Chapter 23
Alfie still felt like he was buzzing as he trotted out onto the field to start the game. It wasn’t the coffee. It couldn’t be the coffee. He’d had that hours ago, and it had never made him feel like this.
Maybe it was the fact Rhys had been the one to hand it to him. He’d been thinking of him even when he went into the coffee shop specifically to flirt with someone else. That should bother him more.
No, pelotudo. He is your friend. You can’t be upset when he is the way he is.
That wasn’t what was bothering him. “They couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I’m sure you know how that is.”
Had he made Rhys feel that way? He certainly had never meant to. He just…didn’t want anything to change between them. Which meant he needed to keep his own feelings under wraps. He could live without sex, but he could not live without having Rhys in his life.
He knew from experience what would happen if Rhys figured out how deep his feelings went. He’d walk away. Just like Tomas had back in Venezuela. Like Carlos had in Florida. He hadn’t ever wanted to risk it again when people he’d considered friends had been so disgusted with him.
He didn’t think he could bear it if Rhys turned away from him. So, no more sex. It would be better that way.
Caleb glanced over at him from shortstop. “Don’t worry,” he said, “We’re going to sink these guys. I’m going to make it my mission.”
Alfie shoved away the other thoughts as Isaac threw one final warm up pitch to Oscar behind the plate. Rhys sat in the dugout, elbows on his knees. He’d acted like he wasn’t bothered by that, but Alfie had seen the look in his eyes.
“I’m not worried.” Alfie pulled his gaze away from Rhys once again. “I would not think you would want to drown former teammates, though.”
Caleb cast him a look. “After what happened when we played them in Arkala? I’d tie the anchor around their ankles personally.”
A laugh burst out of Alfie. Caleb grinned at him. “It’s not like it is here. They made it clear I wasn’t one of them. Especially once they learned I was trans.”
The first batter stepped up to the plate then and the umpire signaled for the game to begin. Alfie glanced once more at Rhys, but his focus seemed to be solely on Isaac.
The game started out well. Isaac set the first batter down with four pitches. The second grounded out with a ball to Ryder at first. After a long battle, ten pitches in all, the third batter popped up to the infield. “Lo tengo,” Alfie called, moving forward so he was under the ball.
When it landed firmly in his glove, he tossed the ball toward the mound then jogged across the field to the dugout.
Rhys sat in the same spot on the bench, but he was sitting up a little more.
Still, he didn’t meet Alfie’s eyes as he talked to Ryder.
“Great defense out there. If you can keep that up, we’ll definitely make those Sailors have to swim home. ”
Caleb glanced at Alfie. “See? I’m not the only one who wants to drown them.”
Rhys’s lips quirked, then he met Alfie’s gaze, and his face fell again. “Good catch out there.”
Alfie could barely swallow. None of this was right.
Him and Rhys weren’t like this together.
He needed to find a way to fix it. There wasn’t time right now, though.
So, he said, “We just need to do it twenty-four more times.” He walked past Rhys to grab his helmet and hoped he’d actually need it this inning.
Nik struck out, but Caleb managed to get an infield single, barely beating the throw from short.
As Ryder strode out to the plate, Alfie stepped into the on-deck circle.
They could do this. Even if Ryder got out, as long as it wasn’t a double play, they’d have a chance to score first. Then they had to stay out in front, and they’d win this.
Ryder’s bat let out a loud crack as he connected with the ball, and Alfie’s mouth dropped open. The ball shot to the second baseman’s glove, and he tossed it to first before Caleb was able to dive back to the bag.
With his head hanging down, Alfie headed to the dugout to get his glove. Had he just cursed them all?