Chapter 40
Rhys had been one of the first here to get on the bus, and even Turner had given him a strange look. Yeah, he knew he had a reputation for never being on time. Certainly not for being early. What else had he been supposed to do with himself?
He had not been able to sleep. Not since leaving Mel’s and getting that damn email.
He hadn’t bothered reading the rest of it, but those first words blasted through his head.
He was exhausted, but that didn’t keep his brain from snatching sleep away from him just when he thought he could grab a few hours.
He’d stopped at the coffee shop this morning, Mel’s smile had done more to buoy his energy than any amount of coffee could do.
He’d wanted to kiss them as they handed over his coffee and brushed their fingers over his. They were at work, and it wasn’t like that between them. They’d made out on Mel’s couch for about five minutes. That didn’t mean they had a relationship.
Rhys wouldn’t even know what that would be like.
Since he’d been awake, he figured he might as well be here so he didn’t have to worry about running late. Being around the team would help quiet some of the thoughts in his head.
He knew better than to think he could shut them out completely. He’d been succeeding. Until Alfie climbed onto the bus and seemed to freeze at the sight of him. Had that been a wounded look on his face? No, surely not.
It’s not like Rhys had done anything to him. He hadn’t even asked Elijah to sit next to him, who must have seen it as well. He leaned closer to Rhys “Do you want me to move? Alfie can sit here.”
Rhys forced a smile. “Nah. There’s no need. It’s just a two-hour bus ride.”
To fucking Ohio. He kept that part to himself. Tavell leaned forward between their seats and started talking to Elijah. Rhys let the conversation wash over him, though he laughed at the stupid jokes Tavell cracked, even as his thumb tapped against his thigh.
It wasn’t just the bus ride he was thinking about.
The last time they’d gone to New Cresthill he thought he’d kept everything under wraps.
There had been that moment when he’d nearly blown up at Caleb.
Just because he’d said something about Brock which hit a button Rhys hadn’t realized was quite so sensitive in that moment.
None of it had been his teammate’s fault. He didn’t know.
No one knew what living in that town had been like. Especially after Simon died. When he hadn’t had anyone who actually cared. Then, he’d been shipped off to Brentley. He closed his hand into a fist against his thigh.
He was not going there. They weren’t going there.
He had managed to keep everything contained the last time they were there. He could do it again.
Except they’d been on a winning streak. They’d only lost the final game of the series, and then they’d left right after that.
He hadn’t had to dwell on it in that place.
Their hotel and the ballpark were on the other side of the city from where he’d lived with the Lowrys. His last chance at an actual home.
He thought of Liam and his fears of being sent to a group home of his own.
It hadn’t been great for Rhys, but he hadn’t lied to Liam.
It was the safest he’d felt since the morning Simon picked him up in that parking lot and asked if he was lost. Well, that wasn’t completely true.
When Simon had been able to come around, then he’d felt safe, no matter what home he was in.
But, he couldn’t always be there.
Rhys rested his head against the seat. He hadn’t missed Simon so much in years. He’d been the only one who sat and listened to Rhys ramble until he figured out what he was trying to say. The one who saw when Rhys was hurting and tried to do something about it.
Then he’d had to go and die in that damn fire.
Rhys couldn’t hold that against the man, it’s not like he’d wanted to die doing his job.
But, he’d had no one after that. It felt like his life had been one long spiral followed by another, the only thing ever holding him together had been baseball.
He was reverting to that kid now. He didn’t like it, not at all, but he wasn’t sure how to make it stop.
He needed to figure it out before they got to New Cresthill, and he had more pieces of his past shoved in his face once more.
Mel:
Good luck on your road trip
I don’t think I said that when you were in here earlier
Rhys:
Thanks. Just left a bit ago.
Still over an hour to go
I’m booooored. Please entertain me
Mel
You didn’t bring a book or something
Rhys
You want me to be sick all over my teammates?
Mel
Oh, you’re one of those. My mother never understood how I could have my nose stuck in a book during a long car ride.
Well, really a car ride of any length
Rhys
I think my stomach might be upset just thinking about it
Of course, I don’t have to be in a moving vehicle for my eyes to not focus on a page
I should have downloaded that book Caleb told me about, but I didn’t get around to it
It’s in audio at least, so I could listen
Mel
Hey, that still counts as reading
Sorry, break’s over. Let me know when you get there
Rhys couldn’t stop his eyes from darting around as he walked from the bus into the hotel. He was being ridiculous. He knew that. Craig might not even live here anymore. No reason to think he’d know they’d be here now. Or that he’d for some reason hunt Rhys down.
Sending emails was one thing. Direct confrontation was something else. Although Craig had never thought twice about throwing a punch.
He hadn’t followed baseball back then. Rhys didn’t see any reason that would have changed. It would be easy to find out they were playing here, he wouldn’t know where they were staying anyway. No, he was just being paranoid.
“Are you all right?” Alfie came up beside him as they approached the doors.
Rhys nearly jumped out of his skin. God, he needed to get hold of himself. “I’m fine. I don’t know why you’d ask that.”
Alfie looked at him for a long moment. Rhys wasn’t sure what to make of that expression on his face, or the words he mumbled. He picked out ‘Rosalita’ among the Spanish, but he didn’t have a clue what Alfie’s sister had to do with anything.
It didn’t even matter. He wanted to get into a room and drop onto a flat surface. Maybe he would finally be able to sleep. He was so fucking exhausted. He’d hoped the coffee this morning would have helped. His eyelids had seemed heavier when he finished it.
Still he couldn’t stop wondering if he’d see Craig pop out from behind a door.
He knew the thought didn’t make sense. It felt like he was walking through fog even with his teammates chattering around him. He blinked when Alfie held up a key card in front of him. “What?” he asked.
“Did you drink something before we left?”
“Coffee. Why?”
“You’re acting strange.”
“No stranger than normal,” Rhys said, trying to pass it off as a joke.
“A lot stranger than normal,” Alfie countered, apparently taking him seriously. He didn’t say anything else until they were up in their room. Rhys barely remembered climbing the stairs, but he must have because he was sitting on a bed.
“What is wrong with you?” Alfie asked.
“Tired.” Rhys laid down and rolled onto his side. “Will you lie with me? Don’t want to lose you, too.”
“Why would you lose me? I’m right here.”
“You’ll see. Everyone always sees.” He should shut up. He didn’t even know what he was saying.
The bed moved then Alfie curled up behind him. “When’s the last time you slept?”
“Don’t know. Can’t stop thinking.”
He felt lips against his shoulder, along his neck. Words he didn’t understand before it all just stopped.