Chapter 52
Rhys should be happy for the team. And he was. Really. Even if he couldn’t find the excitement that usually washed through him after a win. Even when it was a game he’d spent on the bench. Messing up his shoulder felt like it had done more to him than just taking him out of the game for a week.
He needed to get over it. Not everything had to be about him. No matter how selfish he was.
“I don’t think you’re any more selfish than anyone else.”
He shook off the memory of Mel’s text from the other night. They didn’t know him. He in fact could be selfish. Only caring about what he wanted. He still tried to make whoever he was with feel good, at least. He certainly didn’t go without while he was at it.
Mel hadn’t been talking about sex, so why was he going there? Because it’s all you ever think about.
Not true. He thought about baseball, too. With that off the table, his mind needed somewhere to go.
Since he hadn’t been able to dress for the game, he didn’t worry about changing. He headed out to get on the shuttle back to the hotel.
He stopped a few feet across the parking lot. He could not be seeing what he thought he did.
“Hello, Rhys. It's going to be hard to ignore me now.”
“What the hell are you doing here, Craig?” He'd gotten a little taller, but otherwise Rhys's former foster brother still looked the same as the last time Rhys had seen him.
“Didn’t I just say that? I wasn’t going to let you keep ignoring me. Mom needs our help.”
“She’s not my mother. She never was.”
Craig took a step closer to him. “That’s a load of bullshit. She took you in, treated you like her own child. It was more than you deserved, but she loved your perverted ass.”
“I was fifteen years old,” he said, his voice trembling. “She found you beating on me, and then punished me for it. Even though you were older. And bigger.”
Craig sneered at him. “She was helping you. Too bad you couldn’t be saved. She did the best she could by you, and you repaid her by running away. What good did that do you? Did you have an easier time in that group home?”
“Yes,” Rhys nearly shouted. “No one beat the shit out of me for kissing a boy when I was there.”
“Well, they obviously should have. Someone needed to beat some respect into you. Even now, you can’t help out a woman who gave so much to you.”
“I don’t owe her, or you, anything. I don’t know what the hell you want from me.” Rhys stepped around his former foster brother.
“She’s dying,” Craig said. “She can’t afford the tests and medicine she needs.”
Rhys stopped, but he didn’t turn back. “I’m sorry about that,” he finally said, “but I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“You really are stupid then. You’re a professional athlete. The least you can do is send her some money. They could have kept you from playing, and then where would you be? A big fat nothing if you couldn’t catch a stupid ball.”
Rhys sucked in a breath as the words slammed him in the chest. He forced out a rough laugh. “Do your research before you try to extort someone, Craig. I play minor league ball. You don’t make bank until you get to the majors. I’m not any more likely to be able to afford whatever it is she needs.”
“You are so full of shit.”
“Is this person bothering you, Rhys?”
Rhys didn’t look back at Alfie, but his eyes burned as his throat closed up on him. This was the last thing he wanted his teammates to witness. Especially not Alfie. He didn’t need to know just what Rhys had come from. It certainly wouldn’t make him think any better of him.
As if Alfie didn’t already know he was a mess.
“It’s fine,” Rhys said. “He was just leaving. I’m going to find a seat.”
He stepped away from Alfie and kept his gaze down on the pavement as he walked.
Craig called his name, but he reached into his bag and pulled out his headphones, slipping them over his ears.
He hadn’t planned to listen to anything on the short ride to the hotel.
Maybe this would at least let him hide away from the truth which had been shoved at him.
He was never outrunning his past. No matter how fast he tried to go.
Alfie took the seat next to him and rested his hand on Rhys’s knee. Rhys didn’t look over at him. He couldn’t. Alfie didn’t move his hand. Not until the shuttle was back at the hotel, and they had to get up. Rhys still couldn’t meet his eyes.
Not even when they were in their room with the door between them and everyone else. “Do you want to talk about it?” Alfie asked, his voice low.
“I don’t want to talk at all.” He sank down to his knees.
“Rhys,” Alfie said his name on a groan. “This is not the answer to everything.”
Rhys looked up at him, his fingers gripping Alfie’s zipper. “If you do not want me, you can just say so.”
Alfie’s hand slipped into Rhys’s hair. “Nunca no te quiero.”
Rhys shook his head. “I have no idea what that means.”
Alfie was silent, and Rhys thought he’d step away. God knew Alfie had a lot more self control than Rhys did. If he put that distance between them, Rhys wasn’t sure how he would deal with it. He needed to have this, at least. He didn’t have baseball right now, he couldn’t lose Alfie as well.
He couldn't lose the one thing that would make everything stop for a little while.
“It is not about not wanting you.” Rhys had a feeling that wasn’t quite what he’d said before. “You do not have to do this to yourself though.”
“It’s not like it’s a hardship to take your dick in my mouth.”
Rhys waited until Alfie looked down at him and gave a nod. His tongue slicked over the head of Alfie’s cock, then he took him deeper into his mouth, and Alfie’s hand tightened momentarily in his hair. Rhys moaned and leaned into the touch.
Rhys might not understand the words that fell from Alfie’s mouth, but he let them wash over him as he focused on bringing Alfie to the edge. Making it so Alfie wouldn’t push him away. There might not be too many things he was good at, but he didn’t have any doubts about his talents here.
“You really are stupid then.”
No, he was not letting Craig in here. Not right now. What if he wasn’t the smartest? He could catch a ball. There was more that went into his position. He could bring someone pleasure. He let the sounds Alfie made as he did just that drown out Craig’s words.
This was all he needed. To be able to stop thinking. It had to be enough.
Even if he never would be.