39. Ethan
ETHAN
“I began working as your bodyguard for public events,” Ricky, if that’s even his name, explains to Jackson, sunglasses covering his bruised eye.
We’re slumped around the patio table, half asleep, diving into the breakfast Jax had delivered. It’s too fucking early. I want to return to last night, when I had Aurora wrapped in my arms.
There’s a slight breeze coming in off the ocean, and the air smells salty and crisp. I see why they love this place. I can picture us spending a lot of time here. Our house will be just like this. The thought has me smiling behind my coffee cup.
“I was hoping to get into one of your father’s parties,” Ricky slides the strawberries from his plate to Aurora’s, “but it didn’t happen.”
Jax cuts into his French toast, piled high with whipped cream and berries. “Kyle would never believe I’d bring a guard to a party.”
“True,” Ricky agrees. “But Aurora would.”
That catches my attention, and I set my fork down.
Jackson settles back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. “She’s not getting anywhere near his fucked-up parties.”
“I’m not saying that, but they could be in your suite together during games.”
My stomach turns at the mere thought of Kyle being close to Aurora.“Absolutely not.”
Jax returns to his food. “That’s not even conceivable.”
“ Hypothetically ,” Ricky stresses. “What if we arrange an accidental meeting in your suite? Give him access, let him fill the room, and we show up.”
“How would you go from being her bodyguard to attending his parties... alone ?” Jax shoots him a sharp look.
“Aurora will bring a female agent to your game to catch someone’s eye. We just need an in.”
Every second, my irritation builds, and the crease between my brow deepens.
Jackson huffs. “You think I trust you to use my girlfriend as bait?”
Our girl picks her head up from my shoulder. “I’ll do it.”
“No,” Jax and I say in unison.
“We want this to be over, don’t we?” Her gaze shifts between us. “Kyle won’t do anything at the arena, and it’s safer than Jax going to one of his parties.”
Of course she’d offer herself up, and that pisses me off.
“Stop talking,” I snarl at her. “It’s not happening. For either of you.”
“Ethan—” she starts, but I was through with this conversation before it even began.
“That baby is mine.” I point to her stomach, then to her chest. “ You are mine. So let me make myself clear: you are not going anywhere near Kyle.” I emphasize each word, my eyes boring into hers, daring her to cross me.
“Stop with the possessive bullshit,” Ricky barks. “I can protect her. I’ll be there as well.”
“Like fuck you can.” My head snaps in his direction. “Like you protected her when you allowed Kyle in here?”
His nostrils flare, and his voice rises. “I didn’t think Kyle would harm her.”
“You didn’t think a man who abuses women would harm her?”
He has the gall to appear insulted and lean in opposite me. “Not his son’s pregnant girlfriend!”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I rest my elbows on the table.
“Did Jackson rattle something in your brain? Kyle abused his son and the mother of his own child.” I inch forward until we’re nearly face-to-face.
“It’s not fucking happening.” I push my chair back and toss my napkin down before I wrap my hands around his throat and finish the job Jax started.
Aurora places her hand on mine and attempts to weave our fingers together.
I shake her off, stand from my seat, and mumble, “I have to go. We have a game tonight.”
Every step I take toward our room intensifies my frustration. It occurs to me that while I’m at work, nothing is stopping her from going behind my back. She’ll do it to prevent Jax from meeting with his father and possibly relapsing.
I’m folding my dirty clothes from yesterday when she enters and shuts the door.
“Ethan.” My name rolls off her tongue in that uncanny way that’s both pleading and adoring.
I swear, if she pleads with me to let her put herself and our child in danger, I’ll snap.
“Don’t do it, Aurora.”
“We have time to discuss this. Jackson’s next game isn’t for weeks.”
“There is nothing to discuss.” I spin on her and wave my hands. “ Nothing .”
“Can we at least talk about us before you leave?”
She’s innocent and young, standing in front of me in an oversized T-shirt and tall socks, her hair bedroom messy. A part of me wants to lift her into my arms and carry her back to bed.
Another part of me, the one that’s winning, is scared shitless. “Us? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“ Us right now doesn’t feel like us yesterday.” She twists the hem of her shirt, her head lowered. “Yesterday, you were in this relationship. Today, it feels as though you’re running. I won’t even see you for weeks.”
That hits a sore spot. I have a tendency to run. From feelings. From emotions. From getting my heart trampled on.
She’d do anything for Jax, including defy me.
I want her, but I have to know I can trust her.
I need to be in control.
“Relationship? You have no concept of what it means to be in a stable relationship.” Especially one with me.
She flinches, as though my words have dealt a physical blow, yet she swiftly regains composure, straightening her posture and squaring her shoulders.
“And you do?” She gives a cynical chuckle. “Because you were married ? I’m sorry, but I’ll choose this,” she gestures in front of her, indicating our chaotic trio, “over your marriage any day.”
She spits out the word marriage as if it’s a joke, only adding fuel to my anger.
“You have no idea what it’s like being married, what type of commitment it takes.”
“Commitment?” she echoes mockingly. “Okay, Ethan.” She nods in defeat, and her eyes turn glassy.
A sense of foreboding hits me in the chest, but I’m too much of a prideful asshole to admit she’s right and fix this.
“I’ve bled for that man.” She thrusts a pointed finger toward the door—toward Jax.
“I’ve had my heart shattered and stomped on.
I’ve spent sleepless nights worried about where he was, days wondering why I wasn’t good enough.
I’ve been through drunken rages and frightening hangovers.
” Tears cling to her lashes, and she sucks in a shuddering breath.
“ That’s commitment.” Her lips tremble.
“It’s not a ring or a piece of paper.” Her tears spill over.
“It’s breaking yourself to put them back together, and you have no fucking clue what that’s like. ”
She turns away, and I’m frozen in utter shock and stupidity.
When she reaches the door, she pauses and glances over her shoulder. “You’re right about one thing. I’ve never had anything stable. But if stable looks anything like your marriage, then fuck stable . If that’s what you want, then fuck you too.”
If it were anyone else she was berating, I’d be so proud of her.
Am I resentful of everything she went through and continues to go through for Jax? Undoubtedly. Am I going to allow her to walk away from me? Nope.
In two steps, I’m in front of her, and she’s backed against the door.
I grab her chin and force her gaze to mine. “If you defy me and meet with Kyle, I’ll handcuff you to me. You won’t leave my sight. When this is all said and done, we’ll discuss us .”
She twists her reddened face from my grasp and leaves the room without another word.
I stand there, dumbfounded. I know why I’m angry—I don’t want her risking herself. I’ll lose my fucking mind if something were to happen to her or the baby.
She’s mad and hurt, and rightfully so. I flung my marriage in her face, and she caught it and threw it back at me ten times harder. That’s what Aurora does. She hands me my ass tied in a pretty little pink bow with a note that says, Nice try, asshole.
On the way home, regret settles in. I was jealous and possessive, and I let my temper go unchecked. I don’t want her around Kyle, that’s a given. Yet, I can’t help feeling envious of her unwavering devotion to Jax and her fierce determination to protect him.
It’s almost hilarious how much of an idiot I am.
I doubt Aurora is laughing right about now.