26. Ethan
TWENTY-SIX
ETHAN
“You get her publicly. Spend the day together. Go on dates— fuck , for all I care—but she’s living with me.” I pace the room, gesturing animatedly with my hands.
Jackson ignores me, not giving a shit about my ranting. He hasn’t glanced in my direction twice since I arrived at the hospital, keeping his focus on Aurora and the baby monitor. His knowledge of all this baby stuff is another thing that irks me.
The hour-long ride was brutal. Seeing her for the first time in months was equally as hard. I wanted to delay this moment. I knew being around her would only intensify my longing, and I thought if I kept my distance, I could repress my feelings for her.
Now, regret is tearing me apart. She’s my responsibility, and her safety should’ve been a priority.
“Stop talking about me as if I’m not right here . I’m not living with you. I don’t know you.”
Her voice is strained. She’s worried about the baby, and the maternity unit is taking its sweet-ass time with the ultrasound.
Jackson lifts his head, his hair in disarray from raking his finger through it. “Dude, fuck off. I wouldn’t have called you if I knew you’d be a dick.”
I stop pacing to face him, arms crossed over my chest. “Aurora and my baby need a stable home. Period. End of discussion. No more roommate problems, no more estranged family, no more fans and paparazzi.”
He narrows his bloodshot eyes. “The baby might be yours, but she’s not. Don’t forget that.”
“She’s not yours either. Don’t get ahead of yourself.” I suck in a breath to calm my irritability and bring it down a notch. He and I fighting won’t help Aurora. “I couldn’t care less about your relationship, but it’s clear she’s not safe living with you.”
Seeing her has my mind playing tricks on me. I envision a gated property in Santa Monica and Aurora with me every night—an absolute dream. The specifics and technicalities are cloudy, but I’ll figure them out along the way.
Jackson scoffs, and my dreams come crashing down around me.
“How will youprovide a stable home when you spend twenty hours a day preparing for your championship season?”
My frustration boils over, and my temper flares. “I can’t concentrate on the season if I’m constantly dealing with you two!”
Am I talking about Aurora and the baby, or Aurora and Jackson? All three? I haven’t even a clue. I never expected any of this.
“ That’s what this is about.” Aurora’s voice cracks, and her lips tremble. “Don’t worry about me. I’m not your responsibility nor your shameful burden to deal with.”
Her words are daggers, and I quickly realize the magnitude of my fuck-up. I need a muzzle when I’m panicked.
“I was assaulted,” she cries. “I haven’t seen my baby— your baby —and all you care about is your fucking hockey season?”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” I say through gritted teeth, but it’s too late.
Her anger and hurt are palpable, and I watch helplessly as Jackson climbs into the bed with her. He kisses away her tears, and I’m frozen, a spectator to their undeniable bond.
He’s rightfully tormented by what happened, apologizing profusely and promising to cut all ties with Kyle. I half expect him to get down on one knee, profess his undying love, and propose.
He touches, kisses, and holds her with the intimacy of a boyfriend while I remain on the fringes, the interloper. Envy gnaws at me, but this is what I wanted, and I only have myself to blame.
My head screams at me to walk away. Watching him with her is torture. I’m not and will never be the shining star Jackson is. The only thing I have, perhaps the only thing I’ll ever have, is hockey, and pursuing her will fuck that up.
But my heart anchors me here, telling me that leaving is a mistake. We made a baby . No matter how surreal it is, it’s happening. I have to make this work. I can’t let my temper cloud my judgment and push her away.
Determined, I give them privacy and walk out the door. “Where’s the ultrasound?” I ask a passing nurse, who raises her brows at my demanding tone.
Agitation crawls under my skin in response to Aurora’s distress. I’m surprised Jackson hasn’t blown a fucking gasket already. I expected him to be outraged and over the top while I kept my cool. Apparently, today, we’re switching positions, and I get to be the moody asshole.
Unfortunately, this is all Aurora knows of me.
“Sir, the maternity unit is sending someone as soon as they can. Can I bring you something to drink while you wait?”
Although her offer is condescending, I accept, asking for three water bottles, and return to the room.
“He hates me,” Aurora sobs.
My feet come to a stop at the threshold.
“No, he doesn’t. Far from it. He’s trying to avoid letting you in.” There’s silence and then the rustling of the bedding before Jackson says, “Sleep, babe. You’re exhausted. I’ll be here.”
I tip my head back, inhale deeply, allowing my lungs to expand, and exhale slowly.
She thinks I hate her. Jesus, fuck. Can this get any worse?
And why isn’t he seizing this opportunity to outmaneuver me? It’d be much easier if I could despise him.
Quietly entering, I take the chair Jackson was sitting in earlier and hand him a bottle of water before studying the baby monitor. I have no idea what I’m seeing, but the moving lines seem encouraging.
Careful not to disturb Aurora, he leans over. “The right side shows the baby’s heart rate, and the left shows his movement.”
“And everything is good?”
“Yeah. He moves a lot.” A proud smile spreads across his lips.
And what else can I do but return it?
An hour later, the ultrasound machine arrives, wheeled in by a technician who balks when he sees our trio.
He glances between Jackson and me then grins at a groggy Aurora. “Hello, sweetheart! We meet again.”
There’s enough saccharine in his tone that Jackson and I share a glance of annoyance. It’d take a massive set of balls to get through the two of us. It’s almost laughable.
Realization hits me hard in the chest. I compared myself to Jackson. I’m not only irritable, I’m fucking jealous—of him, of any other guy.
I’ve never been jealous and possessive over a woman. I’m entirely out of my element.
No wonder I can’t keep my shit together.
The technician positions the machine close to the bed and asks, “The report states you fell.” He eyes Jackson and me with suspicion. “Did you take any hits to the stomach, darling?”
That’s two strikes with the endearments, and I’m itching to snap. I need Jackson to step up his game so I don’t get into more trouble with Aurora.
“I…I don’t know.” She glances at Jackson for help. “I fainted before I hit the ground. I’m not sure. I have scrapes on my arms and knees, nothing on my stomach.”
Jackson tugs at his hair. “Not that I saw, but she landed pretty hard.”
Aurora twists the bedding, and I take her hand in mine. My pulse races when she doesn’t pull away, allowing me to bring her knuckles to my lips. I make the mistake of breathing her in. She’s as sweet as I remember, and my eyes fall shut.
Holding her hand, I pay close attention to the assessment, learning she’s fifteen weeks pregnant. She hasn’t felt the baby move, and she has been having dizzy spells. Jackson mentions her high blood pressure and stress, which only adds to my unresolved guilt.
I never wanted kids, but I also never expected to be incompetent at taking care of what’s mine.
The ultrasound tech finishes the setup and reaches for the blanket, presumably to expose Aurora’s stomach.
Before he can, Jackson finally steps in. “Nice try, handsy, but no.” He adjusts Aurora’s bedding and gown to reveal her rounded belly.
Internally, I groan at the pleasurable sight of her sporting my baby bump. Seeing her pregnant with my child stirs something primal inside me, and the craving to touch her gnaws at my insides.
It’s my baby. I should be able to caress and kiss her stomach whenever I want.
The tech glides the gel-covered wand across her abdomen, delicately maneuvering until the stillness of the room is shattered by the rhythmic melody of our baby’s heartbeat. My throat tightens, a painful knot of unshed tears and unspoken words.
Aurora releases a shaky sigh, happiness and relief tracing a path down her cheek, and I lean over to brush away the tear. “It’s going to be all right, I promise.”
I’d give her anything right now. I’m such a sucker for this girl. If it wasn’t for Jackson, I’d be on my knees, begging and proposing.
Okay, maybe not.
Ah, shit, probably.
A tiny figure appears on the screen, and the reality of becoming a father blows me away. Fuck, this is mine. I can hardly believe what I’m staring at, marveling at the small, moving being.
Jackson gives Aurora the biggest grin I’ve ever seen grace his face. “I love him already,” he says, further solidifying his attachment.
How could I possibly deprive him of this? It’d ruin him. The kid has nothing but Aurora and hockey.
Does it have to be him or me?
I watch my child’s tiny, flickering heartbeat, silently vowing that regardless of the chaos, I will withstand any fallout to provide Aurora and our unborn child the love and protection they deserve.
Even if that includes Jackson.