Chapter 4 #2
I keep careful lists of what each of my family like and dislike to eat and drink.
D’Angelo is the easiest.
I’m cooking D’Angelo one of his favorites, lasagna, tonight to celebrate our first proper meal in the house.
It’s so much easier to care for the people I love now that I am finally out of the sling.
I attempt to hide the wince, when my shoulder twinges.
My injury still hurts, but my lovers don’t need to know that.
I can handle my own pain. I always have. And I won’t ruin our first week in our new home with my shit.
I study D’Angelo, noticing how pale he is, despite the way that he is attempting to eat the apple with studied calmness.
I sit on the end of the bed. “I should come to the meeting with you.”
“You shouldn’t.” D’Angelo fixes me with his icy stare. “Code scheduled a physiotherapy session with you at Tide Cottage. Also, he wants to bake something for you. Isn’t it his turn?”
I shift, uncomfortable. “I taught him Mum’s secret Yorkshire pudding recipe last time.
She gave me special permission. He said that he would make something special in return in our Bakers of Bay Rebels online WhatsApp chat.
That’s how these things work: You swap secret recipes and you don’t break the deal. ”
That’s what friends do. Shay taught me that.
Sometimes, the secrets that Cody and I share are more important than about baking. Cody and I also share things about our dark pasts with each other, in ways that we can’t with anyone else.
And he doesn’t even hate me for mine.
D’Angelo blinks. “I hope that the mafia never recruit you.”
I cock my head. “So do I.”
“Ta da!” Robyn stands up, excitedly waving a pair of black pants. “Now, I just have to find the rest of the outfit.” Then her eyes narrow. “You’re squinting. Pain level?”
Shit, she noticed.
She sees me.
My expression gentles. “Two.”
“At least a three then.” D’Angelo strolls across the room, placing the core of the apple down on the tray. Then he slides open the nightstand and takes out a bottle of meds. “Do you want one?”
I shake my head. “I don’t need it.”
I do.
I pushed myself too hard, when I was helping D’Angelo to prepare the mansion and make sure that it was ready in time. Then I strained every muscle in the effort to surprise Robyn and my brother yesterday.
It was worth it.
I set my jaw, expecting D’Angelo to challenge me. Instead, he simply sets the bottle on the tray.
“Talk to Code,” he says. “Take them, if you need them. Your health matters. You matter.”
Why are my eyes burning?
I turn my head, giving a curt nod.
Suddenly, the bathroom door bursts open, and Shay explodes into the room in a fog of steam.
His golden hair is damp, falling over his eyes.
He’s naked and wet.
Of course he is.
“Towel,” I growl.
Shay grins, stepping further into the room and dripping puddles of water onto the floor. “I’m air drying.”
“It’s January.”
“I’m in a rush.” Shay bounds to me, vibrating with an excitement that makes my expression soften. “The taps are gold, Dee. The shower is like a waterfall. Do you want to try it? This place is…”
He trails off like he doesn’t even have a word for it.
He’s overwhelmed.
I knew that he would be. He didn’t sleep at all last night. I woke up in the early hours and saw him pacing the room and trying to beat Cody’s score on Candy Crush.
I glance at the handcuffs, which are attached to the headboard.
Has D’Angelo put them there to help if Shay’s insomnia becomes worse?
Shay takes a wary step back from me. “What are you planning, bro?”
I give him an even stare but don’t answer.
D’Angelo simply pats his thigh in invitation.
Shay hurls himself onto D’Angelo’s lap with enough force to almost knock D’Angelo sprawling back onto the bed.
D’Angelo wraps his arms around Shay. “Are you trying to dry yourself on me?”
Robyn grins. “You’re lucky that the puppy isn’t shaking himself and…”
That’s a mistake.
Shay’s eyes twinkle with mischief, before he whips his head side to side, spraying D’Angelo’s face with water droplets.
Predictable.
D’Angelo splutters in shock.
Robyn laughs.
“You’ll regret that later,” D’Angelo growls.
“I won’t.” Shay licks a tear of water off D’Angelo’s cheek.
D’Angelo’s long eyelashes flutter.
D’Angelo doesn’t push Shay away but holds him closer.
“How are you feeling, cucciolo?” D’Angelo checks in. “Don’t think that I missed how little you slept last night. Are you truly okay with moving in here?”
Shay looks down. “Don’t get me wrong, darlin’, this is the best surprise of my life. I bloody love that you want to live with me, even if I have already broken two probably priceless heirlooms.”
“Two…?”
“Wait, didn’t I tell you about the incident with the hockey stick and the mirror…?” Shay wets his lips. “What I’m trying to say is that I love it here. It’s just that it’s large.”
It’s large.
Two words.
There is so much that he’s saying and yet not saying in those words.
Shay glances across at me for understanding and support. I meet his gaze and nod.
His shoulders relax.
Yet I’m relieved that I can see the same understanding in D’Angelo’s expression.
It’s why I trust him with my brother.
I would tear off the cock of anyone who hurt my twin.
“And you?” D’Angelo arches his brow at me.
“I miss Puck,” I admit.
Puck is the squirrel who lived in the tree behind the house, which I was previously living in. She would scamper down the branch and visit me.
She wasn’t a pet. She felt even more important than that.
I had a cat as a kid in England, Silky. She was my closest friend. I could talk to her in a way that I couldn’t with anyone else.
If I hadn’t needed to follow Shay into the NHL, then I would have trained as a vet.
I miss having an animal around. They are better than humans.
D’Angelo points at the tree mural. “Look closer. I had her painted.”
I stand up and walk to the wall, peering at the mural.
A tiny red squirrel peers out from a hole in the tree.
My chest swells with a feeling that I don’t understand. I bite my lip.
It’s too much.
Confused, I wrap my arms around myself.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“Also,” D’Angelo unexpectedly sounds more uncertain, “I thought that after the season ends…if you like…we could adopt a cat from the shelter.”
I spin to him in shock.
Is he telling the truth?
“Really?” I demand.
He nods.
Shay kisses D’Angelo, passionately. “Bloody love you. Hear that, Dee? Your own cat.”
Cats.
Plural.
This place is large like Shay said. If D’Angelo is okay with me getting an animal, then I can adopt a couple of them, right?
A whole litter of cats. It could be a colony of them.
D’Angelo is studying me warily. “Ehm, what are you planning?”
“Nothing.”
Robyn drags on a cashmere white sweater, which makes her hair appear an even brighter flaming red.
She’s fucking beautiful.
“I’ve known for months that I wanted to move in with you all,” she says.
“But I still didn’t know that it would feel like this.
When I would see couples in love, and wonder why Wilder and I didn’t act like they did, I knew that something was missing right from the start of our marriage.
I’d think: What does true love feel like?
” She glances around the three of us and then down at the rings on her right hand that we each gave her: a silver 22 design, which is sunk into a gold signet ring, a flaming phoenix with amber eyes, and a simple silver ring with four stars to represent each of us in this relationship. “And this right now is it.”
My eyes widen.
I get it now.
Every moment in the present with Robyn, not escaping my past but not haunted by it, is what loving…and being loved…should feel like.
The healthy type and not the toxic kind that I know these three have suffered before. I will fight, for as long as they’ll keep me in their lives, to ensure they only ever feel this type of love again.
I run my hand through my slicked back hair, before turning again to Shay. “Eat.”
“You’re brilliant, bro.” Shay wriggles off D’Angelo’s lap and snatches up a blueberry muffin.
He takes a large bite, not worrying about the crumbs that fall onto the sheets.
D’Angelo’s fingers twitch, and he wrinkles his nose.
“Up at dawn and already baking. These are delicious. How was the kitchen?”
“Best I’ve baked in,” I reply. “It had everything that I could ever need.”
D’Angelo looks pleased. “Just ask if you think of something else that you want me to order.”
Shay takes another bite of muffin. “The bathroom cupboards are even stocked with our hair gel and all our favorite shit. Can you charge it to my salary and not Eden’s?”
I scowl, flushing. “I can pay my way.”
I earn a tiny salary compared to my twin, but he doesn’t need to cover for me.
D’Angelo glances between us. “You may not have noticed, despite being in my literal mansion, but I am rather wealthy. And everything in it is covered by me. I want to indulge my family. Those are my needs. Any problem with that?”
I shake my head.
At least I will have more money to send back to my parents. I want to buy them their first ever car this month.
Shay sidles up to Robyn, rubbing against her. “Smell me.”
She chuckles but takes a deep sniff. “I could devour you. Spicy, smoky, and sensual.”
“Like a king, right?” Shay glances guiltily at D’Angelo. “Sorry, I know that it’s yours and bloody expensive, but it was the only soap I could find in there. It’ll be a good thing that we walk into that meeting with the same scent. United front.”
D’Angelo’s eyes darken. “I love that you smell the same as me, since my property should smell like me.”
Shay’s breath hitches.
He lets out a breathy laugh. “That’s unfair when we don’t have time for you to fuck me into the mattress.”
Robyn pushes Shay toward his own suitcase. “Dad prefers these meetings not to be nudist. I don’t want you guys to be on display, especially with the fans already hot for you with Valentine’s Day coming up. I didn’t realize just how intense this time of the year would be.”
I snort.
She doesn’t see the messages that I screen on the fan sites, official website, and social media.
It’s more than intense and closer to stalker vibes.
I make sure that D’Angelo and Shay don’t see the worst of it and pass on the most threatening ones that cross the line to security and the cops.
There are a lot.
Robyn shudders. “Of course, then some fans actually manage to find this address and send the cards here. That Queen of Hearts one with the creepy message was my fun first report of a Valentine’s to security.”
When Shay flinches and stills, my gaze sharpens.
My brother shouldn’t be still. He is always filled with energy and movement.
What is it about Robyn’s words that has triggered him?
“Why was it creepy?” I’m asking Robyn, but I don’t look away from Shay, focused on his reaction.
Robyn slams her suitcase shut, straightening.
“Well, it was creepy how expensive the card was. I mean, maybe the fan is also wealthy but it’s unusual to spend that much on a card to a celebrity that you don’t know.
Obsessive. Also, it was huge. Then the message inside.
It was a typical roses are red rhyme but then it ended: I love you to death, And I’m coming for you. ”
My hands ball into fists.
It’s a threat wrapped in a love confession.
The worst thing is the way that Shay looks like he may hurl.
He still hasn’t moved.
“Have you reported all the details to the security team?” I demand.
Robyn nods. “It was also addressed to My Knave. I haven’t figured that part out.”
“The knave is the other name for the jack in playing cards.” D’Angelo’s brow knits. “As well as being an insult. Charmingly romantic.”
Shay blanches.
“Shay,” I say, quietly.
“I better get dressed,” Shay replies with a fake brightness that I know well. Yet Shay never usually uses it with me. My stomach curdles. “Coach will kick our arses harder if we’re late.”
I’m certain now.
Something is wrong.
My brother is in trouble. And if he’s not even sharing the problem with me, then he’s in serious danger.