Chapter 20 #3
I stare at him in amazement. “I don’t understand. When have I expected you to be perfect? None of us are angels.”
He pushes himself out of the booth. He stands, shoving his hands into his pockets.
D’Angelo’s shoulders are stiff. “I was a mess after university. I hadn’t processed what had happened to me in the discipline school, my family’s abandonment, or Wilder’s hazing.
No team could control me. Therapy wasn’t working for me like it is now.
Your dad was the only one who stepped up and took me under his wing.
I thought that his rules, demands, and strictness were for my own good.
That he saved me. I’m learning that was bullshit.
The only other man who taught me to be better, however, was Fleet and he’d be so fucking disappointed in me. ”
I exchange a worried glance with Shay. “Why?”
“Because the one thing that Fleet taught me, the cardinal rule, was to never harm a sub,” D’Angelo replies. “And I was so angry at Charles that I did.”
Shocked, I stare at him.
D’Angelo exiled Heine to Germany. Yet he made sure to do it in a way that would keep Heine out of his brutal dad’s hands.
What has this got to do with Blythe?
“What did Blythe say to you when she called?” Shay’s voice is startlingly hard. He never talks like that to D’Angelo. It startles me, as much as it does D’Angelo, who tugs at his tie like he wishes that he could wrench it off.
“I couldn’t tell you.” D’Angelo paces from one side of the booth to the other. He’s spiraling. I can see that he’s heading for an OCD episode but I’m not sure what to do because he needs to talk about this. “I should have done.”
“Then tell us now.” Shay’s expression has marginally softened but is still firm.
“I warned Blythe off contacting you again.” D’Angelo risks glancing at Shay.
“I made it quite clear just how I would ruin her life if she hurt any of my lovers again. Then she said something unexpected. It seems that Charles researched my pets, desperate to find out why I loved you but couldn’t love him.
He found out about Blythe from Shay’s past, putting things together, when she was blacklisted as well.
I suppose he guessed that they could work together against us. ”
I blink, wishing that my mind was clearer and not fogged from beer. “Wait, isn’t that what this is?”
“Strange to say, I wish that it was. I believe that Charles has returned in order to break us apart. The bet is set up to hurt the two people who I love in the way that he wishes I could love him: by trading Shay and bringing Robyn’s ex-husband to Bay Rebels.”
“But doesn’t that mean that Blythe and Heine are working together?” Cody wrinkles his nose. “Heine out in the open and Blythe undercover?”
“That would imply that both Charles and Blythe had equal power over this, rather than one being the puppet of the other.” D’Angelo taps his fingers on his Rolex.
“I’m not proud of how I handled the call with Blythe.
I was still messed up from being tied up and beaten by Charles.
But I never should have said… Blythe told me that since I had blacklisted her from the clubs and events, ensuring that everyone was warned not to play with her, then she would just have to play with Charles. ”
The air whooshes out of me.
Next to me, Shay has gone unnaturally still. “You bloody didn’t.”
D’Angelo avoids his gaze and stops pacing. “I thought that she was bluffing.”
Shay drops his arm from around my shoulder and explodes out of the booth.
D’Angelo holds his ground, stony faced.
“You thought that she was bloody bluffing about exposing me as well.” Shay grabs D’Angelo by the tie and yanks him closer.
“She said that if I didn’t know how to tame a bad sub like you,” D’Angelo meets Shay’s gaze, and Shay flinches, “then she’d break Charles, since I’d rejected him. She told me that she would show him what he actually needs. She would prove who the better dom was.”
“You allowed yourself to get into some kind of dom pissing contest with her?” Shay demands, vibrating with what looks like fury but I know is fear.
“There was never a contest.” D’Angelo’s shaky hands steady.
“She is only a fake dom. My mistake was not protecting Charles. I’ve made myself vulnerable trying to do that for years.
I thought that this time I would let Charles discover what happens when he plays without limits like he always claimed he wanted.
I’d warned him about the dangers, but the dumbass never listened, and maybe, this was the only way—”
“Idiot.” Tears tremble on Shay’s eyelashes. “I hate Heine. But just because someone is on the path to getting themselves killed doesn’t mean that you point them toward the cliff edge.”
“I know,” D’Angelo says, quietly. “I’m sorry.”
Shay hunches his shoulders. “What are you sorry about? You tried to protect me. You threw Charles to the lions to do it. But the thing is that I know what Blythe is capable of and that was when I had Eden to look out for me. Who does Heine have? It’s been bloody months.
Who knows what he’s been going through? Now, the two of them are back. And if he has been broken…”
“It will be my fault.” D’Angelo looks anguished.
“It won’t,” I say, firmly. “Heine latched onto you when he met you in the therapist’s waiting room.
He knew that you had your own trauma. You only tried to be his friend.
He was the one who broke your boundaries and ignored your limits.
He sought out Blythe. You’re not responsible for what either of those assholes do together or by themselves.
I love that you’re a good enough man to feel responsible for everyone like you are as the captain.
But you’re not. Listen to me, D’Angelo. You can’t control everything.
Bad things happen, but it doesn’t make you bad. ”
D'Angelo gives me a crooked smile. “Have I told you that I love you yet today, cara mia?”
“Precisely seven times.”
“Then let’s make it eight times. I fucking love you.”
Shay throws his arms around D’Angelo’s neck. “I’m sorry. I was just bloody shocked and scared.”
D’Angelo awkwardly pats his back. “Public, remember?”
“It’s a manly hug. Mates hug, right?” Shay deliberately pulls D’Angelo closer, then shoves him away in an exaggeratedly blokish way.
D’Angelo’s lips quirk. “Mates.”
Shay’s expression is fragile. “We’re okay, yeah?”
“Of course, cucciolo. If you can forgive me?”
“Already forgiven. We can face a fake dom and a broken pet, right? We’re much stronger, all of us.” Even in this situation, Shay is the most positive and optimistic person I know.
Honestly, what Blythe said has made me queasy.
She’s here to prove that she’s a better dom for Shay than D’Angelo is.
How far will she go to do that?
She has already tried with twisted Valentine’s cards and gifts. She has shown her control over Heine. She has sent orders for Shay to carry out himself before he hits the ice.
Suddenly, I become ashen.
I drop my bottle with a clank. Beer spills out in a malty puddle, and Cody dives to try and catch it with paper napkins.
I don’t notice.
Instead, I’m staring at Shay like any moment he may be snatched away from me and hurt like he was in the past.
It’s his nightmare but mine as well.
“What if Blythe’s plan is smarter than that?
” I whisper. “She worked to ensure we lost the bet that she set up through Heine. She shook Shay, the top scorer, before every game with orders that she knew would psychologically screw him up. She forced him into the wrong headspace to play, especially without aftercare. She kept D’Angelo on edge with the cards, gifts, and Misfits.
Then she schemed that when we lose the bet, Wilder would have to come to Freedom.
He may be in on it. But worse, once Shay is sent to Pittsburgh, he’ll be alone.
We can’t let that happen. Surely, her ultimate aim is to isolate him.
We won’t be there to stop her trying to prove to him directly that she’s the best dom and break him like she has Heine. ”