Chapter 21
SAYLOR
She found Wren, Win, Karissa, Glitch, and Taz at the edge of the field behind the warehouse, standing in a semi-circle arguing. “I’m not going to kill him,” Taz argued. “I just want to make him hurt a little. Enough that he won’t be this stupid again.”
“No,” Wren and Win both said firmly, crossing their arms over their chests. They were still pale, and there were flashes of pain in their expressions when they moved too fast, but otherwise, you’d never know what they went through mere hours ago. Same with Karissa and Glitch, who were watching the exchange with frowns of their own.
“And how are you going to stop me?” Taz demanded.
“We don’t have to,” Win huffed. She jerked a thumb at Karissa and Glitch. “They can hold your ass down just fine until we’re back to one hundred percent. Tom is being a dick, but you can’t hurt him or kill him. We can handle him ourselves.”
“We don’t need a man to handle him for us,” Wren added for good measure. “You normally fuck it up anyway.”
Ah, now she was starting to see what was going on. Poor Tom had no idea his entire life was being protected by these two girls, even with how pissed they were.
Taz threw up his hands in exasperation. “I don’t want to fix it for you,” he argued. “I just want to show him what happens when he messes with my favorite nieces. This is purely for my own selfish pleasure. You both are free to make him suffer any other way you like.”
“Ignore him,” Glitch advised. “He gets really pouty when he doesn’t get what he wants.” Taz glared at her.
Karissa turned when she heard Saylor and Ursa approaching behind them. She wasn’t sure why Ursa followed her, but she didn’t care. The man hadn’t said a word. “Come to join our party?” Karissa asked her when she came to a stop beside her.
“Couldn’t stay inside with the sausage-fest,” she replied with a shrug. “They’re all being hard-headed asses that can’t seem to understand that women don’t need to be protected. Or at the very least, should be acknowledged, instead of yelled at for helping.”
Karissa and Glitch both nodded. “It’s a problem around here for sure,” Karissa agreed grimly. “Makes you rethink staying, right?”
Saylor sighed. “Kinda, yeah. I’m around men all the time who think they always know better, or have to be the ones in charge. It’s exhausting, and I don’t relish dealing with it long-term if I decide to stay with Jax.”
“Don’t worry, babe, you can come and stay with me,” Taz told her with a wink. “I’m better than him. In every way.”
“Something tells me you wouldn’t be any better about being bossy,” Saylor drawled drily.
“On the contrary,” Taz argued. “Well, I’m bossy where it counts,” he countered.
Saylor rolled her eyes. “I’m not about to leave one bossy man for another. Besides, if I leave, I’m going back home.”
“I might go with you,” Karissa huffed. “I’m getting sick and tired of the way things are around here.”
“I’m tired of being accused of trying to interfere in club business when I do no such thing,” Glitch agreed. The twins stayed quiet, but Saylor could see the discontent on their faces.
“You guys know if you’re unhappy, you can always come back with us,” Taz reminded them. “You always have a place, and you know you’re treated as equals there.”
“Are we?” Glitch asked, glaring at him. “Or was that not you assholes who forgot to include us earlier?”
Taz winced. “Honestly, I really thought they told you, but you’re right; I should have said something when I realized you weren’t in the room. All of us should have said something. My only excuse is I was so caught up in what was going on that I wasn’t thinking. I will never allow it to happen again. I promise.” He said it so sincerely that Saylor had to figure he meant it. It was clear to her that he was very close to these two.
“I’ll offer my apologies, as well,” Ursa added quietly, drawing their gaze. “You’re right. You both are a part of our team, and we should have treated you that way. We should have stood up for you, because that’s what we would want you to do for us. But I’m going to add something, and I want you all to think about it, and not bite my head off. You’re complaining about how you don’t feel respected or treated equally, but all of you are forgetting what the men in the club have done to help you get where you are.”
“You’re saying we should just be grateful for their help and stay silent out of gratitude?” Karissa asked coldly, eyes flashing dangerously.
“No,” Ursa continued calmly. “What I’m saying is that while I understand you’re angry, and I also get why you think the way you do coming from a team like ours, you need to remember that them being as protective as they are has helped you. And, you need to be patient; you’re not going to change decades-old ways of thinking in just a few months. Both of you came from our team where you were treated as equals. We fought with you, and we didn’t baby you. But that isn’t the norm, and the two of you seem to forget that a lot. I’m not saying you’re wrong that things need to change, but you need to remember who you’re dealing with and where you are.
“This is an MC. For a long time, the women of the club would have been subservient. Decades ago, if you pulled half the shit you do now, you’d have been beaten, raped, or worse. The men back then didn’t do equality, and there are still some clubs that run that way. Now, you have a group of men here who figured they would never have women of their own. They’re an MC with women at their disposal all day, every day, if they want it. But here they are, their entire lives changing because of the women they’ve fallen for and decided to bring into the club life. The problem is, they picked strong women that aren’t afraid to speak up, and aren’t afraid to get down and dirty when a fight comes to them. But for this kind of club, that’s like drop-kicking them out of the fifties and straight into the twenty-first century.”
Taz snickered. “I’d love to see you both in some frilly aprons,” he joked. “Really give in to that little woman life.” Karissa and Glitch glared at him while the twins rolled their eyes. Saylor continued to stare at Ursa. She was starting to see his point, even if she didn’t want to.
“Look,” Ursa sighed. “You don’t like it, but you both fell for men in a traditional MC, and with that, there are going to be outdated views you aren’t going to like. Should they be changed? I think so, but that doesn’t happen because you demand it. You also need to give them some leeway in how they handle things. They’re not used to women voicing their opinions on club matters. From what I’ve seen, Royal, Harlow, Esme, and Scarlett tow the line, but stay out of it until their men choose otherwise. You two barrel in, expecting to have a role or at least give your opinion, and that’s not going to happen here. You can either accept it and work on changing things gradually, or you can give up, leave your men, and come back with us, knowing full well you are leaving behind the men you love and are committed to through thick and thin. Not to mention, they have been very accommodating about your men spending more time with us at our clubhouse than before, when they have duties and responsibilities here with their own club.”
“That doesn’t excuse the fact that they use us when it works for them but can’t respect us enough to involve us so we know what we’re up against,” Glitch argued.
“You’re really telling me you wouldn’t protect the women and kids because you’re butt hurt they aren’t including you in the main fight?” Ursa demanded. “Would you be okay with leaving them defenceless if someone got past them? You might see it as an insult, but they see it as trusting you with the people who mean the most in the world to them. The people they would die for. They’re not trusting Prospects with that job. They’re trusting you. I think you need to get off your high horses and start waking the hell up. Do I think that they need to make that clear to you? Yes. Do I think that they need to apologize for taking advantage of you when it suits them? Yes. Do I think that they need to remember you’re highly trained, highly skilled, lethal weapons in your own rights? Fuck yes. But you need to meet them halfway and remember that when you are here, you are an Old Lady, and you are one of those people they would die for. When you’re with us, you can freely be the badasses you are. But you can’t be pissed they treat you both ways when that’s exactly what you signed up for with them.”
“He has a point,” Taz agreed softly. “And really, do you want to be badasses all the time?” He looked at the twins. “You two have your whole lives ahead of you to be badasses, and let’s face it, you had a lot of your childhood stolen from you. Now is the time for you to be enjoying your life before you have to truly become adults. And that includes learning to forgive someone when they fuck up. Especially someone in an intense situation where he thought someone he was supposed to be protecting was going to die.” Wren winced and looked away guiltily. Then Taz looked at Saylor. “And you, you’re at the point where you need to decide what the hell you’ll do. You don’t strike me as the kind to throw in the towel when shit gets tough. Jax is a good man, and if you give him a chance to show you that, he will; but unless you’re willing to give it your all, then it might be best for you to keep on going. That includes accepting that sometimes, things are not going to go the way you want them, but you might find that you don’t hate it completely. And if things really don’t turn out the way you hoped, then you have the option to leave.”
They stood silent, each of them weighing their words. Finally, Saylor sighed and said, “I hear what you’re saying, and the point you’re making. I need to think about whether this life is what I want for myself, or even if putting myself into it is worth the risk. I’ve been here two days, and in those two days, I’ve found a man who makes me want things I’ve never had before. I’ve had people try to kill me multiple times, and I’m realizing I might not want to go home, when that’s been my plan all along.”
“Just think of the stories you’ll tell your grandchildren one day,” Taz joked. “Though, make sure to put me in an extra sexy light.” He gave her a saucy wink, and she just rolled her eyes, even as her lips twitched.
Wren sighed. “I’ll apologize to Tom for yelling at him,” she said. “I shouldn’t have taken what he said to heart. And I know I shouldn’t have put myself in that kind of danger, but I don’t regret it. I never will, so I won’t apologize for saving him.”
“As you shouldn’t,” Karissa agreed. “And I suppose you’re right that we need to remember we can’t change things as fast as we want, if at all. I’m not happy about it, but I also know that I don’t want to leave Razor. I need to figure out how I’m going to make the two worlds co-exist so that I can live in both without resentment bubbling up.”
Glitch nodded. “Me too. I am struggling. I love Code, but I’m not used to taking a backseat. And it pisses me off when I’m left out of things that I need to know. We need to talk to Savage and find a way for us to be included that he can live with when he wants our help, because I don’t know I can keep doing what we’re doing. Going from being a valued, respected part of a team to being just a woman…it’s not easy for me. Not when I know I can help.”
“I don’t know what I need to do or apologize for, but I’ll say that I will,” Win joked. “Well, I guess I could apologize to Tom for threatening him if he hurt Wren again.”
Wren looked at her in surprise. “You threatened him?”
Win shrugged. “He hurt your feelings, and I don’t take kindly to that. But I probably should have stayed out of it. Or at least said it when Rogue wasn’t there to hear.” She winced. “Yeah, he wasn’t very happy. We’re going to have to talk to him too, and I don’t want to really do that right now.”
“Scarlett won’t let that happen until you’re ready,” Karissa assured her. Then she looked at Saylor. “I know that all of this probably hasn’t helped you make your decision, but if it’s worth anything, we’d like for you to stick around. We need more strong women around to keep the men in line, even if it’s not in obvious ways. I also think that Jax needs you. He’s always been the jokester, someone who loves to have a good time. You seem to ground him, and he watches you like you’re a goddess come to life.”
“I like him, but I don’t know if we’re a good fit. We have a lot to figure out. I don’t think I can live in the clubhouse, which means I’ll have to get a place in town here. Plus, I still have things at home to deal with. It’s not as simple as jumping in head first.”
“Why not?” Karissa asked, arching a brow. “That’s what Esme did with Fury. They knew each other for all of three days before they were living together and building their little family. I think when you know what you want, you should take it.”
“Is that what you thought that night you climbed into bed with me?” Taz asked her with a wicked grin. “You wanted my cock so badly after getting a look at it that you just couldn’t stay away? Xena, I’m not sure if I should be appalled or excited.”
Karissa levelled him with a bland look, even as Saylor’s mouth dropped open. Wren and Win both gagged. “The fact that you’re still alive astounds me,” she told him. “The only thing I was thinking that night was I didn’t realize they could make them that small. And stop talking about your dick in front of them.” She jerked her thumb at the scowling twins.
Taz winced. “Shit. Don’t tell your parents I said that,” he ordered.
“Idiot,”Ursa growled. Suddenly his phone rang, and he put it to his ear. He listened for a moment, then replied, “On it.” He hung up and said, “This little meeting is going to have to continue back at the clubhouse. Apparently, your third man showed up, and we have two hours before he’s back. Church has been called. That includes you three,” he said, pointing his finger at Saylor, Karissa, and Glitch. He looked at the twins, “Which means you two are going to stay put in the clubhouse until we figure shit out. Got it?”
Both girls nodded. They started heading back toward the clubhouse. Saylor couldn’t help but laugh when she heard one of the girls say, “You know, I think Daddy Bear here would make a great backup if shit goes south between Rogue and Scarlett. He’s tough while also being fair. And he’s a lot less growly.”
The other replied, “You have a point. But I still have Viking Daddy in the running as the top option. Mostly because he’s tall enough to help me reach things off the top of the fridge without having to climb it all the time and listen to Rogue laugh at me.”
Saylor glanced at Ursa, who was smirking, and Taz, who was grinning like an idiot. Karissa and Glitch shared an amused look. Apparently, this was a common discussion, since none of them appeared surprised.
When they got back to the clubhouse, Saylor instantly felt the tension in the common room where everyone was milling around. Her gaze went to Jax, who was quietly talking to Razor and Code in the corner. He didn’t seem to notice her arrival, so she took the opportunity to watch him for a moment.
Could she give up her whole life for him? Especially after only a couple of days? It wasn’t normal, right? Sure, there were examples of it working out right here, but that didn’t mean that she and Jax would fit that narrative themselves. This whole place was so male-dominated that, while she understood Ursa’s points, she wasn’t sure if she could live them herself. She was used to having her opinion matter. Not to mention, she had practically no belongings here. Everything was back home in her apartment. And, she had clients to answer to as well. She’d probably lose some of them, but she supposed she could gain new ones to make up for it. Damn, this whole thing was a mess, and not one she could make a decision on right now. Once this was all over, she would need some time to sit and process it.
“Church!” someone bellowed. The twins headed for the stairs, where Scarlett and Rogue were waiting. She saw Scarlett hug them both tight. Rogue looked awkward as hell, but both girls turned to him to give him a tight hug, and he seemed to relax. Maybe not everything was quite right in their world, but it would get there. She turned back and saw that Karissa and Glitch were heading for Church, their expressions carefully blank. But they didn’t pull away when their men came up to them and pulled them in tight.
Jax stopped just outside the Church room and held out his hand to her, waiting. Saylor looked at it, then him, and decided she needed to focus on the here and now, and not what would happen afterward.
She just hoped she didn’t make the wrong decision.