Chapter 55
She was floating. Feeling nothing, hearing nothing, seeing nothing.
Further and further she seemed to rise. No end and no beginning. She tried to open her mouth, but no sound would come. Tried to wiggle her fingers, but couldn’t move her body.
Then, a bright light.
With a gasp, Ava opened her eyes.
Pushing herself to sit, she groaned. There was nothing around her. Everything was just…white.
She was alone.
An ethereal mist glimmered as it swirled around her, warm and pleasant. Beautiful. She couldn't help but smile as she reached out, letting it flow between her fingers.
Where am I?
Ava stood, spinning around. Searching. “Hello?” she called into the void.
Nothing.
She began to walk. The radiant vapors continued to wind around her.
What happened? One moment she was closing the portal and the next, she was…oh god. It all came flooding back. Luna whimpering, Casimir holding her, begging her not to leave. And then everything had just…disappeared.
There was no pain. Her ribs didn’t ache where Lomos had broken them. Her body wasn’t sore. But there was something hollow in her chest. She placed a hand on her heart and breathed in.
“I don’t understand…Am I dead?” she whispered to herself, staring at her hands as if they would give her the answers.
“Yes.”
Her heart froze at the familiar voice. Ava searched the fog until she found the source. A sob broke from her lips.
“Mom.” She rushed forward.
Her mother’s arms wrapped around her in a warm embrace, pulling her tight, and Ava was a little girl again. A terrified little girl who needed her mother. Who craved the comfort, the security, the reassurance. She couldn’t even speak through her weeping, letting the tears fall onto her shoulder.
As her mother held her close, Ava was assaulted with memories.
When she scraped her knee outside their house and her mother sang to her as she cared for it.
The time her mother waved her hand and brought a sunflower back to life on her grandfather’s farm.
Baking cookies and ending up in a flour fight in the kitchen.
The day her mother taught her how to make her favorite meal—ravioli.
When she sobbed in her mother’s arms after her first heartbreak as a teenager.
Christmas at the farm, the kitchen decorated with garlands and glitter.
Her mother’s proud face in the crowd when she graduated from high school, then college, then graduate school.
The day she held her mother’s hand in the hospital as she took her last breath. The day her heart broke in two.
Her mother began to sing softly. The song she always sang to Ava when she was scared. The song Ava had sung to Luna when she first met her.
“Hush now, little bird.
Don’t be afraid.
All your fears,
Let me unlade.
You’re safe with me,
Don’t you cry.
While I sing to you,
Our lullaby.”
Ava pulled away, lip quivering. “I miss you. I miss you so much…”
Her mother smiled at her with pride, wiping the tears from Ava’s face. “I know. But I am so incredibly proud of you. I knew you’d be able to do it. My sweet, strong, little bird.”
“Did you know? Did you know who he truly was? About the rest of it?”
Her mother shook her head. “No. I found out when you did. I’ve been watching you.”
“You have?” Ava whimpered.
“Yes, my dear. I’m always watching you. We all are.”
“What do you mean ‘we’?”
Ava’s mother extended her arm, gesturing behind her. More people appeared. People who’d been lost or killed in the war. People Ava recognized. Zeph walked forward, her blue hair bright against the white mist. Ava let go of her mother and approached her former guard, pulling her into a hug.
“I’m sorry,” Ava whispered, thinking back to the day she held Zeph’s hand as she died. When Pax broke down over her body. “I’m so so sorry.”
Zeph shook her head, pulling back. “Don’t be. I knew what I was signing up for when I joined the trip. I’m so proud of you. I remember the first day you arrived and hobbled to the suite, glaring at Casimir’s back as if you could set fire to him with your eyes.”
Ava laughed through her tears, holding Zeph’s hands in hers. “Pax misses you. It almost broke him.”
“I know. But he’s strong. He’ll be alright.”
Another person stepped forward. Aelerion. Her heart stopped.
The boisterous king grinned at her, his yellow eyes bright. Ava walked toward him and clutched his hands. “Oh Aelerion,” she whispered. “I tried to get to you…I couldn’t stop it…”
“I know. There was nothing to be done. Death happens in the throes of battle. All of us were prepared for it. I’m sad Thalia will be without me, but she’ll be just fine.”
Ava nodded again, unable to stop her tears.
“It’s too bad I won’t be around to put Orion in his place. I’d like to see that bastard knocked down a peg or two.”
Ava couldn’t help her smile.
“Ava! Princess Ava!” A scratchy voice yelled. Ava whirled around.
At the sight of her hobgoblin friend, she collapsed again, her vision so blurry she could hardly see him. He ran forward, throwing himself into her arms. Unable to control her weeping, she held him tight.
“Remy…oh god, Remy. I’m sorry. I didn’t save you. I tried…I couldn’t…”
He pulled away and placed a green hand on her face, his giant eyes wet with his own tears. “But I’m here now. With my parents. Yes yes yes. It’s okay. Everything’s okay.”
“But what about your brothers?”
“They’re sad. But they’ll see me again someday.”
Ava started crying again. “I’ve missed you…”
Ava could hardly fathom the thought of what Casimir and the others must be feeling. Didn’t want to acknowledge it. But at least she would be with some of her loved ones. And she tried to take solace in that…though her heart broke just the same.
“I’ve missed you too, my friend. I surely have. But you’re not supposed to be here. Nope nope nope.”
“What? What do you mean?”
Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder. “Not much longer now.”
“I don’t understand…” Ava frowned.
“Look.” Remy pointed in the distance.
The mist opened, revealing a scene below. As if she was watching from the boughs of the trees. Casimir held Ava’s limp form, clutching her close to his chest as he wailed into her hair.
“Oh, Cas…” she whispered, her heart breaking at the sight of his grief.
Raine knelt beside him, holding Ava’s hand to his chest, his face a picture of devastation. Her brother knelt on the ground, head in his hands, shoulders shaking as Quinn tried to console him.
Jorrar and Kai clutched each other with quiet sobs. Pax stared up at the sky, numb. Even Imsel’s face was crumpled with sorrow.
Animal companions paced and whined.
Everyone was there. A crowd of fae, some kneeling, some heads bowed. All of them grieving.
So many people, watching.
“What’s happening?” Ava whispered.
Jareth stood behind Casimir, saying something Ava couldn’t hear.
Casimir spoke back. Jareth cut his palm, and handed the dagger to Casimir.
Gently, Casimir laid Ava’s body on the ground as Raine scooted back, still on his knees.
Maeryn stepped close and he immediately buried his face in her stomach, his shoulders shaking as she held him tight, her own eyes glistening.
Jareth knelt. Casimir sliced his own palm, then grasped the astral prince’s hand.
A moment later, the brothers began to glow.
Casimir placed his other hand on Ava’s chest.
The light around them grew brighter. So bright the crowd had to shield their eyes. It extended to her body on the ground before the scene disappeared.
A tingle began in her chest. A pull. And those golden threads reappeared…she could see them before her. She gasped, reaching out, trying to touch them. Her hand glowed, the light moving up her arm. Seconds later her entire body illuminated the fog around her.
She could feel them. Could feel him. Casimir pouring his magic into her, Jareth pushing his own through him to help. It called to her.
Come home. Come home, princess. This is where you belong.
A smooth hand clasped hers. A small rough hand clasped her other.
“It’s time,” her mother said.
“Yes yes yes,” Remy said from her left, smiling up at her. “It’s time.”
“Ava?” Ava met eyes with her mother.
“Yes?”
“I want you to give a message to your brother. I’ll tell you on the way.”
Then they walked forward into nothing.