Chapter 18
Agent Murphy
“Please help yourself” was probably the scariest sentence a diplomat could ever hear in a foreign land.
The second was “I have a daughter.”
Everyone seemed proud of their ability to feed the outsiders, so I wasn’t surprised when basic introductions were quick and we were led over to a buffet table that I could’ve seen at countless meetings and conferences.
It was nice to see that some things didn’t change no matter where I ended up, but it was another of those things that was just odd.
Thankfully, I had Klynn who wouldn’t leave me confused or looking stupid and took control. “We have several forms of semi-flightless birds who have been domesticated. I think the darker yellow eggs would be closest to the chicken eggs that your people consume for breakfast.”
As I nodded and reached for the serving spoon, one that thankfully didn’t seem magical in any way, Klynn turned to the history geeks that were pretending they weren’t studying me while studying me.
Nothing would be as awkward as the doctors, though, so I was grateful these guys just wanted to talk about the history of our planets.
“As most of you understand, Earth is divided up into nation states and each of those has a variety of regions. The regions themselves can also be broken down and may eat different foods for breakfast.” Klynn’s tone was professional but I had a feeling he was thinking about all the books he’d read.
“There are some cultures that consume nothing but sweets and the stimulant coffee, and others where tea and rice-based dishes are normal.”
As I shifted to psyching myself up for the odd-looking bacon type product next to the eggs, Klynn paused and studied the men studying us. “There is a subsection of historians who study food from different cultures and how eating has changed on Earth.”
I saw them all go still out of the corner of my eye but didn’t remark on it as I took a roll that was thankfully familiar. I was a bit tired of being an interesting bug, so I turned to Klynn. “What would you like? I’m sure they’ll have more questions for us when we’re all sitting down.”
Because there was too much food for just me.
Yes.
A bit of social prompting finally got everyone moving and conversations sprang up more naturally around us. There was a mix of English and the local language coming from the different groups, but it seemed most people were practicing their English which was helpful for me.
Eavesdropping only worked when everyone spoke a similar language.
There was nothing that caught my attention for negative reasons, though. Most were actually talking about work topics and the few who’d strayed into more interesting territory were trying to figure out if they should include kink-related topics in the Earth history notes they were compiling.
I wasn’t going to volunteer my thoughts on that one but I could help in a variety of other ways as long as they stuck with broad subjects.
I was not a history major, much less a history expert.
“Would it be polite to ask for experts in specific fields going forward?” One tall man who looked like he frowned all the time was trying to be subtle, but unfortunately the room got quiet right as he asked the question.
So I took a chance and moved to sit next to him at the long table across from where the buffet was set up. “May I join you?”
Klynn seemed like he wanted to smile but he was being a good local and keeping a blank expression for the most part.
The three men who’d been talking went very still before a shorter man with shockingly blond hair practiced nodding. “Yes. We would enjoy that.”
Someone had been working on their Earthling moves.
“Thank you.” I wasn’t sure if I should draw attention to that or not, but luckily for me, I didn’t have to figure it out.
“How are you doing that so naturally?” A younger man who seemed to be the baby of the group jerked his head but he looked a bit like he was at a heavy metal concert. “I think I may be injuring myself. This is dangerous.”
He was going to drive some Dom to distraction but I did my best to keep that expression off my face as Klynn settled down on the other side of me. “Good morning. The motion is slower and more like the movement of the—”
Oh, I missed that word completely and I couldn’t even begin to sound it out. It seemed to be in reference to some kind of animal based on the context but I knew I was going to have to ask Klynn to clarify it later.
Maybe with a picture book?
Little Klynn would like that and they had to have some kids’ books.
Right?
“Gentleman, this is Klynn who is helping me get used to things on this side of the gate.” That seemed true enough not to be lying and even got a faint nod from Klynn. “I’m sorry. If you could introduce yourselves one more time?”
I was good with names but not that fast or all at once.
As they went around and introduced themselves in more detail, chairs around us started inching closer until it got to the point where I was glad I wasn’t claustrophobic…and that Lorne wasn’t around to explain that humans were crunchy.
Klynn didn’t react negatively either, so I just continued to steal bites of my breakfast as we started to talk. “For the first trip here, I know the people we brought seem random but I promise there was logic to it.”
I couldn’t tell what he did but something about the way Klynn moved seemed to be funny to everyone else.
He and I were going to have a talk about that later.
“Mated pairs together or single adults only. Not knowing how long the gate will stay open made a lot of people uncomfortable.” It seemed like they hadn’t thought about how dangerous it would feel to the people of Earth.
“Many people were curious and wanted to come but had responsibilities on Earth.”
Like regular jobs and kids.
“Dragons and mages on Earth also seem to be drawn to creative careers or own a small business. There aren’t many who’ve gone into more specialized fields like studying space or ancient history.” I knew because I’d spent days desperately looking for good options.
There hadn’t been any.
There were weird options or mages who seemed to be nearly a thousand with a startlingly young wife or mate, but none that would be good fits to take through the portal.
“I wonder if that is from an environmental factor or something in the family bloodlines?” Varrick, the guy who’d perfected the nod, did his best to look thoughtful for me. “We’ve seen how much environment can affect us.”
Was he talking about the separation or other parts of their history?
“It may be a combination of both.” How had I been the one to get invited to the history of mages and dragons lecture?
Was I really the person they thought could answer their questions most clearly?
“Wren of Earth said you may have additional information as an outsider who understands their culture.” Varrick paused, then went to the trouble of trying to smile to get what he wanted.
Information.
For fuck’s sake.
That brat had thrown me under the bus…probably because he hadn’t wanted to do the meeting.
Not that I blamed him.
“What are your opinions on my bringing a human who understands about mages and dragons or someone else from Earth who isn’t human who can answer questions in more detail?” It’d been the only option we’d been able to come up with at work.
I had a couple of Earth magic users that would probably work and even a Bigfoot that was into ancient history. His file said he was probably too nice to survive dealing with the dragons and mages on a regular basis, though.
Finding smart people who were tough enough to survive the chaos of toilet and kink questions wasn’t as easy as the government had hoped.
“Another human?”
“Someone from Earth that isn’t human?”
“Those really exist?”
“That wasn’t just a problem with the language transfer.”
“We may owe—”
I missed who they seemed to owe an apology to in all the whispered explosions but there was just too much going on as they all spoke at the same time.
When it just kept going, I leaned toward Klynn with an expectant look on my face that seemed to make him want to laugh.
His casual shrug had me reminding myself that we were at work, but I paid attention and did my best to look professional as he answered my unasked question.
“Our genetic history is not clear. There are many thoughts and opinions about where we developed and what Earth was like. Several smaller factions claimed Earth must have other magic users but a larger portion of our academic leaders thought we were the only magic users on either planet.”
Ah.
Should I not have let that cat out of the bag?
Between the portal opening up and more people going through from both sides, they were going to learn about everyone else. The local dragons and mages on Earth weren’t subtle enough to ignore forever and eventually even they were going to notice some of their neighbors weren’t strictly human.
“Do I need to apologize for…anything?” Shocking them? Pissing everyone off? Fucking with their textbooks?
Klynn gave me the tiniest grin, thoroughly enjoying himself if I was reading him right. “They will recover…eventually.”
Smart-ass.
I loved it.
“We’ll be patient.” At the very least, it gave me time to eat breakfast which was surprisingly good even though the bacon was a bit odd. But it was more like European bacon versus the US odd and not like I was on another planet probably eating some kind of semi-domesticated dinosaur.