Chapter 13
13
M addie ran until her lungs burned, her muscles screamed for mercy and sweat poured off of her like rain. When she finally collapsed on a tree stump that seemed to be calling out to her, she could barely breathe. She’d foolishly left without water and silently cursed her stubbornness. She was just so damn mad at Garrett. Or whatever his name was. Had he lied about that too, even though he’d sworn it was? Replaying their fight in her mind got her mad all over again. What was wrong with him? Could he actually be a murderer or rapist, something that as much as she cared for and believed in him, she couldn’t sweep under the rug? It didn’t feel that way; her gut told her he wasn’t that kind of man. He wasn’t capable of that kind of violence. Something unethical, maybe—but he had to have done it for a reason. Not knowing was driving her crazy. Not because she didn’t trust him but because she wanted to help. Why wouldn’t he let her ?
On impulse, she pulled out her phone. She stared at it a long time before pressing the button for the first number on her speed dial. Jamie .
“Maddie?” His sleepy voice startled her. “You okay ?”
“I’m fine, I just—shit! You worked late at the club last night and I woke you. I’m sorry .”
“What’s wrong?” He was whispering, probably so he wouldn’t wake up his husband, Viggo .
“I met a guy and…” She blurted out the whole story, including being shot at. “I need to know who he is and what he did but I don’t know how to figure it out .”
“How can I help ?”
“He said when I leave, I’m definitely going to find out about it, so that means he’s some kind of celebrity .”
“Or a hockey player, if you mentioned my name .”
She cringed just thinking about it. “He swore to me his real first name is Garrett. Can you dig around online and see if you can find a celebrity or athlete in a recent scandal named Garrett ?”
Jamie hesitated for what seemed like a long time .
“Jamie?”
“I’ll try,” he said quietly. “What else can you tell me about him ?”
“He’s big, about 6’4”, 225, has a mohawk, lots of tattoos. He’s originally from Los Angeles but I don’t know where he lives now .”
“Ottawa.” Jamie sounded… sad ?
“What?”
“He lives in Ottawa. His name is Garrett Hawkins—also known as my former friend and teammate, Hawk .”
“Oh my God.” She was floored, her mouth falling open. “He never said a word .”
“Yeah, he wouldn’t. Not with what’s going on .”
“Does it have something to do with you ?”
“Not specifically, but yeah .”
“Jamie? Tell me .”
He sighed. “You’re already falling in love with him, aren’t you ?”
Tears were puddling in her eyes and she swiped at them angrily. “Just tell me !”
“Answer the question .”
“Yes, dammit! And he loves me too. I know it’s stupid, I know it’s been like 20 minutes and we’re acting like romantic idiots, but I knew the minute he threw me down to protect me from those gangbangers. It’s real, it is!” She was crying in earnest now .
“Then you need to talk to him. Find out his side of the story. If I tell you the public version, it’s ugly .”
“So you’re not going to tell me either ?”
“I…” He took a breath. “Hawk—Garrett—was my friend. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt because you care for him. No matter which one of us tells you, it’s going to be up to you to decide if you can live with it and if it’s something that will change how you feel. I believe it should come from him .”
“Are you mad at him ?”
“I’m disappointed in him, but not really mad. We all say and do things in the heat of the moment on the ice. My friend Dom hit a guy so hard he broke his neck sliding into the boards—Dom didn’t mean it and he’s spent every day since making sure not to lose his temper on the ice ever again. People make mistakes, but I don’t know what’s in Hawk’s heart. We weren’t that close .”
“You’re my big brother—there’s no one I trust more than you. Please tell me what to do .”
“You’re a grown woman, hon. I can’t, especially in matters of the heart .”
“Tell me what you think I should do, dammit!” she cried in frustration. “I’m all alone with this guy, living some modern-day romantic fairy tale and I’m terrified I’m going to find out he cut someone’s head off and hid it in the locker room .”
“If I thought he was dangerous, or would actually hurt you, I’d already be on my way to Hawaii .”
She was the one who sighed this time. “So you still trust him with me in spite of what he did .”
“I trust him not to physically harm you. I don’t think that’s who he is, and to be honest, I never expected this from him. I was shocked when I heard what he’d done because he was one of the few guys I spent a little time with while I was in Ottawa and he seemed like good people—the kind of guy I’d let my sister date .”
“None of this makes any sense .”
“Go back to the resort and talk to him,” he said gently. “Apparently he hasn’t even made a statement. The league handed down the suspension and he disappeared .”
“You’re not helping .”
“The thing is, if you’re in love with him, it’s too late. No matter what I say, you’re already invested. Your head will listen to reason but your heart won’t. If I tell you to dump him and walk away, you’ll always wonder—and maybe even blame me for ruining this for you. It has to be your decision. And like I said, it surprised me, so maybe something else is going on… A new medication? A death in his family? Something to make him do something he wouldn’t normally do. I’m not making excuses, I just want you to do what you have to do so you’re okay with whatever decision you make. Trust me—walking away from someone when you know that person is part of you, your other half, is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. I don’t wish it on anyone .”
“I love you, Jamie .”
“I love you too, sweetie. Call me, okay? I don’t care what time it is, I need to know you’re okay. I still have his number in my phone—if I don’t hear from you in a couple of hours I’ll call him myself .”
“Don’t worry, he won’t hurt me, not like that. Talk to you later.” She disconnected and sat there a while longer, letting the ocean breeze cool her a little. Jamie knew what Garrett had done and hadn’t told her to go running for cover; that meant something. Now she was going to find out what .
T he front door to the guest house was locked and Maddie let herself in while calling to Garrett. There was no response and she looked around in surprise. Everything was very quiet and very clean. Her dress was no longer on the floor in the living room and his swim trunks weren’t on the back of one of the chaise lounges on the patio either. She hurried to his room and it was completely empty. His suitcase and backpack were gone, there were no toiletries in the bathroom and the bed was even made. He left ?!
Her heart slamming in her chest, she ran to her room and there on the bed was an envelope with her name on it. She ripped it open, sinking onto the bed as she read .
Hi beautiful ,
I know you’re mad at me and I’m so, so sorry. I never should have let things go so far but I couldn’t help it—I am 100% yours and for as long as you still want me, you’re 100% mine. My situation is the worst kind of cluster… I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. If I defend myself, I’ll lose my career, my salary, everything. If I don’t, there’s a 50-50 chance this will all blow over, and that’s what I’m hanging on to. People get past most scandals professionally, and I have to think about my future. Maybe even OUR future. What good am I if I can’t take care of you? You don’t want to be with some grease monkey, living paycheck to paycheck. I want more for you. More for my future baby mechanics…if you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me .
You’re going to hear ugly things about me and I can’t stand to think about how it’s going to disappoint you. Please know that not everything is black-and-white. Someday, I hope I’ll have the chance to tell you my side of the story .
The room and anything you need at the resort is paid for. I’ve arranged for a car to take you to the airport the day after tomorrow. The concierge has all the details. If something comes up, ask for Jim Roarke and he’ll help you .
Just for the record, last night was a hell of a lot more than romantic nonsense; I have the mark on my shoulder to prove it .
Always,
Garrett
P.S. My real name is Garrett “Hawk” Hawkins, #90, left wing for the Ottawa Generals .