Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
MEREDITH
James is in the front, standing behind Holly’s casket. While I was shaking hands and giving hugs, he and his assistant swapped out the coffins. The flowers remain the same—a detail Calder probably doesn’t care about. Several of the attendees stayed, easing only part of my anxiety.
I suck in a steadying breath. It’ll be okay. I can get through this.
If Holly was standing next to me right now, she’d take my hand in hers and whisper that we’d go to Williston and get ice cream later. “A little sweetness for the sadness,” she used to say when I was upset about something.
Duncan catches me for a quick hug. He’s as tall as Calder, and as strong, but I’m glad he lets me go immediately. “I’m sorry, Meredith.”
Finn embraces me next. He’s in his brown deputy uniform. “Your sister was a sweetheart. She will be missed.”
I really needed to hear that. She could’ve ditched me anytime and lived her life free of a kid sister, but she took on more of a mother role instead. Her loss leaves a giant hole behind.
“Thank you, and thank you both for coming. It means a lot.”
My feet drag heavily on my way to the front pew. I’m almost to my seat when Tanner rises. Concern lines his face.
“Hey, Mer. How are you?”
Surprise flits through me, cooling off the heat from being outside. His presence only makes me uncomfortable and shows me how Calder devastated every past experience in bed last night. Except I shouldn’t be thinking about the explosive climax that stopped my heart for a good ten seconds right now.
“Oh, you know.” I give him a tight smile. “As well as can be.”
He pulls me in for a quick hug, thankfully not clinging for long. “You didn’t text me the other night, but you made it back safe? With that guy?”
“Yes, I was just fine with Calder. Perfectly safe.” Among other things. I table my annoyance with Tanner. He carved time out to pay his respects. “Thanks for coming. I appreciate it.”
I don’t bother to see how he reacts as I continue down the aisle. Ben flashes me an understanding smile. I’m bolstered to see him. He didn’t know Holly well, but he and Declan stayed to support me.
The seating arrangements changed while I was in the receiving line.
Bea is next to Esme and Carlos. Molly and Brenner didn’t really know Holly, so they’re gone, leaving Sawyer and me alone in our pew.
She takes the outside this time while James checks in with me to make sure everything’s going okay.
No. It’s not. I woke up alone this morning, and that burned.
A stark reminder that what Calder gave me last night was a release and nothing more.
Even with Sawyer right next to me, I feel even more alone.
I squeeze my eyes shut. If one tear falls, I won’t be able to stop.
This may be a funeral, but I don’t want to sob in front of anyone.
A cedar-and-citrus cloud surrounds me. My hands are engulfed in a big, warm grip that can do wicked things in the dark—and probably in the blazing light too. My eyelids flutter open just as Sawyer stiffens on my other side.
“What in the world?” she says under her breath.
Calder’s next to me, and it’s not just him. A disgruntled Bowen sits next to him, and a stoic Landry is at the end.
All three of them?
As if reading my mind, Calder dips his head so his mouth is close to my ear. “Can’t have the grapevine die out.”
This will make it blaze.
Bowen glances over, and there’s real compassion swimming in his eyes. “I really am sorry for your loss.”
Shocked, I don’t have a response. Since his reaction to me and Calder at the brewery, he hasn’t talked to me. His condolences are unexpected.
Landry’s gaze runs over his brother then jumps to me. He’s a cold man, but deep in his eyes is an old pain that mirrors what’s going through me. “We all know how much this sucks. I’m sorry.”
“It really does suck.” My brows have to be in my hairline. Like Calder, they don’t want to like me, but they understand all too well how hard today is. “Thank you.” I can barely get the words out. Emotions bang in my brain for release, but my walls hold firm—just today.
I have to get through today, and now Calder is here, I just might be okay.