Chapter 30
thirty
Trouble
I should’ve known the universe wouldn’t let me have one quiet moment with her. Not after the naughty things we just did under this pergola. So when I hear a low voice bark, “Sawyer?” I already know I’m about to die.
And not by a bull like I always thought.
By brother.
Sawyer freezes against my chest, barely breathing. Her eyes are wide and colorless in the darkness—not their normal blue, but the same blue that reminds me of my granddaddy's favorite pick-up truck. She digs her fingers into my bicep, panicking.
The footsteps get closer. I can see a flicker of the moonlight through the slats of the pergola. We’re exposed, really—one bad angle and he’d see us together. Sawyer’s shirt is halfway up, my belt is hangin’ loose. Her heart is beatin’ off the rails. I feel it through my ribs, out of control.
“Sawyer!” I hear him hiss her name again.
She bites my shoulder, hard. I don’t react. Instead, I shift to clamp her mouth with my palm—her lips are soft and hot. She licks my hand just to be an asshole, and I whisper, “You want him to find us like this?”
She grins. “He’ll kill you,” she mouths.
“I’ll take my chances.”
“Not funny.” She untangles herself quietly, fixes her bra, and adjusts her shirt. I adjust myself and zip up, but not before she slaps my wrist as I work my belt—too loud, she warns.
The footsteps pass. He grumbles something about her always wandering off, and then I watch him fade down the path. Maybe I should feel more guilty than I do. But I don’t right now. Being with her makes me feel alive, free, like me.
When he’s gone, Sawyer drops her face into her hands. “We have got to be more careful.”
I lean against the post, arms crossed. “You’re the one who followed me out here.”
She huffs, still smoothing her hair, her hands just barely shaking. “Yeah, well—you had the backwards hat on. Did the whole sexy, mysterious thing. Not my fault.”
I grin, softer this time. I like her like this—flustered and honest. “So, you’re sayin’ I’m sexy?”
Her cheeks flush, but her voice stays sharp. “I’m saying if he catches us, we’re both dead.”
I push off the post, step closer, my voice low. “Worth it.”
She meets my eyes, and this time she doesn’t look away. “You know what happens if we get caught.”
“Then maybe we quit sneakin’ around,” I say before I think better of it.
Sawyer looks at me like I just spoke a foreign language. “You say that like you’re actually capable of commitment.”
“Maybe I am. Maybe you’re changin’ that for me.”
She takes a step back. “You expect me to believe that? Have you ever even had a girlfriend? Been committed to anyone?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Why is that?” she presses.
“Because I never wanted one. Commitment’s never been my thing.”
“Then help me understand,” she says, her voice softer now. “Why has commitment been so hard for you? Did some small-town beauty queen break your heart or something?”
My jaw tightens. “That what you think this is? That I never wanted to be with anyone because I got my heart broken?”
“Maybe,” she admits.
“Not even close.”
She chews her lip. “Then what is it?”
I stare at her, dead-level. “I don’t ever wanna be like him.”
Sawyer looks confused, concerned. “Like who?”
“My daddy.” It feels wrong calling him that, even now, but it’s true.
“He was a drunk. He beat my mama. My brothers and I couldn’t fight him off, couldn’t protect her until one day we could.
And by then we were already fucked, too,” I say, rougher than I mean.
“I got the same blood, Sawyer. I know I can’t be with someone, not really.
I can’t risk it. What happens if I have too many drinks one night?
What if I wake up and realize I did something just like him? ”
She looks at me with that look—the one that makes me remember why I don’t tell people this shit. But she doesn’t back off. Instead, she steps right into my space, grabs my hands, and pulls my arms around her.
“I’m sorry your daddy put you through that,” she says.
Her voice is soft but it makes an impact.
“You shouldn’t have had to see what he did to your mama.
But you could never be like him. Do you hear me?
” Her eyes blaze, searching mine. “You’ve got the scars from what you’ve been through, I see them now.
But you’ve got so much more than that—you have strength.
You’ve got heart. You protected me today. That’s who you are.”
Her words hit harder than any punch I’ve ever taken. I hold her tight, arms locked around her like I ain’t ever lettin’ go.
“I ain’t half the man you think I am, Sawyer.”
She shakes her head, stubborn. “No. You’re more.”
I don’t say a word. But I feel it—something splittin’ wide open inside me. And for the first damn time, I wanna believe there’s a possibility that could be true.
After a while, we agree on a plan, and I’m the first one out. They’re all still at the booth—Hazel with her glass of water, Knox halfway through another whiskey, Charming and Rogue probably already a case deep. Nobody looks up. If you act normal, people believe you’re normal.
I slide into the vinyl seat next to Knox, who’s too busy watching a fight on the bar’s corner TV to notice me.
Country music is playin’ through the speakers.
A few minutes later, Sawyer appears. She’s got that look she gets when she’s been crying, except she hasn’t.
Her cheeks are flushed, eyes back to the blue I remember.
She sits next to me because a few new people have joined the group. She’s doin’ her best to act casual.
Knox is the first to notice. “Well, well. I been lookin’ for you,” he says. “Thought you took off.”
Sawyer shrugs. “Work never stops. Was on the phone. Client things,” she says, flicking her hand in a little wave. She holds the phone up as proof.
Charming sits back and puts his arm around some girl I don’t recognize. “You and Trouble were both gone for a while. We were all startin’ to wonder.”
“No idea what Trouble was up to. Probably snuck off to flirt with one of the buckle bunnies.” She says it like a joke, but she’s watching me closely. Waiting to see if I flinch.
"Darlin’, I just tip my hat and they do the rest," I say, and Sawyer’s mouth tightens. Beneath the table, I slide my hand to her thigh, my thumb brushing slow circles against her skin. She doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t even flinch. Just draws in a sharp, quiet breath.
Charming catches the play, probably, but he only grins and flicks his cheek with his tongue.
“You two sure bicker like a married couple,” Hazel says, stirring her water with the straw.
Knox snorts. “No way in hell. Shoulda seen ‘em the first night they met. Thought Sawyer was gonna take his head off.”
“Still might,” Sawyer says, but she’s smiling for real this time.
“So,” Rogue says, finally changing the topic, “you think the Kennedys are actually gonna show up with our shit?”
“They’ll show. They know Danger don’t mess around,” Charming responds.
Knox leans in. “Did I miss something, or…?”
“Yeah,” I say, keeping my voice just above a whisper. “Danger gave ‘em an ultimatum: bring us all our shit, or he'll deal with them himself. So. We’ll see how they play it.”
“Always somethin’ with them,” Knox mutters. He finishes his whiskey in one pull, then stands up and stretches. “Alright. It’s been fun, but I’m gonna call it a night.”
He leaves, and Hazel follows him, pausing just long enough to wave us all goodbye.
Rogue and Charming make their way out, too, each with a new girl clinging to their arms like they’re some rodeo royalty. Rogue doesn’t say a word—just shoots me a grin and flicks me the middle finger. Charming winks for good measure.
And just like that, it’s me and Sawyer. Alone. Again.
“You’re gonna ruin me if you keep looking at me like that,” I say, voice so low I’m not sure she hears.
Sawyer grins, a slow-motion detonation. “You’re already ruined.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
She reaches for my hand.
“Come with me,” she says, sweet and certain.
And hell, if she doesn’t know it yet, I could never say no to her.
She pulls me onto the dance floor, laughing, the kind that dares me to follow her. I grab her hand and spin her, and her blonde hair whips around like a flash of gold under the neon lights. The music swells, loud enough to drown out doubt, soft enough for her laugh to rise over the top.
I lean in, my mouth near her ear. “You’re makin’ it real hard not to kiss you right now.”
She grins, breathless. “Then do it.”
Each smile, each turn, I fall a little more—for a girl just passing through. Someone I was never supposed to want—but I do. In the worst, deepest way.
She moves like the rhythm was made for her, like this night was always meant to be hers. Maybe even like she was meant to be in my arms. And for a moment, I let go of the rules, the warnings, the way I know this ends. I let myself just have this.
She spins, golden and untouchable, and I know—this won’t last. She’s not really mine. The music knows it. Hell, so do I. But I can’t stop reaching for her anyway. And maybe that’s what ruins me—knowing that after this, after her, nothing will ever feel the same again.