29
EMERSYN
I lay on the mattress, my head resting on Gabe’s stomach as I traced circles around his belly button. After the shower, Gabe had carried me to bed and proved his point about how easily aroused I was not just once more, but twice. And now, after spending a day lounging around the apartment, we lay naked, listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windowpanes.
My fingers moved to the trail of lettering tattooed down his side. The letters were in thick calligraphy, the black ink now tinged green.
“Don’t die wondering,” I whispered, adjusting myself to look at him.
“It was Clark’s favorite saying,” Gabe said.
I swallowed a lump at the back of my throat. “You two were close?”
He just nodded. “We were. Although he was one of those goody-two-shoes types. The kind that thought he could save the world. Things got a little strained when he went off to university. He changed. He…” He paused, lost in thought. “I guess it was just time and distance, you know? We sort of grew apart. And then when he died…” He trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence unspoken. “It wasn’t a good time in my life.”
“I’ve never had anyone close to me die. I can’t even imagine what it’s like.” And I didn’t want to imagine what it would have been like for him; it hurt too much.
“I lost myself for a while. It was actually Lauren who helped me gain perspective on it all. Sorry, I don’t mean to keep mentioning her. It’s just—”
“I get it,” I said, resting my chin on his pec. “She was a big part of your life, just like Conrad was in mine. We probably feel the same way.” And it was easier talking about her than Clark.
“Huh, so you want to tear Lauren’s head from her body? I didn’t think that sort of violence was in you.” He flinched, pretending I was about to swat him.
“What about Jake? Are you close to him?” Part of me felt guilty asking these questions about his family, but this time I was asking them for the right reasons. I was asking them because I wanted to know about Gabe’s life and about the relationships within it. I wanted to know what he thought of his family and how they’d treated him. I wanted to be part of it.
“Jake was away for a long time, but yeah, we’re close enough. He’s worked through a lot, mainly thanks to Amelia. She’s been a godsend for him.” Gabe was quiet for a bit before asking, “I’ve got this family thing at our holiday house next weekend. Do you think you’d come with me?”
“Me?” I asked, sitting up.
Gabe chuckled. “Yes, you.”
“Well, you’ve met my parents, so I guess it’s only fair I meet yours.”
“Thanks. Not sure I want to face all of them at once alone. And besides, I want them to get to know you.”
My heart ticked a little faster at the thought. Things were moving quickly between us, but at the same time, it felt like a natural pace. And then the guilt came. The guilt that I still hadn’t told him the truth about everything.
“Gabe, I need to—”
There was a knock at the door. Gabe rolled his eyes. “Hold on a sec.” He got to his feet and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. “If that’s Dante again, I’m going to freakin’ kill him.” He walked to the door, his chest bare, the muscles in his back flexing as he moved. I pulled up the sheet, covering myself just in case whoever it was barged inside.
“Molly?” Gabe said with surprise when he opened the door. “What are you doing here?”
“Hi,” she chirped happily. “I didn’t see you out tonight, so I thought I’d just pop by and see what you were up to.” She sauntered in confidently, not noticing me lying stock still on Gabe’s mattress.
Gabe stood back. “Sure, come in,” he said sarcastically.
I hurriedly looked around for something to wear but only found Gabe’s t-shirt. I quickly pulled it over my head and sat back against the wall, attempting to look relaxed and at ease.
Molly was dressed in low-hanging wide-fit pants, a diamond-shaped top that barely covered her front and left her back completely exposed, and strappy high heels. As usual, she was stunning, if not a little intoxicated, and I wanted to shrink myself and hide under the sheets.
“Actually, I was just planning on having a night in,” Gabe said, running his hand through his hair and giving me a look that clearly said ‘help.’ “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” He threw a wink my way and urgently motioned for me to come over to him. I shook my head, content to stay in the background.
“Actually,” Gabe continued, “we were just about to—”
It was right then that Molly launched herself at him in an almost comical way, throwing her arms over his shoulder and shoving her face close to his, her lips puckered in expectation. An intense ripple of jealousy propelled me from the bed, and I pushed myself between them.
“Hey Mol,” I said, deliberately choosing to shorten her name. I crossed my arms and looked at her pointedly, blocking Gabe from her view. He chuckled.
“Syn? What are you—I mean, why are you…” She glared at Gabe over my shoulder. “Gabe?” she questioned. Then her gaze fell on me, noting I was wearing nothing but his t-shirt. Her eyes focused on my scars, and I resisted the urge to cover them.
“You’ve met my girlfriend before, haven’t you?” Gabe asked.
“Your girlfriend?” She almost choked on the word.
I let my mouth curve into a smug grin as Gabe’s arms circled me from behind. “I mean, it’s new, but yeah, we’re together, aren’t we?” He rested his chin on my shoulder.
“Well, we haven’t exactly had time to label ourselves as anything yet, but why not?”
“So to answer your question, this—” Gabe flourished his hand over my body. “This is what I’m up to tonight. Maybe we can all hang another night?”
Molly’s mouth flapped open and shut a few times. “Her?” she eventually blurted out. “You could have practically anyone you want, and you chose her?”
“Yep,” Gabe said gleefully. “I chose her, and she chose me right back. Lucky, aren’t I?”
“I’m not sure what to say.” Molly shook her head as though the thought of Gabe and me together was too much for her to fathom. “I thought…” She let her words trail off and then looked up at Gabe so pleadingly I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
Gabe untangled himself, shooting me an apologetic look. “We’ve been friends for a while now, Mol, but I hope you understand that’s all we ever were. It’s all we ever will be. I hope nothing I did gave you a different impression.”
Molly’s eyes skipped from Gabe to me and then back to Gabe again. She opened her mouth as if to say something and then shut it again.
“Of course,” she said eventually. “Of course, we’re just friends. I was just surprised as I thought that’s all you two were too.” She flashed a tight smile. “I guess I was wrong.”
“You were,” I said, standing next to Gabe and threading my fingers through his. Gabe squeezed tightly, and I squeezed back.
“I guess I better get going,” Molly muttered, turning toward the door.
“It was nice seeing you,” I called out, my tone laced with sarcasm.
Gabe followed and shut the door behind her. “Well,” he said, walking back to me, “that was awkward.”
My brows shot skyward. “You think?”
“It was nice seeing you,” he mimicked my goodbye. “Liar.”
“You know how I said I wasn’t jealous of Lauren?” I asked, sitting down on the overly bouncy sofa.
Gabe raised a single brow while stalking toward me.
“Well, I’m just warning you that I will act with insane jealousy if you ever even look in Molly’s direction, okay?”
Gabe flopped onto the sofa, resting his head on my lap. “You promise?”
“Don’t test me, Gable Thornton. It won’t be pretty.”
“I think I’d kind of like that. Would you punch her?”
“Punch her, slap her, pull her hair—everything.”
Gabe closed his eyes. “I can picture it now.” I whacked him across the stomach, and he flinched playfully. “You know, I’ve only got eyes for you. I’m not interested in Molly in that way. I never have been.”
“And?” I prompted.
“And what?” He looked confused.
“And you never will,” I finished for him.
“And I never will,” he repeated obediently.
We didn’t get any sleep that night. We talked for hours, him with his head resting on my lap and me running my fingers through his hair. Then we ate some cold leftover pizza. We watched a movie, though it was hard to concentrate on the plot when I had Gabe shirtless and on display by my side. He even tried teaching me to play COD, but after laughing at me dying countless times, he gave up.
It was five in the morning before Gabe finally succumbed and fell asleep. His head was in my lap again, and I just sat there staring at him, the weight of what I needed to confess weighing heavily on me. I brushed his hair back from his face and marveled at the beauty of him. I loved the way his bottom lip sagged so heavily and the way his lashes were so long they brushed the skin under his eyes when they were closed. I loved the length of his hair and the scruff of stubble that covered his jawline.
A cold shudder ran over me at the thought of telling him everything because more than anything in the world, I did not want to lose him.