32
EMERSYN
“Fuck,” Tyler grunted. “I wasn’t expecting that.” Lauren got up from her seat and stood behind him, running her hands over his shoulders and then wrapping him in an embrace. She placed a kiss on the top of his head. “What do you think is wrong?” he asked.
“He said it wasn’t anything serious, so it’s not, right?” Gabe asked.
“Do you honestly think he’d tell us if it was?” Jake replied.
No one answered.
Gabe ran his hands through his hair, resting his elbows on the table as he tugged on the ends. “It’s just strange to think of the old man as fallible, you know?”
Jake snorted. “You notice how he said he wanted to spend more time with Oliver? Never mentioned us, did he?”
“He’s always been one to pit his sons against each other. I guess it’s good to know nothing has changed.” Tyler groaned. “Do you remember how he used to go on about Clark?” All three brothers groaned then. “He was the perfect son. None of us will ever be able to reach such dizzying heights of endearment because we have the audacity to still be alive.”
“As if you had it tough,” Gabe snickered. “You, Jake, and Clark were all so wonderful, and then there was me.”
Jake elbowed him in the ribs. “It wasn’t always that way. I remember this one Christmas when you and Clark were young—too young to ride motorbikes—but that’s what you got.”
“And what did you get?” Amelia asked him.
“Tyler and I got a water gun each that we weren’t even allowed to use.”
“Bullshit,” Gabe said. “I don’t remember any motorbikes.”
“Because you were too fucking young to ride them.” Tyler shook his head. “I honestly think it was because I’d specifically mentioned wanting one, so Hamish thought he’d teach me a lesson by giving one each to the replacements.”
Gabe laughed. “Obviously it was only because I was too young to have pissed him off yet. And did you really call us that? The replacements?”
Jake and Tyler nodded in unison as Tyler chanted, “Replacement wife, replacement sons, replacement family.”
“I guess Billie and Ollie take those titles now.”
“Until the next one,” Jake added grimly.
Amelia’s brows furrowed in horror. “He wouldn’t, would he?”
“Ask my mother,” Tyler said.
“Or mine,” Gabe added.
The brothers reminisced long into the small hours of the morning. They shared story after story about Hamish and the way he’d ignored and neglected them. To me, it was depressing, but the brothers laughed so heartily that tears ran down their faces.
I watched Gabe as he interacted with his brothers, feeling astonished by how hard I’d fallen for him. I was even starting to fall for his fucked-up family. More than anything, I wanted to be his. I wanted to be a part of whatever this family was. I felt at home here. At peace. There was a lightness within me when I was around them . I liked the chaos. I adored the tension and rivalry. I wanted to drown in their drama. I’d lived as part of their lives for so long that it seemed impossible not to become a bigger part—one they actually knew about. And now that I’d set the story aside, maybe there was a chance. Maybe they’d never find out who wrote those articles. Maybe they wouldn’t care. But then again, maybe they would. Dread settled in my stomach once more.
It was Lauren who finally prompted them all to head to bed. “Look at Amelia,” she insisted. “She can barely keep her eyes open.”
Amelia was leaning against Jake’s side, smiling lazily. “But this is so nice,” she said. “All three of you talking like this, bonding over a common hatred of Hamish.”
That brought about another round of laughter, but afterward, they all agreed it was time to head to bed, and we wandered off to our respective rooms.
Gabe threw off his clothes and crawled into bed wearing only his boxers. Usually, I would have curled into his side, or he would have spooned me from behind until we fell asleep, but both of us lay on our backs, neither touching the other, staring at the ceiling.
Instead of thinking about Hamish, I was all twisted up inside with the guilt of everything Gabe didn’t know about me. I stared at the white paint of the ceiling, searching for a crack or blemish, somehow hoping it would distract me from my thoughts. But there were no flaws.
“You okay?” I finally asked.
“Yeah.” Gabe turned and huddled against my side, wrapping his arms around me. His lips brushed my skin as he spoke. “It’s strange to think about, though. It’s never really occurred to me that he’ll die one day. He’s always been this controlling presence in my life. It seems unreal that anything could ever touch someone like him.” He pressed a kiss into my shoulder. “Thank you for being here. I know it’s a lot. I know my family is a lot, and well… just thanks.”
I smiled but didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. The guilt was eating me up, and I was afraid he’d see it in my eyes before I had a chance to voice it.
“What about you? Are you okay?” He jostled me with a gentle shove. “You’ve been so quiet since we got here.”
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“You keep saying that, but it doesn’t seem like you are. Talk to me,” he encouraged.
It didn’t seem like the right time, but if I didn’t tell him then, I doubted I would ever tell him. I took a deep breath.
“That doesn’t sound good,” Gabe teased.
I stared at the ceiling again as I spoke. “I’m not really sure where to start. I haven’t exactly been completely honest with you about—”
I was cut off by a sob.
I turned to face him. “Gabe?”
He pulled himself up and sat against the headboard, his hands covering his face. “Fuck.” He let out a steady stream of air. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would affect me like this,” he said between ragged breaths. “I mean, I’ve hated the man for most of my life, so why is this happening?” Another sob escaped, and then he dissolved into tears. “We don’t even know if anything is actually wrong.”
I got to my knees, crawling over and positioning myself between his legs so I could wrap my arms around him. “It’s okay,” I soothed as he cried into my shoulder. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he wailed. “We’re supposed to be talking about whatever is on your mind, and instead I’m crying like a fucking baby.”
“So you think it might be serious?”
“Billie seemed to think so. But then again, she’s always been dramatic. It’s probably nothing. It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”
I grabbed his face, holding my hands on each cheek. “You are not stupid, Gable Thornton. Your heart is just a little bigger than you thought it was.”
“But I hate the man!”
“Do you, though?” I looked at him intently, staring into his tear-stained blue eyes.
Even while he was crying, he somehow managed to look more gorgeous than ever before. It was as though his tears made the blue of his eyes sparkle even more. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his softly, savoring the salty taste of his tears. It was meant as comfort, a gentle reassurance of my affection, but Gabe returned the kiss with desperation, clinging to me, fingers digging into my shoulder and pulling me into his lap. His mouth was feverish and anguished, clashing with mine as though trying to win some invisible battle. He tore at my clothing until I helped him, pushing my underwear down as he removed his own. Then he gripped my hips, guiding me to sink down onto him. His chin hooked over my shoulder, and his arms wrapped covetously around my sides as he held me tightly, tilting his pelvis and rocking us in a gloriously slow rhythm. I wound my hands into his hair, entangling my fingers in the blond strands. His hips rocked faster as I tugged, pulling at his scalp. Then, in one smooth motion, he lifted me and tossed me onto my back, the mattress bouncing beneath my weight. And then he was on top of me again, pushing deeply inside, his forehead pressed to mine, our eyes so close that the blue blurred. His thrusts grew harder and more aggressive. I couldn’t help but grunt with each repetitive motion.
“Are you okay?” Gabe panted. “Should I slow down?” He paused momentarily.
There was usually something slow and luxurious about the way Gabe made love, like he savored every millisecond of it. But tonight wasn’t like that. Tonight was dark and desperate. I shook my head and pulled him back down so his body was pressed against mine.
“Fuck me harder,” I whispered in his ear, surprised at the eruption of lust that radiated through my body at using words I’d never used before.
Gabe groaned and did exactly as I asked.
I bit the thread of muscle straining over his shoulder, and it was as if the action released something within me. I cried out loudly, calling his name as I writhed with pleasure. My orgasm triggered Gabe's release, and his cock pulsed within me before he collapsed, our bodies hot and slick with sweat.
He fell asleep like that, pressed against me as we lay the wrong way on the mattress. I stroked his hair, kissed the top of his head, and once again stared at the pristine white ceiling that mocked my guilt.
My body was sore when I woke, heavy from the perfect specimen of a man still sleeping on top of me. My left breast was squashed under his weight, and my hip hurt from the strange angle it had held all night. Once again, I was struck by his magnetic appeal. And the fact that this beautiful man wanted me by his side. But would he still want me if he knew the truth? The whole truth?
Gabe stirred and looked up, blinking at me wearily. “Sorry,” he said, grinning slowly. “I didn’t mean to squish you.”
“I didn’t mind,” I replied as he rolled off and sat up, his elbows resting on his knees as he rubbed his eyes.
“And sorry about last night. I’d blame it on the drink, but I didn’t even have that much.” He gave me a grimaced smile, and I reached out to cup his cheek. “I like having you around, you know that?” He twisted his lips to kiss the palm of my hand. “You make me feel…” He took a deep breath, then broke into a panty-melting grin. “You make me feel like I’m lying in sunshine.”
I grabbed him and kissed him aggressively, smacking my lips once I was done. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
I felt too guilty to say anything else.
I should have told him then and there.
I should have, but I didn’t.
Breakfast was a strange affair. Billie prattled on as usual, still trying to convince a rather sullen Jake that she needed him as a model. He listened to her patiently but kept refusing her offer. Amelia teasingly tried to convince him otherwise, but he was resolute.
Gabe sat Ollie on his knee and bounced him up and down as he tore chunks of bagel off with his teeth and gobbled them up, much to Ollie’s amusement. It was nice seeing him with Ollie. He was natural. He kept catching my eye and grinning in a way that was meant only for me.
Tyler and Lauren ate in silence, as did Hamish. He kept looking over his family as though studying them like strangers in an airport. No one talked about yesterday. It was almost as though it had never happened.
Afterward, I was alone in the kitchen washing the dishes when I heard the deep tones of Jake’s voice. Without making myself known, I peeked around the corner and saw Jake sitting on the sofa, little Ollie bouncing on his lap.
“Don’t tell the rest of the family,” he was saying, “but you’re going to have a little niece.” Jake chuckled. “A little niece who will only be a year or so younger than you. I know.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s a strange family you’ve been born into. But it could be worse. You’re loved, little guy, and that’s all that matters. You’re going to grow up with big brothers who will move mountains to make you happy. Fuck—I mean, heck, even your father is giving you more attention than he ever gave any of us. More positive attention, anyway.”
Ollie gurgled back at him, grinning from ear to ear.
“Want to know another secret?” Jake asked.
“Amelia wants to call our baby Dorothy. I’m pretending to hate it, but secretly, I think I like it. Amelia wants to nickname her Dottie. Cute, isn’t it? I bet you two are going to grow up to be good friends. Ollie and Dottie. You’ll look out for her, won’t you? You’ll be there if I can’t make sure she’s safe?”
Lying Ollie on his back, Jake lifted the baby’s shirt and blew a raspberry on his stomach. Ollie chuckled loudly. His tiny hand formed a fist, waving in the air, and his little legs kicked Jake’s chest.
“This isn’t so scary, is it? Being with me? I’m worried about what I’ll be like as a father, but Amelia’s trying to convince me I’ll make a good one.”
Ollie blinked a few times, and his chin began to wobble.
“Yeah, I’m not so sure either, buddy.”
I thought back to watching Jake in the ring. It was such a stark contrast to the man who sat on the sofa with the baby in his arms. This Jake was a gentle giant; the one I saw in the ring was a monster.
“There you are!” Lauren exclaimed from behind, startling me and making my cheeks burn. She’d caught me spying on Jake. She didn’t seem to care, though. “Tyler and Gabe are planning to go golfing this afternoon. Should we join them?”
“Golf?” I laughed and shook my head. “I get the feeling I would be terrible at it and would only give Gabe a chance to laugh at me.”
“Oh, believe me, I know the feeling. That man has an uncanny ability for anything physical.”
My mind immediately went to the night before, and I wondered for a second if she’d intended the double entendre. I had a flash of an image of the two of them together, and for a moment, I wanted to rush over and scratch her eyes out. He was meant for my eyes alone. But it passed quickly. Gabe had a past. I had a past. It didn’t mean anything for our future.
Future.
It was a strange concept. After Conrad, I couldn’t imagine sharing my life with anyone. When I dreamed of things to come, I was always alone. Now, that might have just changed.
“How are things between you two?” Lauren leaned against the kitchen counter and folded her arms.
“Good,” I replied cautiously. I wasn’t sure how much I should share with her or how much Gabe would want me to share. I had no idea where things stood between them now. Were they friends? Did they talk?
“It certainly sounded like it last night.” Lauren’s eyes flicked to mine mischievously before darkening with solemnity. “He likes you, you know,” she said.
She didn’t know I was privy to the full extent of their past. She didn’t know I was the one who wrote the article shedding light on her tryst with the two brothers.
“I know,” I replied, and I couldn’t help the grin that followed.
“Don’t break his heart,” she cautioned playfully, but there was a serious note to her tone and an even more serious warning in her glare.
“I wouldn’t dream of it. It’s already been broken enough.”
Lauren looked at me sharply. She opened her mouth, her expression darkening, but then it faded, and she smiled just as Gabe wrapped his arms around my waist.
“What are you two talking about?” he asked.
“Nothing,” we replied in unison.