Chapter 34 Joelle
JOELLE
I'm standing outside Emmett's apartment door trying to remember how to breathe.
My hand is raised to knock, and has been for thirty seconds.
Maybe longer. This is insane. I should leave.
Text him I changed my mind and go home and pretend none of this ever happened.
But I can't, because despite every logical reason to walk away, I want this.
I want him, and have wanted him since London and I'm so tired of fighting it.
I knock.
The door swings open immediately. Emmett stands there in dark jeans and a gray sweater that makes his eyes look almost silver in the dim light. His hair is damp, like he just got out of the shower. I can smell his soap, something clean and masculine that makes my stomach flip.
"Hey," he says, his voice gravelly.
"Hey."
For a moment, we just stand there, looking at each other, the air between us crackling with everything we haven't said.
"You came," he finally says, looking relieved.
"I did.” My stomach somersaults.
"I wasn't sure you would."
“I wasn’t sure either,” I confess.
He nods, steps back, and invites me in. I walk past him, his scent wraps around me, that fresh clean soap smell and something else. Him. And then I see his apartment.
"Oh my god." I gasp.
The lights are dimmed, candles scattered everywhere.
Battery operated ones, don’t want to burn the apartment down.
The dining table is set with actual china plates and matching wine glasses.
There's a bouquet of white roses in the center.
Music plays softly from his speakers, something jazzy and low.
"Emmett ..."
"I know it's a lot," he says, closing the door and walking toward me. "I asked the building concierge for help. Told her I needed to impress someone."
My heart does this stupid stuttering thing in my chest.
"You didn't have to …"
"I did." He turns me to face him. "This isn't just dinner, Jo.”
I can't speak, can barely think, because he's looking at me like I'm the only thing in the world that matters, and it's terrifying and perfect and … I want it. I want him.
"Come on." He takes my hand, leads me to the table, and pulls out my chair. I sit and watch him pour wine. His hands are steady, mine would be shaking, they are shaking.
"I'll be right back," he says.
He disappears into the kitchen and returns with two plates, perfectly seared steak and roasted vegetables
"You made this?"
“Yes.”
We eat, the food is incredible, the wine is smooth and expensive.
We talk about safe things, the game, the streak.
How Sully almost got into a fight with Ottawa's left wing.
But underneath it all is this current, this awareness, every time his eyes meet mine.
I'm halfway through my steak when I can't take it anymore.
"Emmett," I burst out.
He sets down his fork. "Yes.” He looks slightly confused by my sudden outburst.
“Can we talk?”
“Of course,” he says as he drains his wine glass, then refills it.
Now I have his full attention, I freeze.
I stare at this wonderful man, taking in one of the most romantic things a man has ever done for me.
He is putting everything on the line, has been for months now.
He’s never shied away from his feelings for me, he’s respected the back and forth I’ve put him through.
He’s been constant, whereas I’ve been the one pulling him along on strings, making him almost beg to give into him.
Shit. But then I look at this gorgeous man who is so willing to try for more.
How can I have been such a fool and kept denying him?
He starts talking before I get a chance to get out what is going on in my mind.
“I can't stop thinking about you. I've tried.
After London. After Vegas. After that night in the pool.
After the fucking elevator. I've tried to respect your boundaries.
Keep my distance. Do the right thing." He looks at me.
"But I can't. Because being near you and not being with you is killing me.” My chest tightens.
"And I know it's complicated," he continues.
"Your brothers play on my team. You work for my team.
There are a hundred reasons this is a terrible idea.
" His hand reaches across the table and covers mine.
"But I also know I've never felt like this about anyone.
And I think … I hope … you feel it too."
I take my hand away from his, and his brows pull together ever so slightly, the disappointment evident on his face, especially after opening himself up like he just did.
I get up from my seat and walk over to where he is seated, motioning for him to move his chair out.
I am being bold in this moment, something I should have done months ago.
He follows my lead silently and pushing his chair back, and the next thing I do is straddle him, which surprises him.
I place my hand on his chest, and I can feel his heart beating a million miles an hour.
“I’m sorry.” He looks at me in confusion, but I wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry I’ve been pushing you away, even though I have wanted you. I can’t stop thinking about you, either.”
His hands find my hips, gripping tight. "Jo ..."
"I'm terrified," I whisper. "What if we get caught? What if it ruins everything? What if I lose my job? What if the team turns on you? But … I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone before.”
“You do?” I see the hope and happiness that radiate from him.
I nod. “I do. I also think we should keep whatever is happening between us a secret.”
His brows rise high. “Secret?”
I run my hand over his cheek, feeling the stubble against my fingers. “I know that might be a lot to ask, and I guess it’s no different to what we have been doing but … I think we should see what this is before … we … um … tell the world, don’t you?”
“You mean before we tell your brothers?”
I nod as I take him all in. “And before your team.”
He captures my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist, which sends sparks all over my body.
“Sully suggested the same thing.”
“He did?”
Emmett nods. “Thought it was best to wait till after the season is over before telling everyone we’re dating.”
“So, we’re dating?” I ask, smiling down at him.
“Yes. I’m not after a fuck buddy.” Oh. “If I just wanted sex, Jo, there are plenty of bunnies that would be willing.” Not sure if I should be offended or not, but I see what he means. “I want to be able to wake up with you and cuddle you. I want to cook for and feed you. I want you in my life.”
“You do?”
He nods. “Never been surer. And if the only way we can do this or even try this is by keeping it to ourselves, I’m okay. I’m not ashamed of you, I just want that to be known.”
“I’m not either.”
“Our worry is what us being together would do for the team and your brothers, if that is the only reason we can’t be together, then …”
“We don’t tell them … until it’s time.”
“Yeah.”
“Collette suggested the same thing.” This surprises him. “I hate that we have to do this, but it’s best of everyone.”
“Once we are holding that cup, no one is going to care that we are together.” He smiles.
“Agreed.” I’m unable to hide my smile.
“In the summer, we can tell HR and everyone, and it gives them months of working it out before the next season.” I nod, fully in agreement. "So, you wanna take a chance on me? On this?"
“Yes.” I don’t even hesitate as I lean forward and kiss him softly.
"Finally." He chuckles before his mouth crashes against mine in hunger.
And oh god, this isn't like the pool. This isn't frantic or desperate or stolen, this is him claiming me.
His tongue sweeps into my mouth, and I moan as I grip his shoulders and feel the muscle shift under my hands.
He kisses me until I'm dizzy, until I forget where I end and he begins.
My hips roll against him, and he groans into my mouth. I can feel how hard he is beneath me.
"Bedroom," I gasp when we break apart.
"You sure?"
"Emmett, if you don't take me to your bedroom right now, I'm going to lose my mind."
He stands, lifting me with him, and my legs wrap around his waist. I can feel him pressed against me through our clothes.
He carries me down the hall and kicks open his bedroom door.
The room is dark except for the city lights filtering through the windows, his bed is huge, unmade.
But I don’t care, we are about to mess it up anyway. He sets me on my feet and steps back.
"I need you to know something," he says.
"What?"
"Every day I've thought about all the things I want to do to you."
Heat floods through me, pooling low in my belly. "Show me."
His hands go to the zipper at the back of my dress. "Can I?"
"Yes."
He slides it down slowly, the dress pooling at my feet. His eyes drop to my bra, the sexy lace one Collette insisted I wear.
"Fuck, Joelle." He growls as my bra hits the floor next. He just looks at me, his breathing ragged. "You're perfect," he says. "So, fucking perfect."
My heart wants to explode, he is so fricken perfect. I’ve never had a man worship me like this man does.
"Your turn," I say as I reach for his shirt, pulling it over his head to display his body. Broad shoulders. Defined chest. Abs that flex when I run my fingers over them. And lower …
"Jo." His voice is strained. "Keep looking at me like that and this is going to be over embarrassingly fast."
I smile. "We have all night."
"We do." He hooks his fingers in my underwear and slides them down. I'm naked and standing in front of him, and I've never felt more powerful.
"Get on the bed," he says.
It's not a request. It's a command. And oh God, I like it. I climb onto his bed, the sheets smell like him, that clean masculine scent that makes me want more. He strips off his jeans, his underwear, and there he is, hard and ready and mine.
"Spread your legs," he orders. I obey. He kneels between my thighs, his hands rough and warm on my skin. "I need to taste you first," he murmurs. "Been dying to taste you again."
"Emmett …" Then his mouth is on me, making me cry out and arch off the bed. He pins my hips down with one strong arm, the other hand working its magic on me. Two fingers. Curling. Finding that spot that makes me see stars.
"Oh God … oh fuck …"
"That's it." His voice is muffled against me. "Let me hear you." His tongue circles my clit, flicks, sucks. I'm already so close, wound so tight from months of wanting this, wanting him.
"Emmett, I'm going to …"
"Come for me. I want to feel it." His fingers curl harder, his mouth relentless, I shatter, screaming his name, my whole body convulsing. Before I can recover, he's moving, opening the bedside table, and pulling out a condom. He rolls it on and then positions himself between my legs.
"Look at me," he demands. I force my eyes open. He slowly pushes inside, inch by inch, stretching me, filling me completely, we both groan.
"You feel incredible," he grits out. "So tight. So perfect." He starts to move, deep strokes that hit something inside me that make my toes curl. I cling to his shoulders, feeling the flex and release of muscle, the heat of his skin, the way his breath hitches when I clench around him.
"Harder," I gasp.
"You sure?"
"Please," I beg him.
He braces his hands on either side of my head, changes the angle, and then he's pounding into me, the headboard slamming against the wall, my breasts bouncing with each thrust.
"Touch yourself," he orders. "I want to watch you come while I'm inside you." My hand slides between us to find my clit.
"That's my good girl. So, fucking good for me.
" The combination of his words, his body, the pressure of my fingers, the suppressed need.
I come again, harder this time, crying out his name.
He follows seconds later, moaning my own name before collapsing on top of me, his weight pinning me to the mattress.
For a long moment, we just breathe, hearts pounding, skin slick with sweat.
"Holy shit," I finally manage.
He laughs and rolls to the side, quickly disposing of the condom before pulling me against him, my head on his chest, his arm around me.
"Worth the wait?" he asks.
"Yes. But now I wish we had been doing this sooner.” This earns me a deep chuckle as he kisses my forehead, my nose, and my mouth.
"This is going to work," he says.
"I know it will." I trace patterns on his chest. "We're going to make this work."
"What happens now?" he asks.
"Now?" I smile against his skin. "Now we figure out how to steal every moment we can together. How to make this secret thing work until the playoffs are over."
"Then what?"
"Then we tell everyone. My brothers. The team. Everyone. And we stop hiding."
His fingers trace patterns on my bare shoulder. "You're not scared?"
"Terrified," I admit. "But I want this. I want you. And I'm done running from it."
He tilts my chin up, making me look at him. "I'm falling for you, Jo."
My heart stutters. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Good." I kiss him softly. "Because I'm falling for you, too."
He grins and pulls me closer. "Stay tonight."
"I'm not going anywhere." I grab my phone and send Collette a quick message.
Joelle: I’m staying the night.
Her response is immediate.
Collette: Finally. Have fun!
I put my phone down and snuggle back into Emmett's warmth. I close my eyes, listen to his heartbeat, and feel the rise and fall of his chest.
“I’m going to make sure you never regret taking a chance on me,” he says, kissing my temple.
And my heart wants to explode.