Chapter Nine #2
I sigh again, rolling my eyes. “Whatever. Wait, does one of our own mean you’re hooking up too? Kinda suspected that about you, so I guess we’re even. Although—wait, don’t you both have girlfriends?” Then realization sinks in, and I gasp. “Oh daaamn, you guys are cheating on your women, together?”
Marcus snorts. “We’re a throuple, Cap. Caleb and I are both with Lauren, and we’re together.” He swings a finger between them, gesturing at themselves.
I nearly spit my swig of water out. “Whoa, that’s fuckin’ wild. Now that, I had no clue about.”
“We don’t really advertise it, because… well, Ternbay.”
I nod. “I hear that.”
Marcus chuckles. “You seriously thought we both had separate girlfriends named Lauren? Wow.”
I scowl. “It’s not that uncommon of a name…”
Caleb signs something again, slower this time, but still too much for me to understand. Marcus picks up on my confusion and interprets for him, “C says he wishes we could offer you a place to stay with us, but between us and all the in-laws, we’re a pretty packed house.”
“Thanks anyway,” I mutter, “but I’d probably just be all Grinchy on you and be a total Christmas buzzkill.”
Marcus gasps, feigning a clutch to his heart. “And steal Gordy’s thunder? You wouldn’t dare…”
I chuckle. “Lay off him, he’s going through some shit. I may or may not have brought on this latest round of his wrath on myself. I’m just giving him space.”
See? Mature. Still a work in progress, but hey, I’m still plugging away at it.
Bonus points for me putting some distance between myself and my infatuation with a guy who clearly doesn’t reciprocate, since he lets me bare my soul to him, yet all he can give me is a small chip from his armor.
No, what I need to do is shut whatever that was down.
“Aw, look at you all sticking up for him!” Marcus teases me, then turns to Caleb, “I’m putting up another twenty on that crush being legit.”
Caleb shakes his head, points to Marcus, kisses his hand, and slaps his own ass. I’m no expert, but I’m choosing to interpret that as Marcus can kiss his ass on that bet.
“I am not crushing on Gordy, Jesus. This isn’t middle school, and he’s the last person I should mess around with. My brother would lose his shit. So, you know what? You both are assholes, and you can both kiss my ass! How about that?”
Marcus chuckles. “No can do, boss man. I kiss enough ass as it is.”
Caleb winks and finger-guns Marcus, clicking his tongue.
“You guys ever use those dating apps at all?”
“Used to. We obviously don’t really need to anymore…” Marcus interprets for Caleb.
“Maybe, once everything settles down after the holidays, you guys could help me set a profile up? Since, you know, I’m a newbie.”
Both guys chuckle, then Caleb nods. “We can do that, Cap,” Marcus adds.
We’re only a couple miles out from land, when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out, and when I see who the text is from, my heart stutters.
Croot
Why is all your shit gone?
I snort. And everyone thinks I’m the town dumbass.
Me
Because it would be uncouth of me to depart your residence without all my clothing. O’Reilly’s got enough on his plate without needing to pinch me for indecent exposure.
Besides, it’s fuckin’ winter. Unsure if you know this or not, but that’s when it gets cold in Maine. I prefer to wear my balls on the outside, thanks.
I watch with a smirk as three dots appear, disappear, then reappear again several times.
Croot
In simpler terms, you moved out?
Me
Affirmative.
Croot
Why?
Me
I reckon it’s because you told me to.
Croot
Where are you staying, then?
Me
Boat.
Croot
Is your heater working?
Me
Negatory.
Croot
Get your shit and get back here, then.
Me
Gonna go with negatory again.
Croot
That wasn’t a question, Wee-Waters.
I only told you to get out of my face. You didn’t have to move out.
Me
All I’m going to do is just fuck more shit up for you, man. Just drop it, alright?
Thanks for letting me stay there for as long as you did. I really am sorry.
On my apology, he leaves me on "read," and I eventually take his silence as resignation.
Marcus, Caleb, and I make it back to the marina, and drop off our catch at the lobster pound.
As tired as I am, I still have work to do on the boat to get it ready for the shorter day tomorrow, but in the spirit of Christmas, I send them on their way so I can go about it by myself.
Hours later, I plod across the bay to the other marina, where my houseboat is docked.
I grin when I see the donut is gone, hoping that it was Gulligan who snatched it up, but one can never be sure when there are this many seagulls so close to the water’s edge.
I duck down the stairs, and when I flip on the generator and light, I see that I’ve been robbed.
Or rather—even worse, judging by the clattering in the bathroom—I’m interrupting a burglary in progress…
Scanning my surroundings for anything I can potentially use as a weapon, I snatch a knife from the block on the kitchenette counter, and get into a fighting stance.
“I’d drop whatever you think you’re going to be stealing, and come out of there with your hands where I can see them,” I say, trying to sound as menacing as possible.
I hear a faint chuckling from behind the shut pocket door. “Yeah, because I’m going to pawn this used stick of deodorant and hit the jackpot…”
Wait—what the fuck?!
“Evan?!”
The pocket door slides open, and my big brother cackles at the sight of me. “The fuck you gonna do with that? Saw me into chum with a steaknife?”
I lower my weapon, scowling at him. “You can’t commandeer the boat with your husband again, if that’s what you’re here for…”
“No, dumbass,” Evan scoffs. “Went to Portside to look for you, and Gordy said you were staying here. I’m packing up your shit so I can take you to Mom and Dad’s. You can’t stay on this thing; it’s fuckin’ colder than a yeti’s taint down here.”
“I’m not going back home. I’m fine here. I’ve got blankets.”
“I’ve got half a mind to let you fuck around and find out, just like that time when a lobster nearly lopped off your finger, but even I know that staying down here with no heat is a recipe for hypothermia.”
“Buying a space heater was on my agenda for the day, you know.”
“That’ll drain your power so fuckin’ fast it’s not even funny. Besides, it’s been so damn cold, there probably isn’t one in stock clear through ‘til Machias. Now, stop being a stubborn dickhead, and get in the truck. I’ve got most of your shit packed up.”
“But… I told Gulligan I’d be here.”
Evan’s dark brows furrow. “Who?”
“My seagull.”
“You have a pet seagull?”
I shrug. “You have raccoons. Plural. Wait, did you bring them for Christmas at Ma and Dad’s?”
Evan rolls his eyes. “Yes, Noodles and Meatball are in my truck. Brooks’ moms agreed to bring the cats, so Snarf and Tigger will be coming tomorrow.”
“See? Full house, then. No room for me.”
“Funny, but no. Olivia and Lizzy rented a room at the bed and breakfast, same as Colt and Petro. Morgan’s staying at Taryn’s. Tally winds up in bed with Brooks and I half the time anyway, so that does leave room for you. Now, get your ass in gear, before I stretch it out with my boot.”