Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
RORY
I glanced out at my parents’ backyard, pleased with how everything had come together. Thousands of fairy lights dotted the space, white paper globes hung suspended from dozens of tree branches, and flickers of candlelight danced in the soft breeze. With the help of my sisters—mostly Will, as Mac had grumbled the whole time—I had managed to transform the sprawling green space into a magical wonderland.
If only I could enjoy it.
Instead, I stood off to the side, watching Gran mingle and chat with the guests who’d shown up to celebrate her life. Hundreds of Havenbrook’s residents filled the yard, laughing and joking and sharing stories.
Meanwhile, Nat wasn’t here because she still hadn’t returned a single one of my calls. That tiny detail would eat at me the rest of the party if I let it.
And when my foundation was already on thin ice? I needed to be careful where I let my attention focus.
I’d picked up the girls earlier in the day, and they’d filled me in on the exciting plans their daddy and Sarah Beth were making for a wedding. I wasn’t even upset that Sean had moved on. Heavens knew I already had. Of course, I was upset at the betrayal—from both my former husband and best friend—but it was more than that.
What really stabbed me in the gut was the fact that the man who’d torn our family apart was giving our girls a new one, all while I was still struggling to find myself.
Needing to focus on something else, I checked the food to make sure nothing needed refilling. The stuffed mushrooms were running a little low, so I slipped inside the house and pulled the extras from the oven where Lilah, Hudson’s sister and the main chef at The Sweet Spot, had instructed me to keep them to make sure they stayed warm.
After transferring them to a platter, I strolled back outside, head held high and smile in place. That mask I’d forced myself to slip back on made me feel like I was regressing from how far I’d come in the past months, but that wasn’t something I could unpack right now. Not when hundreds of Havenbrook’s residents had their eyes on me.
And they were definitely on me.
I’d heard whispers of my name all afternoon, and I hadn’t had to stick around for any of the gossip to know it was just a rehash of what I’d heard yesterday.
Those whispers might’ve cracked my facade just a little, but I refused to show it.
I’d just finished refilling the platter on the table when I felt a presence at my side. Turning my head, I offered a blind smile, the curve of my lips faltering only slightly when I saw Nash’s father standing there. It was remarkable how much the two looked alike. If I wanted to know what Nash would look like in twenty years, I had my answer.
“Oh, hey there, Big Nash.”
He smiled and reached around me, plucking a mushroom from the platter and popping it in his mouth. “Hey, Rory. Great party. And, please, call me Nash.”
Nope, I definitely would not be doing that. Not when I’d called out that very name in the throes of orgasm just last night.
“Are you enjoyin’ yourself?” I asked.
His eyes flicked down my body so quickly, I wasn’t even sure it’d happened, and then he scanned the crowd around us. “I always enjoy myself at a Rory Haven party.”
“That’s awfully nice of you to say. Thank you.”
“Heard you bought Old Man Morris’s place now that your divorce is final.”
“That’s right.”
He hummed, his attention focused solely on me. “Last I saw that house, it was pretty run-down.”
The smile on my face turned tight and forced, but he didn’t seem to notice. “We like it just fine.”
“Sure, sure. I just meant I’d be happy to swing out and take care of some things for you. Anything at all.”
If there was something I couldn’t do for myself…well, I’d figure out a way and do it anyhow. “That’s real sweet, but I think I’m all set.”
He inclined his head toward me, and this time, I didn’t imagine the way his eyes swept over me. “If you’re sure…”
My fingers tightened on the empty tray I held. “I am.”
“All right. Well, the offer still stands. Gimme a call. Any time.”
I’d already told him I didn’t need any of this help, so I just pressed my lips together in what I hoped passed for a smile and not a grimace until he finally meandered off.
As soon as he was out of earshot, a hand curled around my arm, startling me enough that I jumped. I twisted around and found my sister gaping at me with wide eyes.
“ Holy shit ,” Will said. “I can’t believe Big Nash just hit on you!”
“What? No, he just…” I blinked. That wasn’t what had happened…was it?
“I know he’s a little older than you—and he’s not exactly lookin’ for a relationship, if you know what I mean—but maybe he’s just the guy to get you back in the game again.” Will waggled her eyebrows.
My stomach roiled as heat crept up my chest. Not just over the idea of sleeping with Nash’s dad, but because of the huge secret I’d been keeping. I’d been back in the game for quite some time, but my sisters wouldn’t know anything about that because I’d been lying to them both for months. The three of us were supposed to be growing closer, and instead, I’d been keeping them in the dark while I’d fumbled my way through this life-changing thing on my own.
“What do you think?” Will shook my arm.
“What does she think about what?” Mac reached around us and plucked a fried green tomato from the table.
“About Rory goin’ out with Big Nash!”
Mac snapped her head in my direction, her eyes wide. “Big Nash as in…Nash’s daddy?”
“Of course, Nash’s daddy,” Will said. “You know any other Big Nashes?”
“How the hell am I supposed to know if Rory gave the other one a nickname?”
Will laughed. “Why in the world would she give him a nickname like that?”
Mac lifted a brow and shot Will a look that even my na?veté picked up on, and my spine snapped straight. Despite Mac showing interest that day she’d stopped by town hall, she hadn’t pressed the issue, so it’d been easy to forget exactly how she’d looked at Nash and I that day. Like there was something going on between us, and she was going to find out exactly what it was. That felt like a lifetime ago. Had Mac managed to figure it out? Did she already know, and she was just waiting for me to open up about it?
My skin felt like it was on fire. If I didn’t get away right that second, I wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t burst into flames. “’Scuse me, I need to refill the mushrooms.”
“I thought you just did that?” Will said, worry etched on her face.
“Never can have too many!” I said, my voice overly chipper.
I spun around, ready to head for the house, when Gran’s delighted laugh reached me over the din of the crowd. I glanced in that direction, spotting a flash of bright pink, and my mouth went dry while my brain tried to register what I was seeing. Gran gripped Nat’s hands in hers, and she smiled up at the youngest Haven as if she held all the stars in the sky. Directly next to them stood Nash, watching Nat with a huge grin on his face.
At some point, the whispers around me had gone from talk of Nash and me to discussion of my sister and Nash. How great it was to have Nat home, and how cute she and Nash were together. Just like old times, and wasn’t that just fantastic?
The murmurs around me blurred together until all I could hear was the whoosh-whoosh-whoosh of my heartbeat in my ears. Of course he’d managed to get Nat here when I had failed. They’d been friends nearly all their lives, and Nat actually liked him. Though, from the way my sister was staring up at him, gratitude and something else shining in her eyes, maybe it was something more than just like .
The thought had a volcano erupting inside me, bile rising up my throat. I had no claim on him. Had, in fact, told him in no uncertain terms that I didn’t want one. I had no idea if he was even looking for a relationship, but if he was, he deserved to be with someone like Nat. Someone young and vibrant and carefree. Not someone who was old enough to be hit on by his father. Not a divorced mother of two who was still stumbling through life, trying to figure out who she was.
I blinked twice and refocused, but the trio no longer stood where I stared. And I certainly wasn’t going to search them out. I needed a break out of earshot from all the murmured approval of having Nat back in town. Just five minutes away so I could breathe. So I could get my shit together, and then I could keep on pretending.
I nearly made it to the back porch steps before someone called my name. Maybe I could feign like I hadn’t heard them and just keep right on walking? I increased my pace and kept my head down.
“Rory!” The voice was close enough now that I recognized it as Gran. “Sugar, hang on just a minute.”
My shoulders sagged, and I halted in my movements. If just about anyone else had approached me, I wouldn’t have thought twice about avoiding and ignoring, but not Gran.
I took a deep breath, schooled my expression, and turned around. “Hey, Gran, you havin’ a good time?”
Gran reached up and held my cheeks between her hands. “I don’t know how you did it, sugar, but I’ll never be able to thank you for gettin’ Nat home for this. Such a sweet thing you did, throwin’ this party for me, but this…” She shook her head, a look of pure elation on her face as she glanced over her shoulder. I followed Gran’s gaze, though I wished I hadn’t.
Nat and Nash stood under the huge maple tree, Nat holding herself up against Nash’s side as the two laughed so hard, tears were streaming down their faces. Had he ever laughed like that with me?
“I know y’all don’t see eye to eye,” Gran said, “but I’m so grateful you did something so special for this old lady. So happy to have all my granddaughters here, even if just for a little while.”
I couldn’t speak to tell Gran that I hadn’t had any involvement at all in getting Nat home. That, because my sister hated me so much she wouldn’t even return an impersonal text message, someone else had had to step in to get the youngest Haven home. I was too worried my voice would give me away if I tried to get the words out.
“You okay, sugar?” Gran asked. “You look a little pale.”
I swallowed down my tears and cleared my throat, my lips shaking as I held my smile. “I’m fine. Just a little hot is all. I’m gonna stick my head in the freezer for a minute. I’ll be right back.”
There was no way Gran believed that pile of garbage—especially since she knew me better than almost anyone—but I was fresh out of lies. Worse, I was tired of offering them up every time something wasn’t perfect just to keep up the facade.
“Momma! Ella stole my earbuds, and she won’t give ’em back!” Ava stormed up, her voice loud enough to turn a dozen heads in the yard.
“I did not!” Ella shot back. “You prolly lost ’em and just wanna blame me! You’re always tryin’ to get me in trouble.”
“Girls,” I snapped, low and firm. “That’s quite enough of that.” I ushered them up the back porch steps where we could take care of this inside, away from prying eyes and ears. Seemed no matter what part of my life was in turmoil, I couldn’t escape that.
Turning back to Gran, I said, “Go on and enjoy your party while I handle this. We’ll be back soon.”
As desperate as I was to get away, to escape for some solitude where I could crack in peace, I had a job to do. Right now, I had to play Momma and sister and daughter. Granddaughter and hostess and whatever other hat I needed to put on to get the job done.
There was always later. After the party was cleaned up, after the girls were in bed… When it was just me and a glass of wine and I could finally be just Rory, I’d allow that mask to slip away.