Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
NASH
With absolutely no destination in mind, I allowed my truck to guide me through the back roads surrounding Havenbrook. I couldn’t be in the warehouse—who knew how much longer it’d even be mine—and I couldn’t go home. The idea of being in my tiny studio apartment—the one I’d rented for the sole purpose of stashing away as much money as possible to buy out my dad—ate at me. Everything I’d done—all the sacrifices and struggles I’d made for years—had been for nothing. My family business was going to get sold to the highest bidder, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
My headlights dipped and soared as I bounced down the dirt road, the full moon casting a glow over the barren fields on either side of me. While everything I’d said to my old man had been weighing on me for years, and every single word had needed to be spoken, my chest still ached over finally walking away.
My dad had never provided any sort of support, but I had still taken comfort knowing I wasn’t all alone in Havenbrook. And now? Nat was gone and never coming back. Asher was well on his way to stardom. I’d just told my old man to fuck off. And I’d lost the only woman I wanted to share my life with.
So, yeah. Things were just fucking great.
My phone rang and I glanced over, a photo of me and Nat that we’d taken when she’d been home illuminated on the screen. I hadn’t told Nat any of this. Hadn’t told Asher either. Maybe a small part of me hoped Rory would come to her senses and I wouldn’t have to say anything.
With a sigh, I answered the call and set it to speaker before tossing my phone on the seat. “Yeah.”
“Oh, good, you’re alive. I was just checkin’ to make sure Havenbrook hadn’t burned into oblivion after their devil spawn came and left.”
I grunted, the only response I could muster.
“Doin’ okay over there? You sound like you’re one step up from death. Rory finally zap your will to live?” Nat laughed like it was the funniest fucking thing in the world, and I gripped the steering wheel so hard it creaked.
While she’d been home, she hadn’t been supportive, exactly, of me and Rory, but she also hadn’t thrown a fit about it. She’d shrugged in her Natalie way, as if she didn’t care one way or another about the outcome. But she’d made little comments here and there…tiny digs at Rory that I had always shut down. But this was pushing it too far.
“Would you knock that shit off already?” I snapped. “You’ve made your stance on the situation crystal clear.”
Silence came over the line until finally, she said, “ Okayyyyy … Is she right there or something?”
I breathed out a humorless laugh as I turned and headed back toward town. “Don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“Not followin’.”
“She bailed. Things got tough, and she decided it wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t worth it.”
Nat was quiet for a long moment. “Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t you meet me in Charlotte? I’m still in the States, and that’s Asher’s next stop. We can hit up a show, get you drunk, then get you laid. You’ll forget about her in no time.”
“Ain’t gonna happen.”
“You never know until you try,” she singsonged. “Just gotta find you the right one. I’ll play wingwoman—I’m excellent, as you may recall—and we’ll get it taken care of. You won’t even remember her name when I’m done.”
I didn’t have a shred of hope that’d happen. Not when I could call up the tiniest detail about Rory. Like how she’d stir cream and sugar into her coffee, set the spoon down, only to dunk and stir once more before taking her first sip. Or how she’d shove pencils in her hair while she was working and pull out four at the end of the day because she’d forgotten about them. Or how she whispered to herself that she was unplugging her curling iron so she wouldn’t panic when she left the house. Or how she closed her eyes and tapped her finger on her lips when she was trying to envision a design. How she smiled up at me when we were watching a movie, or how she looked when she first woke up, or how fucking much I missed her.
“I love her, Nat,” I said, my voice gruff. “I know that’s not what you wanna hear, and you’re clingin’ to this dumb-ass grudge from years ago, but she’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and I’m in love with her.”
“You— You…” Silence carried over the line for long moments. “Oh.”
I ran a hand through my hair, tugging on the too-long top. “So basically, I’m fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. The one time I throw out all my rules, my heart gets put through the meat grinder. I’m gonna need a little more than a weekend trip to Charlotte to recover.”
“I could— Look, you know Havenbrook’s not my favorite place, but if you need me, I’m there. Just say the word. I don’t think I’ll catch fire if I come back so soon. But just in case, you should probably greet me at the airport with a fire extinguisher.”
I laughed. My first true laugh in what felt like forever. “I’d love to have you back, but I don’t need you to come.”
“How about Asher?”
“He’s plannin’ a trip after his tour. Look, I’m a big boy. Y’all don’t need to babysit me.”
She cleared her throat. “Soooo…speakin’ of babysittin’… When did your pervy little infatuation with Rory start? You remember she was our designated babysitter for years, right?”
“I wasn’t gettin’ boners for her at eight, Nat, Jesus.”
“Well, I don’t know how all your boy parts work! And I have no idea how long this has been goin’ on, because someone didn’t share.”
“Gee, I wonder why.”
“All right, all right, I get it. I’m the biggest asshole in the world. So what else is new? I’m askin’ now, though, aren’t I?”
I shifted in my seat and stared out at the windshield as I passed the Welcome to Havenbrook sign. “It’s been a while.”
“Define ‘a while.’”
“She was definitely my first wet dream.”
“Oh my God . I cannot believe you just told me that.”
I breathed out a laugh. “Hey, you wanted to know.”
“So that’s, um…that’s a long time, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Nat’s voice softened. “So it’s gonna take a long time, huh?”
I rubbed a hand over my chest, hating the ache that always seemed to be present now. “Yeah.”
“Well, this blows. Just fucking blows. I hate hearin’ you like this. What can I do? Tell me what I can do.”
“Love you, Nattie, but I don’t think there’s anything. Unless you can get that stubborn sister of yours to see how great we are together.” I breathed out a laugh. “But since y’all aren’t talkin’, and last I checked you weren’t a miracle worker, looks like all I’ve got is time.”
“Did she give you a reason?”
Yeah, about a dozen. And, in my mind, none of them had been enough to justify breaking up. Which told me ninety percent of this battle was in Rory’s head.
I pulled into the alley behind The Sweet Spot. “Look, Nat, I appreciate this, but I don’t really—” My words cut off as my headlights swept over the staircase leading to my apartment and illuminated the shadow of a person sitting there, my heart jumping into my throat as hope surged fast and fierce inside me.