Chapter 19
“ B efore we get to Daija, can I just say that I love Rex?” Monae says while smiling. I’m in my favorite spot on my chaise and she’s on the other side of my sectional. She arrived an hour ago to check on me before Daija gets here. “Our first game night was epic because that man tongued your ass down in front of all of us,” she says, smiling so damn hard.
“Actually, I kissed him,” I admit because I did.
Hell, I couldn’t help it. It was something about that moment. He smelled delicious as usual and looked as handsome as he always does but something was different. His eyes were penetrating my skin and caressing my soul. Had he not spoken his love for me, I would have. I felt it and the words were anxiously waiting to fall from my lips.
I love Rex. I love him with every ounce of my being. It wasn’t an expected love or one that I planned but it is the love I’ve needed and definitely want in my life. So when he verbalized it, my words easily came out and I had to kiss him. I didn’t give a damn about my friends or game night. It was only him and just us, no one else.
“I’m so happy for you, friend,” she says sincerely. “Real love looks good on you. That smile is every damn thing.”
“He keeps me smiling. Girl, he’s so big and strong but there’s a sweet and gentle side of him that just makes me melt.” And soaks my damn panties.
“And things are good with his little girl?” she asks.
“Aryel. And yes, she’s adorable and really likes me.”
“I like her too and her daddy for allowing my baby to go. It’s two days away and Justice can’t stop talking about this princess sleepover. Thanks for thinking of her.”
“Girl, how can I plan a princess party and not invite my little god-princess. It’s going to be epic.”
“Are you sure I don’t need to buy anything?”
“Girl, yes. You don’t need to buy a damn thing. We have the air mattresses, pillows, even the sheets and comforters for their little teepee setups. We even have matching pajamas, slippers, and bonnets. It’s Aryel’s first sleepover and he bought everything she wants.”
“Sounds like it’s going to be fun and loud as hell. Six screaming little girls,” she says, laughing. “You can have that.”
“What are you and Just going to do without Justice?”
“Enjoy the peace and quiet. MJ is going to a baseball game with Dom too. I love my kids but Momma and Daddy need a break.”
She stands and walks her empty flute to the kitchen. She refills it with the cranberry mimosa she made to go with the salmon croquettes and grits I cooked. With Daija coming over, I wanted to cook her favorite breakfast meal. She’s been home for spring break for four days. She spent the first few days at the beach in Crescent Keys, but now, she is finally making time for me.
This conversation has to go right. This distance between Daija and me is tortuous. I initiate all contact, and although she responds, it’s not the same and it hurts. I miss her and all I want is for us to be able to get past this awkwardness. Letting my nerves get the best of me, I hold up my flute and Monae walks over with the carafe and pours the liquid courage into it.
“Thanks.”
When she returns to my sectional, she sits down, tucking one leg under her ass. Then, she looks at me sincerely. “So, what are you going to say to her?” she asks, finally bringing Daija up.
Last week, I finally broke down and told Monae. Initially, she was naturally shocked but that probably lasted all of five minutes. When it wore off, she was nothing but understanding, sympathetic, and most importantly, non-judgmental.
“Our last real conversation was when I told her and I did most of the talking. I think this time I’m going to let her talk. She needs to let it all out.”
“But can you handle that? Her words might still be filled with anger.”
“I have to handle it. I have had twenty-one years to deal with this. She’s barely had twenty-one days. Her words might hurt me but they won’t kill me. Besides, whatever she might say, I deserve that shit. I did lie to her.”
“Because you were a kid and you were doing what you were told. Plus, when were you supposed to tell her? She definitely wouldn’t have been able to process this when she was younger. She’s an adult. This was the best time.”
“She’s an adult but she’s my baby and she’s hurting.”
“But so are you. You are both hurting because you love each other so much. It’s going to be fine.”
“I don’t know. I’m going to hurt her more when I tell her the truth about Tremayne and his refusal to talk to or acknowledge her.”
“Just be honest and be there for her like you always have.”
“I will. Thanks, girl.”
“You know I love you.”
“I love you more.”
She downs her drink then stands. She steps over to me and leans in for a big hug. When we end our embrace, she journeys back to the kitchen to grab the extra croquettes I made for Just and MJ. They love them as much as Daija. As she gets her container, my phone rings. It’s a FaceTime from Rex and I answer.
His baritone floats through the air. “Hey, beautiful.”
Before I can respond, she yells from the kitchen, “Hey, Rex!”
“What’s up?” he says. “Sorry, I didn’t know she was still there.”
Again, she speaks before me. “I’m leaving,” she announces as she walks back into the living room. “She’s all yours.” Monae winks. I start to stand to let her out but she waves me off then lets herself out.
“As usual, you have perfect timing. I swear you always know when to call or come see me.”
“I know Daija is supposed to be there at noon so I had to make sure that you’re good.”
“I’m good. I just hope it goes okay.”
“It’s gonna go better than okay. You got to focus on what you told me.”
“What? What did I tell you?” I question.
“Our first night in my tub, about Lyra. You told me that family may hurt each other and get upset but the love is always there. Daija loves you so you don’t need to hope, just focus on your words, beautiful.”
My doorbell chimes and I sigh from a tinge of disappointment. She’s not using her key.
“That’s her?” he asks.
“Yeah. I gotta go.”
“Focus on your words. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I end the call then ease off my sectional. My hands nervously brush down my shirt as I journey to my door. When I open it and see her standing here, face devoid of her beautiful smile, a wave of guilt engulfs me. And when my eyes meet her drearily dull ones, my heart sinks. I’m the reason for her sadness.
Without any thought, I throw my arms around her, pull her into me, and hold her. As I embrace her, I silently pray that all the love I possess for her somehow radiates from me and permeates her skin. For what feels like forever, I just hold her as she stands frozen, displaying my stubbornness trait that she clearly inherited.
“I love you,” I tell her and she sniffs loudly, finally moving.
Her hands reach up and caress my back and a painful cry escapes her lips. My hold tightens and her cries amplify. Gingerly, I turn us around, use my foot to close the door, then walk us to my sectional. When we are sitting, she curls up on the sectional then rests her head on my lap. After raking her braids from her face, I softly caress it as she continues to cry.
“I’m lost. I don’t know who I am anymore,” she mumbles after about fifteen minutes of sobbing. “My whole life…a lie. Momma isn’t my momma. Daddy isn’t my daddy. My real father blocked me. He has other children but he doesn’t want me. Nope, not Daija. I don’t belong to anybody and nobody wants me. That… That,” she huffs. “That’s my life. That’s some truth for my ass.”
Her rant stops for a moment and I stall, waiting to see if she’s going to continue. I’m keeping my promise to let her talk and get her feelings out. It’s the least of things that I owe her. However, when her silence lingers for too long, I decide to speak, refuting the most important and most erroneous statement she made—nobody wants her.
“I want you. You are mine and I wanted you the moment I learned you existed. I wanted you then and I still do now. I will always love and want you, Daija.”
“And who are you to me, Truce? Huh? My big sister who I loved so much that I tried to be just as good as her? Is that who you are? Is it? Or, and this is the tea, are you the one who gave birth to me then lied to me every damn day of my life? And only told me because I found an old ass birth certificate. Who are you to me?” she spews angrily and sarcastically.
Her words are a harsh cocktail of anger and pain prepared just for me. So I take them, swallow them whole, then push them down. I’ll consume all of her hurt and pain if it will lead her back to me and mend this brokenness between us. I’m her mother; her burdens are mind to bear.
“I’m your mother,” I say calmly once I’ve digested her words. “Even if you are unsure of who I am to you, I’m not. You are my daughter and I am your mom. I was your mom when you rushed to the stage during my graduation when you were four. I was your mom when you started your period and called me crying. I was your mom when we went homecoming and prom shopping and I was your mom when you decided to lose your virginity before you left for college. I have always been your mother; I just couldn’t tell you. I was fourteen and had to do what my mother said. Doing it killed me but it didn’t stop me from loving you, caring for you, and always making sure that you were okay. I don’t care what you call me, Daija. Just don’t shut me out.”
Her hand swipes across her tear-stained face then she sits up slowly. She stares at me for a moment, then sighs. Her shoulders deflate and she frowns.
“Did you talk to Tremayne?” she asks and I nod. “What did he say?”
“The same thing he said when we were kids. He’s not a real man and you don’t need him in your life. You have a great dad who loves you. Don’t waste your energy or tears on Tremayne. He’s not worth it,” I tell her and her tears return. I reach out and wipe them. “I mean it; he’s not worth it and he doesn’t deserve to know you.”
She nods because she understands but it’s clear that it’s hurting her to accept my words. Her legs stretch out then she places her feet on the floor. She inches closer to me and I drape my arm around her. Her arm hugs me.
“Do you regret it?” she utters.
“The secret, yes. Having you, never. I’ll never ever regret you.”
“I do love you, Truce,” she whimpers and my entire body relaxes into a smile.
“I know you do.”
“And I’m sorry,” she says.
“You don’t have to apologize to me for nothing. I’m the one that’s sorry. I really am.”
She squeezes me tighter then lifts her head. “Are those croquettes I smell?” she asks and I start grinning. Our grins turn to laughter and it’s the best sound I’ve heard in a long ass time.
“ R ex, if you don’t get out of here!” I warn for the thousandth time.
“Daddy!” Aryel squeals. “Let us finish.”
“I’m just trying to help,” he says and I just smile.
The way he has been hovering over us as we set up his theatre room is absolutely adorable. He went into his store today but was back at the house by two. He wants Aryel’s first sleepover to be perfect, and thanks to him, it will be. This theatre room has been transformed to every little girl’s fantasy. In the open space before the screen, we have six personalized princess “beds” set up.
After Rex inflated all six twin beds, Aryel helped me add the sheets, comforters, monogrammed pillows, and princess decorations. Her bed is of course Princess Ariel and the others are Princess Tiana. The head of each bed is a teepee decorated to match the bed and sitting on top of each bed are gift bags filled with princess pjs, slippers, and bonnets. There’s a mini concession stand set up in the back of the room with popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, and boxed candies, all the goodies needed for their movie marathon. We are all set for her friends.
“It’s ready,” Aryel gushes.
“And it looks beautiful,” Rex comments from the doorway. “Why don’t you go take your bath so you can be ready when they get here.”
“Yes, and grab your pajamas off your bed,” I add and she rushes to grab her pjs.
As soon as Rex moves to the side to allow her out of the room, he steps to me and cocoons me in his strong arms. Instantly, I become intoxicated from his scent and touch, utterly drunk in love.
“There’s no way I would have pulled this shit off without you. Thank you, beautiful,” he says while staring lovingly into my eyes. Then, his lips graze mine before he kisses me passionately and hungrily. The sound of his doorbell chiming is the only thing that pulls his lips from mine. “Damn,” he groans. “Somebody’s early as fuck.”
“It’s probably Monae. Get it and I’ll check on Aryel.”
“Nah, Aryel heard that doorbell. She probably hopped out of that tub. She’ll be running down the hall in a minute.” He steps to the small panel on the wall and presses the camera view. “It’s Monae.”
“I told you. She’s ready to drop off my goddaughter. Check on our sleepover princess and I’ll go get Justice,” I say and a big ass smile spreads across his handsome face. He kisses me again and I swear this one is more passionate, deeper than the other one, catching me off guard. “What’s up?” I question.
The doorbell chimes again. “Go get your girl,” he says, still smiling hard.
“Somebody here!” Aryel’s voice screams. He was right.
We walk out of the theatre right on time to see her in her turquoise Little Mermaid pajamas charging toward the staircase. He catches her first and I’m on their heels as we head down the stairs. He walks toward the family room and Aryel and I head to the door. As soon as we open the door, Justice walks in as if she’s been here before and rushes to me. We hug and I introduce the two princesses. Before I can utter another word, Aryel is dragging Justice up the stairs.
“This is for Aryel,” Monae says as she hands me a princess gift bag.
“I told yo’ ass not to bring anything,” I scoff.
“You knew I would. It’s just a little something for the hostess. Thanks again for this. I’ll be back at one on the dot tomorrow,” she says then starts to turn around.
“You don’t want to come in?”
“Um no. The package has been delivered and it’s time for me to go home to my husband.” She turns around, waves her hand up, then struts off. “Don’t call me tonight,” she says while laughing.
“I won’t,” I say while shaking my head at my friend. As she drives off, two more cars pull into the driveway. “Aryel,” I call out and her and Justice come barreling down the stairs about three minutes later. “Slow down,” I warn.
“Yes ma’am,” they sing in unison, like two old friends.
Twenty minutes later, all five girls have arrived and the theatre room is buzzing with giggles and squeals. I join them, then walk each girl one by one to the guest room so they can change into their pajamas. As expected, the personalized pjs are as big a hit as the beds they are bouncing on.
“Can we play some music?” Aryel asks excitedly, her little chest heaving from jumping.
“Yes. I’ll turn it on. Are you ready to eat yet?”
“No!” they all yell.
“Not yet. After we dance,” she says before running back to the group.
I turn on the sound system and find a clean radio station. After turning up the volume, I walk out to head downstairs for Rex but he’s coming up the stairs.
“Something wrong? They good?” he asks pensively.
“They are fine but can I just say this side of you is so adorable.”
He’s now at the top of the stairs, frowning. “What side of me?” he questions.
“This hovering, concerned dad side. I love it. It’s so cute the way you want to make sure this goes well.” After crowding his space, I add, “It’s hella sexy too.”
His frown morphs into a smile. “I’m not hovering, just checking.”
“Either way. It’s sexy,” I tell him before reaching up and pecking his lips. “But go check on them; they’re dancing now. I’m going to serve them food when they finish and start the first movie. You hungry?”
“I was about to order us something but you pick the place.”
“You know I’m eating the movie food—some popcorn, Milk Duds, and nachos.”
He places a soft kiss on my forehead then steps to the theatre room. He peeks in on the rambunctious little girls for a moment then we head downstairs. When we reach his family room, he sits on his sectional then pulls me down on him. He buries his face in the crook of my neck and trails kisses up to my earlobe then to my lips.
“She is having so much fun. After this, she’s gonna want to have sleepovers every month,” he says.
“Oh, she definitely will,” I agree. Their giggles and squeals can be heard down here, even over the music. “Are you sure you don’t want to watch the movie with us?” I tease.
It’s March Madness and the CFU Lions are playing tonight. A Disney movie is the last thing he wants to watch. He may hover but he’s not sitting for a full-length film with these talkative little girls.
“You already know I’m not but you can come right back here and spend halftime with me.”
The salacious look on his handsome face not only has my clit throbbing but it confirms that I need to stay my ass upstairs with the girls for halftime. He will not have me spread eagle and screaming his name for Aryel and her friends to hear.
“Halftime is a no, Rex. There will be no sex in here tonight.”
“I know for a fact that’s a damn lie,” he challenges. His hand slides between my thighs at the precise moment his tongue runs across my bottom lip. “Kissing these.” His tongue moves to my top lip. “And burying my dick so deep inside of you is fo’ sho happening tonight.” His tongue glides into my mouth and makes love to mine. When a light moan falls off my lips, he mumbles, “See. Sex, tonight.”
“Maybe,” I concede, knowing damn well I can’t resist his hands and definitely not his lips. I’m gone. Gone gone, hopelessly addicted to all things Rex Goode. Every ounce of resistance I think I have shamelessly dissolves around him, every time.
“I knew your freaky ass would give in to me,” he says with sexually charged arrogance.
“Each and every time,” I admit and he smiles.
Damn. His lazy and relaxed smile is perfection and it’s written in permanent ink on my list of Rex’s addictions. It’s only reserved for those close to him and I don’t take the privilege lightly.
“Godma! Godma!” Justice comes running into the living room with Aryel right behind her.
“We’re hungry now,” Aryel announces.
“Okay. I’m coming. Go on upstairs and tell everyone to wash their hands.” The moment they race out of the living room, his lips return to mine. “Don’t forget to order your food before the game starts.”
“I won’t and I’ll be up a little later to check on y’all,” he says and I smile.
His hovering.
When I make it upstairs, the girls are on their teepee beds, going through their goodie bags. Aryel spots me and rushes over. Pure elation is written all over her face and her big eyes are sparkling.
“I can get the trays,” she volunteers.
“Thank you. That’ll be a big help,” I tell her.
We walk to the back and she grabs two of the movie snack trays from the shelf. Two by two she delivers them to her friends as I glove up and check on the food. The boxed candies are on the bottom of the concession stand in arm’s reach for them to pick those snacks. The popcorn machine, nacho cheese dispenser and chips, and hot dog steamer and bun warmer with the toppings are on top. The drinks are in the mini fridge.
“I’m sitting by you,” Justice tells Aryel as they line up.
“Ok and so is Kiana. I’ll be in the middle,” she says and I smile, happy that these two are really getting along.
The girls line up and I serve them like an employee at a theatre. They carefully carry their trays to the theatre seats then grab their drinks from the fridge. After I pile my tray with my usuals, I join them and start the first movie. Midway through the movie, I glance back and spot him leaning on the door frame, checking on the girls. When our eyes meet, he eases into the room.
“They have enough food?” he whispers.
“Too much actually and they are loving it. What did you end up ordering?”
“Smokey’s.” He leans over and kisses my lips. “Don’t forget me at halftime,” he says before stepping down to Aryel.
She turns around when she feels his presence behind her. “Daddy, get some nachos,” she says.
“I already ate, baby, but they look good.”
“They are good. I got one pepper but I don’t like it. You gon’ watch the movie?”
“No, I’m going back downstairs to my game.”
She turns back to her movie and he steps back to me. Before leaving the room, he grabs some of my popcorn and milk duds from my tray. As the movie progresses, the girls transition to their beds as they finish eating. By the start of the second movie, they are comfortable in their teepees and the seats are all cleaned up.
In the battle of the movies versus the girls, the second movie wins and not one of them makes it to the end. After turning the volume down, I check on each one, adjusting covers and moving goodies from beds. Then I head downstairs to find him. He’s still on the sectional and a few minutes are left in the final half of the game.
“Who’s winning?” I ask as soon as I’m on his lap and he turns the television off. “Why’d you do that?”
“There’s something more important that I need to do.” His arms wrap around me and he rests his head in his favorite spot, the side of my neck. “They sleep?” he asks.
“Knocked out. They had a little dance competition between the movies and I think that did it.”
“You’re amazing.”
“Yeah, I know,” I tease. “But why am I so amazing at this moment?”
His head lifts then his hand caresses the side of my face. It moves to the back of my head then he gently pulls my face closer to his. “You,” he sighs while shaking his head. “I’ve had this idea of you since that day in school. And yeah, I grew up and lived a whole ass life but that day and you stuck in mind. You were the pretty girl who fueled my boxing career but this you is so much better. You’re not a childhood memory or that dream girl anymore. You’re here: perfectly fitting in my life, loving me, and showing up for my baby girl like you do. If I didn’t already love you, I would have fallen hard as hell today,” he says with so much compassion.
God, I love this man.
“You know who’s really amazing?” I counter. “The man who helped me through the hardest time of my life. The same man who allows me to cry whenever I need to. The man who has so much love for his daughter that he will move mountains for her. My amazingness isn’t nearly as amazing as yours. All of you is a dream come true, even those eleven freckles on your face.”
“Eleven? No one even notices those.”
After repositioning myself to straddle him, I place my hands on the sides of his face, caressing his soft beard. Then, I move my hand and point out each tiny little freckle on his cheek. He’s right; they are so little, almost nonexistent, but I see them. I see all of him.
“I recount them every time I’m laying across your chest. It’s eleven,” I say and he smiles.
“I’ve never even counted them shits. I can’t lie; I love how obsessed you are with a nigga,” he says smugly and I just laugh at his ass. Then, he lifts up and lays me on his sectional. With his hands pressed on the cushions, he leans in over me. “You really do love me.”
“Yeah and probably more than you know,” I admit.
He lifts my arms and drapes them around his neck. “Wrap your legs around me,” he demands and I don’t hesitate to comply.
While holding my back, he raises off the sectional and stands. His lips collide with mine. With so much passion and hunger, he kisses every ounce of breath from my body as he carries me to the first downstairs guest room. When we reach the bed, he drops me on it then tries to push me back but I shake my head then motion him closer with my finger.
When he steps forward, I grab the strings of his sweats. After toying with them, I ease my hands into his sweats then push them down. His beautiful dick is threatening to burst out of his boxers and my mouth waters at the sight, causing me to swallow hard.
“Damn,” I utter with absolute admiration.
To tease him, I run my hand over his boxers and gently caress his dick. His head drops and a low, soul-stirring groan falls from his lips.
“Shiiit,” he growls.
My hands slide into his boxers and I slide them down. He steps out of them and his sweats. When he does, I stroke his dick softly with both hands. His eyes drop, staring into mine, and I don’t break contact even as I plant a kiss on his beautiful mushroomed tip. When I say I love every inch of Rex, I mean that shit. Every fucking inch.
As a show of pure appreciation, I take my time and make love to his long, thick dick. My hands stroke him until it pulsates against them then I use my tongue. After running it up and down his entire length, I trace my tongue around his tip. A deep rumbling sound comes from his core and his hands gravitate to my hair. When he fists it, I smile then intentionally let the saliva from my mouth fall onto his tip.
“Fuck,” he damn near cries.
I mentally pat myself on the back then get back to work, back to pleasing the man I love. My mouth covers him and I take as much of him in as I can inside. My hands have to handle the rest. His ab muscles flex as my mouth, tongue, and hands put in the work he deserves.
With my hands still wrapped around him, I swirl my tongue around his head then try my best to take him all in. His size presents a challenge but I love to try and he appreciates the efforts. When I take him in deeper and his tip hits the back of his throat, his hands fist my hair.
“Truce, shit,” he groans. “I’m 'bout to bust.” Encouraged by his words and the feel of his dick throbbing in my mouth, I twist my wrists, slowly jerking him as I suck. His ab muscles get tighter and his legs start to shift. When his hands grip my head steadily, I prepare myself then accept all of him as he explodes. He cranes his head then stares at me while shaking it. I swallow hard then swipe my hand across my mouth. “Nasty, sexy ass,” he utters before kissing my forehead. “Lay back. It’s my turn.”