Chapter Fourteen
Declan
Jake twists his fingers around themselves in anxiety. “You didn’t call me the next day.” He watches his hands like they’re the most intriguing things on the planet.
My heart drops. He’s right, I didn’t. We were so tied up with everything that happened with Clara and Rhett that I completely forgot. I figured he’d call me when he was ready to work it out. I didn’t see or talk to him again until a few weeks later when he busted in on me and Natasha.
“That night, when I had to rush out? It was because Clara’s psycho ex completely trashed her apartment.
I had to go help get her and Bear to safety.
You never reached out so I thought you were just processing.
” I take a deep breath before continuing, “Jake, I had come to terms with my sexuality more than ten years prior, and I was the first man you’d ever kissed.
I wasn’t going to interfere with you sorting out what you wanted. ”
“I never knew that. I thought you were just avoiding me, and then Natasha texted me to come over, and well, you know what happened next.”
His words echo in my mind, “I’m sorry, repeat that. She texted you to come over to fuck while I was there?”
He vehemently shakes his head. “No, we’ve never slept together. She just told me we needed to talk.”
The floor drops out from under me. “What do you mean you guys have never slept together?”
“I mean, we were always just friends. Then I came over and found her about to suck your dick, and well–”
“Listen, I know that looked bad. It looked really bad, but I swear all we did was kiss and I only went there to see if I still felt anything for her. She tried to take it farther, and I was stopping her. Jake, my cock was so flaccid it was borderline embarrassing.”
“Looked pretty hard to me when I walked in.” He grumbles under his breath.
“Yeah, I’m sure it did. Because I learned that night that a very niche color of ice blue seems to be the key to getting me hard.
” I reach out and grab his hand with mine, “I’m sorry.
We weren’t together, but I still should have talked to you before going over there.
I was wrong for that.” I wait until his skeptical eyes come to mine before leaning in and placing a quick kiss on his lips.
“And ever since then? Dec, you’ve been sleeping with her ever since that day.
How am I supposed to believe you when you say you couldn’t even get hard?
You’ve been getting hard enough to fuck her all these years.
” I physically recoil at his tone and what he’s implying.
If only he knew what the fuck goes on behind closed doors between her and me.
“Jake, it’s not what you think.” My voice comes out so quietly that it’s basically a whisper.
I’m assuming he can see the change in my expression because his entire demeanor changes in an instant.
“What was that?” He questions. His tone hard and unyielding.
“What was what?”
“No, no. Don’t play stupid, Declan. What the fuck was that? You pulled away from me. You look like you’re going to throw up. We’ve known each other forever. That isn’t a ‘I feel bad about fucking–”
As soon as the word’s out of his mouth, I flinch again on instinct.
I do so well talking to my brothers when I make what we do seem like we’re hooking up and not like I’m being forced to do shit I’d never allow if it was any other way and lives weren’t on the line.
There’s something about Jakob, though. I can’t hide shit from him.
“That!” He points at me as he softens his voice, “What’s going on, Dec?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I promise it’s not at all what it seems like. I just need you to be patient with me. I’ll tell you everything when I’m ready. I promise.” I’m begging him to understand. To give me a little grace until I can process my trauma and be able to tell him.
He eyes me skeptically, but eventually sighs and nods.
“Okay, but I need to know if I’m the only one you’re making out with and pinning against walls.”
I can’t help the small laugh that works its way up my throat. “Yeah, babe. I’m not making out with anyone or pinning anyone else to any other walls.”
He grabs my hand and laces our fingers before quietly declaring, “I hate her fucking guts.”
“Yeah, me too.” I answer on an exhale. Jake pulls my hand until I’m lying down on the couch with my head in his lap and his fingers in my hair.
“We’ll take this slow? Figure out how to do this at our own pace?” He questions.
“Yeah, that sounds nice.” I smile up at him as his fingers methodically comb through my hair.
He grabs the remote and turns on the baseball game, stealing both of our attention quickly.
One of the twins’ best friends, Knox, plays for the Virginia Reapers.
The majority of the twins’ friends, long ago dubbed ‘the lucky ones’, have gone pro in their respective sports.
I mean, they seriously are the melting pot of sports.
Everything from football to gymnastics, these kids are doing it, and they’re excelling at it.
Still, they find themselves in the estate’s backyard more times than not.
Still acting like the delinquents they’ve always been.
“I can’t believe this is the same kid that ran into your room one time declaring that he was going to be a dad because some girl held his hand on the bus, and he thought that’s how babies were made.”
We both start laughing so hard that we’re wiping tears from our eyes by the time we calm down.
“Poor kid was in fifth grade. How the hell did he go that long believing that?” I ask through my laughter.
I shake my head in disbelief before turning my attention back to the game.
I’ve let my eyes shut when I feel Jakob lean down, press his lips to my temple, and whisper, “Whatever she’s doing to you, whatever is haunting you, I’m going to figure it out, and I’m going to fix it, mein Engel. I promise.”
I have to work hard to temper the emotion that I’ve been pushing down for years.
This all feels like it’s coming to a head quickly, and I’m not ready.
I can’t tell Jakob without telling my brothers, and I can never tell them.
There are some things you have a right to keep to yourself, for your privacy, and in my case, the safety of everyone in the immediate vicinity of our state.
Something about the way he presses without demanding makes me want to tell him everything.
Too bad I can’t without ruining him. Jake’s just a guy who loves his family and his bar.
He doesn’t deserve to get dragged into this shit.
* * *
“Where have you been?” I practically jump out of my skin as I turn around to see Sully watching me carefully.
I wasn’t sneaking into the house. I’m just six months shy of thirty-one years old, for fuck’s sake, but maybe I was being extra careful shutting the door.
It’s past ten, and I know the kids are asleep by now.
Jakob and I spent the rest of the day lounging around, snuggling, and making out like horny teenagers until he had to leave for work.
“None of your business.” I look around and notice he’s alone. “Where’s Flynn? Where’s Elle?” Elle is Sullivan’s best friend and future wife, even if they’re both too stubborn to realize that last part yet.
“Flynn’s out with his hockey douche bags, I mean friends, and Elle is over at Mac and Lee’s last I heard. You know she’s not actually my girl, right? She goes places without me all the time.”
I raise a singular eyebrow while staring blankly at him.
“Oh, fuck off.” He starts walking away but tosses over his shoulder a landing blow, “Next time you’re off making out with Fischer, make sure your phone’s on loud. Roe’s looking for you. He’s on the back patio.”
My jaw actually drops. How the hell did he know where I was? I pull my phone out of my pocket and see the group chat I have with my brothers going crazy.
Byrne Bro’s
Rowan: Anyone have a clue where my under boss is?
Kieran: I know where your enforcer is, but your UB? No dice, sorry.
Sully: Ohhh, Declan’s in trouble.
Flynn: Did he not finish his chores before he left the house this morning? Ya know, because he’s thirty and still lives at home.
Kieran: Ouch, that was harsh. Flynn won’t you be living at home every off season from now until forever?
Flynn: Absolutely not.
Sully: Don’t….
Flynn: I’ll be living with the other half of my brain in Corey Heights.
Sully: And there it is. You’re not living with me, Flynn. Buy your own house.
Flynn: I will… When you buy one and the one across the street goes up for sale.
Rowan: How is that any different than Declan and I still living together?
Sully: *shrug emoji* You guys didn’t share amniotic fluid.
Three seconds later…
Flynn: *hair flip emoji* You guys didn’t share the same placenta.
Rowan: I should have just texted the older three… Declan? Where the hell are you?
Mac: He’s not here, but word on the street is he’s only about a dozen doors down.
Kieran: Should we check on him? Make sure they haven’t killed each other?
Mac: Nah, let them do their thing. He’ll come back, eventually.
Flynn: Do their thing?? What are they doing? Fucking?
Mac: And if they are?
Kieran: Why do you care if they are?
Flynn: I don’t care if they are, except that they hate each other and we should probably make sure they didn’t hate fuck each other to death.
Rowan: All of you mind your damn business. Declan when you see this meet me on the patio.
There’s so much to unpack in that group chat, but I don’t have time for any of it. I see two more text notifications and click on Jake’s name first.
Chaos: At work. I had a good time today. Don’t ghost me again.
I smile as I type out a quick response.
Declan: I won’t. I had a good time too. Have a good night, Chaos.
Chaos: Goodnight, Beast.
The next text is from Natasha, and I have to force back down the rising bile in my throat.
Natasha: I have to go handle business. You’ll report to Mikhail and Anya in my absence. Don’t do anything stupid.
A shiver rolls down my spine. I hate dealing with the two of them.
Regardless, I don’t have to do anything for a few more days, so I push the impending doom to the back of my mind and go in search of my brother.
Firmly pulling the mask of under boss in place to hide the man who’s scared of a woman half his size because of the heinous shit she has done to him when he’s unconscious.