Chapter Forty- Seven
Jakob
I’ve read a lot of things about what happens when you lose someone.
Loss is a part of life, and the media is so saturated with it.
From the loss of a pet to the loss of the love of your life, and everything in between.
With that comes a lot of cliches. I remember hearing somewhere that when you lose someone, your world turns black and white, but I don’t think that’s true.
In the two months since I’ve lost my baby sister, the colors of the world are still there; they’ve just shifted.
Where the world was once filled with bright, vibrant colors while Anneliese was here.
Bright pinks, yellows, blues, greens, and purples.
Now they’re just dull and lifeless. The colors are still there, but they aren’t the same.
The only time I get a glimpse of the light is when Declan’s with me.
He’s been my rock while I navigate through my grief.
A few weeks after the service, he pulled the footage and then let us know that Anneliese died saving Elle.
I’d like to say I’m surprised, but I’m not.
Of course she’d jump in front of a bullet to save our sister’s sister. It’s such an Annie thing to do.
My family is trying to settle into a new sense of what life is now.
I’m not going to call it normal, because there is no normal anymore.
My parents have put all their focus onto Hannah, and honestly I don’t blame them.
Lee and Mac got married a couple of months ago.
The wedding was beautiful, and the presence of Annie was felt throughout the entire day.
Dieter and I both went back to work the week after the funeral, and we’ve really tried to settle.
“Chaos? Did you hear me?” My eyes snap over to Declan, who I guess has been talking to me.
“No, sorry. What was that?”
“I was just asking you what time we were leaving.” He presses his lips to my temple gently.
“Just whenever you’re ready is fine.” A small smile tugs at my lips.
If I’ve learned anything over the past couple of months, it’s that life can be gone at any moment, and I don’t want to continue to wait to make this man my husband.
We planned a date together, and little does he know, by tonight he’ll be my fiance.
I need to marry him as desperately as I need my next breath.
It’s him. It always has been and always will be.
We’re going into Brooklyn for dinner and a walk down in Brooklyn Bridge Park, which is where I’ll pop the question.
Afterwards, we’ll head up to our favorite rooftop bar, where our friends and family will be waiting for us.
My friends have become Declan’s friends too.
Now, ironically enough, he and Miles are the closest aside from his relationship with Dieter and obviously, myself.
We drive into Brooklyn in comfortable silence.
Declan said he has something to talk to me about later tonight.
He better not be trying to break up with me, because I’m going to fucking glue this ring to his finger before I let that happen.
He had a meeting with all of his brothers earlier today, so I think it’s safe to assume it’s some work thing.
Hopefully he’s not having to travel for whatever it is.
I can’t just leave my job to go with him.
I mean, I’ll make it happen. It’ll just be a little difficult.
We’re pulling into the parking garage when he squeezes my hand three times, always three.
He turns to me with a strange look in his eye.
He looks good tonight. Don’t get me wrong, he always looks good, but tonight he’s in maroon slacks, a solid black button down and a maroon suit jacket with black lapels.
His hair is neat, his beard neatly trimmed, and those green eyes that captivate me no matter where we are. He’s fucking striking.
“I love you, Chaos.” His lips tick up on one side.
“I love you too, Beast. Now come on before we’re late.” We both get out of the vehicle and meet at the front of the SUV. He reaches over and grabs my hand.
“Oh, yeah? You love me so much that you decided to dress like me tonight?” He raises his eyebrow and cuts his eyes to me.
“Shut the hell up. I didn’t dress like you.”
Looking down at my outfit, I stifle a laugh because we are dressed similarly. Only where he’s wearing maroon, I’m wearing royal blue. I try to jerk my hand out of his, but he just chuckles and holds on tighter.
“It’s okay, baby boy. I like it.” His voice becomes rough and my dick twitches in my slacks.
“Save it for tonight. I want to have this date without being defiled beforehand. If it’s all the same to you.” I grumble while leading us inside.
Declan doesn’t respond until we’re seated and the waiter has taken our orders. I think he’s not going to until he surprises me and runs the tip of his shoe up my leg slowly, “I’ll play by your rules for now, but I’m fucking you until you pass out when we get home.”
* * *
Our dinner was amazing, and now we’re strolling hand in hand down the Brooklyn Bridge.
I’ve never been here, which could be taken as a crime in and of itself, seeing as I’ve lived in Corey Heights my entire life.
Declan told me earlier he’d never been either.
The bridge is empty with the exception of the two of us.
I’m sure Dec thinks that it’s a happy coincidence, but really I had Lee call and block it off for the evening so we wouldn’t be interrupted.
The solid white gold ring has been burning a hole in my pocket all evening. Every time he’s tried to walk or get anywhere near my right side, I’ve internally panicked thinking he can see or feel the small velvet box through my suit jacket.
“This is a killer view.” Declan smiles as we walk across the bridge leading from Manhattan to Brooklyn.
The feeling of pure, unadulterated love fills me in a way that it hasn’t in months while I look at him as the sun is setting behind his back.
He looks like a painting or a sculpture.
The kind of beauty and perfection that’s meant to be protected behind the secure walls of a museum, not strolling through the city with his boyfriend.
“You’re so handsome, baby.” I smile while just admiring him.
“So I have to say something.” We both say it at the exact same time. I know that whatever the meeting was about is important, but this is more important. I’m unable to say that though, or he’s going to catch on to what I’m trying to do.
“You first.” We both say at the same time again. Both laughing nervously as a plan forms in my mind.
“Okay, how about this… We’ll close our eyes and on the count of three, we’ll open them and say what we want to say together… okay?”
“Why are we closing our eyes?” Declan questions.
“I don’t know, it just seems like the right thing to do.” I shrug, guessing he has a point. “We don’t have to.”
“No, I kind of like it. Let’s do it. But do we open our eyes on three or after?” I see the playfulness shining in those eyes that I love so much.
“Why do you have to do this every time? Who actually opens on three? We have to open on ‘open’.” I shake my head in mock exasperation.
“Everyone opens on three.” He grumbled in faux sadness. “Fine, we’ll do it your way.” He smiles.
“Good, because you’ll get your way later when you’re taking me over the island in the kitchen.” I shoot him a playful wink and take note of the way the tips of his ears redden slightly at me being so straightforward. We aren’t shy about sex, but typically he’s the one being so direct.
Declan and I face each other and the nerves in my belly take flight. I’m so sure of this man that the nerves are only the good kind. We close our eyes and begin to count.
“One.” I kneel on the cold hard surface.
“Two.” My hand pulls out the ring box.
“Three.” I open the ring box and hold it in one hand in front of me.
“Open.” My eyes fly open.
My jaw hits the ground as I take in the scene before me. Instead of looking up into Declan’s eyes, I’m staring directly into them because… he’s also kneeling… and holding a velvet box in his hand. I can’t help the laugh that bursts out of me.
“You’re joking, right?” I ask in disbelief.
A look of panic crosses his face. “No. No! You can’t be mad? You were doing the same thing. I’m not taking it back.” He rushes out indignantly.
“Beast, shut the fuck up.” The smile on my face is so big that it hurts. A flash of defiance flashes over his features for a brief second, but he schools his expression quickly and gestures for me to continue.
“Declan, I had prepared this entire speech, but now that just seems so rehearsed. This is us. Unplanned, but in sync. I love you so much that my chest actually hurts when we aren’t together.
I’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth without questioning it.
As long as I have you by my side, I can face anything.
Even your flaws look like perfection when I’m staring into your beautiful eyes.
I want to be your confidant, your safe place, your home, and your partner.
But most of all, I want to be your husband.
Declan James Byrne, will you marry me?” Tears stream down my face as I watch him take in my words. The tears in his eyes shred me.
“If I say yes, do I still get to do my whole spiel?” He asks with a watery laugh.
“Yes, asshole. Just answer me before I take it back.” I bark out a laugh.
“Yes, Chaos. I’ll marry you.” I slip the white gold ring on his finger, and just like I knew it would, it fits like a glove.
I watch as he holds out an identical white gold band to the one I just gave him, because of course we bought each other the exact same rings.
His entire face lights up as he begins ‘his whole spiel’.
“Jakob, when we reconnected after our unfortunate time apart, I had to rein in my feelings. They were steadfast and intense, but I knew you weren’t there yet.
As you opened up and eventually decided to give me a shot, my feelings consumed me.
I want to be your pillar of strength when you need rest, the man who protects you and our relationship at any sign of trouble.
I want to meet you at the bar and catcall you every night while you work behind a bar that should really be properly staffed.
I will willingly walk through flames barefoot just to get to you and stand by your side.
I want to have the answers you seek, and when I don’t, I want to go with you on the adventure to find them.
Most importantly though, I want to call a truce right here, right now.
I want a truce with you forever, please?
Jakob Emmett Fischer, would you do the greatest honor of my life and let me be your husband? ”
“Yes, Beast. Truce, Please?” I wipe my eyes quickly before bringing my thumb under his eyes and wiping his tears away as well.
He slides the ring perfectly onto my left ring finger and smiles brightly as he lifts my hand up to kiss the ring before loudly declaring,
“Truce, Forever.”