INDIE JUNE
INDIE
JUNE
“My Teddy is quite fond of you, my girl.”
Clearing my throat, I make a point to pretend that statement doesn’t make my heart race.
“Got any 3’s?”
“Go fish,” Ellie chuckles, knowing I’m trying to change the subject. I reach toward the deck to pull another card, and grimace. My spread looks abysmal.
“He just keeps pestering me for information about you,” Ellie wiggles her thinning eyebrows.
Chemo’s snatching a little more hair from her since this is her third session.
It’s not snatching her positivity, though.
I don’t think there’s a sickness on earth strong enough to take that. “I think he’s got a crush on you.”
Thump-thump-thump.
I grimace and rub a hand over my chest. Should I walk across the street to cardiology for a check-up?
Ellie sees my hand, and I quickly drop it, not wanting to concern her. That emotion doesn’t seem like the one she’s feeling. In fact, she looks much like she did when Teddy and I met—uncharacteristically smug.
“And what have you told him about me?”
“I told him he’s a big boy and can find out his damn self,” she winks. “Got any 7’s?”
“Go fish,” I try to hide my smile at her words, but my traitorous mouth curves anyway. “You know I can’t date my patient’s family. It’s unethical.”
“I won’t be your patient for long—god willing,” Ellie says, before amending. “No offense.”
“Ellie, my ultimate goal is to never see my patients again because they’re cancer-free.”
Ellie gasps dramatically, “And I thought we were friends!”
I laugh, the way only Ellie can make me.
The first time I did, a couple of my coworkers looked like I had suddenly sprouted two heads. Cold is one of the nicer adjectives I’ve heard used to describe me by former coworkers and classmates. Bitch was one of the meaner ones.
An ex-girlfriend in med school called me an ice queen when I ended things before residency sent us to opposite sides of the country. The distance was going to be too much, and we didn’t have much in common besides sex and medicine. Not exactly a great foundation for a lasting love story.
Friends are hard to make and harder to keep in this profession. Now that I’m in my residency and staying because I love oncology, it’s a bit easier.
There’s Phoebe, a twenty-year veteran nurse who keeps Red Bull stocked in the fridge for me. I return the favor with fresh-baked goods from the bakery below my apartment.
I yell at her whenever I catch her on a smoke break to not come crying to me when she gets lung cancer, and she tells me that she’ll remove the stick from my ass one day.
She’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had.
And now, Ellie Ambrose.
“Sometimes the lines get blurred between patient and friend,” I tilt my head from side to side, sending her a grin.
“And how blurry am I?” she asks, intrigued now.
“Very, Ellie.”
“Good. Don’t go to the eye doctor looking for a cure,” Ellie nods definitively. “You’re my friend, too.”
“Well, if it isn’t the prettiest ladies in this hospital,” I hear from behind me.
My spine snaps straight, my throat goes dry, and my heart slams against my ribcage like it wants to escape. The usual—and insanely abnormal—reaction I get around this man.
Ellie beams, “Teddy!”
Taking a deep breath and praying that I don’t have anything stuck in my teeth, that my hair is settled in a flattering way, and that I don’t stumble over my words, I turn.
Teddy stands there, grinning at me, his green eyes bright and his head covered by his usual backward hat, a tuft of wavy brown hair poking out the front.
I swallow, but notice that he seems to be checking me out too. His eyes trail from the top of my blonde hair, pulled back in its usual ponytail, to my navy blue scrubs and white sneakers.
Then his eyes lift back to mine.
And hold.
And I look too.
And hold.
For too long.
I’m aware of that, but I can’t stop.
No, actually, I don’t want to stop looking.
Because Teddy Williams is handsome. Devastating.
“That for me?” Ellie snickers, slicing right through our staring contest.
“Hi, Nana,” Teddy blinks, shaking his head to clear it. He walks right over to Ellie, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
Her hands make a gimme-gimme motion, so she takes the bag from his hands and digs through it. While she’s distracted, Teddy turns to me with a grin.
“Hey, Indie.”
“Teddy,” I nod, and his eyes brighten at that.
As always, on the days Ellie gets chemo, Teddy walks into the infusion center with a bag full of treats under his large arm. Usually, Ellie’s favorite ginger snap cookies, pop, and gummy bears.
Growing up, I dealt with intense stomach pain after eating. It took until I became emancipated—and a very expensive hospitalization from eating too many ramen noodles—to discover that I have celiac disease and can only eat gluten-free foods.
Somehow, Teddy remembered me saying that offhandedly, because now he’s started bringing things for me, too.
“Oh,” Teddy says, reaching into Nana’s bag and laughing as he dodges her smacking his hands away from her snacks jokingly.
He produces a box and holds it out to me. I blink in shock. They’re my favorite cinnamon sugar soft pretzels—expensive, so I usually only buy them when I have a little extra in my food budget.
Teddy looks a little shy now. “I figured you’d like to try them...”
“I have,” I blurt out, before quietly, “They’re my favorite.”
Teddy blinks, lips curving. “Really?”
“Yes,” I nod, taking them with a small smile. “Thank you, Teddy.”
“You’re welcome, Indie.”
His smile is wide enough to crack his face as he sits down on the other stool next to me. His large body settles into the chair, and as always, I marvel at his size.
I’m tall—5’11 at my last check-up—but Teddy makes me feel petite. He’s broad everywhere—big biceps, strong forearms, large thighs, a solid middle. And thick, dark hair up his arms and peeking out the collar of his t-shirt.
I’ve been attracted to people of all shapes and sizes, but Teddy has somehow unlocked something beyond attraction.
Not that I can do anything about that.
Ellie is my patient. Teddy is her grandson. There are rules and ethics that would prevent anything from happening between us.
And not that it would happen anyway. He’s probably attracted to me, but someone like him belongs with someone softer and sweeter.
“So, what’s the game today?” Teddy asks, looking back and forth between us.
“Go fish,” I shake my head to clear my rather depressing thoughts, and huff as I show him my cards. “Ellie’s kicking my ass.”
Teddy snorts and looks right at his Nana.
“Yeah, that’s because she cheats,” Teddy mock-whispers.
Ellie’s eyes go wide, a very much ‘oh-no-I’m-caught’ expression crossing her face.
My eyebrow raises. “That makes sense.”
“Theodore Williams,” Ellie squawks, laying a hand on her chest. “I am a lady—I do not cheat!”
“Mhm,” Teddy smirks. “Then how come you’ve got an Ace up your sleeve?”
He points to the sweater sleeve that her other hand covers protectively. Narrowing my eyes, I reach toward it, and sure enough, Ellie’s got some cards hiding in her sleeve.
“Well how did that get in there?” Ellie gasps dramatically.
“Ellie Ambrose,” I gasp, making Teddy chuckle. “How could you!”
“I’m an old lady with old tricks,” Ellie sniffs, haughtily. “You kids will learn one day.”
Teddy and I share a look before we burst out into laughter. He grabs Ellie’s cards and then holds his hands out for mine. I hand them over, and our fingers brush—barely—but enough for me to feel his warm, callused fingers against mine.
With the way his forearm muscles flex, it seems the jolt running up my arm has run up his too.
Whatever that means.
My eyes fly to his, but he’s already looking at me. A small smile on his lips, and his eyes a little heavy.
The feelings in my chest are overwhelming, and the pounding of my heart a little concerning, so I clear my throat and stand.
“I have patients—I mean I have to get back to my patients.”
Teddy stands too, shooting up out of the chair a little too quickly and sending the cards scattering all over the floor.
We all freeze in shock, before Ellie laughs.
“Aw, Teddy Bear,” Ellie teases warmly. “How’d you know I wanted to play 52 card pickup?”
Teddy’s cheeks go bright red, and I smirk, reaching behind Ellie’s neck when I spot the Queen of Hearts hiding there. I hold it between my first two fingers.
“51 it seems,” I say, narrowing my eyes.
“Now, how did that get in there?” Ellie gasps, making me laugh. I hand the card to Teddy, who’s kneeling on the floor and currently cleaning up the mess. He looks up, and I place the card in his hand, only this time his fingers close around mine for a moment.
Teddy just looks at me, and I just look right back at him. His cheeks are still pink, and no doubt mine are the same, but his eyes... so beautiful. And bright. And soft.
I just stare, not feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, just warm.
Until the moment stretches and I realize how our position looks—like he’s proposing to me. As I pull back my hand, he lets go immediately, though the smile remains on his face.
“Goodbye, Teddy,” I nod, awkwardly.
Teddy smiles, “See you, Indie.”
Hours later, I’m walking out the front door and swinging my bag over my shoulder to head home. The smell of wet pavement hits my nose, making me grin. The sky is still overcast, and the rain left the air feeling muggy.
“Fresh pack of Red Bulls in the fridge.”
Turning, I see Phoebe off to the side, toeing the line of the designated distance between the building and where she can smoke. Phoebe is a self-proclaimed habitual line stepper, but when it comes to patient care, there’s no better.
“Muffins will be in the break room,” I say, giving her a nod. “Pleasure doing business with you.”
Her scratchy laugh follows me out to the parking lot.
I’m about to cross the street when I hear a voice behind me.
“Indie?”
Freezing, I whip around and see Teddy walking toward me. Still in the same clothes as earlier, but now with a navy Williams Electric hoodie covering his arms.
Shame.
Those arms should never be covered.
“Teddy, hi...” I glance around, searching for Ellie. “Uh, is everything okay? Is Ellie—”
“Yeah, everything’s good!” he says, putting his hands in his pockets and shrugging. “I was… around. One of my jobs was in the area, and I remember you saying you were done every day at 6, and I... just wanted to make sure you got to your car safely...”
He trails off, going to scratch the back of his head before he realizes he still has his hat on and almost pushes it off his head. His reflexes are good because he catches it and readjusts it with both hands, hiding his face as he looks down, but I can see him cringe and squeeze his eyes closed.
Affection hits me hard.
“Thank you,” I say, gesturing around. “But the center is pretty well secured. Security is always around, but… thank you...”
I’m a woman who’s lived on my own forever. Vigilance is one luxury I do splurge on, hence the pepper spray and taser in my bag.
“Right, I know—and I know you don’t need me to keep safe,” Teddy adds. “You just mean a lot to my Nana, and I really appreciate the way you care for her.”
“I’m a doctor,” I mutter, even though his words wrap around me like a heated blanket. I joke, “Caring is sort of in the job description.”
“No, it’s the way you do it,” Teddy says, stepping closer to me. I stay rooted to my spot, letting him come closer—wanting him to come closer. “Not just about my Nana, but I’ve seen it with other patients. You care.”
My head tilts back to meet his eyes as he now stands right in front of me. His gaze is soft, but intense, with a gentle smile on his lips. His eyes trail all over my face in a way that feels more like admiring than scrutinizing.
I swallow, my brain sputtering to a start.
“You realize this is a little creepy, right?” I tease, trying to break the tension and chuckling awkwardly. Too late, I realize the flat tone makes it land wrong because Teddy’s eyes widen and he pales.
“Oh, shit—did I make you uncomfortable? Shit—I’m sorry, Indie. I just... I don’t really know what I’m doing—I just... I really like you—”
“I’m not uncomfortable!” I shout, before wincing and glancing around the parking lot. A couple of people glance over concerned, but I just give them a small wave, cringing at myself.
Taking a deep breath, I speak at a normal volume, though my babbling problem returns.
“You don’t make me uncomfortable, Teddy. Quite the opposite, actually. I’m very comfortable with you. And Ellie. You two are kind of the brightest part of my days. It was just a bad joke. I'm sorry.”
The horrified expression instantly melts from Teddy’s face and he grins.
“So... would you want to grab a cup of coffee?”
“I can’t date my patient’s grandson,” I blurt out.
Oh my fucking god, Indie, stop talking!
It’s a terrible habit I’ve picked up around him, like I’m physically incapable of not speaking my thoughts.
Teddy’s face falls, and I feel a deep, relentless need to make him smile again.
“But coffee isn’t exactly a date. I mean... I can technically be friends with my patient’s family, and friends buy each other coffee... right?”
Teddy looks like he’s practically vibrating through my rambling.
“Yes! I mean no—wait, no I mean...” Teddy sighs, placing his hand over his eyes as his cheeks flame.
I can’t help it, I break out into giggles.
Actual giggles.
Bouncy, high pitched, straight from my belly giggles that I don’t think I’ve ever—no, never. I’ve never giggled before. I used to think the sound was irritating or fake.
And now look at me—giggling.
Maybe this is growth, because the next time I hear someone giggling, I’m going to smile. Especially if they feel the way I do right now—buzzy and light and happier than I know what to do with.
I’ve never felt like this before.
Not until Teddy.
He peeks at me through his fingers when he hears me, and his hand drops as his smile grows.
“What I mean is—Indie, would you go on a totally platonic, coffee not-date with me, your patient’s grandson?”
And once again, I don’t hesitate—I jump.
“Yes.”