Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
LOUISA
T he crowd of people who have flooded the cemetery for Rosie’s service is a testament to her wonderful soul. Evelyn stands by Harry as I read the eulogy. Every line, every sentiment jotted down was offered up by the folks of Lewistown. She was loved dearly.
“Rose Elizabeth Rawlins, Rosie, was...” The words sound too monotone, a disservice to her spirit, but I read on. The page of Ma’s life story I have studied on repeat since it was put together is too rote. “...a loving mother who devoted her last breath to her family, Rosie...” I glance up at Harry.
He shifts on his feet. Tears cut down his face, moisture glistening on his jawline. Evelyn leans in, squeezing his hand. A stone grows in my throat at the sight. My heart is a mangled mess at the sight of my Harry, heartbroken. As if I can, I speak faster hoping to shorten his pain. “She will be so missed, but never, ever forgotten.”
My throat closes over as tears blur my vision. Small, huffy breaths leave Harry. The preacher gives me a nod when I manage the last line and scramble from my spot to get back to Harry’s side. The crowd sways where they stand, sniffles and sobs splitting the cooling fall air. As if the loss of this great woman brought its own cold front.
Harry’s hat hangs in his hands.
His head bowed down, his throat works with every breath. I slide in beside him, wrapping my arm through his.
What I wouldn’t do to take away the pain eatin’ him up. The coffin lowers, and we step forward to throw flower petals and dirt over it. Harry falters forward, plucking a handful of dirt from the pile and scattering it over the wooden surface.
I take up a handful of yellow wildflowers I found on one of the hills at the ranch. Unfurling my grasp, I watch as they float down into the now motionless resting place of Rosie.
Ma.
I chug through a sob and roll my lips together, trying and failing to tamp down the sorrow fighting its way out.
“Bye, Ma.” Harry’s raw and tortured words see me look up. He stands close, and his arm winds around my back. I rest my head on his shoulder.
“We should get to the community hall for the wake,” I say softly. I need to make sure everything is in place. Mama Mancini’s been helping me for the past day and half to ensure there is enough food and drink. Evelyn organized everything else.
We turn back and wander through the cemetery toward the truck, and Harry makes a detour. An old oak shades part of the southern end of the cemetery, and he pulls me toward it.
“Where are we goin’?” I utter.
“Not to the wake, that’s for damn sure.”
“Why not?”
“I ain’t sittin’ around, small talkin’ my way through folks feelin’ sorry for me. Or Ma.”
“I don’t think that’s really the intention...”
“Ain’t doin’ it, Lou. There’s no use rehashing what’s done.”
“Then where do you want to go?”
I lean against the tree. Harry stops in front of me, plucking his hat from his head. It spins through his fingers, the brim turning over and over like he’s always done. “Home.”
“I have a shift tomorrow. Early.” It’s a six o’clock start. It takes an hour to get to town from the ranch...
Harry stares off into the depths of nowhere, jaw clenching. “That tiny apartment isn’t your home, Louisa, and you know it.”
I do.
I have for a while now.
“What about when I work late at the restaurant? My little old Datsun isn’t exactly reliable.”
“Then I’ll drive you. Or you take the truck, if I’m not usin’ it.”
“I can’t ask you to do that...”
“You can and I will. I ain’t askin’, Lou. We’re doin’ this. I won’t stand to lose one more thing.”
I look up into the canopy of the old oak. Its dark green leaves move with the breeze, each one dancing like it has no care in the world. Closing my eyes, I rest my head back against the rough bark. With a deep, steady inhale I feel all the way down to my toes, I let the vision of what Harry is saying take over.
For the first time in my life, I’m in the right place, in the right moment. The pieces of my life I’ve been juggling precariously for years are slowly, carefully falling into place. The old tree at my back groans when the wind picks up, the branches swaying and leaves hissing.
Emotion drowns my senses.
I know it’s Rosie.
Her and her talkin’ to the trees.
Even when we were teenagers, she would say her prayers out in the fields, her words carried away by Mother Nature, not God. For these parts, even then, it was a bit odd. But her wisdom and love outshone anything else. As the breeze winds around the old trunk, wrapping me in its embrace, I know for sure it’s her.
“Harry?”
“Yeah, darlin’?” His words are grounded this time, his gaze pinning me where I stand.
“Take me home.”
He hesitates for a heartbeat, but when I push from the tree, closing the space between us to rest my palm over his heart, he understands.
“Yes, ma’am.”
His large, rough hand closes over mine on his shirt before he pushes his hat onto his head and leads me home.
* * *
The restaurant is bustling. I guess with folks still in town for Rosie’s service, it’s to be expected. People I don’t even remember strike up conversations as I try my best to alternate between cookin’ and waitin’ tables.
Upstairs, my bag is packed. The few possessions I have are bundled up and ready to go. Harry is following me home tonight, to make sure the Datsun gets there. After breaking down last time, he worries every time I drive her further than the town’s outer limits.
“Louisa, a moment, bambina?” Mama says, coming up behind me. I finish up with the table I’m clearing and follow her back to the kitchen, arms loaded with dirty plates and cutlery. Depositing them onto the counter by the sink, I wash my hands and lean against the counter.
“How are you?” Mama’s eyes are tight, concern lacing her features.
“I’m fine. Thanks again for letting me out of the apartment lease. I need to be where Harry is right now...”
Mama shakes her head. “We understand. Whatever we can do to help, just ask.”
I offer her a soft smile, glancing at the crowd through the pass.
“Louisa, if your plans have changed, we will understand.”
“Nothing changes with the restaurant, I promise. Only my living arrangements.”
She leans in, patting my hand as she says, “Okay, bambina, okay.”
With that, she wanders to the dining space, checking on patrons, clearing away. I turn back to clear the counter before helping with orders. I don’t want to back out on the restaurant. It’s something I can immerse myself in. Something to keep me grounded. I have wanted that feeling for so long.
When the last happy dinner customer has left satisfied, I lean on the front doorjamb, taking in the small, intimate space. Life happens in this little restaurant. Loved ones catch up on quality time. Conversations happen—the good, the easy... the hard.
The occasional proposal.
It’s nice to be part of something so central to the people of Lewistown. It’s almost as if Mama’s is the beating heart of the small town. Where Lewistown converges to find its soul. I sigh, letting my eyes close, trying to ignore the ache in my feet.
A voice clears from the sidewalk.
“You two need a moment?” the rough, familiar voice quips.
I open my eyes and push off the doorframe. Harry folds me into his embrace. I sink into him, letting the long day melt into his sturdy embrace.
“You makin’ eyes at this old place is kind of adorable, Lou.”
I push back and look up.
His arms still hold me close, his eyes lit up with mirth.
“For your information, Harrison Rawlins, the only time I ‘make eyes’ is when you’re around.”
“Is that so,” he says softly with a chuckle, leaning in, his lips brushing past my ear as he takes a swift, light nibble. My body instantly presses against his again. “I think it’s time to go home, Lou.”
Untangling myself from his tight hold, I yawn. “Sure is. Wait a sec while I lock up and grab my stuff?”
“How about this. You lock up, and I’ll grab your bags.”
“Bag. There’s only one.”
He chuckles, dotting a kiss to the crown of my head as he walks inside and up the stairs. I finish as fast as I can and close up. Harry stands at the front door, waitin’ as I say my goodbyes and head out. Locking the front door and leaving the back for Mama to take care of, I follow Harry to the truck.
“I thought you’re following me out?”
“Nah, I want you close. Besides, we can do it next week.”
As if he read my mind, I sag with relief. I am too exhausted to drive across the street, let alone an hour home.
Home .
It sounds more right every time I say it.
Placing my bag in the back of the pickup, he holds my door open. I hesitate on the sidewalk, taking one last look up to the window that was my apartment. At the almost deserted Main Street of Lewistown I have been living in for months. It’s silly, really. I mean, I’ll be back for my shift at the diner in two days.
Still, it’s a significant change.
Warmth folds around me from behind. Stubble sweeps over my neck. “Come on, darlin’.”
I spin in his hold, and he sweeps me up. I hum as he deposits my weary body on the passenger’s seat. He fills the doorway, arms resting on the roof of the truck, head dipped. “One last question...”
I look up at him. The angles of his jaw are tight. His eyes are fueled by intensity as he studies my face. Throat working, he swallows. He opens his mouth, but slams it shut again.
His eyes close, and I need to know what is goin’ on in that head of his.
“What is it, Harry?”
He taps on the roof with a finger before pushing off suddenly. “Nah, forget it, was stupid. Let’s get you home.”
He shuts the door, and my gaze is stuck on him as he rounds the front of the vehicle, opens his door, sinks into his seat, and fires up the truck.
Okay... What’s that all about?
I figure I should let it go, maybe ask later. As the truck travels past the little town’s outskirts, I lean against the window. Sleep drags me into its abyss.