Chapter 34 #2
In fact, I’d been happier doing that than bouncing around Podunk cities for a decade.
All those miles I’d traveled, and I never got anywhere.
I was the same sad kid who lost his mom.
Maybe not with drugs or alcohol, but I was still throwing my life away, avoiding everything that felt hard and calling it happiness.
“You were right,” I told him. “I was gonna run. But maybe I should sleep on it, first?”
“Yeah. I guess.”
“And maybe I’ll see you at the ranch tomorrow morning?”
Luke lifted a skinny shoulder.
“Well, I hope I do. You’re the best ranch hand I’ve got.”
“I’m your only ranch hand.” But there was a smile under the attitude.
“Same rules though. No drugs. No alcohol. You’re feeling low, we’ll go for a ride. Or I’ll hang a punching bag in the garage, and we’ll beat the crap out of it. Deal?”
“Yeah. Cool.”
It felt like a miracle, and I wondered if a man was entitled to more than one? “See you tomorrow.”
Luke’s mom walked me to my truck with tears in her eyes. “That was-you’re just-If you ever need anything, ever, please ask.”
“Luke’s a great kid.” With thoughts and feelings that had nowhere to go. I pulled open the driver’s door. I had no business telling his mom how to parent, but I could give him space every morning to do his thing. “Bring him by at seven?”
“Absolutely!”
It seemed all my dumb choices finally turned into something useful. Funny how that made me regret them a little less.
There were no trucks out front when I pulled up to Dad’s ranch. Weird. Where is everyone? A lucky break, though. That gave me time to work out what to say. A pitch for the plan that started brewing when I pulled away from Luke’s house.
How do you start a youth program? Ava would know. She was smart, resourceful, and organized. She could write business plans in her sleep.
But first ... I shoved my keys into my pocket and circled the hood of my truck to the mudroom entrance.
Up the studio stairs, into the room that started off as a prison.
I’d pegged “home” as fences and HOA rules decorated to disguise your cage.
But maybe I had it wrong. Maybe home wasn’t a cage.
Maybe it was a safety net while you figured everything else out? A place where you could sleep on it.
I stopped in the middle of the studio and did a full 360.
Where is it?
I checked all the drawers, under the bed, and in the bathroom, but my hat wasn’t anywhere.
What the heck? Down to the garage, I dug through toolboxes and all the crap on the workbench.
That’s when panic started rising. How frigging stupid was I?
Why did I leave it? I didn’t remember going there, but I stomped through the mudroom into the kitchen, flipping on the light.
My feet froze.
“Were you looking for this?” Ava asked. Her back was to me. She was sitting at the table, facing the window, and there, in her hands, was the thing I’d been looking for.
My heart thudded. “Yeah. Where did you find it?”
“In your room.”
Ava was in my room? Hope turned me drunk and reckless. I crossed the kitchen and took a seat opposite her. She was tracing the stitching on the bill of my hat and avoided my eyes when she handed it to me.
“Thanks.” I didn’t expect to see her yet. I had no idea what to say.
She twisted a can of beer that sat in front of her. “I didn’t mean you had to leave, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The focus she gave her drink would’ve made any man jealous.
She’d told me she wanted less, so how did I tell her that just being in the room with her felt right?
Making her smile was like smiling myself.
Holding her grounded me in a way I never knew existed.
That I didn’t just like her. The words were begging to come out. But if I blew it?
I turned my hat over in my hands. “Where is everyone?”
Her eyes finally found mine, so dull and tired. “At the library.”
“This late?”
She shrugged.
My foot tapped under the table. I glanced behind me at the bed of my truck, full of stuff. I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t let her sit there like that and keep my feelings to myself. For once, I wasn’t itching to escape. I itched for a plan. “Good.”
“Good?” Confusion looked beautiful on her. Everything did.
Why couldn’t this work? We liked each other, and we made a killer team.
How could that be more? There had to be an overlap between the two ranches.
Heck, I could complete the stuff at Dad’s in a few hours with Luke and give her the rest of my day.
I’d do it for free. And if it was too much, I’d wait. She wouldn’t be overwhelmed forever.
“Good,” I repeated. “’Cause I wanted to talk to you.”
“Eli, I–”
“Are you gonna drink that?” I nodded to her beer.
“Probably not.” Her eyes grew wide as she watched me chug half the can.
At least now I had her attention. “I need your help with something. Advice. On how to start a youth program.”
“I–A–” she stammered, blinking hypnotic lashes at me. “You want to start a youth program? Where?
“Here.”
“Here?”