Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
I’m ashamed to admit that as soon as I recovered from that mind-blowing orgasm, I bolted from the range, my heart racing and my chest heaving.
With my mind trying to make sense of what just happened, I stumble, trying to pull my pants back on while shoving my panties into the pocket.
I’m in such a hurry, I leave my gun behind, but I’ll grab it in the morning.
The elevator can’t come quick enough, but neither Tristan nor Xavier follow me, and I have to feel grateful for their restraint.
I’m both mortified and tempted to go back and see what else might happen.
When the elevator arrives, it makes up my mind for me.
I step in, and the doors close just as the range door opens, and I see Tristan and Xavier step out.
Sage and I discussed this previously, but to be honest, I kind of thought it would never happen.
Prior to Sage, I was very much inexperienced when it came to romantic entanglements and used sex with women as an outlet in the past, but never did I ever feel an emotional connection to any of them.
What just happened was way beyond what I expected.
It felt like it was on the same level of what Sage and I have, and that is disconcerting, because I know less than nothing about those two and only a small amount more about Vienna and Colton.
Am I so much of a mess that I’m grabbing onto any form of affection with both hands, damning the consequences?
I bypass the ground level and take the elevator straight up to the level my bedroom is on.
I have no desire to see them with my face flushed from pleasure, guilt, and regret.
I rush down the hallway past Gio’s room, grateful there aren’t any sex noises coming from it, before thrusting open my bedroom door and hurrying into my bathroom.
I’m breathing heavily when I brace my shaking hands on the sink and lift my head to look at myself.
My curls are a mess from Tristan running his hands through them when he was kissing me, and my cheeks are red.
My eyes glisten with tears, my emotions so close to the surface that they are about to erupt.
“Fuck, Fuck,” I sob as I drop my head again, not wanting to look at myself.
Instead, I leave the bathroom, strip off my clothes, climb into bed, and curl up on one side, trying to scrub the vision of Tristan and Xavier between my legs from my mind.
It’s almost impossible. Watching them kiss before they spread my legs so they could both eat me out is something I’m never going to forget.
The feeling of Xavier’s fingers thrusting deep into my channel while Tristan flicked his tongue across my clit was mesmerizing.
Both of them looked like they couldn’t get enough of me, and damn, I liked it a lot.
“Ugh!” I scream into my pillow and bang my fist against the mattress. “I am so fucked.”
“Tori?” I hear my bedroom door open, and Sage steps into the dark room, his silhouette highlighted by the hallway light. “Are you okay?” I hear concern in his voice as he shuts the door behind him and walks over to the bed.
“Yeah,” I mumble from behind the pillow.
“Did they do something you didn’t want? Because I’ll go back there and gut them.
” There is a hard promise in Sage’s tone as he sits down.
I pull the pillow off my face to look at him.
My room is dark, only illuminated by the light I left on in the bathroom, but it’s enough to make out his features.
He’s frowning, and I can see how tense his body is.
If I don’t reassure him, he will make good on his threat.
I huff out a breath and shake my head. “No, and that’s the problem,” I admit, and his body loses some tension, his shoulders relaxing.
He stands up and peels off his jeans and shirt, leaving him in his briefs before he slides into my bed.
He wraps his arms around me, spooning me from behind, before nuzzling my neck.
“Hmm, you smell like Tris. So it was good? What’s bothering you? ”
I close my eyes, even though I’m not looking at him, because I’m about to admit something I haven’t ever admitted out loud before.
“You know, I kind of understand why Gio is the way he is. This is no life for a teenager. I don’t want to manage this fucking organization.
Sometimes I want to say fuck it and just let another family absorb the Russos, but then I think about my dad and how he died for this family, and he would be so disappointed in me, and I feel guilty as fuck. ”
“So you feel guilty for enjoying yourself with Tris and Xavi?”
“Yeah, and selfish and all sorts of self-loathing. I don’t know how I’m going to face them in the morning. I ran out of the range like my ass was on fire.” I roll my face into the pillow and groan. “They must think I’m an idiot.”
“No, baby, they were worried they upset you. They told us about the bet and insisted I come and make sure you are alright. Vienna was yelling at them when I left.”
“Are we doing the right thing?” I roll over and face Sage, wanting to see him when he answers my question. “Are we not just setting ourselves up for a whole heap of heart break and disappointment?”
He purses his lips before answering. “We could be, but life is boring without a little risk, and it would be pretty lonely going through life avoiding making connections because we are scared to. I know it’s more difficult for you, having to always be conscious of people’s motives, not to mention dangerous if you trust the wrong person, but that’s no way to live.
I don’t want you to end up looking back and regretting your life, and if we are making a mistake, then at least we’re doing it together.
” He squeezes me before giving me a kiss on the lips.
I sigh and sink into his embrace, enjoying how his mostly naked body feels against mine.
“I want to do it again,” I whisper into his chest, admitting how I feel out loud. “I want to experience everything the four of them have to offer.”
“So you aren’t kicking them out?” he asks, holding me tighter.
“No. Even if I’m making the biggest mistake of our lives, I’m going to enjoy it.
I have so much stress in my professional life, having four other people for us to come home to might be nice for a change, right?
” I ask, wanting to hear his opinion, because this involves more than just me.
I know he said it before, but I need his solid reassurance.
Sage has become my rock, and I won’t jeopardize that.
“Four very sexy people,” he growls in my ear. “You know I’m all in as long as you are happy. The minute that changes, I’ll ask them to leave myself. I was going to tonight, but you seemed to enjoy dinner.”
“It wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it was going to be,” I murmur, and he chuckles.
“I thought you were going to stab Gio with your knife when he asked what we had been up to.”
“God, he’s such an idiot. When did my intelligent, business savvy brother become such a fucking moron?” I grumble.
“I think it happened right around the time he looked into a pair of pretty blue eyes and fell madly in love.”
“I’m in love with you, but that hasn’t turned me into an idiot.” I lift my head to look at him, and he smiles, his eyes soft with love.
“I know, babe, but you’re amazing. Women can multitask so much better than men.
Even I can admit that.” He winks, when it makes me laugh, I realize all the turmoil and guilt has seeped away.
Just having him here to support and hold me while I’m being dramatic is fucking everything.
I press a kiss above his heart and snuggle into him.
“I do love you, more and more each day,” I murmur and close my eyes, knowing I’m going to need a good night’s sleep to be at my best tomorrow morning.
“And I you.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head, and we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
Despite having fallen asleep holding one another, I wake to find myself just about dangling off the edge, again.
I grumble as I toss the covers back and slide my feet to the floor.
This is becoming an issue. Sage is spread out just like he was every day this week, and I’ve just about had enough of it.
He can sleep in his own damn bed until he learns to share.
I use the bathroom before putting on my workout gear and heading to the gym.
I need to let Lorn and Castiel know I’m back and ready to train again.
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had a session, and I feel like a good workout.
When I get to the gym, I freeze in the doorway.
Xavier is lifting weights, and I’m not quite sure how to face him after I ran from him last night.
My nose wrinkles at the smell of sweat and gym equipment.
No matter how often the room is cleaned, it just doesn’t lose that scent.
Xavier hasn’t noticed me yet or is pretending not to, and I appreciate the effort if that’s the case.
I decide to warm up on the treadmill and head straight for it, my shoes silent on the mats in the middle of the room for sparring.