Chapter 16 Knox
KNOX
SINNERS AND SAINTS GROUP CHAT
Ryker: Who the fuck added “Inmate #I-Can’t-Remember-His-Number” to this group chat????
Axel: Oops. I meant to add him to MY chat and Contacts.
Axel: Don’t forget to hide the phone up your ass, Knox. High enough to bend over and spread ’em for a body search. *Smirking emoji*
Blake: Do NOT do that. The phone would become medically lodged and require surgery.
Me: Axel, you fucking idiot. I told you NOT to tell them I got this phone!
Ryker: Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Ryker: Knox. Get rid of the phone. NOW.
Axel: Relax, Dad. This isn’t his first rodeo. *Eye roll emoji*
Ryker: Axel, are you a moron? Wait. Let me rephrase. Obviously, you’re a moron. You’re the KING of all morons. Do you NOT care about getting Knox into trouble?
Axel: Just for that, I’m putting “King” in my Instagram bio for sneaking him that phone. *Crown emoji*
Blake: Axel, you realize you just admitted to smuggling contraband into a federal prison. In writing. In a group chat.
Axel: …
Axel: I plead the Fifth.
Ryker: That’s not how that works.
Axel: Objection.
Ryker: THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS EITHER.
Me: Can you two shut the fuck up? You’re draining my battery.
Jace: How did you even get the phone in there?
Axel: It actually wasn’t his ass, if that’s what you’re thinking.
Blake: I wasn’t. But now I am. Thanks for that. *Eye roll emoji*
Ryker: I’ve told you. REPEATEDLY. Cell phones are against policy. He could get in serious trouble. Parole boards do not smile upon prisoners who violate the rules.
Axel: “Smile upon”? What are you, a Victorian lawyer?
Ryker: Knox, do you have NO desire to get out of fucking prison?
Me: Bold question to ask a man who’s been in a cage for fourteen years.
Axel: Ooooh. Dark.
Ryker: You know what? If no one listens to my legal advice, why am I giving it? Why do I even bother?
Axel: Because you love us. *Heart hands emoji*
Ryker: Axel. I’m coming over. Right now. You and I are going to have a fucking talk about this.
Axel: Can’t. I’m not home.
Ryker: I can see your location. You’re literally in your living room.
Axel: That’s … a glitch.
Ryker: You posted an Instagram story FOUR MINUTES AGO of you eating on your couch.
Axel: Deepfake.
Jace: Axel, just take the loss.
Axel: [Removed Ryker from the chat.]
Blake: Axel, that’s only going to make him more pissed.
Jace: He’s definitely driving over there now. *Laughing out loud emoji*
Axel: Worth it.
Blake: [Added Ryker to the chat.]
Ryker: I’m in my car.
Axel: Drive safe! Wear your seat belt! Love you, Dad!
Ryker: I’m going to kill you with my bare hands.
Axel: Kinky. *Smirking emoji*
Blake: Please stop saying that.
Axel: BLAKE. Why would you add him back?! I was having a MOMENT.
Jace: Ryker’s not wrong though. Knox, maybe you should hand over the phone.
Blake: Agreed. The risk outweighs the reward here.
Axel: Fuck that. He didn’t make parole the last two years. He gets rid of the phone and then what? Stares at a wall for the rest of his sentence? Reads the same four library books? Counts ceiling tiles?
Me: I’m keeping the phone.
Ryker: Knox, next time I see you, we’re having a fucking chat about this.
Me: Can’t wait.
Ryker: Don’t get cute with me.
Me: Wouldn’t dream of it.
Axel: Also, can we talk about how Knox showed up to visitation, looking like he lost a fight with a brick wall? *Fist emoji*
Blake: Wait, what?
Axel: Busted knuckles. Fat lip.
Blake: Knox?
Me: Drop it.
Axel: Oh, you didn’t know? Our boy here has been collecting fat lips like fucking Pokémon.
Axel: Gotta catch ’em all. *Smiling emoji*
Ryker: Fights AND a contraband cell phone. Why don’t you just CANCEL your parole hearing, Knox? Save us all the suspense.
Me: I said, drop it.
Jace: Are you at least winning these fights?
Me: What do you think?
Axel: He’s winning. Look at him. He’s a goddamn tank. *Flexing emoji*
Blake: That’s … not the point, Axel.
Axel: It’s a little bit the point.
Blake: It’s not.
Jace: Who are you fighting? And why?
Me: No one. And none of your business.
Jace: That’s two different answers.
Me: And yet somehow, both apply.
Axel: See, this is why he needed the phone. The man is clearly going through something.
Ryker: The man is clearly TRYING TO SABOTAGE HIMSELF, is what he’s doing.
Ryker: What is so important and mysterious that you suddenly and secretly want a phone? What are you going to do with it?
Axel: Porn.
Blake: Axel.
Axel: What? It’s a valid guess!
Jace: It’s definitely not porn.
Axel: How do you know?
Jace: Because it’s Knox. He’d rather do push-ups than admit he has human needs.
Me: I’m right here.
Jace: We know.
Ryker: Knox, answer the question. Why do you suddenly want a phone that you’re keeping secret from the rest of us?
Me: Nothing you need to worry about.
Ryker: That’s the LEAST reassuring thing you could have said.
Axel: Told you. Porn. *Smirking emoji*
Ryker: [Removed Axel from the chat.]
Ryker: Finally. Some fucking peace.
Axel: [Added himself to the chat.]
Axel: You can’t get rid of me that easily, bitches.
Ryker: HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!
Axel: Magic.