Chapter 8 #2
It’s wedding nerves, that’s all it is. Perfectly normal.
I’ve been through this before. I don’t remember most of it, that time a blur and the memories deliberately forgotten at the bottom of a bottle, but that doesn’t change the facts.
I got through it then; I can get through it now.
And the result this time will be so much more worth the effort because Lake will be the one standing with me at the end of the aisle.
“This silence between us is a good sign,” Sebastian says, neatly slicing through my thoughts and dragging me back to reality.
“What?”
“Are you about to propose to me? I’m ready.”
“You like listening to yourself talk, don’t you?”
“With a voice like mine, why not?”
I can’t help rolling my eyes, the clock turning back, and I’m suddenly a petulant teenager again. “I could take it or leave it.”
Sebastian leans back against the opposite counter, crossing his arms over his chest and stretching the arms of his white button-down. “Did something specific happen that bothered you?”
Am I really doing this? Here, and with this man, of all people?
I close my eyes briefly. Fuck it. “He thought she might be the one, once. And they broke up because she moved, not because he chose to break up.” That wasn’t quite what I’d meant to say, but now that it’s out there, a new fear’s been unlocked.
“And she’s back, and you’re worried that what? They’re going to pick up where they left off?”
“Has anyone told you how immensely helpful you are?” It’s not one of my fears, exactly. They’re both in relationships, and she seemed happy about hers. It’s more the idea of it and my fucked-up fears all getting tangled together.
“More than you’d think.”
“I would have picked zero.” Does that even need to be said?
“It’s been at least once if I dust off the old memory. Should I count this as a second time?”
“Sure, knock your socks off.” The long drink of water going down my throat doesn’t help me feel better. “When did Quinn say he was getting back?”
“He didn’t.”
Great. I’ll finish this bottle and leave. It’s not like I won’t see him tomorrow at work.
“Have you thought about… you know, talking to Lake about it?” Sebastian suggests, his eyebrow piercing moving as he arches his eyebrow. “I hear communication is great for relationships.”
“What are you, a therapist now?”
“Second job, to pay the bills.”
I almost snort out my water. Like he isn’t charging anyone who wants to hire him a fucking fortune. “He doesn’t need to know that I’m being an idiot.”
“At least you acknowledge that you’re being an idiot.”
I hope my glare eviscerates him. “I don’t think therapists are supposed to be this insulting.”
“The insults cost extra. I’m highly sought after.”
Finishing the water, I nudge it away from me.
“Send me the bill. How is it that there are five of you living here, and you’re the only one home right now?
” With such a full house, how is it ever empty?
It’s after work hours; shouldn’t they all be here?
I’d take speaking to Jericho over Sebastian, and that says a lot, considering I disapprove entirely of the operation he and his brother run.
“Must be your lucky day.”
Not how I’d describe it. Not even on the same continent of thought. Before I can respond, my phone goes off in my pocket.
Lake.
A smile forms at his name. I doubt there will ever be a time where seeing him, or merely seeing his name, won’t make my heart flutter. I’ve turned into a fucking sap.
“Hey, you’re not at home,” Lake says as soon as I answer. “You didn’t answer my message, and I was getting worried.”
The beer and water churn uncomfortably in my stomach.
“You just got home?” What were you doing?
sits on the tip of my tongue. It sounds too much like an accusation, even in my head, too close to the surface.
Lake doesn’t deserve that kind of distrust, and I can’t let those kinds of feelings fester. They have no place with us.
“Yeah. Do you want me to make dinner? I can find a recipe online that won’t involve burning anything down, and Riley can help.”
“He’s still with you?” Are his foster parents not wondering where he is? It took Quinn and me almost three hours to get through the scene and talk to witnesses. Lake hadn’t said anything about it, and the kid wasn’t at the station, so I figured he’d dropped him home.
“He refused to tell me his address, or the number to his foster parents, and my detective skills are a bit rustier than yours. I figured you’d deal with it when we got home. But you are not here.”
“I’ll talk to him. I’m just out at Quinn’s right now.”
“Oh, cool! Say hi for me. Are you staying long? I want to see your face.” The hopeful lilt to his voice does me in. What the fuck am I even doing here when I could be with him?
“I’m leaving now,” I say, already standing. Sebastian’s knowing look can take a long work off a short pier. He’s not half as amusing as he thinks he is.
Checking my keys are still in my pocket, I head for the front door. Sebastian gives me a little wave and then makes the universal gesture for “call me.” I ignore all of it. Sometimes it’s just best not to engage with certain behaviour.