Chapter 13
Chapter thirteen
Lake
I need to talk to someone. Well, not someone. Not anyone. A specific person. I don’t know who, but this seems like the kind of thing that needs a particular kind of person and not just a random passerby on the street.
Something is wrong with Grady. It’s subtle, and thankfully, it’s not directed at me. But I’d like to think that even after this “short” amount of time together, I know the person I’m about to marry. I know Grady.
Asking him hasn’t given me the outcome I wanted. He won’t talk to me, which is frustrating, but his picture is under the word “stubborn” in the dictionary. If dictionaries had pictures, anyway. Children’s ones do, I think. Maybe that’s just learning new words. I have no idea.
Grady is also pretty good at distracting me with sex.
And food. And random TV shows, with food.
Add in sex, and it’s an amazing trifecta.
I’m a simple, easy man, and I’m alright with that.
I need to add in Grady too. Which makes four.
What’s the word for that? Doesn’t matter.
I could probably live on just Grady forever. Like a Grady diet.
Mmm, the Grady Diet.
What it means, though, is that I need to find someone else to talk to about it to get perspective and figure out what my next move is.
Not Avery. Maybe Avery? No. A terrible idea.
My brother still squints suspiciously at Grady when we have dinner together, like he’s looking for a flaw he can exploit.
No, I need someone who’s more neutral. Or has the ability to be more neutral, in any case. And someone who will smack me upside the head without hesitation if I’m being weird and ridiculous.
After asking a half dozen soldiers, and going to the wrong building twice, I find Zach’s feet hanging out the bottom of a Black Hawk, curse words coming from underneath the machinery.
“Need some help?”
The curses stop, then a very intelligent snort sounds. “From you? Pass.”
“That’s rude. I can hold a spanner like a pro.”
“I’m not using a spanner. You need something? I’m a little busy.”
He sounds busy, but this is important, and he’s great at multitasking. “I need… advice?”
“If you need help with sex after all these months, then I think you and Grady need to talk more.”
“How would talking more help if we were having sex problems?” I question, tilting my head in confusion. Feels like if that were the issue, then a little more action is needed. “Besides, our sex life is incredible. I’d keep Grady in bed for weeks if I thought I could get away with it.”
“Try to get up to shower and eat, at least,” Zach says absently, voice lightly muffled. “Is that all you needed? Good talk.”
“Not quite, but I appreciate your interest in my sex life. I’m not going to ask you about yours.” I already know way too much about it as it is. Less now, at least, thank fuck.
Something clangs, and then Zach curses. “Fuck. Son of a bitch.”
“I don’t think my mother would appreciate you saying that about her.” She’d give him a look until he chose, totally by himself, to correct his behaviour.
Zach scrambles out from under the bird like a crab. “Lake, what is going on? Is something wrong? Did Grady do something?” The last question comes out as more of a growl.
Grabbing his hand, I help haul him up. “Not technically?” That’s the truth as I’m aware of it at this stage. Grady hasn’t done anything. I could be seeing shadows where there are none. I’d just rather be sure instead of having it sitting in the back of my mind.
“What does that mean?” Zach narrows his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the side of the bird. “Do I need to hurt someone?”
“What? No!” Even if he wanted to… “He’s pretty big; are you sure you want to do that?”
“I’m aware how big he is.”
“You’d still fight him for me?”
Zach rolls his eyes. “I’m kind of hoping I won’t have to, but yes, Lake, I would. You’re my best friend, and I have a better chance of getting a hit in than Avery, despite him being a little hellcat.”
“I guess it’s a good thing that you do not have to fight him, then. I’m not sure he’s the problem.”
“I need a translator when I’m talking to you.” He strokes his jaw contemplatively. “Did you do something in the last few days?”
“I don’t think so but maybe? I asked him if he still wanted to get married, and he said yes, and I don’t think he’s lying to me exactly, but there’s a disconnect somewhere.”
Zach sighs and crouches down beside his toolbox, fiddling through it. There are a bunch of wires beside it that I vaguely recognise, though if I got tested on them right now, I’d be hard-pressed to remember.
“Okay, let’s go back over your schedule for the last few days.”
“How will that help?”
“Lake.”
“My mum and I, along with a teenage kid named Mini-Riley, went shopping for flowers because Grady had a dead body to look at, and then Mini-Riley stayed the night, and I took him home and stopped off at this donut place that makes the best strawberry donuts, and for a second breakfast, I ate them off Grady’s—”
“Lake,” Zach interrupts. “The short version. And thanks, I will never be able to eat a strawberry donut ever again.”
“You’re welcome. Grady had to work Saturday, so he couldn’t go with me to see Sadie for coffee. Uh, after that—”
Zach holds up a hand. “Sadie?”
“Yeah, and then—”
“Your ex, Sadie?”
“We’ve already established it was Sadie.
So what?” That was the least interesting part of my week.
Did he forget about the donut part? The strawberry glaze on Grady’s hard dick will be part of my highlight reel forever.
Best second breakfast ever. Best first breakfast. Next time I should have it first.
“Why?” Zach asks, looking at me like I’m the dumbest person in the world. That seems unfair; I’m sure I’m a little higher up than that.
“Because we were friends, and I haven’t seen her for ages, so we were catching up?”
“You were never friends with her.”
“I think you have to be friends with a person to date them.” Why would I date someone if I didn’t like them? That seems counterproductive. And pointless.
“Is she back on holiday or something?” Zach asks, frowning. “Why is she contacting you now?”
He makes it sound way more sinister than it is. “We ran into her the other day. She moved back and is getting married soon. Small world, right?”
The news doesn’t seem to make Zach any happier. “You don’t see a problem at all, do you?”
Maybe if he’d explain what’s up his butt, I might. “Just spit it out.” What am I missing? I had coffee with a friend, what’s the big deal?
Zach studies me for a second and then unfolds his arms, shoving his hands in his pockets. “What did Grady say about it?”
“Nothing. I asked him if he wanted to come, but he had to work. I already said that.”
“He had to work on a Saturday?”
“He does that sometimes.” It’s not the first time he’s needed to do that. Hell, sometimes I have to head on base for a few hours over the weekend if there’s something pressing that I need to get done. Why is Zach asking pointless questions? He’s supposed to be helping me with my problem.
“You don’t think he might have had a problem with it?” Zach asks slowly.
“Why would he?” That doesn’t make any sense. If he did, he hadn’t said anything. And it’s not like I have any interest whatsoever in Sadie. I haven’t thought about her in a long time, and Grady consumes my whole world. Not to mention, she’s getting married. It’s like Zach’s not even listening.
“Riddle me this,” Zach says. “If Grady said he was going to catch up with his ex Mal, what would you think?”
“I’d question his sanity.” I have nothing nice to say about Grady’s ex, either of them for that matter, and neither does he. The less we think about him at all, the better. He can rot for all I care. Grady’s mine now.
“But you wouldn’t care if he insisted on it?”
I shift on my feet uncomfortably. “I don’t…
” Just imagining Grady staring over the table at someone that had once touched him intimately, that knows what he looks like naked, and the magic of his tongue, is unpleasant, at best. It makes me want to hit something, and I’m not generally a violent person.
“I wouldn’t tell him that he couldn’t.” I don’t get to control who Grady spends time with. I refuse to be that person.
“But you’d want to.”
“So what?” I ask defensively. What does that have to do with anything? Sometimes I want to push soldiers out of a helicopter, too, and I don’t do that.
Zach rubs his forehead like I’m physically paining him. “You have to look at it from his point of view, Lake. The last time he was engaged, his fiancé cheated on him with a woman—a friend of theirs—and got her pregnant. Does this not feel like déjà vu to you?”
“No.” Not even close. I’m not going to get her pregnant, what the fuck?
“She’s getting married! We didn’t—there wasn’t any—I didn’t touch her.
” I couldn’t even fathom touching her in that way.
Touching anyone else in that way. They aren’t Grady.
The very thought just makes me feel mildly ill, like the beginnings of a stomach virus. Grady’s my person. Forever.
“He trusts you, Lake. I don’t think that he thinks you did either. But it might still hurt. Our fears aren’t always rational, and we can try to logic our way out of them—I imagine he’s had a few talks to himself about it—but banishing them isn’t that easy.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Well, why didn’t he say anything?” He should have said something. I assumed that he would if we had a problem. Why is he keeping that from me? I’d never have gone, never even have entertained the thought if I’d known it would upset him. She’s not worth that.
“You’ve met him, right? He’s a stubborn guy, Lake. Do you really think he’s just going to blurt out his problems without a push?”
I’m gonna give him a push, alright. Right out the fucking window.