Chapter 23
Chapter twenty-three
Grady
I never realised just how much life Lake brings to every day until he’s not here.
Too-quiet mornings and lonely nights make up my time.
Hades keeps waiting at the door, expecting Lake to come through it.
I have to admit that I’m doing it in a way too.
Every time a car drives past, I tense, like one of them will turn into the driveway, and Lake will come in with a bright smile and a crazy story from his day.
Two days into his deployment, I do the house walk-through and interview for fostering. Without Lake there, things feel more hopeless than usual, and I don’t think we’ll get approved. Not until he’s back and able to do it with me.
He’s texted a few times and called once. He sounded tired, and all I wanted to do was hug him. Whatever the spec-ops guys are doing, they need to hurry the fuck up so I can have my fiancé—no, my husband—back.
A week into his deployment, I get confirmation from Annie that the police checks have gone through, the rest of it went through without a hitch, and I can collect Riley from his foster home that afternoon.
Parking on the kerb right in front of the house, I can’t help but feel like something is missing. Lake should be here for this. He’s the one that started it.
I’ll just have to finish it for him and make sure that Riley is set up and comfortable before Lake gets home. Show Lake that he can rely on me for all things.
Riley has all his things packed up, though he still looks like he thinks I’m going to bolt at the first scare and leave him behind.
“This everything?” I grunt, looking at the one bag and backpack. Kid travels light. He won’t once Lake is done shopping for him.
“What were you expecting?” Riley replies in a surly tone. “A couple of suitcases and a piano?”
“Do you play the piano?” I reply sarcastically.
Before he can touch it, I pick up his bag.
It’s unsurprisingly light. Christ, no wonder he thinks the world is out to get him; it certainly hasn’t treated him right.
I’m sure his parents hadn’t wanted this for him, hadn’t ever imagined their child being treated like this.
I’ll make sure he never is again, that the life they would have given him is honoured.
He should have been loved and cared for from the start.
He slumps once in the car, tense. Still waiting for me to tell him to get out.
Sure enough, halfway into the car ride, he says, “Why are you doing this?”
“Everyone deserves a chance.”
“That’s a cop-out answer.”
He’s not wrong. “Lake grew up with two loving parents. The open way they show love made him into the incredible man he is now. I was raised by my father, who was everything a parent should be. He never made me feel like I was missing out by not having a mother. You never got that.”
“So what?” Riley says defensively. “I’m somehow defective?”
“No, I think you’re incredibly resilient.” The nearest shopping centre is twenty minutes from here, so I head in that direction. “You deserve better than the start you had, and we can give you that. It’s not more complicated than that.”
“I’m a screwup.”
He’s digging deep to throw reasons at me, thinking that I’ll pick one and run with it. Use it as an excuse to bail.
“You’re a good kid who’s made some incredibly stupid decisions.
It doesn’t have to continue that way if you don’t want it to.
” Stopping at a set of red lights, I turn to him.
“We can give you a stable home and opportunities. It’s up to you what you do with them.
You want to continue on the path you’re on?
The point where you are now you can blame on the system, on what you’ve been through and the lack of adult support. Where you go from here? That’s on you.”
He doesn’t respond to that, but I know I’ve given him something to think about. We can only do so much for him, help him so far. The rest has to be on him.
He frowns when I pull into the parking lot. “What are we doing here?”
“I need to pick up a few things. You’re not staying in the car.”
“Worried I’ll steal something?” he shoots at me, scrambling out and slamming the door shut.
“No, because I’m getting you a few new clothes. But hey, if you want me to pick them out for you, you’re welcome to stay here.”
His face scrunches up. “Don’t do me any favours.”
I tap the top of the car. “Let’s get something straight.
This isn’t a favour. Nothing we do after this point is a favour.
You don’t owe us anything, and we aren’t keeping score.
You’re now under our care, and we’re responsible for you.
That means feeding you, clothing you, putting a roof over your head, and helping you make better decisions. ”
His lips flatten, and a muscle in his jaw twitches.
It’s less anger and more overwhelming emotion that he doesn’t know what to do with.
I can relate to that. Before Lake, I was a master at keeping emotions inside, not letting them out or letting myself feel them.
He needs time and a safe environment to help him thrive.
“Where is Lake?” he asks as we head inside.
“He’s been deployed; he should be back soon.” I hope. Having no timeline is a particular kind of torture.
“Oh.”
“You’re stuck with me for now.”
“Great.”
In the end, we get him a couple of outfits, a few jackets, a new phone—after an argument that I’m sure made everyone think we’ve been father and son for forever—and a few PlayStation games for the console Lake already has at home.
He’ll need a laptop for school, and other things for his room, but I know that Lake wanted to do this for him.
Now he has enough to get him through until my soldier returns.
After the grocery shopping, I grab a few smoothies from Boost Juice, and we head home.
Avery’s car is already in the driveway when we arrive. I extended the invite because I wanted a piece of Lake in the house even if only by extension. His parents are… a lot, so I went to the one person I have at least something in common with in the McKenna family.
He’s in the living room, flicking through channels, with Hades next to him. As soon as he sees us, he stands. “Hey, thought you’d never get home.”
“Had to do some shopping.” He follows us into the kitchen, and I put down my bags before letting Hades outside. Riley puts his own bags next to mine and then awkwardly shuffles his feet. “Riley, this is Avery, Lake’s younger brother. Avery, Riley.” I hate introductions.
Avery eyes the kid suspiciously. Hilariously, Riley is already taller than him. And he’s still got growing to go, whereas Avery has reached his peak. “Lake’s taken a huge chance bringing you here, you better not fuck it up.”
“I’m not going to.”
Avery nods. “We’ll see.” He turns his focus on me. “Have you heard from him?”
“I spoke to him yesterday.” If one sentence and a heart from him counts as speaking to him. He’s explained that his regular deployments aren’t like this, that he’d usually be in contact way more often. This one is an aberration in a lot of ways.
“I haven’t heard from Felix. Zach says it’s normal, but…” He trails off with a shrug.
I get it. It’s his first deployment since getting into a relationship with Lake’s two best friends. I’d be twitchy and vibrating out of my skin if I hadn’t heard from Lake at all. However brief, any communication keeps me calm.
“Can I go put this stuff in my room?” Riley asks, standing uncomfortably.
“You don’t have to ask permission to go to your room, unless we’re eating dinner.”
He hesitates and then nods, taking off like he’s being chased.
“Skittish kid.”
“He’s dealt with a lot.” More than I think any of us have. There’s a difference between seeing hard lives through my work and living one.
“I bet.” Avery slides onto a stool, watching me as I put away the groceries. “I thought Lake was pulling my leg when he told me about Riley.” He leans forward, elbows on the counter. “He’s always been impulsive, but this is something else. Was this your idea?”
“Not quite.” Riley needs better adult influences in his life, and I was willing and prepared to be that for him, as an anchor when he needs it.
Lake is the one who took it the next step, jumping in with both feet and his heart on his sleeve.
“I think it was less impulse and more instinct, for Lake.” Something about Riley tugged at Lake’s heartstrings, and I know it isn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing that he’ll regret later.
He says he’s all in, and I trust him. We’re in this life together, for all of it.
“He’s always had a bleeding heart.”
I turn from the open fridge door. “I thought that was a weakness not that long ago. That showing too much of oneself is just asking for trouble. But it’s not. It’s a strength. He sees something in Riley, so I’m following his lead.”
Avery smirks, but there’s no hostility in it. “You’re not a terrible brother-in-law.”
I let out a surprised, sharp laugh. “Should I say thanks?”
“Fuck yeah, you should.”
Riley comes back with an armful of clothes—the new ones that we got. “I don’t know where the laundry is.”
“Right next door,” I answer. “On the left before your bedroom. There’s a basket of clothes in the bathroom; can you move them to the laundry? There are labelled baskets for colours, whites, and bedding.”
Riley glances at Avery and then leaves.
“He’ll fit right in,” Avery says with a snort. “What are you cooking for dinner?”
“We are cooking chicken stir-fry.” I don’t let Lake get away with that; Avery sure as shit won’t either.
“I take back every nice thing I’ve said about you.”
Doubt there are many of those anyway. “I’m heartbroken.”
“Good.”
“You can cut the chicken.”
With an exaggerated groan, he slides off the stool and takes the gloves, cutting board, and knife I hand him. “Is this why Lake can actually cook a half-decent meal by himself now?”
“Yes.” I pause from where I’m cutting up some vegetables on my own cutting board. “They’re better than half decent.”
“You’re so whipped.”
“I saw you eating veggie sticks last month. And they weren’t even dipped in chocolate.”
“Touché.” He slips the gloves on and gets the first chicken breast ready for cutting.
“I still have Zach right now because it’s an unplanned thing.
But I know at some point, they’ll have an official deployment, and they’ll both be gone for months.
” He sounds more vulnerable than I’m used to from him.
“You’re alone; how are you dealing with it? ”
His honesty deserves honesty in return. “I’m not.” He looks up in surprise, and I nod. “I’m overcompensating by working long hours. I’m getting the wedding as ready as I can so that when he comes home, he doesn’t have to worry about it. I spoke to a florist yesterday. Willingly. I called them.”
“Are we in some alternative universe?” he asks with a light laugh.
“I’m keeping busy. The nights are the hardest. I don’t know when he’s coming back, so I can’t count down, but I’m crossing off each day.”
Avery bites his lip, staring down at the chicken like it has the answers to all his questions, all his worries.
“When it happens, don’t forget we have spare rooms here. Lake likes it when you’re here, and even when he’s not, you can come over whenever you want.” He even has a key, so I don’t need to worry about being home.
“You’re a good guy.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
Riley comes back in, arms wrapped around himself. “Everything is in the baskets. The washing machine is too complicated. There are a lot of buttons. I don’t know how to use it.”
“I’ll show you later. Come over here, you can finish chopping these vegetables.”
He looks like he wants to argue but then wordlessly crosses the room and takes over. Despite that, he takes it seriously, concentrating with intense focus.
Avery and I share a look and don’t say a word.
Later that night after Avery’s left, I get Riley set up with one of his games. Hades curls up next to him, like he’s been here with us his whole life.
“You want some ice cream?”
Riley hesitates again before answering. I don’t think that automatic response will go away for a while. “Sure.”
“You like mint choc chip?”
He nods. When I’m almost out of the room, he says, “Grady?”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
He doesn’t say anything straightaway, and I wait with more patience than I usually have.
“Thank you.”
Coming from him, I know he means it. I doubt he’s had anyone in his corner since he lost his parents. He’ll learn that we’re here, and we aren’t going anywhere. “You’re welcome.”