Chapter 13 #2
Spotting another familiar face, I darted over to him before he could disappear into the library. Aiden looked at me in surprise when I shoved a pamphlet toward him.
“What’s up, my guy? Your opinions could change the fate of the whole university.”
“I’m sort of in a hurry,” he said.
I stuck my lip out. “Come on. We shared an umbrella. That’s a bond that can’t be broken.”
“We tried to share an umbrella.”
“Then we ran through the rain like two jolly good fellows in a romance movie. Work with me here.”
Finally, he chuckled. “Fine, but make it quick.”
“Efficiency is my middle name, little dude.”
*****
Dean was off last night. It didn’t really matter that I’d learned that by asking Remi because I was too chicken shit to talk to Dean myself. I was super self-aware of the logical faults, but I just needed to know whether I should expect him to come through that door or not.
Same with today. He should’ve been out of class a few hours ago. It wasn’t like he had to update me. He was a grown man, just like I was.
The problem was, I didn’t know how to leave well enough alone. I would run an issue into the ground, then start digging with my hands to drive it deeper.
Things were off, so I had to fix it. I had to or I wouldn’t breathe right.
When the door opened, I jumped to my feet. Dean stopped, taking in the situation. The mail was spread out on the floor, all opened in a messy pile. Opened but not examined.
Without saying anything, he brought a grocery bag into the kitchen. I waited for him to put things away, but then he headed for the bathroom. When he let out a growl, I inched closer.
“Crap,” I muttered, rushing forward to grab the towel I’d left on the floor.
“It’s fine.”
I continued to pick up the few other things I’d left behind after my shower. I’d been trying to remember to keep the space clean, but I’d been consumed by the need to deal with the mail situation.
Seeing the tube of toothpaste on the counter, I shoved it into a drawer, along with my toothbrush. Since the hand towel was nearly in the sink, I grabbed it and hung it on the wall.
“Oliver, I just want to shower.”
“You called me Oli before,” I said, searching for anything else I’d left a mess.
“What?”
“It’s what my friends call me.”
“Okay.”
I unclenched my teeth before I looked at him. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “You’re quiet. Or is this your natural charm?”
He finally looked at me, but his expression was blank. “Just tired.”
“The Wi-Fi is back on.”
“That’s good. Thanks.”
Twisting my lips to the side, I tried to read him. “I know I made things weird—”
He groaned. “Dude, seriously. I really want to shower.”
My throat felt tight as I nodded. Spinning around, I clutched the towel in my arms and left the bathroom.
When the door closed behind me, I forced myself to draw in a breath.
After dropping the towel in a basket, I grabbed my keys off the counter and took the stairs two at a time.
My hands shook as I started the car, cursing myself for letting this get to me.
But it did get to me. And that was why I couldn’t be there right now.
I drove the familiar route to The Commons. I could feel every block, like I was being drawn there by some connection that had been built over years of pain and loneliness.
“Oli,” Remi said when I walked into the bar. He hadn’t opened yet, but I had a key. His brows went up as I approached him. “Whoa, something’s going on in that head. Sit.”
I climbed onto the counter, then swung my legs over to his side. Kicking them back and forth, I eyed the bottles on the wall. “I forgot to pay the internet bill.”
He breathed a laugh as he pulled the till out of the register. He passed it to me, and I started counting the bills like I’d done for him a hundred times. I was pretty sure he was just trying to get me to cave and come work for him.
“You need help with it?”
I frowned at being asked that for the second time. “No. It’s paid now.”
“Then what’s the issue?”
“Dean’s the one who pointed out that it was off.”
“Ah.” He crouched to arrange the glasses beneath the bar. “Doesn’t seem like something to be upset about. Unless he had a paper due or some shit.”
“No, he told me it’s fine.”
Remi looked up at me for a second before going back to his task. He just waited for me to speak. No need for a bunch of questions or reassurances.
“I know I’m being neurotic.” I sighed. “It kind of spiraled.”
“What happened?”
“I tried to go through all my mail. But it was, like, fifty pieces and I got overwhelmed. I was going to talk to Dean when he got home. Except he went to take a shower and I’d left some stuff in there. It clearly annoyed him when I started buzzing around.”
“Is he actually annoyed?”
I shrugged. “If he wasn’t before, he probably is now.”
“So, what you’re saying is it wasn’t a big deal, but you made it a big deal and turned it into the issue you thought it was at the start.”
“Bingo.”
He laughed, shaking his head. It reminded me that we had very different ways of dealing with our pasts. If we could split ourselves down the middle, maybe we’d find a way to balance each other out and become one fully functional human.
“You could explain it to him,” he suggested.
“He’ll think I’m crazy.”
“You’re not crazy.”
“Right. ‘Hey, Dean. You already think I’m weird, but get this. I’m gonna need you to give me a buttload of reassurance like I’m a toddler because I’m a poorly-adjusted mess of a human who can’t figure out this life thing.’ He’ll move out immediately.”
“You forgot to pay a bill. That’s a far cry from being a mess. If he knew how hard it was for you to even get where you are, he wouldn’t think twice when you have a hiccup.”
“No, he’d run for the hills.”
“Oli,” Remi sighed. “You’ve got to loosen up just a little bit.”
“I’m loosey goosey.”
“You’re not scared of him, right? Like, if he got angry?”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. “No.”
“So, you just don’t want him to leave, then.”
I looked away, not sure how to answer.
“You barely know the guy,” he pointed out. “Why do you care if he leaves?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. Leaning forward, I rested my forehead on his chest. “It’s like when I met you. Something clicked.”
“Okay, you’re clicking with him. That’s fair.”
I shook my head. “More like I’m waiting for the click.”
He flicked me in the temple, making me pull back with a grunt.
“Twelve years and you still make no sense to me sometimes,” he said.
“I know you better than I know myself, so clearly, you’re failing on your end.”
He shoved my shoulder, nearly making me fall over the other side of the bar. His laugh carried to me as he walked into the back office.
I decided to stay for a little while longer, knowing I wasn’t quite in the right headspace to go home. If Dean seemed serious when I got there, I’d make mountains out of molehills. Besides, I enjoyed people watching, especially at the bar. There were always interesting characters around this place.