Chapter 16 #2
“So…” Cherry finally said, glancing at me the same way she’d been looking at me all night.
Carefully. Like I might break. She didn’t know what I was about to do.
And for the first time, that made me the unpredictable one.
I smiled at her and waited. She shifted in her seat.
The silence stretched. “What did you have in mind?” she asked at last.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Where do you usually get your alcohol from?” I’d never asked her that before. I’d never been curious. Alcohol had always just appeared around Cherry like it was summoned. Age had never seemed to matter.
She stiffened even more, if that was possible. “Uh… why?”
“Well,” I said lightly, “what do you usually do with alcohol, Cherry? You should know.” I almost laughed at the way she was looking at me now. Like she was the parent. Had she always been like this, and I just never noticed?
“You want to drink?” she asked. The words sounded foreign coming out of her mouth, like she didn’t quite believe them.
“Should we?” I smiled, lifting my eyebrows the way I’d watched her do a thousand times at the mere mention of booze.
She shook her head. “What? Seriously, what? When’s the last time you even drank?”
“At that party,” I said casually, turning the key in the ignition. The engine started. I pulled out onto the road, refusing to look at her. I could feel her stare anyway. Like I was made of glass, but fogged over, impossible to see through.
“You drank?” she asked slowly. “Did that have anything to do with—”
“No,” I cut in sharply. I wouldn’t hear his name. Not from her. Not tonight.
“Okay,” she said quietly, letting the thought trail off.
“So?” I pressed. “Where do you get it from?”
She hesitated, her fingers twisting together in her lap. “I guess it depends. I could ask Lucas and Killian. They have fake IDs.”
“No,” I said immediately. The word came out faster than I meant it to. My stomach tightened at the sound of his name. Cherry glanced at me, startled.
It was just one more thing I hadn’t wanted to think about during my so-called digital detox.
One more moment my mind had dragged back into focus, no matter how hard I tried to bury it.
A part of me still hoped it had been a misunderstanding.
The other part of me knew it wasn’t. The way Killian had looked at me.
The way he spoke. The anger blooming out of his drunken body, unchecked and entitled.
If Austin hadn’t called me when he did, I wasn’t sure what Killian would have done.
It almost felt like fate—the timing, the interruption, the way I’d been spared.
But now I could see it wasn’t. So what was it? Luck? And wasn’t that worse?
Because if Killian had reminded Austin of Seren’s rapist—
Then where was Seren’s luck?
Nowhere.
“Why?” Cherry asked quietly, catching the edge of disgust in my voice.
“Killian is a bad person,” I said simply. Cherry sighed, and it came from deep in her chest. The kind of sigh you make when you already know the truth, but you don’t want to say it out loud yet.
“Blair,” she said carefully, “you’re going to have to tell me what happened that night.
You know that, right? Maybe not tonight.
But sometime.” I hummed noncommittally, staring straight ahead.
I didn’t want to tell Cherry everything.
I couldn’t. I wanted to take that night and cut it cleanly out of my memory, pretend it had never existed at all.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” she tried again.
“We could go to that place you like in Riverside.”
“I already ate,” I said too quickly. I hated how obvious it sounded. Lying used to be easy. To my parents. To Holden. Even to myself. Cherry was different.
“Have you?” she asked softly. The question was quiet, but it landed heavy between us. I had eaten. Exactly two hundred and seventy-eight calories.
“Yeah,” I said. It wasn’t really a lie. Not technically.
“Blair,” Cherry said, her voice dropping lower, more careful now. “Have you been eating? You’re not… you’re eating, right?” My chest tightened.
“Why the hell would you even ask me that?” I snapped, forcing anger into my voice. I wasn’t angry. But I’d learned that trick a long time ago. When people accuse someone innocent, they get mad. Defensive. Loud. Convincing.
“I’m just making sure,” Cherry said quickly. Guilt flickered in my chest. Not enough to tell the truth.
“Have you ever smoked a cigarette?” I asked suddenly, changing the subject as the idea crashed fully into my mind.
“No?” Cherry said it like a question. I could practically hear her brain scrambling, trying to jump tracks fast enough to keep up with me.
“Me neither.” I raised my eyebrows at her, then jerked the steering wheel sharply, pulling us into the parking lot of a convenience store that appeared on our right.
Cherry’s arms flew out instinctively, her hands grabbing for anything solid like she thought a collision was imminent.
I laughed at the sight of her, and when she heard me laughing, a smile finally bloomed across her face.
Relief, at last. “Let’s get some,” I said, swinging haphazardly into a parking spot.
“Seriously?” she asked, but her tone had softened. She still looked at me like I was unhinged, just not the kind of unhinged that required calling Lucy.
“Yeah,” I laughed again. “Why not?”
She hesitated for half a second before nodding. “Alright. If you think this will make you feel better, sure. But I’ll do the talking and the buying. You just—” she pointed at me, “—shut up. Try not to speak.”
“Okay,” I agreed immediately. I’d expected that. It fit my plan perfectly.
Cherry seemed to come back to life the moment we stepped inside, energized by the familiar thrill of flirting her way into trouble.
She was lighter, looser, and somehow so was I.
This was what I’d been missing, wasn’t it?
Reckless, teenage fun. She walked straight up to the counter, and I had to bite back a laugh at the sway of her hips, the practiced flick of her hair.
The guy behind the till was instantly captivated, his attention locking onto her like I didn’t exist. Perfect.
I drifted toward the back of the store, toward the long wall of coolers humming quietly to themselves.
My fingers slid across the cold glass as I scanned the options.
Beer. Wine coolers. Cider. Things I knew nothing about.
My pulse buzzed with anticipation. I’d never stolen anything in my life.
Time to change that. Yellow Blair never would have. But… what am I now?
I glanced back at Cherry. I knew how fast she worked.
I didn’t have long. I went with the obvious choice.
A teenage girl stealing a pack of beer. Cliché.
I loved it. I forced myself to act casual as I opened the fridge, crouched down, and grabbed the pack.
I tucked it behind my back as I stood, the urge to giggle bubbling dangerously close to the surface I walked toward the counter, heart pounding, a strange thrill rushing through me. Finally, Trouble. And it tasted good.
“Thanks for the understanding, Charles,” Cherry purred as the cashier slid the cigarettes across the counter.
She snagged a lighter too, dropping a crumpled bill I was almost certain she’d pulled from her bra.
“I can’t believe I forgot my ID at home,” she laughed, the fakest laugh imaginable. It nearly sent me over the edge.
“No problem,” the cashier said. “Hey… any chance I could get your number?”
“She’s taken,” I yelled from behind them. A terrible choice. I realized that immediately. They both turned to look at me. Their faces lit up with the same realization at the same time, their eyes dropping to my arms. To the one hidden behind my back.
“Blair?” Cherry whispered, her eyes widening.
“What—” the man barely got the word out.
“Thanks!” I half yelled, half laughed, and then my feet were already moving. I turned and ran for the door without another glance back.
Something ignited in my chest, bright and violent, like I was standing at the edge of a cliff and had already decided to jump.
I heard the cashier shouting behind me. I heard Cherry’s footsteps pounding after mine.
I didn’t look back. I ran like my feet were on fire.
I tore open my car door and threw the beer into the backseat without care, my hands shaking as adrenaline flooded my veins.
“Come on!” I yelled.
Cherry sprinted toward me, panic and disbelief all over her face.
I laughed harder when I saw the man chasing after her.
Too late. The second Cherry’s ass hit the passenger seat and the door slammed shut, I floored it.
The tires screeched as we took off. I couldn’t stop laughing.
It burst out of me uncontrollably, loud and breathless, like my body didn’t know how else to release whatever had just been unleashed.
I felt electric. On fire. Alive in a way I hadn’t been in years.
We drove for miles before I finally looked over at Cherry.
She was completely silent. Stunned again.
Twice in one night. That had to be a record.
“What. The. Fuck?” she said finally, punctuating every word.
“Who the hell are you?” I didn’t answer right away.
I just kept glancing between the road and her face.
Then she laughed. It was the kind of laugh that only comes when reality stops making sense and there’s nothing else to do but accept it.
“You are fucking crazy tonight,” she sighed, shaking her head, but she was smiling.
“Okay, Miss Rebel. You’ve got your cigarettes.
You’ve got your beer. What’s the plan now?
God, I feel like we’re in freshman year again. ”
“That was a good year,” I said softly. The memories flashed through me before I could stop them. Before everything happened. Before Holden. Before me.