Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Jameson
“ O kay, which one of you punks took my meatball sandwich?” I demanded, after looking through all the labeled containers inside the fridge.
“Weren’t you just complaining about the timing of the first responders’ calendar shoot? I assumed you’d be fasting,” Donaldson griped.
“Well, I’m not, and I want my sandwich.”
“There’s no need to get all ragey; you need to calm down.”
“Calm down?” I goaded him. “Cruz, there will be no calming down, my friend.” I drew in an exasperated breath, willing myself to chill the fuck out. “If I’m being punked right now, you got me, but please, I’m begging whoever it is in this room that took my sandwich to please put it back. No questions asked, no harm, no foul.” Everyone knew better than to mess with me when it came to my mom’s leftovers.
“Wasn’t me.” Donaldson held his hand up in defense, remnants of this pasta lunch in the empty Tupperware container on the table in front of him.
“Don’t look at me.” Roberts shook his head, shuffling a deck of cards.
“Dude, your precious sandwich isn’t coming anywhere near these abs.” Cruz rubbed his stomach. “I’ve got my photo shoot in two days with Arizona.”
As if I needed more accelerant added to an already burning fire where she was concerned.
“I’m going to take five and hope that when I return, my sandwich will be waiting where I left it.”
The guys looked at me like I had lost my ever-loving mind, and quite honestly, they weren’t wrong. While I used the excuse to head outside, away from the kitchen, it was really because I wanted to go and see if the ambulance rig was back. There was no rhyme or reason, but lately, whenever Arizona was on shift and out with her new trainee, Alex, away from the station on a call, I couldn’t ignore the anxiousness that crept into my thoughts.
Alex seemed like a good dude, and everyone around the station liked him. There were no red flags other than he was a guy, and I’d prefer he wasn’t attached to Ari’s hip every shift. But it wasn’t exactly my call or my business. Nor was she, as she took any opportunity that came up to remind me. The problem was my head and heart hadn’t reconciled that fact because my heart knew what it wanted.
It wanted Arizona.
It was a feeling that had been so deeply embedded in my soul since we were kids that it trumped any repugnance she aimed at me.
From the first time I saw Arizona skipping between the rows of her parents’ greenhouse, singing a song from the Annie soundtrack, I was entranced by the aura of happiness around her. Her long, fiery-red hair, tied back in a ponytail, swung from side to side with just as much animated momentum as her steps. With a book in hand and not a care in the world, she was limitless.
That unrivaled light of hers dimmed when her mother passed unexpectedly from an aneurysm in her sleep. My twin brother, Jaxon, and I had just celebrated our eighth birthday the day before, and I’d never forget being on cloud nine and running downstairs to play with our new race car track only to find my dad consoling my mom at the kitchen table.
It was my first experience with death. Prior, I was naive and thought everyone was invincible. Seeing the town come together to support Arizona and her dad, from helping with their land and greenhouse, which supplied flowers to Sutton River and neighboring cities, to preparing meals, was a sobering, life-changing moment. It was also the first time I realized how life could change on a dime.
My parents were the foundation of our family. As a kid, I cringed whenever I saw them kiss or dance in the kitchen. But as I grew older, I began to understand how rare their bond was—and how much I longed for that same kind of connection in a life partner.
A genuine, heart-pumping love with an undeniable bond.
The ability to be completely in tune, so deeply in love that your hearts beat as one in perfect harmony.
I didn’t understand it at the time, but witnessing Arizona at the church that day truly made my heart ache within my chest. While I had no business understanding what it meant to love someone outside of my family, I felt a strong urge to do whatever it took to bring a smile to her face.
In fact, I made it my mission.
Once a week, I snuck out of the house before sunrise and left a bunch of flowers on the Rhodes porch with little positivity notes. My mom always sent notes to Jaxon, Ford, and me in our lunch boxes, so I copied them for a year until I started coming up with my own.
Little inspirational quotes.
I just wanted to see her smile again.
However, because of the time of year, I didn’t get to see much of Arizona as she mostly hibernated through the summer. It wasn’t until school started up again that I finally got a real glimpse of her, up close. While she was busy with school, participating in activities, and hanging out with friends, I could tell she wasn’t truly present.
Her smile was no longer magnetic and carefree; it was just there.
A mask, if you will. A veil protecting her from people digging too deep into her feelings.
Years passed, and just as I thought I finally had a foot in the door to make my move, said figurative door slammed in my face, and her walls were higher than ever.
It was after that, that I said fuck it, fuck her, fuck everything.
I threw the nice guy out the window and partied my ass off between fire academy, EMT training, and all the certification courses I needed until I was hired at the Sutton River FD. Fighting fires was in my blood, and I was the only one of my brothers to follow in our pop’s footsteps. I dreamed of working alongside him; the only problem was while I was downstate for training, the firehouse got a significant upgrade and merged with the medics.
So, imagine my ire when I realized we could be sleeping under the same roof if our shifts aligned.
Which they did—often.
The sound of the ambulance rig’s backup siren pulled me from the trip down memory lane as it returned to the station. I was already tucked around the side of the building in a mood, so I decided it was best not to make my presence known.
“You can stop with the sales pitch, Alex; I reopened my account the other night.”
“For real? Why did you let me drone on and on then?”
“Honestly, I’m still trying to psych myself up to follow through.”
“Girl, you already know everyone in the county radius. There are no suitable options here, so you need to broaden your search.”
What the fuck!
“Don’t remind me.” She sighed dramatically.
“Ari.”
It’s Arizona, you dipshit.
“Why is this so important to you?” she asked.
Exactly. That was my question.
Why was Alex so interested in her personal life? But I guess I should be thanking the stars if it meant he wasn’t into her unless it was all a ruse.
“I’ve been here almost six months now?—”
“And what, you decided you needed a pet project?” she quipped.
“No, it’s just. I like you.” Fuck . “As a friend, I should clarify.” Nice save, I thought, uncurling my fists slightly. “I like to think I’ve gotten to know you well and want to see you happy.”
“I’m perfectly content.”
“Are you really?” Alex asked as I peeked around the corner and watched their interaction.
“As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, I can’t stand another second of the smell of Billy’s vomit on my arms. Can you take care of inventory and restocking?”
“Yeah, I’ve got this.”
Once I was sure Arizona had gone inside, I made my presence known. It turned out I hadn’t been that stealthy.
“Eavesdropping, Fisher?”
“Excuse me?”
“I saw you lurking around the corner when I backed the rig in.”
“Your point? I was getting some fresh air.”
“Sure you were.” He scoffed.
“What’s your problem, man?” I straightened my spine, prepared to get in his face if need be. It wouldn’t be an even match, given that I stood six foot four and weighed around two twenty-five with just ten percent body fat, while he barely reached my shoulders and likely couldn’t even bench press his own weight.
“You.”
“Me? What the fuck have I ever done to you?” I questioned, minus the fact that I loathed the guy simply because he was Arizona’s partner. I was envious of the time he got to spend with her.
“It’s not about me, it’s Ari.”
“Arizona,” I damn near growled.
“See, it’s that, right there.”
“What?”
“You seem to be under some misguided impression that you only get to call her by her nickname, and yet you’re not even friends.”
“The fuck we aren’t.” If I weren’t on the job, I wouldn’t have thought twice about laying the fucker out for his comment.
“Listen, Jameson, I might be new here, but I’m not blind. Shit or get off the pot.”
My blood was past boiling at the gall of this guy. Who the hell was he to pass judgment on my friendship with Arizona? He didn’t know her. He hadn’t been around long enough to pick up on all the idiosyncrasies that made her who she was.
However, the real meat and potatoes of my anger was I had only ever been an outsider in her world. An outsider who would give anything to step one foot into her inner sanctum, and he just called me out on it.
Hell-bent on finding her, I headed for the locker room only to nearly choke on my tongue when I saw her sinfully curvaceous curves covered only by a terrycloth towel. I wanted Arizona more than my next breath, but fuck if I knew how to penetrate her titanium re-enforced walls without forcing the barricades up further.
“Jesus, Jameson.” She jumped from the sound of the door clicking closed behind me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean?—”
“Sure you didn’t.” Ari huffed with an unimpressed sigh.
I stood utterly thunderstruck. Motionless minus my eyes that worked swiftly, committing every inch of her flawless beauty to memory while my attempts to articulate the reason I sought her out fell short, leaving me at a loss for words.
“But let’s be real for a second; I’ve got nothing you haven’t seen a thousand times over.” She dismissed my presence and turned back toward her locker.
Wait, what?
She couldn’t be more wrong.
Her presumption of how I viewed her jerked me out of my stupor. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what exactly?”
“Diminish how beautiful you are.”
“Jameson.” Her eyes met mine again, however, this time through the reflection in the mirror of her locker door.
I stepped closer, drawn to her as if she had been the north to my south, no matter how hard she had denied our connection.
The muscles in her toned shoulders strained against the expanse of her olive complexion while my restraint teetered on the blink of demise. I was breaking the rules, stepping over boundaries, and cursing my timing, but nothing at that moment would willfully derail my focus.
She was worth risking it all for.
With barely a gap separating my chest from her back, I pinned her with an intense gaze while my hands itched to touch her bare skin. Tiny beads of water dotted a roadmap my tongue craved to follow in infinite circles until I was undeniably lost, with no end in sight.
We were so close that when her breath hitched, it was music to my ears and a teaser into other intimate sounds I desperately wanted to draw out of her. No other woman had such a profound, heart-stopping effect on me.
Just like I craved no one else.
The outside world faded away while she sharpened into infinite focus.
“The strength, grace, and grit you exhibit daily is inspiring. Your unwavering compassion for your patients, dedication, and commitment to the job are admirable. But those traits don’t paint the full picture.” I dropped my tone to a low whisper as I leaned forward and angled my chin between the juncture of her shoulder and ear, ghosting my breath across her dampened skin. “And this facade you’ve got going doesn’t fool me, nor do the walls you’ve built sky-high deter me, so please hear me when I say this: don’t for one second think any other woman holds a candle to you.”
Her lips parted in preparation for a rebuttal that never came.
“You’re perfection personified. In a league of your own. There isn’t a single iota of you that I don’t find incredibly beautiful, Ari, both inside and out.”
Her phone picked the most inopportune time to pop the idyllic bubble I had immersed myself in and had me casting my eyes toward the top shelf of her locker, where it lit up with an incoming message.
Dixon: 8 pm is perfect; I look forward to meeting in person.
My height often came in handy. However, now wasn’t one of those said times. While the message replayed in my head, Arizona made no attempt to reach up for her phone, leaving me feeling like a fool for exposing my inner thoughts.
She had a date.
She had a fucking date lined up.
God, I wanted to throttle Alex.
But first, I needed to reign in the torturous agitation steering me into unchartered waters. However, it was useless, as every thought that came to mind was snarky and wrapped with a heavy dose of irritation.
Over the years, I’d become a goddamned magician when it came to masking my feelings for Arizona, and yet, all it took was one intimate moment to bring me to my knees.