Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Jocelyn
I spent the last two nights at home. I had classes late and didn’t want to take the bus. Hutch offered to come get me, but I haven’t seen Val much and wanted to hang out with her after I got home.
Tonight, I’ll stay with him. I’ve missed cuddling up to my Viking.
I lean back on the bus seat, watching the world go by as I think about what we can make for dinner.
I’m working the afternoon shift at the bookstore, and I’ll get off at six.
Roxy’s closing tonight. I offered to stay, but she pointed out that it’s the middle of the week and things are slow.
I don’t know how she does it. I’m just happy she does because I love my job.
I know I have to get a normal nine-to-five job soon.
I hope I can find something as fun as the bookstore.
I glance out the window when we pull up to a light, and I do a double take.
I’m holding my phone, and I scramble to take a photo of a man walking down the sidewalk.
It’s the closest I’ve seen him. It must be my dad.
I snap a few shots before the bus pulls away.
Is he here in my neighborhood? That absolutely was him.
Or at least I think it is. Shit. It’s been such a long time.
The fact that Mom talked to him gives me hope that this man is actually him. I wish he’d just give her his number. Mom said he called from a hotel and wasn’t sure where he’d be staying or for how long. He said it depended on his getting a job.
The bus pulls up a few minutes later, and I hop off, practically running to the bookstore.
I fling open the door and find Clare and Roxy standing over a box of books.
“I swear I just saw my dad,” I say as I pant and hold up my phone.
After Puerto Rico, I’ve filled them both in on things, including what my mom said.
I haven’t told Hutch yet because I want to make sure.
I know he’d force Kasen to double his search efforts, and I don’t want to be that annoying friend.
“You think that’s him?” Roxy asks as she leans in to view the photo.
I nod. “It has to be. I know it’s been a long time, but look…” I pause and scroll on my phone until I find a photo I took from an album my sister has. I turn my phone, and they both stare at it.
“Well, if it’s not him, then he has a doppelg?nger,” Roxy says.
“Right. It has to be him,” I say again as I frown.
“What?” Clare asks.
“I just don’t get it. Why move back here, talk to your ex, but not contact your kids? And why not try to make amends with your own mother or sister?” I huff as I sink into one of the oversized reading chairs we have set up in the store’s corner.
“Maybe he’s embarrassed by his behavior. Or maybe he thinks you won’t talk to him?” Clare suggests.
“Or, he could be trying to do something big? Like a grand gesture?” Roxy muses.
“But why? Why now?” I question.
They both shrug.
“I wish I’d just run into him on the street, you know? Like what happened with my mom. And force him to talk to me,” I say, feeling myself getting mad just thinking about it.
Roxy comes and sits in the chair opposite me. “Sorry, Joc. I really am. I wish I had answers for you.”
“That makes two of us,” I state. I pick up my overnight bag and shove it behind the desk.
“Staying the night?” she asks.
I nod. “I have been so busy, I haven’t seen Hutch in two days.”
She smirks.
I roll my eyes. “What?”
“Oh, nothing. He’s had big, sad puppy dog eyes every time I see him,” she says with a laugh.
“Good. I want him only thinking about me,” I tease.
Clare giggles. “Oh, I think he thinks about one other woman,” she says, pointing out toward the park where Hutch sits on a bench. I can just make out a raccoon on a giant boulder nearby, eating peanuts.
“That’s bold of him to be out there. It’s only like…what, three thirty?” Roxy says.
“Yeah. You mind if I go say hi real quick?” I ask.
She shakes her head and motions for me to go with a wave of her hand. I walk outside and down to the trail.
I hear Hutch murmuring to himself or the raccoon as I approach. Cliff sits on a log near the water’s edge, mindlessly eating peanuts and what looks like blueberries.
“You upped your game, huh?” I ask as I walk around the bench and sit down next to him.
“Huh?” he asks as he turns and then smiles when his eyes land on me.
“Blueberries?”
“Oh,” he laughs. “Yeah, I saw some video online where the person was feeding one frozen blueberries, and I thought, why not?”
Cliff eats one, and we watch in silence. The only sound is the water rushing in the nearby stream. It’s peaceful, but also the air seems to be ripe with heaviness.
“You coming over tonight?” he asks, breaking the silence. Something seems off, as if big things are weighing on his mind.
“I can…if you want,” I say, not wanting to force it. If he needs alone time, I can give him that, even if it’s killing me to be away from him.
He frowns. “Of course, I want you over.”
“You seem…deep in thought,” I say carefully as I lean forward to really look at him.
With a sigh, he wraps an arm around me and tugs me against him. I wrap my arms around him and place my head on his shoulder.
“Sorry, princessa. I am deep in thought. I guess seeing my family this week brought out a lot of…things I hadn’t thought about before. I need to process it all,” he explains.
“Not to compete with your processing, but…” I pull my phone from my pocket and show him the photo of the man I swear is my father. It’s time I talk to him about my dad.
He unwraps his arm from me and takes the phone, staring at it. “You really think it’s him?” he asks as he turns to me.
I nod. “I didn’t mention this before, but Mom talked to him a few weeks ago,” I start.
“Wait! What?” he says, a look of confusion and hurt on his face. Shit. I should have told him; I just needed time to figure it all out.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, I wanted to talk to you about it, but I needed a few days. I guess I’m processing too. Anyhow, she ran into him on the street. He said he was working on a contract here and wanted to reconnect when he was more settled.”
“Wow,” Hutch says, placing his elbows on his knees and leaning forward, his hands steepling together.
“Yeah. So on the way here, I swear this was him. Maybe a mile away. Not far. He’s here. That’s got to be him,” I state.
“Kasen?” Hutch suggests. I know what he means. Kasen is the man who can find anyone. But again, a feeling of guilt creeps through me. I hate asking people for things.
“Maybe. I mean, he did help me find my grandmother, aunt, and cousins,” I agree.
I study Hutch. I’m worried about him. He’s normally so jovial.
And here he is being super serious. I once heard Bray say something about Hutch having a serious side.
And I’ve seen little glimpses of it over the past few weeks.
But he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
I know he visited his family, and aside from telling me it went well and all is good, he hasn’t spoken about it.
Part of me wants to make him tell me everything, right now.
And another part wants to wait until he’s ready to talk about it.
“You sure you’re alright?” I ask again, hoping he’ll talk about it.
He nods. “I’ll figure it out. But right now, we need to find your dad.”
I look around us.
“What about your mystery?” I ask, motioning to our surroundings.
Hutch reaches down and picks up a bouquet of flowers from the side of the bench.
“I think I’ll deal with it another day. But you look like you could use these now,” he says as he hands them to me.
I smile up at him. “Thanks,” I say as I smell them.
“Anything for my princessa,” he whispers, reaching out and pulling my hand to his lips. He kisses it, and I want to swoon. This man is too perfect. I know he has his own demons to wrestle with, but that only makes him more real. I just hope we can conquer all of these crazy things together.