Chapter Twenty-Eight
Mac
We’ve been in our house for two weeks, and Lee still hasn’t spoken to her Da.
Her Ma and siblings come by almost daily, but he hasn’t even tried to come over.
Right now she’s upstairs working on some cases she has going on while I’m in the detached garage with Davis and Kieran.
Davis comes over multiple times a week, and my brothers rotate daily.
I love them all, don’t get me wrong. I’m just over them breathing down my neck.
I’ve been sober for one hundred and seven days, and I know I have so much more growing to do, but I can’t do that with them holding my hand daily.
“So I wanted to talk to you guys about something.” I don’t stop turning the socket wrench that’s loosening up the spark plugs.
“Oh yeah? About what?” Kieran’s curious eyes try to catch mine, but I’m purposely focusing on what I’m doing.
“I think you should stop coming over so much.” The words aren’t even completely out of my mouth when Davis cuts in.
“I’ll do whatever you want me to, but I’d like it on record. I think this is a terrible idea.”
“Not you, Davis. My brothers.” This time I pull my gaze from the engine and look Kieran in the eye.
“I appreciate you guys so much. I wouldn’t be here without you helping me stay on track.
At the same time, there’s a constant rotation of people in and out of my house.
I haven’t even fully processed that she’s getting worse because we barely have a minute alone.
I love you guys, but I’ve got to settle into my new life too.
You won’t always be here to hold my hand, Kie. ”
Kie looks like I just knocked the wind out of him, “But— I’m your best friend.”
“And you’ll remain my best friend. I want you and Pigeon to come over for dinner sometimes. Come hang out for an hour or so, maybe even one evening a week, but we have to find our new normal. She’s having this same talk with her Ma and siblings.”
“Well, we all know that’s going to go over like a fart in church.” Kieran scoffs.
“It doesn’t matter how it goes over with them. We can only control ourselves, and I’m asking you guys to pull back a little.” My eyes are pleading with him to understand, but I also know Kieran’s dramatic first and sensible second.
“Fine, but I’m not telling the others, you can tell them. Matter of fact, let me be there when you tell Rowan and Clara that they can’t come see their kid daily anymore. You know, for research.”
“I’m not their kid, Kieran. My parents died almost five years ago.”
“Oh, even better. Let me be there when you tell them that. You talk a big game, but we both know you’ll let them baby you until the end of time because it makes them both happy.” I’m half a second from swinging on him to wipe that smug look off his face when Davis cuts in.
“Okay, so what I’m hearing you say is you want to stop being treated like a child. That you both want to stop being treated like children.” His eyes are inquisitive.
One thing that I really love about Davis is his ability to talk me through my struggles.
No matter if that’s cravings, Lee being sick, or the mundane tasks of life.
Our friendship was fast and all at once.
I guess it has to be when you’re trusting someone to help you work through your alcoholism and learning how to live an entirely different way.
I’d like to think we’ve now developed a deeper friendship than just sponsor/sponsee at this point.
I’ve told him more stuff than even Kieran knows.
God knows I could never tell Kieran about that, but the truth is the truth.
“Yes and no. I mean, at the most basic level, yes. I just want to be treated like I’m not seconds away from falling off the wagon every second of every day.”
He nods along to what I’m saying. “And do you think you are? Seconds from falling off the wagon, I mean?”
“No.” There’s zero hesitation in my voice.
I’ve said since the day I came home from the cabin that I’ll never drink again.
I really thought I was going to die, and Declan said I could have if Doc wasn’t there with us.
Me dying means me leaving Lelonie, and that’s not happening. I only just got her back.
“And if you think you’re going to drink? When you get cravings?” He pushes. I’m pretty sure just so Kieran can hear what Davis and I already know, because we already practice it.
“I call you or I talk to Lee about it.” I say with complete resolution.
“What about us though? You don’t want to tell us when you’re struggling?” Kieran asks, hurt lacing his voice.
“It’s not that, K. I get it. It’s always been just us. But do you tell me everything? Or are there things you keep just between you and Phoenix? Maybe even stuff you keep between you and Ryan? Like the years of fighting?”
“Okay, that was below the belt.”
Kieran used to fight underground, and it almost cost him his life. Did that stop him from jumping back into the ring? Of course not.
“Am I wrong, though?” I lift an eyebrow, challenge clear in my tone.
“No, you fucking know you aren’t.” He grumbles. He’s always in the shittiest mood when he doesn’t get his way.
“So it’s settled. Everyone’s going to act chill, and I’ll call you if I need you.”
Davis agrees, and Kieran sulks like the giant man child he is. I turn my focus back to the car when my phone starts ringing. Kieran picks it up and hands it out to me.
“It’s Mr. Fischer.”
Shit.
“Okay, love you guys, mean it. Now get out of here.” Turning my back, effectively dismissing them, I swipe to answer my phone before it rings out.
“Hello?” Grabbing a rag,,,,,,,,,, I wipe my hands as clean as I can.
“Byrne.” Her fathers no nonsense tone rings down the line. “How’s my daughter?”
“You’d know if you stopped being a stubborn ass and apologized to her.” My parents taught me to be respectful, but he hurt my girl’s feelings. So that shit is out the window.
“You don’t think I’ve tried that?” He roars.
“I know you haven’t because I talk to her constantly. We live together, Lukas. I’d know if you’d been by or sent her something. I actually know that you haven’t called because she cried on my chest last night because her Papa won’t stop being a stubborn mule and apologize.”
“I don’t need to apologize, because she took what I said the wrong way.” Holy shit, he’s just as stubborn as she is.
“You said you hope Rowan never knows what it’s like to have a Lelonie. Maybe not in those exact words, but that’s what you were saying. I know you love her, but you going ghost after making a statement like that hurts her. Call your daughter, Lukas.”
“Can you– can you tell her I love her?” He’s lost his gusto, and in its place is just a Da who can’t stand his daughter being upset with him.
“Tell her yourself. You have her number, and you know where she lives, seeing as you helped me put the floors in.”
“Yeah, okay.” He sighs while disconnecting the call.
My hands are itching to get upstairs and check on her, so that’s exactly what I do.
And when I find her asleep on the couch in the upstairs den with some love movie on, I kiss her temple and make sure she’s good and covered up.
Since she’s asleep, I guess I better finalize my plans for Matteo and Leo.
* * *
It’s later in the afternoon, and I have Lee sitting on top of the island while I work around her to cook dinner. She’s wearing leggings and my favorite hoodie while gently kicking her legs and watching me. The feel of her eyes on me as I make her dinner is by far one of my favorite things.
“You ready to talk about that yet?” She points to my bare chest, to her tattoo.
I busy myself moving around the kitchen until she reaches her legs out and pulls me into her with her legs wrapped around my waist.
“I was eighteen, sloshed out of my mind, and mourning. I drew it myself, every single detail the year before. I showed up to the parlor that my brothers use, and they turned me down for being intoxicated. I was so pissed, but one of the guys said if I could be back at eight the next morning, he’d do it.
So I went in the next morning and he had me in his chair all day.
He tried to break it up into multiple sessions, but I needed the pain.
I needed something to prove that I didn’t just make you up in my head.
Lilies were always your favorite flowers, and I had the letter ‘R’ drawn into the outline of the flower.
You were with me, Lee. Every single day, and no one could take that from me. ”
Her eyes are filled with unshed tears by the time I’m done.
“I was always coming back to you, Quill. It’s what kept me alive while I was with them, the promise of us.”
My lips press to hers when there’s a knock at our front door. We pull apart, but not before I press one more kiss to her temple.
“Is that for you?” Lee asks me.
“Nope, it must be for you.” I smirk. Her Da is out there. I know because he texted me when he left his house to tell me he was coming.
She hops off the counter, playfully smacks my ass, and heads to the front door. I playfully grumble at her, “That’s my move, you aren’t supposed to steal it.”
Her laugh rings throughout the downstairs. She pulls the door open to see Lukas standing on the other side holding a bouquet of lilies in his hand.
“I’m so sorry, Kostbarkeit. I never meant to hurt your feelings. You are nothing but the exact piece our family needed to be complete.”
Lee steps into her father’s arms and wraps her arms around his middle instantly. I can hear her sniffling from here.
“Papa, I’m so sorry I haven’t called. I’m so sorry that I’ve brought all of this to your door. You didn’t ask for a sick child when you adopted me. It was already enough that you adopted a damaged one.”
He pulls her tight into his embrace, “No, shh. Don’t say that, my girl.
You are perfect. If you took me back to that exact day ten years ago and told me what I know now?
You still would have come home with Mama and I and we’d still be right here.
I wouldn’t change a single hair on your head for all the money in the world. ”
Deciding to let them have their moment, I stop eavesdropping and start setting the dining room table.
I don’t have parents anymore, but she does.
I’d kill for another moment with my Ma and Da, so instead of looming over them to make sure he doesn’t fuck this up, I try to tune them out and busy myself.
They deserve this moment to be just the two of them.