Epilogue
Mac
Thirty-Three years old
My head falls back against the brick wall behind me with an unpleasant thump. My eyes shut and I work to keep my breath even. I feel two bodies move to either side of mine. I don’t need to open my eyes to know one belongs to my oldest brother, Rowan, and the other, my best friend, Davis.
They have these distinct ways about them.
I can just feel their presence. Rowan because he’s been my oldest brother my entire life and my father figure for almost half my life.
Rowan stepped in like he was made for the role of ‘Da’ after our parents were brutally murdered.
He finished raising me and my two youngest brothers and still to this day is a stand in Da to all five of us.
We’ve put him through so much hell that at forty I’m surprised he has no gray hairs.
Davis because he’s been my best friend for over ten years.
He picks up the phone no matter the time, talks me off the ledge, and takes me in like I’m his actual brother instead of the guy he found ten years ago trying to pick up the pieces of his life and took under his wing.
Both men calm the demons in my head just enough for me to think.
Neither calms them completely; that’s saved for one person.
I peek my eyes open and look at Davis. “She here?”
He shakes his head, “No brother, she isn’t.”
Nodding, I close my eyes again, “She’ll be here.”
I feel a heavy hand land on my shoulder, and I don’t need to open my eyes to know that the ones staring back at me are going to be identical to mine.
I look anyway because he came over here to make sure I’m okay.
I’ve never let them be a part of this before, so he has no idea that this is normal for me.
“You okay, Mac?” Rowan’s eyes search my face, looking for any signal that I need to bail out. He’s not going to find it, though.
“Yeah, big brother. I’m good. Are you okay?”
He smirks at me, “You finally letting us be a part of this? Hell yeah, I’m good.” He pulls me in for a bear hug and right before he pulls away, he whispers, “I’m so fucking proud of you, baby brother.”
My other four brothers walk up with their spouses just as I push off the wall to make my way inside.
After greeting them and thanking them for coming, we all head inside the old brick building.
At the center of the room is an old wooden podium.
Walking in, I stare at it like I have thousands of times at this point.
I can’t help but think about how odd it is that this podium has definitely been used by a pastor or two in the past. It used to stand proud and tall at the center of the stage.
Eventually a new one was bought, and this one was given to me to place here.
Where it’s sat for almost ten years. It’s scratched up, beat all to hell, but it’s still here, still standing. The symbolism in that is beautiful.
My heart rate picks up, just like it does every time.
Only this time there’s added pressure because my brothers and their wives are here today.
We make our way to the back corner and sit as Davis makes his way to the podium.
There’s a decent amount of people here today, not including my family.
If you add them into the mix, it’s enough to make the back of my neck sweat.
Everyone quiets down as Davis begins to speak.
“Good afternoon, and welcome to the regular meeting of the Corey Heights group of Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is Davis, and I’m an alcoholic.”
Everyone responds with, “Hi, Davis.”
“Ours is an open meeting of AA. We are glad you’re here.
” He quotes the preamble and meeting etiquette before turning his attention squarely on me.
“Today we have a speaker. His story is incredible, inspirational, and one that we all desire to have. He’s also my best friend, so everyone please welcome Mac to the podium. ”
Applause starts as I stand and make my way to the old rugged podium.
Once behind it, my hands grip the sides of the old worn wood, and pump my fists one…
two…three times. Taking a deep, calming breath, I finally look up to the group of people in front of me.
Every one of them is staring back. People at varying points in their sobriety journeys.
Strangers, all of my brothers and in-laws, a few friends, and Davis.
Everyone’s here, except for one. Right as I decide I need to start, the back door flies open, and my stunning wife makes her way inside and over to the rest of my family.
She smiles at me and mouths a simple ‘I love you, handsome. Truth, Always.’ Nodding in acknowledgment I begin.
“Hi everybody. I’m Mac, and I am an alcoholic.”
A chorus of “Hey, Mac.” rings back to me, causing a small smile to tug at the corner of my lips.
“Today, I am ten years sober. I’m proud of myself for getting to this point, but please know this was not a spot I thought I’d ever be in.
I stumbled a lot, I was the worst version of myself, and if not for the help of my sponsor, all of you, and my support system, I wouldn’t be here today.
I’m going to be brutally honest with you all today, because it isn’t a pretty journey… ”
* * *
“I live my life every single day by the steps. I wake up every morning and choose recovery. I know that I am powerless over alcohol. I’m constantly taking inventory of myself and my actions. I apologize and make amends when needed, and I tell the truth, always.”
The calm that’s washed over me as I’ve told my story into sobriety is a welcomed feeling.
I always end my story the exact same way.
It’s what really put things into perspective for me the first time I heard Davis say it.
So I continue to tell other people in hopes that it may help them too.
Finally loosening my grip on the podium, I take a deep breath and say the words that helped change my life.
“If you’re here today and you’re thinking that there’s no way you’ll be standing where I am one day, I’d just like to give you a little encouragement.
On my day one, I could have never imagined that I’d be on day three thousand, six hundred, and fifty.
Hell, on my day one I never imagined I’d hit day two.
No one walks in here for the first time batting a thousand. ”
Nodding to Davis, he takes my cue and comes up to the podium. He claps his hand onto my shoulder keeping me right beside him as he speaks.
“Thank you, Mac, for sharing your story. I remember seeing you that day we ran into each other outside of that church in the city. Pride swelled in my chest the day you walked into that first meeting newly sober. I prayed for you every single day of that difficult first year, and continue to do so even ten years later. Every single day since you asked for help, you’ve made me nothing but proud.
You have been an instrumental part of my own sobriety, and I know many others in this room will say the same thing.
It is my honor to present you with this chip to recognize your ten year journey into sobriety. ”
My family can be heard whistling and clapping throughout the room as I receive my chip from Davis. I want to be embarrassed by their lack of couth, but I really can’t be. They’re proud of me, and this is the first time they’ve heard it since ten years ago when we all lived it.
After hugging Davis, I step away from the pulpit and find my seat next to my beautiful wife.
Her hand wraps around my arm as her head leans on my shoulder.
We listen as Davis finishes up the meeting, as always ending with the serenity prayer.
Other members come up to me to talk and congratulate me on my big milestone, but I don’t let Lelonie go the entire time. I never will.
Over the past ten years, we’ve put our relationship above everything else.
We’ve traveled the world. She runs support groups for young women who are on the transplant list, and more times than not I’m leading the Corey Heights meetings.
We work remotely, and in the times we aren’t working, we’re raising our two beautiful boys.
Yeah, we have a three year old and a six month old, both boys. They’re more than likely the reason Lee was almost late. Clara and Rowan decided they didn’t want any more kids after Maeve was born. So Clara offered to surrogate for us.
Both pregnancies were easy and without complications.
Adien Lukas was born first. He looks identical to me, but has his mom’s fiery personality.
We decided when Adien was two that we wanted one more.
Que Myles Jakob, who came out looking identical to his Ma with a personality he couldn’t have gotten anywhere else aside from me.
They’re being watched along with all the other kids by Rhett back at the estate that Roe and his family still live on.
Once we make it back to our vehicles, I open the door of my old dark blue Jeep for Lee. She smiles as she slides inside and waits for me to lean in and kiss her quickly before shutting the door and making my way over to the driver’s side.
“You ready to go get our boys?” I glance over to her, knowing full and well she’s crawling out of her skin to get back to them.
“You ready to hear about how proud of you I am? Because I am. I’m so proud of you. Thank you, Handsome for making this the best life for the four of us.”
Smiling at her, I lean over and kiss her one more time, just because I can. “You keep loving me, and I’ll be right here until our last breath.”
“How do I know you aren’t just blowing smoke, Quill Byrne?” Her teasing grin still drives me just as wild as it did eleven years ago.
“The truth, Beautiful. Always.”
The End.