Chapter Twenty-Six
Ava
The trickling of the shower was all I could hear in the bathroom as I sat and waited for him on his bed. I stare at my half eaten plate as I twirl my fingers around each other. I’m surprised he didn't make me shower with him, but he kept saying I needed to eat and practically demanded me to shower first so he could put the food together for me.
And thank goodness because I needed a second to myself and I was starving.
I swipe my wet hair over my shoulder, straightening my black shirt as I stand and walk over to the plate sitting on the side table. I take one bite for some courage as I pick up my folded skirt next to it and wiggle it over my black pantyhose.
I open the bedroom door slowly and look down the hallway to see if I was in the clear and sprint down the hall to the back stairwell.
If he wanted to make me feel like a prisoner, I was going to at least try and figure out my escape.
The large wooden doors to my right stop me in my tracks. I slowly step backwards as I keep my focus on its handles. The Library’s locks are gone. I steadily reached for the handles to see if they would open.
Get in, get the book, hide it in my bag.
The door cracks with a soft creak as I look over my shoulder toward Roman’s room as back my steps into the room, closing the door to my side.
“Hello,” I hear a deep voice say behind me.
I swivel around and see Nikolai, Segy and Alexei in mid-motion. Alexei is holding a plethora of knick-knacks of porcelain decorations in his arms. It looks like he is in the middle of rearranging them on a bookshelf as he stands in front of it, looking over his shoulder. Sergey is holding a fire poker with a wide smile as the fireplace flickers behind him, and Nikolai is sitting at the desk that Roman and I had sex on the first night I was here, facing his laptop.
I gulp down, searching for a response. “Oh, Hi.”
Alexei sucks in a breath through his teeth, “Oh… oh this isn't good,” he says like I just messed up. He opens his arms emptying the porcelain figurines into a full pile on the bookshelf and steps away, wiggling his fingers.
Nikolai closes his computer and stands up, “What are you doing here?”
I purse my lips to the side, chuckling nervously, “That seems to be everyone's favorite question.”
I should have kept running to the basement. I would have made it if I was quick enough and even if I wasn’t, I could have lied and said I was looking for something of mine in my boxes.
Sergey stands up cocking his head to the side, “Do you think we are dumb?”
I shift my eyes as I step backwards slowly toward the door, “I don’t know what you are talking about. Did Roman not tell you?”
“Tell us what? It is you who knows.” Nikolai responds cooly like he knows something but he wants me to say it.
But I don’t know what to even say anymore. Where do I even start?
My eyebrows draw down in confusion as Alexei’s eyebrows draw up, bobbing his head between us back and forth with a closed mouth smile.
Sergey comes out of nowhere and stands by my side as he looks at the others, “She probably thinks he doesn’t know either. But I love your imagination in such a shit reality. It’s like hope right?” he says with a broad smile.
I felt trapped, and not sure how to respond to these questions, “It seems like everyone knows but me and yet, keep asking the same questions. I wanted to grab a book,” I say.
The door opens, “This one?” I turn and see Roman standing there with the album.
My heart drops.
I fucking knew I should have kept going .
The others brush past Roman and I, lining out the door as we keep our eyes locked. I step back until I meet the table behind me. The fire cracks as I brace the edge with my palms.
I feel defeated. I will never figure out how to obtain The Rabbit Cafe or have anything normal.
I just want to go back.
He walks over to and sets the book on the table. I stare up at him and he sucks in a breath like he is contemplating what to do with me. I can’t help wanting him to use me. The need for him to pull on my cloak of existence and to keep leading me into no return; so that maybe in my tranquility of the unknown and pleasure, I will find myself on the other side. Maybe I could come up with a plan to leave and run away and forget about everything, including him except myself.
He leans into my ear, “Do you like being used?” he asks like he knew what I was thinking. His breath against me makes my knees melt and my eyes close. “You want me to have you as my play toy and that is why you don’t fight me?” The ache in my core is fear and lust, interweaving as I fight for clarity. “Say it.” His hand traces down my spine, “Say what you came for, Cottontail.” His body was so close like he was the open door, taunting me to keep entering. To give into him. To give up on myself.
I fade in and out of reasonability as my teeth grind back the real reason I came here but the reason I want to stay exhales through my nose, “I like being used,” I whisper with my eyes still closed as he brushes his lips where my cheek meets my ear.
He lifts up from me, picking me up and over his shoulder and turns toward the door.
“What the fuck, I keep saying I have legs you know…” I grumble but I like being taken care of, and who am I kidding, manhandled at this point.
He walks down the hall to his room, but I'm not sure why he would not just end my ache and pain on that same table where it began. I keep still and cross my ankles as he sinks his teeth into a bite to my outer hip. His free hand slaps my asscheek as I grab at his back from the pain. He unlatches his teeth as he slaps my asscheek again. He enters his room, slamming the door behind him with his foot.
The stun of him releasing me onto my feet juts me to step back, “I… I can… I just wanted…” I stutter as I try to explain.
His jaw tenses, inclining it up slightly as he lets out an aggravated groan. I slowly walk backwards as he walks toward me, “Why are you so afraid, Cottontail?” My calves reach the bed, “Are you going to be good for me and tell me?”
I narrow my eyes, “Why are you doing this? Why don't you kill me like everyone else?” My diaphragm aches from trying to keep my breath stable. “It's what you are good at so why keep me around?”
He cocks his head to the side as his steps halt. He clenches his fists at his side and relaxes them as his nose flares. I hold in my inhale waiting for his response, afraid it would be what I expect. As much as he wants me to admit that I want him to use me, I want him to admit that he is also using me before he disposes of me. Anger and lust twirl in my head as I wish and for some sort of truth.
“I told you, Cottontail. You are mine. The day I met you… I knew I had to have you and every soft surface of you,” he says with a straight face as he steps forward, “The opposite of me. But always mine.” He clenches his jaw like it was painful to show a sliver of anything close to kindness to me, to anyone.
My anger spirals away from the lust, leaving the ache in my lower abdomen along with the tingles of his truth, genuine and painful. I can’t help but think I knew there was something else under that shell of leather and hate or it could be my sweetness veering me to believe everyone has something good in them somewhere. The anger creeps back up, but at myself this time, knowing it probably was me playing tricks on myself and heart because I can’t trust anyone including myself.
I don’t know if I am genuine anymore or know how I feel. Discernment can’t be used if I am a fake, which is what I was. A fucking nobody. Playing pretend.
He steps to me and shakes his head like he could hear my thoughts, yet again. I can’t help needing his touch, the pain and the hurt so it can push away my fury and confusion.
He grabs me by the wrists and lifts them slowly, so slowly, in the air until my arms are straight against my ears. He restrains them above me with both hands as he clashes his mouth to mine into a deep kiss. The taste of him and our deep breaths make me want more of him. He lowers one of his hands, keeping the other over both of my wrists, and unzips the back of my skirt. The skirt slides down to the floor and settles like a plaid pool around my feet. He moves my pantyhose, alternating his tugs on my hips. I step out of them as he releases my wrists and lifts my shirt over me. I’m standing there in just my black thong and bra as he flips me to my knees to the edge of the bed. I plant my palms in front, bunching the comforter with my grip. Placing an arm around my stomach, I freeze, pressing my forearm into myself.
I hate this part of me .
I look over my shoulder, staying as still as I can.
Roman is unlatching his chained pocket watch, “My Sweet Cottontail, you will not hide away from me.” He grasps my hands and overlaps them behind my back, forcing me to sit up on my knees. He wraps his chain around my wrists. “You are fucking beautiful. Don’t ever fucking cover yourself,” he says grievously as he stands. I continue to watch him stare at me over my shoulder. He sweeps his eyes over every single curve of mine with needy eyes. I spread my knees apart for him, hanging my feet over the mattress edge. As he takes his shirt, pants and boxer briefs off, I stare at his perfect body, including his hard cock.
That fucking piercing. Fuuuck.
He unlatches the chain from me, dropping it to the bed. The way he tugs at my hips upward sends me into a forward lean. I place my palms out in front of me to catch myself. His hands run under my thong strings smoothly and yanks them over my ass to the creases of my knees. He unlatches my bra, sliding it down my arms as I lift them out of the straps. I watch as he reaches under the bed and pulls out a long chain. My breath becomes heavy with fear, mixing with my pulse for those cold restraints. I want them to pinch my skin, to prick open the fury and thirst to orgasm.
The chain crinkles next to me and is different from the ones earlier. It is lined with red silk on one side of the interlocking silver loops and there were no cuffs to this one. With two hands he grabs the chain at the ends and wraps it around my neck. I gasp as he pulls it taunt, dragging my head to look forward.
He leans his warm torso slightly on my back, “I can see your want to be used dripping from you.” His grumble makes my eyes flutter. I was wet and swollen, arching my back for my need to cry out. “So, this little slut likes chains claiming her? To be dragged down to the filth and darkness?”
I nod, wincing as the chains tighten.
“Don’t you think you shouldn’t deserve this then? With you sneaking around like the cottontail you are, always in places you shouldn't be?”
I force out a whimper, “I…I know,” I strain to say. I can feel myself grow dizzy as he releases the pressure slightly and I inhale deeply.
He grips the chain with one hand tugging me back, “Then beg me for it,” he says as he takes his fingers, swiping them over my asshole, “Beg for me to drag you into the darkness.”
I lean into his fingers slightly as my asshole puckers, “I know… I’m sorry…Please.”
A hum releases in a deep groan, “Please? You can do better than that,” he says as he increases the pressure of the chains and his fingers.
I’ve never had anyone touch me here.
I quietly moan at how close he is to enter me, “I… use me. Ple—Please, Roman.” I close my eyes, whimpering.
He spits down to on my hole as one of his fingers enter me, “Good fucking girl, such a good little cottontail,” he groans as he pulses in and out of my asshole slowly.
I moan, pushing my hips back against his fingers. The feeling is oddly satisfying and being exposed to him makes my lower self ignite.
He releases the chains from my neck and slides it to my torso, tugging my shoulder blades together. I whimper as the pulse of his finger pushes me onto my chest. I turn my cheek meeting the soft bed as he enters my slick pussy with the head of his cock.
“Yeess, fuuuck,” I cry out as he presses his cock further in with every thrust.
He spits down to his finger as he enters a second, “ So fucking needy. This is mine too, just like your pussy.” He keeps a constant pulse with his cock and fingers as he moans, “You look so good taking my fingers. You are doing so fucking good.” His grumble of moans makes my body electrify, pushing me closer to release. I tilt my chin to look at him. Meeting my gaze with his, he releases the chains. I watch him as the electricity pushes me closer and closer as he drags the chain across the bed, and doubles it onto itself in his hand. He shoves his cock and fingers deeper as he lifts his fist with the chains. I gulp nervously, trying to crawl away but stops as he swipes it over my asscheek. I scream as he keeps his constant rhythm.
He swings the chain around my stomach, yanking me back, taking his cock and fingers harder, “You are not going anywhere, Cottontail,” he says and unravels the chain, swiping the metal across my skin. He lifts the chains from me, as my body aches for a release and pain. I enjoyed the leather book that left me with welts but I'm sure a chain will make me bleed. He searches in my eyes as I nod, yes.
He enters a third finger as the metal tangs against my asscheek again. I tense my legs inward as I yell, pressing the top of my shoulders into the bed. The searing pain feels good against my skin as I bundle the comforter in my fists next to my knees. My moans become deeper and more feral as I grit my teeth and wait for him to strike me again, “Fuuuuck… Roma—”
Another wave of the metal to my ass spirals me over the edge as I shift my chin toward my shoulder. My body shakes and my legs convulse as he keeps the same rhythm with his fingers and cock.
“Mmm you feel so good. Look at you.” He groans, needy and low, as my brain fuzzes with my orgasm.
He removes his fingers and cock, pressing the head of his dick at the opening of my asshole, releasing his come with a groan. I can feel the slickness spilling in slightly and around my hole, dripping down.
I exhale, blowing my cheeks slightly out as my body shivers slightly.
That felt too good. Violently beautiful.
He leaves me as goes to the side table, opening its drawer. As he pulls out a butt plug and a small bottle of oil, I shake my head. “I don’t think that will fit,” I whisper.
He drops the chains to the bed as he walks to my back side. I keep still as he presses the tip of the black plug slightly on my hole, dripping oil around it, “I think,” he slides it slowly into me as my eyes roll back, flipping the switch of desire in me on again, “it will. And you are going to wear this for me tonight,” he says as the plug enters me completely. He stands back and watches me as I keep myself forward and ass in the air. He walks to the bathroom as I fold my arms under me, waiting for him and close my eyes.
The water stops and I open my eyes to him at the foot of the bed. He wraps one arm around my lower stomach, lifting me to sit on my knees. I spread them as he crouches, pressing me against his chest. The ache on my asscheek burns as I fold my lips inward, thinking about how much I liked the pain. How much I loved his toy inside of me. How much I was connected to so much and disconnected at the same time.
My body is fairly limp and exhausted as he lifts his hand from my stomach and gently wraps his fingers around my throat. His lips line up with my ear, “I’m proud of you. Such a good job, Cottontail.” I melt into him, leaning my head into his shoulder. He stands, releasing me, “Lay on your stomach.” He commands.
I fall forward onto my stomach hugging in the comforter with my arms stretched outward. He sits next to me as he grazes his hand over my welts. I was afraid to see what it looked like compared to the bruising the leather book made, but I know by the way it panged from his touch it broke skin. I lean up on my elbows and watch him kiss over the purple wounds.
His lips are gentle as I gulp with the fear of how much I wanted more of it, all of it.
I wanted more of how he said he had to have me and every part of me. More of the chains I beg for, so they can pull me into the darkness as they wrap around the splintered parts of me, and drag me away as my anger flows through the loops of pleasure, releasing the emotional torment of my fears and heartache.
My emotions are smothering into each other, leaving me unsure about how I will find my freedom from the restraints. How much I like being with him.