Chapter 9
M y walls were crumbling around me. I’d closed the door in their faces expecting to be done with them forever.
Now here I was, listening to their darkest moments and seeing them at their lows, and realizing they were more human than I thought.
Mathias’s panic was breaking my heart. I’d never gone through anything quite that traumatic and I hated that it had taken a playful, confident person and rendered them to this level of panic.
“I like popcorn,” he finally offered.
“Good, because this is getting weird and you need a distraction,” I said, climbing from his lap and pulling him with me.
I could feel Holt and Ash’s eyes on me, but just like when they left us alone earlier, they seemed to be giving us a moment to connect.
As much as I wanted to kick and scream and fight this bond, the truth was I could feel that they were mine. The pull was hard to resist, but now that I wasn’t running, like Ash dared me not to, I was seeing these men were more complex than I expected.
“So, in truth, I didn’t even realize you could do this,” Mathias said as he watched me pull out a pot with a lid and the ingredients.
I kept my voice steady as I walked him through each step, putting him on watching the pan as I searched out a big serving bowl.
When I had that in hand, I rested my hand over his, helping him keep the pot moving as we waited for the pop.
It was such a simple task, but he seemed to be grounding himself in it, which was what I hoped for.
“So, you know our jobs. What do you do?” Ash finally asked, giving us something to talk about more than joining in.
“Actually, I don’t know yours,” I told Mathias. “Do you save orphaned kittens? Work with at risk youth? Walk the elderly across the road to safety?”
He chuckled, the sound more full of life now that he was relaxing. I’d take it over the fear on his face earlier.
“My job is tied to Ash. I do custom paint jobs and wraps at his shop. Art is my thing,” he admitted.
“Wait a second,” I huffed, shooting them a look over my shoulder. “So, here I was freaking out about my car, and you guys could just fix yours no big deal? No wonder you weren’t as shaken.”
“We could help with yours, too, but I’d wager it is just as far gone as ours, aka not really worth repairing,” Ash said. It wasn’t cocky this time, more gentle, as if he thought I was fragile now.
“I’m not going to freak out again,” I grumped, but cut off as the first pings of the popcorn popping started. Then we were quiet again as it continued. I turned the heat off when they slowed. It was a moment of calm amidst our stress and I think we all needed to soak it in for a moment.
When we had the fresh bowl in hand, and new drinks, we all settled back on the couch.
“So, art?” I asked, popping a handful in my mouth and chewing as I waited. He took a bite of popcorn first, eyes lighting up.
I couldn’t help but smile at the way he wore every emotion on his face. It was a little less intimidating when I could see what he was feeling, not just guessing.
“Yes, it’s something I’ve always loved but my family was against. Being an artist isn’t exactly a selling point for a pack member in high society,” he said, shadows in his eyes. I could relate on the ‘family expectations’ angle. “I’ve done all kinds of art, but sketching and painting are my comfort art forms. Doing the customs on cars is something I discovered just playing around and Ash talked me into making a career out of.”
“That’s awesome,” I said, actually meaning it. “Finding something that makes you happy and is also successful is a rare thing in this world.”
“Your turn, princess. What do you do to avoid that overbearing family of yours?”
"You’re going to laugh," I sighed, not wanting to share it. I wasn’t embarrassed about what I did, but most people thought books were a hobby, not a business.
I’d heard that enough to be hesitant to share. Hell, my family loved to laugh about it.
"No, we want to know," Mathias assured me, as he took another handful of popcorn. Another bolt hit and he didn't even seem to notice. I guess we were all invested in this conversation.
"I have a small business selling books," I told them. “Mystery book boxes and single books, specifically.”
"Like you write them?" Ash asked as he took a seat in front of me, looking up at me.
My cheeks flushed, "Oh no. I did a video on social media of me wrapping a book up for mystery date with a book. It took off and I've been swamped since. I had to put my shop on vacation just to take this trip. I do singles and boxes. So, I wrap them up, they choose the genre or trope, and I send them one. Like book match making. I think people love the element of surprise… though I’ve thought of doing featured book boxes, too."
"People really like that?" Holt asked and I noticed that Ash and Mathias sent him a dirty look.
"Yes, there are a lot of book nerds like me out there. I was glad that something I did shut my parents up just for a moment," I admitted. “But what started as petty turned into a passion. I love my job.”
"How'd you end up with such shitty parents?" Ash asked.
"Lucky, I guess," I sighed. "What movie are we going to watch?"
"Smooth subject change," Mathias snorted as he clicked on the TV. "No horror, tonight."
"That's fine with me. I'm more of an action or fantasy type," I said as I snuggled into the couch.
"Oh, what about that new dragon movie? It's action and fantasy," Mathias asked, his mood lightening up even more. He had the type of energy that could hype up even the worst of moods.
Maybe that was why he and Holt worked in a pack together.
"Sounds good to me," I said as the other two nodded in agreement.
Mathias did his magic with the little box, bringing up the movie.
"How’d you do that?" I asked.
"Well, if I tell you all my secrets what would you need me for?" Mathias asked, giving me a charming grin.
I chewed my lip to stop myself from speaking. What I wanted to say was that I could think of a few other things, but we weren’t there yet. Instead, I had to mull over what my answer should be.
"Who doesn't like an independent woman?" I countered.
"You’re our omega, we can't help but take care of you. It’s our purpose. So, you'll have to give us some time to adapt to not doing all the things for you," Holt told me.
I’d never agreed to be their omega, they seemed to forget that. I figured it was best to keep that snarky comment to myself for now. Play nice a little longer and feel them out.
"I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to have support, but books are a passion for me. I love what I do right now and have no plans to give it up," I warned them.
"We may be assholes, but we aren't heartless," Ash started, before casting a wry glance at Holt. "Well, Holt might be. But we will do everything within our power to support you and even help raise you up to the next level if you want."
"Oh, I just had an idea," I said with my cheeks flushing again at the thought.
"Pray tell," Mathias said.
"You're gonna hate it," I warned them, biting back a grin and building anticipation. They were too easy to mess with. Plus, they deserved every bit of my harmless teasing.
"Just tell us already," Holt half growled. My grumpy alpha didn’t have much patience.
"So… I think it would be helpful for my socials if I got videos of the three of you reading books and even helping wrap orders," I finally told them. “If we try this whole pack thing, I’d love for you to be involved.”
"You really think that customers would like that?" Ash asked, not sold but not opposed. I’d call that a win for now.
"You guys must not be on the book side of the apps. There are a lot of thirsty readers. Hot guys with books are a major turn on and will up the rating and views. It might get my page leveled up a bit, which would be huge for sales. Ash on his motorcycle, helmet and all, is a kink. Holt on horseback and Mathias covered in paint? Oh, I have so many ideas." I gushed before I realized that the three of them were staring at me. My cheeks flushed and I reined it in, sinking further into the couch like I could disappear. I could already hear mom and my sisters in my head, telling me I’m being a freak again. "Sorry, I got lost in my own head again. I told you, you didn't have to agree. Just an idea."
Now I was embarrassed and they weren’t saying anything. Maybe I was too much for most people, like mom always accused me of.
"That seems weird," Holt started before Ash slapped his leg.
"It's not for everyone," I said quickly. "Just forget I said anything."
I was shutting down and withdrawing, and the omega inside of me was screaming for them to say something else to fix this, to not make me feel like I can’t be myself around them.
“He’s being a dick, I’d love to hear your ideas. Just because we don’t understand it, doesn’t mean we aren’t willing to give it a go. Plus, we all know Ash will thrive under thirst traps,” Mathias said.
“All I have to do is read and look sexy? I mean, that’s a pretty hard job,” Ash said, flexing his arms for added effect.
I let out a laugh, shaking my head at them. Inside I was glowing, my omega puffing up with pride at her pack knowing exactly what she needed.
My phone dinged and I reached over Ash to grab it. I heard a hitch in his breath when my breasts rubbed on his head.
Whoops. Too late to take it back.
I picked up my phone and saw it was Bea. Shit, in my haste I forgot to message her all day.
"Can you pause the movie? I need to call my best friend before she tries to drive up here and defend my honor from you three," I said before asking Ash to move this time. I didn't want to brush anything else on him.
Okay that was a lie but I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. We had a lot more trust to build back.
"Do you really think that she could take the three of us?" Holt asked as he moved over and held out a hand to help me up. I accepted it and he pulled me to my feet.
"Ever heard of the wrath of a woman? Whatever you imagine… it doesn’t have anything on Bea," I laughed.
"Shit, you better call her," Mathias said, shooing me out.
That got a laugh from all of us and it made my heart happy that we were getting along. I didn’t feel like running scared anymore and that was huge. They’d made me feel vulnerable, then handled it, they didn’t just let it fester and push us further apart.
I dialed my bestie’s number once I was in the kitchen and she picked up on the first ring.
"Bitch, are you alive?" she asked in a rush. I winced at the worry in her voice.
"Yeah, surviving. I went into town today and hid out. Visited a few cute new places. Mom-and-Pop stores are my favorite," I answered.
"Oh, yes. Let's chat about the boring stuff you are doing and not the three hotties that are plaguing you with their attention," she said, sarcastically.
She always knew what to say to get a laugh out of me.
"Well, Holt is a wizard in the kitchen. He cooked dinner. Though, he’s a blunt asshole and doesn’t realize how his words sound. Ash is a flirt, but he’s trying to make me comfortable. Mathias is more gentle and enthusiastic, he’s making me not want to run, if that counts for anything. We played truth or dare… aaaand Mathias kissed me.”
"WHAT?" she screamed into the phone the moment I stopped speaking. "Damn you. Why didn't I come with you."
"We both know at the mention of my family, you were out," I reminded her. “Plus, we are besties, not packmates.”
“Ugh, you’re right,” she sighed. “But we should have known that it was a setup. All jokes aside, I hate that you’re facing them alone.”
“They’re not as bad as I thought,” I admitted, voice low so they wouldn’t hear. She snorted, then when I didn’t say anything she realized I was serious.
“Wait, what?”
“It’s a lot to explain now, but there was a huge misunderstanding and a whole lot of manipulation they didn’t see. I’m not just diving in, but I’m less angry now. When I’m alone I’ll break it all down for you.”
“You fucking better,” she said. “Because I’m not sold.”
"Can I text you tomorrow? We’re watching a movie," I said, knowing anything else would just be overheard. And honestly? I was ready to be back on that couch between them. I loved how their scents blended like this. Holt and his blackberry cobbler, Ash with his cherry limeade, and Mathias’s citrus punch made this vibrant, fresh, sweet-and-tart blend that had my head swimming and my omega ready to let it all go for them.
"Yes, but I want more details," Bea stated, pulling me out of my inner thirsting. "Love you, bitch."
"Love you more, jerk," I said back before I hung up and headed back to the living room.
The three of them were talking and laughing with each other. The moment I got near them they stopped and turned to stare at me. The way they studied me had me feeling vulnerable all over again.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing. All well with your friend?" Mathias asked.
"Yep, I promised to call her tomorrow. I told her we were watching a movie," I replied as I took my spot back between all three of them.
"She's not going to come and kill us in our sleep, is she?" Ash questioned, as he moved back into position in front of me.
"The jury is still out," I laughed as Mathias played the movie.