Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Mazzy
Six Months Later
My stomach was in knots. I had no idea how this was going to work, but standing outside the rugby stadium was round one of my ideas. If this didn’t work, I’d move on to round two.
Of course, I had to figure out what round two was if it came to that.
My dad’s voice came through my phone, loud and clear. “Stop fidgeting, Mazz. Everything will work out like it’s supposed to.”
“How do you know I’m fidgeting?” I asked defensively, even though I absolutely was. If he were here, I would have been leaning against him. He wasn’t a big man, but he would have supported me like he always did.
“You’re my daughter. I know you.”
I had no argument. No one knew me better than my dad. “Blurgh. I know. I’m nervous, though. Can you really blame me?”
I probably should have found a way to get in touch with Ben before flying to Denver to...ambush him, I guess. But news like this needed to be given in person, and my dad had agreed. So, here I was, possibly minutes away from telling Ben Wells I was having his baby.
My stomach lurched. Drat. This was crazy. My bladder suddenly felt like an overfilled balloon, and my feet were doing tappy-taps on the sidewalk.
I smoothed my hand over my bump, still in disbelief it existed. I’d only confirmed my pregnancy two months ago, and even now that I was able to feel her kicking regularly, I was still in a bit of denial that this was real. In a few months, I’d have my baby in my arms.
This obviously hadn’t been in my plans. I was still in college.
I had another year before I graduated, then I intended to go to law school.
When I’d held the positive pregnancy test in my hands, my first instinct had been to terminate.
I wasn’t in the right place to have a baby.
Not even close. And a baby from a one-night stand? No way.
But I’d slept on it, becoming less and less sure with each passing day. As an international adoptee, I knew none of my biological family. I’d been well loved and taken care of by my fathers, yet had always yearned for something I hadn’t been able to name until adulthood.
A genetic connection. A tether to my ancestors. History I could touch, smell, see with my own eyes.
Maybe it was a selfish reason to keep this baby, but it wasn’t only that.
I’d be able to finish my degree after she was born, and law school could wait a year or two if needed.
I had a strong support system in my father.
And even though I was only twenty-one, I was confident I was capable of being a mother.
Okay…somewhat confident. Luckily, I had my dad to bolster me.
“I don’t blame you, sweetheart,” my dad said, steady as ever. “But based on everything you’ve told me about Ben, he’s a nice guy. He’ll undoubtedly be surprised, but I really don’t think he’ll react badly.”
“What if he does?” I whispered, a tight band squeezing around my chest.
He didn’t hesitate. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you every step of the way. You know I always wanted more kids. And if your papa…well, you know. I’m eager to get my hands on my granddaughter.”
What he didn’t say—couldn’t because it still hurt too badly—was when my papa died, they’d been in the process of adopting another child from Ukraine, where they’d gotten me as a toddler.
The way laws worked back then, gay couples couldn’t adopt together, so my papa had been doing it as a “single man.” Without him, everything had fallen apart.
It had been my dad and me for a long time, and I knew he would love this baby and never let me flounder alone.
A car pulled up to the players’ entrance, and I held my breath. A broad man in a suit climbed out the back, and I blew it out. He wasn’t who I was looking for. He stopped and signed autographs for the few fans gathered by the barriers then made his way inside.
“The players are starting to arrive,” I said, my hand shaking. “I’ll call you once I speak to him.”
“It’s going to be okay, Mazz. Don’t worry,” he assured me.
“I know.” But I didn’t. I hoped it would be, but I wasn’t anywhere near sure. “Bye, Dad. Love you.”
“Love you more, sweetheart.”
I slipped my phone in my pocket and placed my hand on my belly. The baby growing in me swished and swirled like she was as nervous and antsy as I was.
Another car pulled up, then another, neither holding Ben. I told myself to stay calm. Take deep breaths. He would be here soon, and he’d be surprised, but everything would be okay.
My memories of him might have softened around the edges with the months that had passed, but I still remembered his kindness. And the way he’d looked at me before I’d walked away from him in the airport. Ben Wells was a good man.
Everything would be okay.
An SUV pulled up, and I worried my bottom lip with my teeth as the door opened. The guy next to me yelled, “Hey, Romeo!” as a head of curly brown hair emerged. His face was revealed little by little, and my heart lodged in my throat.
He looked so…different. Harder. His hair was tamed with product, each curl neatly nestling with the next.
In a navy blue suit, white button-down, brown belt and matching shoes, he was slick and handsome as ever, but slightly smaller than I remembered.
And when he smiled at the fan who’d called to him, it wasn’t as bright and effervescent as it had been all those months ago.
My fingers curled around the barrier as he signed a couple autographs, my mouth going desert-dry.
This no longer seemed like a good idea. Had it ever?
I should have emailed first. Then again, I didn’t have to tell him I was pregnant just yet.
Well, the belly might have given me away, but maybe he wouldn’t notice.
Maybe we could go out to dinner after the game and—
“Do you have something for me to sign?”
I looked up at the man staring down at me. “Um…hi,” I squeaked.
He cocked his head, amusement and impatience laced in his expression. “Hi there. Do you want a picture?” He nodded toward the phone I hadn’t even remembered taking out of my pocket but was clutching in my hand.
I forced myself to speak, but nothing came out as planned. “I don’t even like rugby. Well, apart from the shorts. Everyone likes the shorts.”
His laugh was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. “Oh yeah? You do know you’re at a rugby stadium, don’t you?”
“Yes.” I blinked hard. “But only for you. I came to see you.”
His wary gaze shuttered. “If you don’t want a picture or an autograph, I need to get inside.”
“But—” My brow dropped, and tears threatened to spill over. This wasn’t going how I’d expected. Not even close. “You don’t remember me at all?”
“I’m sorry, but I meet a lot of people.” He started to move away from the barrier. “I have to go—”
“I’m having your baby.” I stepped back in the other direction, showing him the evidence. “We weren’t careful that night. I thought my pill would cover it, but I might’ve missed a couple because of the flights, and…well, I thought you should know. I’m not expecting anything from you—”
He leaned over the barrier, fast as a whip, his face closing in on mine, jaw as rigid as steel.
“Listen to me carefully. You and I both know we have never met. That is not my child. I’m sorry you’re confused, but those are facts.
If you show up here again, try to contact me, or tell anyone you think you’re having my child, you will hear from my lawyers.
A lawsuit is the only thing you’ll ever get from me, so please, walk away now, and we can both pretend this never happened. ”
Every ounce of hope and oxygen was instantly and irrevocably sucked from my body, leaving me a bobbling husk. If there’d been even the slightest gust of wind, I would have blown away. Part of me wished I was.
Ben stared at me like he hated me. Two minutes ago, I wouldn’t have thought this man capable of such an expression, but he’d just proved how little I knew about him.
“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered, so hollow I didn’t know how I’d found the air to speak. “I won’t bother you again.”
He pulled back, his gaze darting over me, then he nodded. “Good luck with everything. And please do not come back here.”
I stumbled backward until I hit a brick wall—the only thing keeping me from falling. That wasn’t…even in my worst nightmares, I never would’ve imagined he’d react that way. At the very least, I’d thought he’d be happy to see me, and maybe, eventually, come around to being happy about the baby too.
But he’d…denied ever knowing me. He wanted nothing to do with his baby.
Oh, holy hell. How had I gotten here?
I put my phone to my ear. My dad picked up in two rings. “Daddy?”
He must have heard it in my voice. He knew. “Come home, sweetheart. Come home, and I’ll take care of you.”
Six Months Later…
I would never get over the sound of my baby girl falling asleep before surgery.
The high-pitched inhales as the anesthesiologist held the mask over her tiny face.
Her eyelids fluttering then falling closed with such finality, it felt like I was taking my last breath.
Leaving her there on that big table, though…
made everything that had come before pale in comparison.
I worried. Fretted. Paced while my father watched me, endlessly patient.
We’d been through this same procedure on her right eye two weeks earlier, but that hadn’t made it easier.
Little babies shouldn’t have to endure surgery.
It didn’t make sense to me. Katty was only three months old and still so small for her age at eleven pounds. This was too much. For her, for me…
“She’s going to be fine,” my dad promised, knowing I wouldn’t believe him.
“Right,” I said, still pacing around the cramped hospital room.
“She’ll be able to see, Mazz. Her world is going to open up.”
“I know.” I shoved my fingers through my hair. “I know this has to happen, I just can’t stand it.”
He crossed his legs, resting his arms on his knees. “I guess I should count myself lucky you had your surgeries before we met, so I didn’t have to go through this.”