Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Mazzy
I don’t know what I’m doing here.
Well, technically, I did. I was at the Mountain Lions stadium to meet Ben during his practice. It had been a few days since our phone call, and I still wasn’t certain why I had agreed to this. This decision didn’t make sense, even to me, the one who’d made it.
I guessed I felt I owed it to Katty—to try one more time, so when she was older, I could explain I hadn’t given up. I’d done all I could to foster a relationship with her father. In my heart, I knew it was fruitless, but I had to try.
Did that mean I had to come back to the scene of the crime?
Sure, it was convenient to my job, so it was easy to take a long lunch to meet him. But the stadium? The place where he’d broken my heart? I’d done my best to avoid it since moving to Denver, and here I was, voluntarily walking right in.
I smoothed my hands along my wide-legged trousers and futzed with the collar of my blouse. When I’d left the house this morning, Katty had told me I looked pretty. Now I was feeling dowdy and old.
Not that what I looked like mattered. I wasn’t here for me. This was all about Katty.
A security guard escorted me to the locker room and told me to wait outside.
Taking a deep breath, I leaned against the cinder-block wall, willing myself not to puke.
I shouldn’t have been nervous. If anyone was going to be nervous, it should have been Ben.
He was the one who’d put us in this position.
He was the bad guy who had a whole lot to prove.
I’d done everything right. Everything I could have.
Chill out, Mazzy.
The locker room door swung open, clunking against the wall, and out stepped Ben Wells.
He was even bigger than I remembered, filling the doorway as he looked for me.
When he found me, the smile that spread across his face, sunshine after a storm, was so dazzling, I nearly forgot I kind of hated him.
“Mazzy Belle!” He started toward me, his arms wide. “You’re really here.”
Pushing off from the wall, I held up a hand. “Ben Wells. You’re very sweaty.”
His black, sleeveless shirt stuck to his chest and abdomen almost obscenely, and rivulets of sweat ran down his neck. His curls were damp, but still managed to be wild, poking in every direction. And his thighs…they were threatening to burst out of his black shorts.
He just wandered around like that? No wonder he got strangers pregnant.
Ben stopped in his tracks, looking down at himself. “Oh crap. I am.” He scanned me from head to toe. “I’d say screw it and hug you anyway, but you’re dressed fancy. I don’t wanna stink you up.”
“That would be great. I have to go back to work after this—”
He moved into my space and cupped my cheeks, tilting my head back. My heart stopped when his warm eyes landed on mine, filled with affection I didn’t understand.
“It’s so good to see you.” His smile hadn’t wavered even once since he’d come out of the locker room. “How long has it been?”
“Five years,” I managed to rasp.
“And you live in Denver now? For how long?”
“Um…” I licked my lips, trying to remember what time meant. “Almost two years.”
“Really? All this time…” His thumb stroked along my cheek. “Doesn’t matter. You’re here now, and I couldn’t be happier.”
Finally, he let my face go, but only to hold my shoulders. He took another long look at me, meandering his gaze from my loafers to the collar of my shirt. Then his eyes, lit like high beams, met mine.
“You look so professional. I love it, Mazz. Where are you working?”
“A law firm.” I pointed behind me, like he could see my building four blocks away. “I’m an assistant while in law school.”
“Hell yes. That’s awesome, baby. Using that big brain of yours to kick ass and take names.” He shuffled back and forth on his feet, almost dancing. “No wonder I had to slot myself in for a midweek lunch. You’re busy being awesome, huh?”
I was busy, that was true, but that wasn’t the reason I was here in the middle of the day.
When Ben had called, he’d taken me by surprise.
Well…that was an understatement since I’d almost fainted in shock.
Once I’d pulled myself together, I’d thought strategically.
If we had to meet, it needed to be in public with a time limit.
Plus, I didn’t want to take away from the too-short time I got with my daughter. Not for him.
“I don’t know about that…” I glanced at my watch. “Is there somewhere we can sit down for a minute?”
His brows popped. “Right, right. I’m sorry for being rude. You just…look so different yet the same. It threw me all the way off guard. Let’s go have lunch. I’ve got it all set up.”
His hand took up most of my lower back as he guided me down the hall to a small room, seeming to be a lounge. There was a table set up with baskets of stadium food, along with bottles of soda and water.
Ben pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit down before he took the seat across from mine, eyeing the massive pretzel and hot dogs with the same zeal he’d had for me.
“I never eat this kind of food during the season, but come on.” He picked up a hot dog slathered with ketchup and grinned. “You showing up calls for a celebration, doesn’t it? I still can’t believe you’re here, Mazzy Belle.”
“I can’t either, to be honest.”
He talked around the hot dog in his mouth. “Thank your crazy cousin for me.”
“Kylie isn’t crazy. She’s…passionate. And protective.”
He wiped his mouth, cocking his head. “Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. I don’t know her, obviously, but she seemed pretty pissed off at me. What’s the story there?”
I stared at him in disbelief. My jaw might have even come unhinged. I couldn’t really feel my face to know.
He wanted the story?
He wanted the story!
My fingers dug into the edge of the table as I held on for dear life. “You’re not funny.” That was as civil as I could be, and I fully intended on staying that way. Even if Ben Wells was a degenerate, no-good windbag, I would rise above.
His brow dropped. “I’ve kinda always thought I was, but…” He scrubbed the scruff on his jaw. “Let’s back up a step. I think I’m missing something. You seem as angry at me as Kylie was. Did I do something wrong, Mazzy? If so, tell me what it was. I’ll fix it.”
“This really isn’t funny.”
Rising above went out the window. How could he sit there and pretend he didn’t know exactly why I was angry at him? There was no way I could continue this. Not without shoving that stupid hot dog down his throat and watching him choke on it.
Kylie would approve.
Katty wouldn’t like having to visit me behind bars.
“I’m so damn lost,” he uttered, an expression of genuine befuddlement on his face. Which was rich. Incredibly rich. His confusion fueled my fury.
I pushed back from the table, tossing my wadded-up napkin down. “I can’t do this, Ben. If you would like to continue some type of conversation, let’s go through lawyers. I’ll text you my lawyer’s phone number when I get back to work.”
Spinning on my heel, I rushed for the door, my mind already on what I’d say to my mentor, Miranda. Hopefully, she’d be willing to take me on, since technically I didn’t have a lawyer. And I imagined a man like Ben had a whole harem.
Unfortunately, I got as far as the door before Ben caught me, blocking my escape with his oversized body. He took me by the shoulders, holding me in place, and tried to capture my gaze.
“Lawyers? Mazzy, slow down and tell me what’s going on. I’m definitely missing something, and I hate that you’re mad at me.” He nudged my chin with his thumb, tipping my head back. “Please explain. I want to understand.”
My jaw rigid, I uttered, “Let go of me right now.”
He complied immediately, his hands falling to his sides, but made no effort to move out of my way. “Talk to me,” he pleaded.
“Before you called me, I thought we’d both said all we needed to the day I came here.
I’d written you out of my life and had gotten on with it.
If you want to be part of her life, I’m willing to hear you out, just don’t”—I waved my hands frantically around and in front of him—“put on this innocent act. We were both there, and I will never forget the things you said to me. We won’t be friends, Ben, and I will protect my daughter with everything I have—”
“You came here?”
“Ben…” I groaned in frustration. Why did it seem like we were having two separate conversations? “You know I did. I came to tell you about her, and you sent me away.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and rammed the heel of his hand into his forehead. “I feel like I’m having one of those dreams where I keep asking questions and only get half answers.”
“Then let’s end it now. Like I said, I’ll text you when I get back to the office.”
“No.” His eyes flew open. “No, I need you to explain like I’m a complete stranger, because the last time I saw you was at the airport in LA.”
I sighed. “That isn’t true.”
“It is.”
He sounded so adamant; if he hadn’t scarred me so deeply with his rejection, I would’ve believed him.
“I came here, Ben. You know I did.”
“When?”
“Six months after LA, I found you…”
His forehead crinkled, and something like disbelief sent his head knocking against the door behind him.
“Did you say you have a daughter?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know it then, but we made a little girl. She’s four and a half and the love of my life. So it was worth it. Everything. We don’t need you, but if you want to know her, I won’t stop that, unless you hurt her.”
“What are you saying?” He grabbed my shoulder again. This time, it wasn’t to get my attention. His hand was so heavy on me, it felt like I was the only thing holding him up. “Mazzy, what are you telling me? Your daughter…is mine? Is that what you’re saying?”