Chapter 19
Teddy
I hadn’t left my apartment since Friday night. Every time I thought about facing the world again, I remembered that I’d kissed Connor, and the memory of his mouth on mine—him pinning me to the door—shoved me right back into my bed.
Evie, Lola, and Micah, all texted me endlessly, but I’d faked a migraine and hid like a coward.
That didn’t mean they gave up, though. Micah lived in the same building as me, after all, and of course she had my spare key.
Sunday morning, I’d woken up to a note and soup on my kitchen counter from her and then proceeded to feel guilty the entire day for lying, so I had to text her back, at least.
I’d also ignored texts from Connor, as in deleted them before opening them because I wasn’t prepared to talk yet.
All in all, it was shit.
I wasn’t suffering from a migraine, I was suffering from red-hot embarrassment.
How was I supposed to face him today? Usually, I was good at avoiding him, opposite schedules and all, but I had a feeling he’d seek me out.
I’d have to admit that I grabbed him, kissed him, rubbed myself all over his dick while his hands roamed over my ass…
No, I wouldn’t let my mind go there again.
Training started in ten minutes. This wasn’t like me. On a normal day, I’d already be inside warming up, instead of sitting in my car in the parking lot like a big scaredy cat.
I blew out a breath. “Just get out,” I muttered to myself. “Get out, walk in, act normal. This is just another Monday.”
My head collapsed onto the steering wheel for a second as I groaned.
What had possessed me?
Why him?
It wasn’t even just a little kiss. I’d jumped him. I’d wanted him.
Heat shot up my neck so violently, I jerked upright.
No, no, no. Absolutely not. I wasn’t doing this again.
Forcing my fingers to unclench, my pulse still skittered in my neck, but I ignored it.
For someone who captained a professional team, who handled press and pressure and bullshit investors, I was doing a spectacularly bad job at handling one kiss.
I’d kissed men before—not many lately, but I had.
But none of them had ever made my body react days later.
I reached for the door handle before I spiraled into another round of humiliation.
The moment I pushed through the side entrance, the familiar scent of eucalyptus rub and detergent wrapped around me.
Normally, it would soothe me, even out my pulse—routine, order, purpose.
Today, it only reminded me of how wildly out of control I’d been on Friday night.
Voices echoed from the changing room as I approached.
A familiar chorus of laughter. The thud of feet.
Those noises confirmed why I get up every morning, what my job was when I stepped inside these doors.
But after two days of self-imposed exile, all it managed to do was tighten the ball of anxiety lodged in my throat.
If I kept my head down, maybe no one would notice the neon sign that I’d walked in here with. The one that said yes, I did kiss Connor O’Riley. I stepped inside, praying the crackle of nerves running through me wasn’t obvious to anyone looking.
Lola saw me first, blinking in surprise before her mouth tilted into a grin. “Well, look who’s alive.”
Evie’s eyes narrowed like she was scanning me for symptoms. “Are you feeling better, Cap?”
“Yeah, better,” I said, setting my bag down and pulling out my boots. Keeping my head down was my only option.
Micah entered the room but didn’t say anything at first, though the way the room went still made it obvious every eye was on me. My ears pulsed with heat, but I resisted the urge to shift away.
“Morning, everyone,” she said. I flicked my eyes up to her briefly to see her attention on me, and I looked away again.
Could she tell I’d lied? I wasn’t sure. “Alright, we’ve got a shake-up training today.
Our first game is next week, so the coaches want us to group with the guys this morning and do a shared session. ”
My stomach dropped straight through the floor.
No, in fact, it felt like my whole skeleton might fall out of my ass.
A group session? Whose idea was that? I bent over and yanked the laces to my boots tight enough to sting, my fingers fumbling and crossing them wrong before starting again.
I was going to have to stand beside him today, act like nothing happened between us, and pretend my mind wasn’t replaying it in perfect clarity.
“Fantastic. A shared session with the Knights before ten in the morning. I didn’t carb-load nearly enough for this,” Delany said.
Evie hummed thoughtfully. “I did. For entirely different reasons.”
Lola wiggled her eyebrows. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Absolutely,” Evie replied. “If we’re partnering for drills, I’m calling dibs on someone tall enough to lift me without breaking a sweat.”
“That’s all of them,” Lola pointed out.
“Exactly.”
“I’m sure your boyfriend would have something to say about you being lifted by them,” Lola quipped.
“And your girl would be fine?” Evie retorted.
“Fair point.”
Micah shot them a long-suffering look, though the corner of her mouth twitched, and I was grateful the conversation was distracting. I exhaled under my breath, letting my pulse regain normal rhythm as I listened to them.
“You two do realize the Knights are not here for you to climb like trees, yes?” Micah crossed her arms.
“Oh, we realize,” Lola said breezily. “We just choose to ignore it.”
Evie tilted her head, mock pondering. “Do you think they’ll do those resistance runs again? You know, the ones where someone holds on to your hips from behind while you push forward?”
Lola’s hands flapped in excitement. “Or maybe we can do human sled drills where we hang off their necks and they pull us.”
“Anything to get under a Knight,” Evie joked.
I choked on nothing, scrambling to keep my face neutral.
Because if there was one thing I did not need, it was the image of Connor above me.
The memory of his warm hands gripping my hips surged to the surface again, stealing the air from my lungs and tightening my muscles like my body had braced for impact.
“You good, Cap?” Evie’s voice brought me back to the present like a cold splash of water.
“Yep,” I said, too fast.
“Alright, enough. Shared sessions are professional opportunities, not auditions for your dating lives.” Micah clapped her hands, stopping the chatter.
Evie grinned. “Can’t it be both?”
“No,” Micah replied dryly. “It really cannot. Don’t make me regret this, girls.”
Lola leaned closer to me and Evie as she passed, whispering conspiratorially, “If the Knights do partner stretches today, I’m throwing myself at fate.”
These girls were all talk and jokes. I wondered what they’d think of me, knowing that I’d climbed the Knights’ captain like a tree two days ago.
My cheeks warmed again as I bent over my bag, pretending to search for my water bottle, just to hide my face.
“Here,” Micah said, passing me a bottle she retrieved from her bag.
I froze for a beat before taking it from her. “Thanks.”
She didn’t move away immediately. She lingered long enough that I had no choice but to lift my chin and meet her eyes.
“Something’s up with you.” Frowning, she crossed her arms over her chest again.
“I’m good,” I said, but the words felt sour on my tongue.
“Something has you off kilter. If it’s just the migraine, then fine, but if it’s something else…” She didn’t finish the sentence, clearly hoping I’d do that for her.
“Salty about the fact I’ve spent the last month making sure we were in separate rooms to the Knights and now we’re rubbing shoulders on purpose.”
It was partially true, but not the entire reason for my mood. Obviously.
“I get that,” Micah said. “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like, though.
Both coaches came up with this idea Friday night, apparently.
I’m guessing you both played nice enough for them to see teamwork.
” The tone of her voice was inquisitive.
She was asking about what might’ve inspired them to think of it. “Know anything about that?”
My fingers tightened around the bottle neck. “No, I left after food.”
“Alone?”
I bit my lip. “Yes, alone. I got an Uber back because I had the start of the migraine.”
I knew my best friend didn’t believe me when her eyes dimmed and she gave a small nod, looking past me instead of meeting my gaze. “Okay,” she sighed. “You and Connor are on warm-up, then coaches are running the rest.”
She left without another word, and I closed my eyes, inhaling. In for four. Out for four.
Slow it down, settle the heart rate.
My fingers dug into the sides of my braid and tugged. I didn’t like that I’d lied to her, but it was temporary. Once my head was clearer, I’d tell her the truth, but now wasn’t the time.
I forced my feet to move, though they resisted, heavy and sluggish, like the ground beneath me was laden with cement.
The tunnel stretched ahead, walls narrowing.
Brightness at the far end widened and spilled across the floor.
One by one, the shapes of my team came into focus, blues and whites contrasting with the greens of the grass.
I slowed without meaning to, taking a breather as the chatter grew louder.
Someone laughed, and my spine straightened when the low rumbles of male voices got louder. But it was pointless delaying this now.
I just hoped that neon sign above my head wasn’t as obvious as the flush on my face.