Chapter 40
Teddy
My body was sore in all the right ways.
I was getting used to waking up here. We’d been spending time between his place and mine over the last few weeks since the barbecue. More his lately, since his place was bigger too, and I loved being closer to the beach.
Opening my eyes, I stretched, reaching instinctively for warmth that wasn’t there. The other side of the bed was empty, sheets cool where Connor should’ve been, and that coastal breeze fluttered in through the slightly open balcony doors, making the sheer drapes dance.
There was movement somewhere there, the low timbre of his voice traveling through the gap of the open doors. I hadn’t planned on listening, but his voice carried as I pulled the covers higher.
“…yeah, I’m here,” he said, his tone sharper than I was used to. “No, I know. I saw the email. Is it going to delay things?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I shouldn’t be listening. I should get up, shower, go about my day.
“I’m available later this afternoon,” he continued. A pause. “I can make my way there. Do you need me to bring anything?”
When he spoke again, his voice dropped even further, edged with something else and the edge of his shadow passed on the side of the glass door.
“I said I’d consider it.”
My stomach tightened.
My heart was thudding into the mattress as I forgot all about not listening, and stopped breathing.
“I’m aware of the timing,” he said. “That’s why I need a few days, they can wait.”
Another beat where I couldn’t breathe.
“…it’s a done deal, I told you already,” he finished. “Yeah, I agree this is big it’ll change a lot but I’m ready for it.”
The call ended and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Pretend I had no clue about the fact he’d be moving to another country? If that’s what he was talking about, I can only assume.
I was used to this, to people making decisions and leaving. I’d learned early in my life not to chase explanations that weren’t being offered. And if he was going to tell me, he would’ve done it already. This was just another fleeting thing.
Was that what I even wanted anymore? We hadn’t talked about it. Maybe I needed to finally talk to Micah and tell her everything first.
I wasn’t ready to tackle that thought process yet. Covers pooled to the bottom of the bed as I moved, my feet finding the cool wooden floor, and my lungs expanded.
The sliding door creaked open more and Connor leaned in, hair damp, a T-shirt and sweats hanging casually from his body. He smiled when he saw me, the same easy expression he’d worn last night, like nothing had shifted in the hours since we’d gone to sleep tangled together.
“Morning,” he said. “You sleep okay?”
I nodded, quickly. “Yeah, you?”
He crossed the room, coming to stand in front of me. His thumb brushed along my jaw, absent, thoughtless, like muscle memory, as he dipped to kiss me, soft and gentle.
My hands found his hair and I held him there for a little longer, reveling in a moment that felt good.
“You want to take a walk on the beach with me?” he asked against my mouth.
I nodded, forcing a smile I didn’t fully feel, but wanted to. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
He grinned, satisfied, and turned away, pulling clothes out of his drawers.
I stayed where I was for a beat, watching his back as he moved, my lips still warm from the kiss and my stomach twisting with the certainty that whatever we’d been doing, there seemed to be an expiration date lingering between us now. It didn’t matter how good this was.
Some things could feel easy and still change everything.
Nothing told me this was wrong, though. Or that I was ready for it to end.
My phone buzzed on the table, a message from Micah lighting up the screen, as though she knew.
Micah
You’re not home again. I don’t need to know everything, just tell me you’re okay.
Guilt dropped like led into my stomach. I had been avoiding being one-on-one with her because I hated lying, and I was sure she knew something was up.
At first, the idea of keeping this quiet was because of the media frenzy, but now telling our friends might not be as scary as I once thought.
I still wasn’t sure if Connor was moving, and I knew I wasn’t ready to hear the answer to that.
I didn’t want to burst the bubble, but I needed to do something.
Teddy
I’m okay. We should probably talk after the game tomorrow.
Micah
I think we should, too. I hate it when we have secrets.
So. Much. Guilt.
“Here you go.” Connor passed me my T-shirt and yoga pants as I locked my phone and briefly smiled at him.
I dressed, and we took a short walk to the beach.
Feeling the sand on my feet was exactly what I needed, the grains warm and shifting under every step while the tide whispered in the distance.
The morning air carried that clean salt smell that always drifted around the stadium and I inhaled deeply.
Connor’s hand found mine, further settling me in the moment.
I was confident enough to say, “I think I’m going to tell Micah about us. ”
His hand tightened around mine as we found a spot near the rippling shoreline.
Turning to me, he crooked his forefinger and thumb under my chin, leaning in close.
“I think that’s a good idea.” He pressed his lips against mine.
“I don’t want you to feel like we’re a secret.
I lo—like being around you a lot, but I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for.
” He immediately cleared his throat, but his eyes stayed fixed on my face.
I swallowed at the word he’d almost said and my breathing quickened.
My nerves frayed a little, and suddenly I wanted to ask him everything about Ireland and if he’d planned on leaving after all, because if that word came up, then surely…
? I don’t even know. But instead, “Me too,” came out.
“You can tell whoever you need to as well.” Which was another way of saying, if you’re staying, you can tell your friends.
“Jake will have a field day over us,” he said with a smile. “I think Bobby might be a better choice. At least then Micah doesn’t have to keep it from him, too.”
I exhaled at that, some tension loosening. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for now. I was all for baby steps.
He sat down, guiding me between his legs as we watched the waves lap meters away from us, the soft swoosh echoing in the rhythm of his breathing behind me.
His arms rested around us both, fingers tracing slow lines in circles around my wrist. I wasn’t even sure if he knew he was doing it. The steady movements worked its way through the leftover tension in my shoulders and they dropped.
I rested my head against his shoulder. “Do you think they’ll be surprised?”
“About us?” he said, rumbling behind me. “No chance.”
“Because you’re super obvious about being obsessed with me?”
A hiccupped laugh jostled me in his arms. “I—” he started, clearly not expecting that. “Is it a problem if I am obsessed?”
The sun was warm, but that wasn’t the reason I felt my entire body notch up a few degrees. I tilted my head needing to see his face. “Do I really have that much power to get you addicted and obsessed, Connor O’Riley?”
The depth of his expression knocked the humor out of the question faster than I’d intended. “Sunshine,” he purred, his voice somehow not drifting away in the breeze but sticking to my skin, my lips, my cheek, as though it was a caress. “You’ve had that power for a while.”
I hadn’t expected him to answer like that. The joke I’d started felt a lot more important, especially with the way he was looking at me.
That four-letter word whispered in my mind, and I wanted to know if he heard it too.