Chapter 2 #2
My hair is still dripping when I grab a microwave dinner out of the freezer to heat up. It’s not healthy, but I’m too damn tired to cook. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted, and I still have to call Mom. Retracing my steps to my room, I grab my phone from the bed and dial her.
“Copeland, I miss you,” she answers. It’s the same way she’s answered my calls since the very first one I was allowed to make while in boot camp. It was quick, and we both needed to say what was most pressing. It’s her thing. Our thing.
“Hey, Mom. How are you feeling?”
“Perfectly fine. I know Chandler was going to call you.”
“Yeah, he called. Why didn’t you tell us?” My tone is soft, but even I can hear the undertone of hurt. I’d do anything for my family.
“I wasn’t sure there was anything to tell. There was no point in having you boys worry with me.”
“And now?”
“And now, I’m going to kick cancer's ass. I have two sons, an incredible daughter-in-law, and two gorgeous grandbabies. I miss your dad with everything inside me, but I’m nowhere near ready to join him just yet,” she says.
Her tone is normal, with no cracking or tremors, just Mom being her superhero self.
“Definitely not yet,” I agree.
“It’s the early stages, which is good,” she says, her voice softer.
“I’m coming home,” I tell her. I should probably wait until my application for dependency discharge is approved, but I’ll do whatever it takes to get home to her, even if that means that I miss out on my retirement.
It’s not like I have a wife and kids to leave behind, and thanks to Chandler’s stint in the Marines, he has a small benefit that Macie and the kids will also receive.
“You don’t have to do that. I know how busy you are,” she says.
“Busy? Really, Mom? You’re headed into the fight of your life, for your life. I’m not too busy to be there for you for that.”
“Cope, it’s not going to be pretty.”
“I didn’t think it would be. I want to be there. It’s where I need to be,” I tell her. “I’m coming home. You got a room for me?” I ask her.
“I’ve been using your old room as a craft room,” she tells me.
“That’s fine. I’ll stay in Chandler’s old room.” I shrug, even though she can’t see me.
“Oh, yeah, that room is the grandkids' room,” she says. “But that could work.”
“So, since my last visit, you’ve turned my room into a craft room, huh?” I ask, because she’s starting to sound suspicious. “I guess I’ll be sleeping on a bunk bed,” I muse.
“Copeland, are you sassing me? I needed a place for all my quilting supplies.”
“No, ma’am,” I grin even though she can’t see me.
“She’s single,” she blurts, and my breath stalls in my lungs, my mind fighting to process her words. “I know you don’t want to talk about her, but Ellison is single. She has been since the day you left. I’ve never heard about her dating, and this is a small town, Copeland. I would know.”
“She’s single?” I ask, my voice cracking.
“She is.”
Fuck. I run my fingers through my hair. After all these years, she’s still unattached.
I never wanted to hear about it, but now, I’m wondering why I didn’t let them tell me.
I could have gone back to Magnolia Ridge and fought for answers.
Fought for her. For us. Instead, I hid behind the pain and the fear of what it would be like to watch her love someone else the way she’d loved me.
“I’ll get the bunk bed ready for you,” Mom tells me, and I can hear the smile in her voice. “Just tell me when you’ll be here.”
“Mom,” I say, clearing my throat. “That was a long time ago.”
“You’re not going to deny your mother who’s fighting for her life, are you?” she asks.
“Too soon, Mom, too damn soon,” I grumble.
“Oh, hush,” she scolds. “I want both of my boys to be happy and settled. You’ve never loved another after Ellison Moran, and honestly, Copeland, I think she feels the same.”
“Felt. Past tense.”
“I brought you into this world. I wiped your ass, and I know all of your tells. There is nothing past tense with the way you feel about the oldest Moran girl.”
I smile because I can picture her standing with her hands on her hips, giving me that mom look that she’s perfected over the years. It’s the one that says, “I have eyes in the back of my head, and I know all things, so just try me.”
Besides, she’s not wrong. There will never be a day when my heart doesn’t belong to Ellison Moran.
My Ells.
“Too much time has passed.” Even as I say the words, I don’t believe them.
Hope blooms inside my chest. Could Ellison be mine again after all these years?
I’m pissed for all the time I wasted. All it took was my mother saying two little words, words I told her and my family I never wanted to hear, but now that they’re out, I can’t unhear them.
She’s single.
“Just keep an open heart and an open mind,” Mom says.
“Yeah,” I answer, my voice raspy. “I’ll keep an open mind.” I don’t say anything about my heart, because it’s been closed to anyone but Ellison since the moment my lips first touched hers all those years ago.
My mind takes me to a moment, another regret where Ellison is concerned.
I remember getting that phone call. I wanted so badly to go to her.
I wanted to wrap her in my arms, along with her sisters, and hold her.
I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but she was no longer mine to comfort.
I went home anyway. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming. I stood at the road during the graveside service and watched as my once-best friend, Bowen, wrapped Ellison in his arms. He had Ellison on one side and Courtlynn on the other, holding them both tightly.
Macklin, one of my other close friends from high school, had her younger sister, Baylor, in his arms, and Dixon, the fourth of us in our friend group, was holding on to Leighton. The seven of them stood in a small circle beside their grandparents, grieving their loss.
The guys and I kept in touch with a call or text message here and there, but seeing them in her life the way I craved to be, it cut deep.
Even though they knew talking to me about her was off-limits, the relationship still felt strained.
They were pissed that I left. They didn’t understand, and of course, I never tried to explain it to them.
I told myself that if she needed me, I’d make myself known, but it was plain to see she didn’t need me. None of them did.
My brother, my mom, and Macie had been there, and they had each other. They didn’t need me either. I said a silent goodbye and caught the next flight back to North Carolina. That was the last time I laid eyes on her, and suddenly, that’s all about to change.
She’s single.
She was always meant to be mine.
Now’s the time to fight for my mother and for me. It’s time to break open the past, battle for answers, and fight for the only woman I’ve ever loved.