Chapter 6
Six
Copeland
I slept like shit. My mind wouldn't shut off.
If I wasn't thinking about Mom and her appointment today, I was thinking about Ellison.
Between the two, I may have managed to catch an hour of sleep.
Let's not forget about my internal clock.
After nearly twenty years of getting up at the ass crack of dawn, my body thinks it's time to get to work long before the sun comes up.
I tried to go back to sleep, but it was pointless.
Instead, I went for a run on the trails here at the Manor.
Ellison and her sisters have made numerous changes to the grounds, and the running and walking paths are particularly nice.
Maybe I'll bump in to her today, and I'll get the chance to tell her.
Not that I think that she'll be overly eager to speak to me, but that doesn't mean I won't try.
I'd give anything to be able to just sit next to her and talk.
To hash out what happened all those years ago.
I'd tell her that not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her, and really, I just want to hear her voice.
I want to watch her blue eyes light up as she talks about something she's passionate about, or when she's telling me a story about her sisters.
Damn, I knew I’d missed her, but being here, knowing that I'm here to stay, it's really hitting me how much.
Grabbing my phone, wallet, and keys, I head downstairs to the dining room for breakfast. It's early, six o'clock, which is when they start serving. Six to nine is what the brochure on the bedside table says. Mom's appointment is at ten in Nashville, which is about an hour's drive from here.
“Good morning, I’m Alice,” a woman who appears to be in her late fifties to early sixties, greets me. “You can find menus on the table. We cook to serve for breakfast,” she explains.
“Good morning, ma’am.” I nod.
She waves her hand in the air. “Oh, none of that.” Her cheeks flush pink.
“Yes, ma’am,” I say with a smile, and she laughs. “I’ll have two eggs over easy, hashbrowns, and wheat toast.”
“Perfect. And to drink?”
“Black coffee, please and thank you,” I tell her.
“I’ll have this out in a jiffy,” she says, disappearing behind the swinging door that leads to the kitchen.
My back is straight, hands resting on my thighs, not on the table, as I stare at the single daisy in the center of the table.
Ellison always loved daisies. They were her favorite.
Only she loved the wild-colored ones. She called them crazy daisies.
I don’t know if that’s their real name, but they used to carry them at the grocery store over by the deli.
I would buy them for her all the time, and the smile that lit up her face was worth the guys giving me shit over being whipped.
I was whipped.
I was in love with her, insanely so.
Hell, I still am.
“You can relax, you know.” I turn at the sound of the voice to see Leighton standing behind me with a laptop bag on her shoulder and a travel mug in her hand.
“Habit,” I tell her. “Want to sit?” I ask, nodding to the seat across from me at the small table.
I was never close to Ellison’s sisters. I spent more time with Baylor than with any of them.
I’m sure I’m the last person Leighton wants to sit with, but she’s an extension of her sister, and I’m craving that connection.
“I don’t know. Is that considered fraternizing with the enemy?” she asks. Her tone is light and playful. She moves to take the seat regardless of her words.
“I don’t want to be the enemy.” The confession rolls off my tongue before I can stop it.
“Hmm,” she says, not bothering to reply. “Your mom’s appointment is today, right?” Leighton asks, ignoring my statement.
“Yeah. At ten. I’m going to eat, then head over to her place.”
Leighton nods. “Let us know if we can do anything to help. Mary has always been there for us.”
There’s something in her eyes, a challenge maybe, but I don’t take the bait.
“Thank you.” I straighten the silverware that doesn’t need to be straightened.
“I don’t know what we’re up against. They didn’t tell her much, just that it was stage two and that they caught it early.
All I know is what I’ve found on the internet, and that’s… overwhelming,” I admit.
“Don’t do that,” Leighton says softly. “Take your questions and your answers from her doctors.” She surprises me when she reaches across the table and places her hand over mine. “Take it all one day at a time, Copeland.”
I nod. “I know. It’s hard not to research it, though. I feel like that’s all I can do right now.”
“Today, you should have more answers. I meant what I said, no matter what it is, if you need us—any of us—you let us know.”
I know she’s trying to tell me that Ellison is included in that, and I like to think I’m a strong man. I’ve been faced with things during my career in the Marines that many couldn’t fathom. I’ve faced it with a stoic expression, never letting anyone see how it affects me.
However, sitting here, in my ex-girlfriend's family business, with her little sister telling me that their family is here for me, that shit gets me choked up. I clear my throat, hoping that when I speak, it’s steady.
“Thank you.” I nod. My voice gives me away with a slight waver.
Leighton smiles softly, telling me without words that she understands.
She heard it, but she’s not commenting. Not that I thought she would.
Besides, she believes it’s all about Mom, and it is; it’s about her and my fear for what this disease is going to do to her, and hell, possibly take her from us far too soon.
But it’s also about her sister. Being in the orbit again of the only woman I’ve ever loved is fucking with me.
Alice arrives with my breakfast and places it on the table. “Leighton, what can I get for you?” she asks her.
“Oh, nothing for me, Alice. Thank you. I’m just going to settle into the corner over there and get some work done.”
“Well, I’ll be out in a little while to fill that up.” She motions toward the travel tumbler in Leighton’s hands.
“You spoil us, Alice. Thank you.” Leighton smiles kindly at her.
“And you. Can I get you anything else?” Alice asks me.
“No, ma’am. I’m all set. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she sings, as she turns and heads back to the kitchen.
“I’ll let you eat.” Leighton stands and pushes her chair in. “Let us know how it goes today.” She moves to walk past me, but pauses and places her hand on my shoulder. She gives it a soft squeeze without saying a word, before she keeps on walking.
I sit quietly and eat my breakfast without tasting it. Alice appears, asking if I want more, and offers a coffee refill or to go, and I decline both. “No, thank you.” Reaching into my wallet, I pull out a five-dollar bill and hand it to her.
“Oh, heavens, we don’t take tips. This is what we do.”
I drop the bill onto the table. “And this is what I do, ma’am.” I nod toward her before standing and pushing my chair in. “Thank you for a delicious breakfast.” I’m sure if I could have tasted it past the worry lodged in my throat, it would have been as good as it looked.
With one final wave to Leighton, I head out to my truck to meet my mom and my brother. Today is going to be a long and emotional day, but that’s okay. We’re going to get through this.
When I drive up to Mom’s, Macie’s SUV is already there. Pulling in a breath, I slowly exhale before climbing out of my truck and making my way to the front door. My mom meets me at the door with a warm smile on her face. “We’re ready if you are,” she says, trying to hide her worry.
“Mom,” I breathe and open my arms. She steps into my embrace, and I hold her. I fucking hate every minute of this. Pulling away, she wipes at her eyes, but she’s still smiling.
“We’re all going to be just fine,” she assures me, tapping her hands against my chest.
“Because you’re going to kick cancer’s ass,” Chandler says, stepping out of the house and pulling the door closed behind him. “Let’s get on the road,” he says, walking past us and down the steps to the SUV.
“We’re going to be really early,” I tell Mom, watching Chandler as he walks away.
“They called and had a cancellation. They can see me at eight thirty, and well, we might as well get it over with.” She links her arm with mine, and I lead her to the passenger side of the SUV.
“I can sit in the back,” she says when I pull open the front door. “Your legs are too long for the back seat.”
“I’ll have plenty of room to stretch out with the entire back seat to myself.” I wink and nod toward the door. Mom smiles and shakes her head before climbing into her seat. I wait until she’s all buckled in before closing the door and climbing into the back.
“Have you eaten?” she asks, turning to face me.
“I ate at the Manor. You all?” I ask.
“I ate with the kids before school, and this one had some toast.” Chandler nods toward our mom, keeping his eyes on the road.
“I wasn’t hungry,” she defends, but we all know it’s her nerves. Not that I blame her. I barely tasted my food. “How were my grandkids this morning?” Mom asks.
Chandler chuckles. “Colter was trying to convince us he needed a mental health day because he aced his spelling test yesterday, and Maeve was crying because the braid in her hair was too tight.”
“Ah, so a normal day, then.” Mom laughs.
“Pretty much,” Chandler agrees.
The drive is long, but there’s so much for us to catch up on.
The conversation flows easily. Chandler and Mom tell me all kinds of stories about his kids, while Chandler tells us he’s thinking about getting them a dog, now that they’re both old enough to help take care of it.
Colter is ten, and Maeve is eight, and I’ve missed out on a lot of uncle time with them.
I’m looking forward to spoiling them and building that relationship now that I’m home for good. My brother and sister-in-law could use some adult time, I’m sure. I know Mom helps them out, but I’m here, and I want to be a part of their lives, as well.
I try not to think about the fact that they should have a few cousins by now—at least that was always the plan—but life knocked the wind from my sails.
I always assumed that Ellison had moved on.
Now that I know she’s still single, maybe there’s a chance, even all these years later, that we’ll get our happy ending.
There’s so much we’d have to work through, but damn if the thought isn’t the first thing to light me up inside since… well, the last day I was with her, if I’m being honest.
“Do you have any further questions?” Dr. Benson asks.
Chandler and I are on either side of our mother, each of us holding one of her hands, as we sit across from the doctor who just spelled out her treatment plan options and a ton of information that we’re all trying to process.
“So, the PET scan will help determine the best way to approach this?” Mom asks.
“That’s correct.” Dr. Benson nods.
“Okay.” Mom bobs her head. “Let’s do that.”
“Great. We’ll schedule that, and once we have the results, we’ll have a better understanding of what we’re dealing with, and we’ll be able to ensure the cancer hasn’t spread to the lymph nodes.”
“Okay,” Mom says, her voice calm.
“You’re not experiencing any other symptoms, and had your mammogram not detected the lump, you could have gone on longer without knowing.
That’s a good sign.” Dr. Benson looks at me and then at Chandler.
“Do either of you have questions or concerns? Is there anything that I can explain that you might not be understanding?” she asks, her tone soft.
I clear my throat. “No, ma’am,” I say.
“No,” Chandler says, his voice raspy.
“I’ll have the nurse come in and get you scheduled. In the meantime, if you think of a question, please call the office. My staff will get it to me, and I can get back with you.”
“Thank you, Dr. Benson.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll send Kathy in to get you scheduled.” She stands and walks out of the room.
“Now we know the next steps,” Mom says, looking from me to Chandler.
“How are you feeling about all of this?” Chandler asks her.
Mom doesn’t answer right away, but when she does, she reminds me yet again how strong and resilient she is.
"I feel like I'm ready to fight," she says. "I'm not ready to leave this earth. I miss your father every single day, but there’s too much I still want to do. I’m not ready to leave my family, and I’m not going to let this disease take me before it’s my time.”
Leaning over, I press my lips to her cheek. “Whatever you need, it’s yours. Good days, bad days, and all the days in between. Lean on us, let us take care of you for a change.”
“I’m glad you’re home, Copeland. I should feel guilty that my illness is why you’re here, but they say everything happens for a reason, and maybe bringing you home is our reason.”
“Damn, Ma,” Chandler says. “Way to get a guy all emotional.” He wipes at his cheek, which is completely dry.
“Oh, hush, you.” She slaps at his arm, playfully.
“Nowhere I’d rather be,” I assure her. And it’s the truth.
I’ve let the pain of losing Ellison keep me in the military, thinking it’s where I needed to be.
Now, I see how much I’ve been missing. I would visit at least once per year, but it felt different than this.
I felt almost as if I were an outsider looking in on my family.
We talked every week, but it’s not the same as being here.
“Knock knock.” The nurse who took Mom’s vitals enters the room. “Let’s get you scheduled for your PET scan, Ms. Mary.” She smiles kindly, and within ten minutes, we’re back in Chandler’s SUV, heading home.
“Are either of you hungry? Need to stop anywhere?” Chandler asks.
“I’m good, but if you boys need to stop, that’s fine with me,” Mom answers.
“Boys?” Chandler teases. “Mom, I’m forty, and that one back there, he’s not far behind me.”
“Hey! I’m only thirty-five, old man,” I tease. Chandler’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror, and he smirks.
“Let’s not talk about how old either of you is. I’m sixty-three. It’s as if you were both babies last week,” she says. I can hear the nostalgia as well as the humor in her tone.
“Macie mentioned having dinner tonight. The kids would love to see you,” Chandler offers.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I made plans with my quilting club. Alice is having a new grandbaby, and we're working on a piece for her daughter.”
“Alice? From Magnolia Manor?”
“That’s her.”
“She made my breakfast.”
“She moved to town about two years after you enlisted. Her husband’s job was transferred to Franklin, and they didn’t want to live in the city, so they settled in the area. She’s been working at the Manor ever since,” Mom explains.
Chandler chuckles. “Gotta love a small town.”
“Yeah,” I agree. I guess I forgot how everyone knows everyone, and they’re usually all up in your business. I can’t stop my grin as I think about it. It’s damn good to be home.