Chapter 7
Seven
Baylor
My heart thrashes in my chest, and there’s a swarm of butterflies in my belly. Macklin holds my gaze, waiting for me to say something, say anything, but I’m at a loss for words, which doesn’t happen to me often.
When he told me he had a story for me, I never imagined that story would be that he’s wanted me for years. That every turn my life took somehow placed me just out of reach, like a timing game neither of us knew we were playing.
I swallow hard, my fingers curling into the soft fabric of the blanket he covered me with as his words replay in my head.
Years. He said years like it was nothing, like it didn’t mean he’d watched me build a whole life with someone else.
Like it didn’t mean he’d stood on the sidelines while I gave my heart away—to the wrong person.
“To hear you say all that—” My voice comes out quieter than I expect, fragile in a way I don’t recognize. “I don’t even know what to do with it. I don’t know what to think or how to feel.”
He shifts closer, not touching me. It’s as if he’s giving me space to breathe, to process everything he’s just told me. However, his presence wraps around me anyway. Warm and steady, making me feel comfortable despite the drumline inside my chest.
“You don’t have to do anything with it,” he says softly.
“I just needed you to know. I know that you need time, Baylor. I know that he hurt you. He didn’t deserve you,” he says, his tone tinged with anger.
“But when you’re ready, I want my chance.
I want to show you how it feels to be treated with love and respect.
I want to show you what our life together could look like.
I don’t care how long it takes. You take all the time that you need, but Baylor, I’m going to be right next to you every step of the way.
Until you tell me that I’m not what you want, that you could never see a future with me, I’m going to be right there.
Ready. Willing. Waiting for you to give me my chance. ”
Knowing changes everything.
Because this isn’t a passing crush or a matter of convenient timing.
This is history. This is a lifetime of knowing each other.
A man whom I crushed on when I was younger, one I always made an extra bracelet for.
My crush faded while his ramped up…? How is this real life?
He took me off guard today in the stables, but this, his confession, wasn’t at all what I was expecting.
He’s sitting here next to me, telling me he’s been waiting and that he’s never stopped wanting, and now he wants his chance.
My chest warms, wanting to fall into his embrace.
But my head knows that words spoken can be empty.
It’s actions that speak volumes, and he’s right: I’m not ready.
Not after just ending a five-year relationship that went on for far longer than it should have.
That’s on me. I stayed. I thought we were on the same page, and it was just a hump we needed to get over.
Relationships are hard, and I didn’t want to give up.
I didn’t want to fail. Yet, ultimately, he ended us, without even knowing he was doing it.
Actually, I think he knew, which is why he hid it from me.
I think there’s a part of my ex that cared for me, but not enough.
I haven’t even heard from him. Not the way my brother-in-law loves my sister.
Not the way my dad loved my mom. I want that, and I won’t settle for less. But when I’m ready…
I let out a shaky breath, pressing a hand to my chest as if I can physically calm the chaos inside me.
“Macklin… I just got out of something that—” I stop, my throat tightening.
Five years. Five years of believing in something that slowly unraveled until I barely recognized myself in it.
“It broke something in me,” I admit, the words tasting like truth and fear all at once.
“I don’t trust my judgment anymore. I don’t trust…
men. Not the way I used to.” The words taste like gravel on my tongue, because it’s the first time I’ve admitted how much the betrayal hurt me.
I don’t miss Todd. He ruined that. There will never be a chance for reconciliation.
But I miss the life I thought we were building.
I miss the security I thought I had knowing he was my person.
Todd blasted all of that to smithereens, and what’s left is me, floundering, trying to find a new rhythm, trying to see where I fit in, where I’m headed, and into another relationship wasn’t on the list. At least not this soon.
I have a lot of healing to do before I get there.
His expression doesn’t falter. If anything, it softens, as if he expected those exact words to fall from my lips. Like he’s been preparing for this moment, too.
“I know,” he says quietly. “And I’m not asking you to just flip a switch and trust me.”
His green eyes soften as does his tone, letting me know there’s no pressure, no demand, and that makes my chest ache even more, because this is Macklin, and that childhood crush of mine means there will always be a special place for him in my heart.
Not to mention how he and the guys stepped up for my sister when Copeland enlisted.
“I just want the chance to show you,” he continues. “To be here. To be consistent. To give you everything. To show you what we can be together.”
My eyes sting, and I blink rapidly, hating how exposed I feel right now. Hating how much I want to believe him, and hate even more that I can’t.
“That’s a lot to offer someone who might not be able to give it back yet,” I whisper.
He finally reaches for me then, slow and deliberate, like he’s asking permission even in the movement. His fingers brush mine, warm and grounding, and when I don’t pull away, he laces them together.
“I’m not afraid of that,” he says, his tone gentle.
“I’ve waited this long. I can take it one step at a time.
With you. Maybe you’ll never change your mind.
Maybe you’ll tell me I’m not the man for you.
If that’s what you decide, I’ll have to live with that, but Baylor, I have to try.
I’ve wanted you for so long, and so many times, I’ve pushed those feelings down, buried them deep, yet they’re still there. ”
My chest tightens, fragile hope trying to bloom beneath the pain and the scars from my past relationship. It’s risky, too risky, and before Todd, I would have jumped in, not caring where I landed, but time changes you, betrayal changes you. At least both did for me.
My head tells me to run. To haul my ass off this couch and out the front door.
My head tells me that men can’t be trusted, no matter how long you’ve known them or how much sincerity is glowing in their green eyes.
But then there’s my heart, that small piece that will always be his—a childhood crush, the unobtainable. Except, he’s not anymore.
It’s all too complicated, too risky, and I know at the end of the day, I have to protect myself from the pain.
Sitting here, in his home, with the faint scent of my favorite dinner he made for me still lingering in the air and his hand wrapped around mine as if it belongs there, is messing with me.
I don’t feel pressured to give in to this idea of us, but I do feel seen.
It’s been so damn long since I’ve felt that.
That feeling? It’s more dangerous than anything else.
“I don’t know. I’m scared,” I admit, my voice barely above a breath. My confession is vulnerable, but if I can give him anything, it’s my truth. He deserves that much.
His thumb brushes over my knuckles, steady and sure. “I know,” he replies softly. His touch isn’t unwelcome, but this is all just too soon, too much.
I look up at him then, really look at him, at the boy I used to know and the man in front of me now.
The one who laid his cards out on the table.
He isn’t demanding anything, and he’s telling me he’s not going to disappear.
That he’ll give me the time I need, and isn’t that what I want?
Action, because words are pretty and flowery, but if the person who says them doesn’t mean them, doesn’t live out what he claims to want, what’s the point?
Will he really be there, but not pressure me?
My heart is still racing, still bruised, but also… curious. “Let’s say, we try. What happens if I can’t be what you’ve built up in your head all these years?” I ask. Because even outside of my pain and distrust, there’s that thought of what if I’m not enough for him.
A small smile tugs at his lips, soft and certain. “Then I’ll get to know who you are now,” he says. “And I’ll want her instead.”
His answer breaks something open inside me. I can’t count the number of times I wanted Todd to choose me, and now, here’s this man, one I’ve known since I was a kid, telling me I’m all he wants. I want to trust him, but it’s too soon. I need time.
I exhale slowly, my grip tightening around his hand.
He gives me a soft smile, and I want to tell him that I’ll try, that we can see where we end up together, but I’m still too raw, and if I’m being honest, I’m still trying to wrap my head around his confession.
I didn’t know. My sisters didn’t know, because I’m confident they would have told me.
Can I really trust his words? I guess only time will tell.
“This is a lot, Macklin.”
“I know. I’m sorry to dump my heart out at your feet, but if you can try to look at it from my perspective, I’ve kept quiet too many times. Years have gone by, and still the only one I think about is you.”
“You’ve never even kissed me, or tried to kiss me,” I blurt.
He leans a little closer. “Do you want me to kiss you?”
“I mean, how do you know you want to? I could be bad at it. Messy. It could feel like kissing your sister.”
He laughs, his shoulders shaking. “I can guarantee you you’re not bad at it, and so what if it’s messy? Life is messy. Besides, if you need proof, I can show you.”