Chapter 9 #2
“No one said anything about a wedding,” I cut in. My voice comes out sharper than intended, as if I’m trying to regain control of the conversation. It might also be a little bit about Todd, and the memory of what I thought my future might look like, and now, I’m just uncertain.
About everything.
Macklin’s head whips around so that he’s looking into my eyes. Suddenly, it’s as if we’re the only two people in the room. “Let’s hope so, Court,” he says, but he’s not looking at her. He’s looking at me.
Something is happening in my chest. Something fast, chaotic, and impossible to ignore.
My heart is pounding so hard, I’m sure they can all hear it.
My palms are damp, fingers curling against the cold metal of the filing cabinet I’m leaning against, just to stay upright.
Because let’s be honest. My knees are not steady. Not even close.
This isn’t a joke to him. He means every word he’s saying. There’s a clear intent in his tone, just like there was last night. I didn’t imagine it all.
Macklin McBride wants me to be his.
The thought settles inside me, rooting somewhere deep where it shouldn’t belong. It’s too soon, and he doesn’t know the adult me, not as well as he should for those kinds of declarations. He’ll change his mind, just like Todd did.
Taking a deep breath, I try to force air into my lungs, trying to think past the way he’s looking at me like I’m not one of his closest friends’ little sister.
Like I’m not off-limits. No, he’s looking at me like I’m a choice he’s already made.
Determined to make everyone in the room see his intentions clearly.
That’s the most dangerous part of all of this. Because there’s a small, traitorous part of me that wants to believe him. That small part wants to step into his arms, feel them wrapped around me just as they were last night, and just be.
When he held me last night, it didn’t feel wrong or as if it was too soon and I was moving on too quickly. It felt like we fit together, and that’s even more dangerous.
I need to shut down that line of thinking because it will only lead to more heartbreak, right? That’s what history has shown me, and my mind is telling me that history will repeat itself, no matter what my heart is suddenly yearning for.
My grip tightens on the cabinet. “Wedding? Do you even hear yourself right now?” I manage to ask, my voice quiet, not defiant, and definitely unsteady.
His expression doesn’t change. If anything, it softens. Just enough to make my stomach flip. “Yeah, Baylor,” he says simply, “I do.” His lips tilt in a smile at the pun, whether intended or not.
He’s the air of certainty. No hesitation, no visible doubt. He’s not backtracking or retracting his words. Instead, he remains steadfast, standing behind what he said, and the way those green eyes of his are locked on mine, he’s willing me to believe him.
I don’t know what to do with that.
I don’t know what to do with him.
I don’t know how to handle the fact that my entire world, for the second time in a matter of weeks, feels like it’s tilting in a new direction.
Toward him.
Quiet surrounds us. I have no idea where to go from here, but Macklin decides for me.
He steps into my office, pulling his body away from the doorframe he was resting against. It’s only a few strides until he’s standing in front of me.
He bends and presses a kiss to my forehead.
“Have a good day,” he whispers, but not low enough that my sisters don’t hear him.
When he stands to his full height, he waves at them.
“You ladies enjoy your day,” he says, and then he’s gone.
“Holy hell, Bay, that was smoking hot,” Courtlynn says, waving at her face with her hands.
“That’s a side of Macklin I’ve never seen before,” Ellison tells me.
“He’s—wow,” Leighton says, apparently at a loss for words.
“See!” I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air. “I don’t know what to do. I’m barely out of a long relationship. It’s too soon to jump into another one.”
“Says who?” Courtlynn counters.
“You’re the only one who gets to decide what’s right for you, Baylor. Not us, not Macklin, not society. Whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy. That’s what we want for you.”
“Do you think that could be Macklin?” Leighton asks. “Do you think that he can make you happy?”
“He says he can, but I know all too well that men will tell you one thing when they mean another.”
“Baylor Moran,” Ellison scolds in that stern I am the older sister, you must listen to my voice tone. “That’s not fair. Not all men are the same, and Macklin’s never given you reason not to trust him.”
“Do you trust him?” I counter, putting her on the spot.
“I do.” Ellison nods. “He’s a good guy, and while I had no idea that he was harboring feelings for you, I can tell you that no one around here has caught his eye.”
“We should test him,” Courtlynn says, excitement in her voice.
“I don’t want to play games, Court.”
“No games, but a test. The next time he’s out with the guys, we’ll send in a spy. I can call Lorna and have her go and keep an eye on him. Hell, maybe I’ll have her hit on him.”
“No. I don’t want to do that.”
“Party pooper,” she mutters.
“He’d pass,” Leighton speaks up.
“What makes you so sure?” I ask, needing to hear her answer.
“Because he’s a smart man, and he knows what he has to lose. It’s not just you, but all of us. We’re a unit. Mess with one sister, you mess with them all.”
“This isn’t a schoolyard scuffle.” I laugh, feeling an invisible weight lift from my shoulders, knowing my sisters have my back.
“I know that,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“For what it’s worth, I think that Leighton is right. He’d pass with flying colors.”
“And what if you’re wrong?” I ask them. “What if he takes back his words? What if he only thinks he wants me to fall in love with him? What happens when I do fall, and he walks away or changes the plan?”
“He wouldn’t do that,” Ellison says with conviction.
“I don’t know if my heart can risk it, Ells.
Already, I find myself wanting to believe him, and that’s dangerous, scary even.
He’s a piece of my past, my childhood crush, and he’s here in my hometown.
A place I wanted to run from, only to come rushing back when times got tough.
I’ve missed you all so much, and I’m sorry I left.
I’m sorry it took me so long to see that this is where I was meant to be. ”
“Losing Mom and Dad was hard for all of us,” Ellison says gently. “I knew you needed to spread your wings. I’m just glad you’re home.”
“You set the pace, Bay,” Leighton says, her tone gentle. “Take your time, have some dinners with him, spend time with him. Take this as slow as you need to. You never know, Macklin McBride might be your happily ever after.”
“I’m not so sure that I believe in those anymore.”
“Don’t do that,” Courtlynn says. “Don’t let Todd take that from you. What that asshole did was wrong, but that’s on him, not on you or Macklin or any other man who might want to pursue you. Although if I get a vote, Macklin’s got it.” She winks.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “All of you. It feels really good to be home.” I love being here in person, hugging them, being an active participant in their lives, and they in mine. I was a fool to ever leave this support system behind.
“Right? Staring at your tiny face on the phone screen was awful and made it impossible to do this,” Courtlynn says, standing and pulling me into a hug.
Leighton joins in when Ellison calls, “A little help here.”
We all laugh as Leighton helps her stand.
After our group hug, everyone moves out of my office to get started on their day, leaving me with numbers that make sense to me, my memories from last night, and how Macklin showed up here today.
I eye the KitKat that sits on my desk, and I can’t help it.
I smile. No one I’ve ever dated has ever tried or put effort into it, into me.
Not like Macklin seems to be determined to do.
All I can do is take it one day at a time and hope that clarity will find me.