Tulips and Lost Time

4. Luc

4

LUC

POETRY IN ACTION

“ L uc?” Jess’ voice echoes from somewhere on the ground floor of my home. Same voice as Laine. Same intonation. Same inflection. Same cussing when something pisses her off. And yet, I can still tell them apart without even looking. “Hey, Luc? Where are you?”

Billy’s already asleep, snoozing in my arms and completely relaxed after a bottle and a giant fart. She has a perfectly good crib I could put her in. A blanket I should wrap her in. She has a pacifier I could pop between her lips if she becomes fussy.

But I don’t want to put her down yet. And she doesn’t seem all that rushed to leave my arms either.

Just like I had an ache brewing in the base of my spine, pushing my sisters along a boiling, almost melting road in the height of that summer, I feel a similar ache in my arm now, holding a baby for hours without moving. Maintaining this exact position even though my bladder reminds me it’s almost time to get up.

“Luc?”

“I’m upstairs.”

I keep my voice low-ish. Just loud enough for my sister to hear but not so startling that the baby will wake. Then I turn my head on the cushion and study the doorway in silence. Counting down Jess’ approach as the fourth stair creaks, then the third one from the top.

I’ll fix them someday .

Maybe.

Eventually.

I told Kari I would. But like the floor she ended up doing on her own, this may just be another job I never find at the top of my priority list. Because there’s always something more pressing calling upon my time.

I rock in the chair, gentle, slow swoops of the glider that seem to bring the baby comfort. Then I look my sister up and down when she stops in the doorway, her arms so often laden with her own twin girls, now occupied by a foil-covered plate.

She’s still as beautiful as ever. As youthful.

Maybe her experience as a twin has prepared her for a life of being a mother to two. Because I’ll be damned if she looks any older than she did back when we saw her off to college for the degree that would eventually have her sitting the bar exam.

She’s got it all; the career, the kids, the husband.

She knows how to make things happen in her life, and even when the world gets a little cruel, she holds on and ensures everything rights itself in the end.

Just another skill I never quite mastered, it seems.

“I brought you dinner,” she murmurs. Though she doesn’t infringe on Billy’s room. She doesn’t cross the threshold and invite herself in. “We had baked chicken with all the trimmings.”

“Potatoes?”

She grins, her sky-blue eyes twinkling in the overhead light now that the sun has gone down. “Parmesan smashed potatoes. Your favorite. Glazed carrots. And green beans, too.” She slides her tongue forward and wets her dry bottom lip. “I ate with Kane and the girls because I knew you wanted to be alone for a while.”

“But you couldn’t go to bed without feeding me first?”

Her eyes well up, swelling because Kari is her best friend, too. Hurting, because all her life she’s idolized the ground I walked upon. And now I’m in pain. “I’m never going to bed and leaving you out in the cold, Luc.” She swallows, the bob of her throat visible as she looks down at Billy. “Can I hold her? You could eat,” she explains, “and I could have a few minutes with my favorite niece.”

“Your favorite?” I force a chuckle through my chest. The sound is tinny and not all that genuine. But it’s better than breaking down and giving up on this fucked up world. “You have, like, five nieces, Jess. It’s not nice to play favorites. ”

“We just won’t tell the others,” she teases. Finally breaking away from her spot by the door, she meanders into the room and carefully sets my dinner on the changing table. “It’s still brand new,” she snickers. “Still clean enough to eat off of it.”

“Not true. Bill shat all over the place an hour ago.” My stomach growls anyway. My last meal… I don’t even know. Breakfast, maybe. While I sat by Kari’s bed and choked down enough sustenance to get me through the day I never wanted to come.

Carefully pushing my legs down, I force the footrest back into its cavity beneath the chair and take extra care not to jostle the baby awake. I hold her with just one arm, numb as it may be, and use the other to push myself up until finally, my feet touch the floor, and pins and needles roll up through my legs to remind me I haven’t moved in a while.

“I guess I’m kinda hungry,” I admit, rocking Billy out of a habit I never possessed a mere ten days ago. Leaning in and pressing a kiss to her button nose, I wander toward my little sister to hand her off.

But I don’t.

I don’t offer the baby, and I don’t know that I can breathe if she’s not in my arms.

“I’ll stay right here where you can see me.” Jess scoops her hand into the crook of my arm. Her moves, smooth and practiced after a couple of years with her own. Then she backs up toward the recliner. Turning and watching where she’s going would be easier. Smarter. But she keeps her word and allows my eyes to stay with my baby. “Eat something, Luc. You have to eat, or you’ll make yourself sick.”

“I wasn’t ready to put her down.” I move to the changing table and poke at the foil covering my still-hot meal. “We tried so hard for her, Jess. We put everything we had into this pregnancy. And now it’s all just…” I shake my head and peel the foil open to reveal a chicken leg and more potatoes than any man should eat. But it’s what Jess does. She feeds me. She takes care of me. “It all fell apart in a way I never could have predicted.”

“Because you couldn’t have.” She settles into the chair and crosses her legs, drawing Billy up to sniff that sweet, new baby smell. “You can’t predict an accident, Luc. And you sure as hell can’t predict someone else’s behavior when they’re not following the law or doing the right thing.”

“I’ve been driving since I was a teen.” I snag a smashed potato between my fingers and bring it up to my lips. “I’ve slammed through that set of traffic lights a million times in the ambulance. Red lights and all. And I’ve never been hit. ”

“It was horrible luck,” she whispers, sniffling as she strokes Billy’s chubby cheek. “We can’t explain it. We can’t understand it. It’s…” She sighs. “Sometimes, the world likes to hurt us for no reason at all.”

“I can’t accept that.” Rage burns in my veins, turning my aching stomach to something much darker. Meaner. “I can’t accept that there’s no reason for this kind of bullshit. There has to be a lesson, right? Or a higher purpose. There has to be something better than ‘ just because ’.”

“Maybe it was a lesson for the rest of us,” she tearfully whispers. “A reminder to love our families. To appreciate what we have because a happily ever after isn’t always guaranteed.”

“I don’t want to be the fucking guinea pig in everyone else’s lesson!” I drag my hand up and clutch at my hair. Still a little too shaggy for a grown man. A little long, considering I grew up from that stupid Luc’s Classic bullshit into the man I am today. I’m a professional, educated, responsible adult now. But I’m not so evolved that the universe didn’t pick me and my family up and toss us into a blender for the fun of it. “I don’t want my daughter to be everyone else’s reason to appreciate what they’ve got,” I groan. “That’s not fair.”

“I know.” Jess swallows, an audible, visible movement. “Life is rarely fair. And the universe hardly ever punishes those who truly deserve it.”

The universe is a faulty, broken-down machine everyone else considers their fucking be-all and end-all goddess. Ironic, considering nine times out of ten justice comes when a man takes things into his own hands.

“Did I ever tell you what happened to that Maybel chick from school?”

“Maybel?” Confused, curious, Jess’s mind spins and swirls back two decades in search of context. A clue. “From school?”

“Yeah. The one Sassy St James was picking on.”

“No, she…” She shakes her head. “Jesus. I don’t think I’ve had even a single thought about her since middle school. She got really dark there for a while, right? Sassy was being a bitch, and Kari was sticking up for her for a while.” She stops and draws a heaped breath when dots connect in her mind. “Oh geez. She got really dark way back around… like, seventh grade, right?”

“Yeah. Kari was always defending her. Practically throwing hands in the school halls when Marc wasn’t watching.”

Jess scoffs, soft and tear filled. “She’s always had way more spine than he ever gave her credit for. But only when it came to standing up for someone else. Kari would take shit all day long and bottle it up to keep her company. She never said a damn thing in school to assert herself when people were picking on her. But the second anyone was throwing shade on someone else, she had her gloves on.”

“ G et out of my way, you ugly bitch.”

I hear her first. Maybel Thompson’s nasally, nasty, mean girl voice. But then the echo of the school lockers as a body slams against them comes right after. Setting my temper alight and my pulse scrambling in my throat.

I stop at the corner of the hall, just fifteen feet from the locker I know will now bear a dent the size and shape of Kari Macchio. But I stick to the shadows, narrowing my eyes when I catch sight of Maybel’s fist slamming against the steel beside Kari’s face.

My temper burns hot, sizzling in my veins and forcing my fists to close in preparation. But Maybel is a girl, and I can’t very well go around the school hitting chicks. Not even to defend my best friend’s baby sister.

“Why don’t you just stay out of my fucking way?” she snarls. “Stay out of my halls.”

“I was just putting my books away.” Kari’s voice shakes. Her breath falters. I know the sound of every inhalation she makes, because I’ve grown accustomed to listening every time she and Marcus are near.

Which, lucky for me, has been every damn day since I was twelve years old.

“You and I don’t need to cross paths,” Kari continues. “I never get in your way on purpose.”

“Your existence is in my fucking way!” She grabs a handful of Kari’s curly brown locks and holds on just tight enough to tilt her head to the side. “The fact you came to this school is in my way .”

“Let me go.” Kari reaches up to grab the girl’s wrist. “Mayb?—”

“You know what could make all this better?” The bitch leans closer, her braced teeth glittering under shitty fluorescent lights and her straw-like hair, lightened because of the glare off the lockers. “Ya know how my school life could improve, since everyone around here thinks they get to comment about me ever since you inserted yourself in my business?” She yanks Kari forward, then slams her back again until the back of her skull raps against the locker. “Is if you killed yourself.” She leans closer. Intimate. “Go back in time, stand in front of the gun that killed your mother, and do everyone a favor.”

I shove away from the wall and slap my feet against the ground to make it sound like I’m running. Distracted. Not paying complete fucking attention to the bitch whose hand whips away from Kari’s hair like she’s suddenly grabbed an electrical current. I lope around the corner with a wide smile plastered across my face, almost maniacal considering the rage burning in my blood.

Instantly, Maybel scoots away and loops her hands behind her back, all innocent and sweet like she wasn’t just threatening a girl who has never, in her whole life, hurt anyone else.

Marc’s at work today, saving cash for his doomsday stash just in case . And Ang is putting in a little time at the garage, working with his hands and avoiding home as much as humanly possible. Sam is hanging with his girlfriend, now that he found the love of his life—this month’s, anyway—which means Kari-duty is all mine.

And I’m not allowed to hit girls.

So…

“Hey, Care Bear.” I stride into their space and bend to snag her discarded backpack from the floor. I swing it onto my arm and ignore the tears welling in her eyes. The pulse I see pounding in her throat. I don’t even smack Maybel upside her ugly fucking face, though it would feel good to get it out of my system.

Instead, I give her my back and remind her how utterly unimportant she is, then I drop my free arm over Kari’s shoulder—an action Marcus would skin me for—and provide the girl a little of the school cred she so desperately requires.

It’s obvious she won’t say shit to save her life when the bitches come knocking.

“Marc caught a shift at the club,” I murmur by her ear. Her long, mousy brown hair puffs in the humidity drenching the air, tickling my arm and itching my nose when I lean too close.

But I don’t sniff.

Sniffing is for the girls I want to bang. Sniffing is most definitely not for my best friend’s little sister.

“He asked me to walk you home.”

“O-okay.” She stumbles on her feet as I bring us around the corner and back into the hall I’ve already walked. She doesn’t toss my arm away. Doesn’t wrinkle her nose because it’s hot and I’m sweaty after PE. She doesn’t push me off or show her discomfort even as other kids stop in their tracks to watch us.

But she doesn’t hook her arm across my back the way Sassy St James does, either, nor thread her thumb in the loop of my jeans.

She’s passive.

And Marc is bound to have something to say about my little show when he hears about it tomorrow.

“Why do you let her push you around, Care Bear?” I loosen my grip on her shoulder as we emerge at the school’s front doors and look out at the parking lot buzzing with movement and parents picking their kids up. “You could beat her ass if you wanted to.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She steps out from beneath my arm and starts down the school’s front stairs. Then she turns and reaches out to take her bag when I’m close enough. “I can carry?—”

“I’ve got it.” I hold the pink and purple backpack like I’m not embarrassed to own it. Then I nudge us both to the right, away from the free-flowing traffic of cars, bikes, and little kids spilling out to find their mommies. “Let’s walk this way,” I mutter, keeping her in my vision and leading us away from the blacktop and into the trees surrounding our school. This town is essentially sitting in a valley, surrounded by trees and mountains. The best part about that means if you walk in any direction for just a few minutes, you end up in the forest. Where the temperature drops instantly and exponentially, and the noise of town recedes as though we’ve stepped through a door and closed it at our backs.

“I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on between you and Mad Rat.”

“Maybel.” She brings a hand up and absentmindedly rubs her scalp where the bitch tugged. “Her name is Maybel.”

“Yeah, but she’s a nasty bitch bully, and those types don’t get the privilege of a respectable name.” I fall into step beside Kari, looking down at her too-short four-and-something feet frame, and shake my head. “I heard what she said, Bear. So whether you admit it to me or not, I already know.”

“It’s not?—”

“I’m not Marc.” I adjust our direction, knowing this forest like I know the skate park and aim us toward an old, dilapidated house my friends and I know as ‘Popcorn Palace’. Because it’s shitty and derelict, and the ceilings are made of that ugly popcorn look. “You don’t tell him the things that bother you because you never want him to worry. Just like he never tells you the things that bother him because he wants you to be happy and unaffected your whole damn life.” I glance down and raise a single, challenging brow when she braves a look my way. “I get what you do for each other, and even if I think it’s dumb, I understand it.”

“It’s not dumb.” Cross, she scowls until a deep line forms between her brows. “It’s called protecting your family.”

“It’s called non-communication and a trauma response.” I skip to the left, because Kari Macchio has fire and a temper. She proves it when she swings out and attempts to smack me in the ribs.

Too damn bad she doesn’t use that same fist to rearrange Mustard’s stupid face.

“Someday, Bear, you and Marc will end up at a crossroads, where you’re living separate lives. Both protecting each other. Both shielding the other from anything horrible. Until eventually, you realize you know nothing about each other.”

“Agree to disagree.” She lifts her chin and reaches up to swipe the moisture sitting beneath her eye. “Maybel’s behavior is your fault, by the way.”

“My fault?” Kill yourself. Step in front of a gun . “What the fuck do you mean it’s my fault!?” I grab her shirt and pull her to a stop beneath a massive fir tree that blocks us from the sun. “How the hell is Moshpit’s bullying my fault?”

“Because your bitchy girlfriend bullies Maybel, and now Maybel bullies me. Misery loves company and all that stuff, and you and Sassy are too popular to screw with. So she takes her temper out on me.”

“First up.” I narrow my eyes and point my finger. Why? She’s a fucking kid. I don’t have to defend myself to her. “Sassy isn’t my girlfriend.”

Defiant, Kari firms her lips and pops her hip. All attitude.

“She’s a girl. And I sometimes hang out with her. But we’re not, like, a couple or anything.”

“So you’re a player,” she counters. “Dating a different girl every week, but returning to Sassy because she’s easy and good for your ego?”

What the fuck? “No! What do you even know about egos and easy? You’re a child.”

“You’re a child too, dummy.” Exasperated, she steps around me and continues. She knows the way we’re going. “The point is, Sassy is a bitch. You’re a player. Maybel is someone else’s victim, but instead of dealing with it the proper way, or,” she looks over at me, “ya know, internalizing it like the rest of us, she figures she can pound on me when the other girls aren’t around.”

“It’s because you’re a grade up from Jess, Laine, and Britt? ”

“Makes me an easy target.” Then she grins, though I’m not sure it’s a friendly expression. “Kinda like Sassy.”

“You’re getting kinda mouthy, huh?” I fix her bag on my back and brush a hand over my shoulder. “Jesus, Bear. You’re a fuckin’ mouse in front of literally everyone on the planet. Cowering in fear and terrified to make a sound, lest someone looks at you sideways. But then you come at me with an Acme rocket and act like your shots aren’t pointed and mean.”

“I’m not acting like anything. School is for learning. It’s for going to class, getting an education, then leaving again, and doing it all with as little stress for Marcus as possible.” She shakes her head. “I don’t care about your stress levels, though.”

“Great.” I look up and study the canopied ceiling just minutes into the forest. “So you let Madge beat on you and you do nothing about it?”

“I don’t let her do anything. She’s bigger than me.”

“You throw hands at me, Bear! You’re not afraid. You let that bitch say nasty things about killing yourself. Things about your parents. And you just…” I don’t understand her logic. I don’t get it, and I can’t even try to search for the bridge that’ll help. “You say nothing. So, what? You don’t end up in a fight at school, called into Principal Reeves’ office, and Marc doesn’t give you the ‘ I’m disappointed ’ eyes?”

“Marc already has so much to worry about.” Her eyes remain swollen. Red and hot enough to force her expression into a scowl. “I can handle Maybel on my own.”

“Handle her how? By being her punching bag?”

“Handle her maturely. Not something you’re capable of.”

I laugh, shaking my head and side-step another of her jabs. “If only Marc could see the shit you say and do when he’s not around, Bear. He’d be scandalized.”

“I suppose it’s a good thing you don’t tell him, then.” She folds her arms and hunches in on herself as the chill of the forest beats out even the filthy summer heat outside these trees. “You don’t want him to worry, either.” She looks ahead and glares. “Why are we going this way?”

“Because we have nowhere else to be. Marc’s working. Ang is working. Sam is macking on Sammy like he’s about to be sent off to war. You’re crying. And it’s too fuckin’ hot to skate.”

Of every word I speak, she growls and zeroes in on one single point. “I’m not crying.”

“You’re misty eyed. Got a case of the vapors. ”

“You’re stupid. And I have homework to do. I’m not interested in hanging out with you unless you brought food and music.”

“How about…” I snag her bag from my back and tear it open to reveal one of the sack lunches Mrs. Turner packs for her kids each day, regardless of if they intend to eat in the cafeteria. I saw Kari eating meatball subs earlier today with the twins, which means a cheese sandwich, apple, and juice box remain in her bag. “We have the food.”

“Give me my bag!” She slaps my arm and tries to pry the purple backpack from my grasp. “Luca!”

“You have the homework.” I tug out the pages her teacher assigned her today. “And I have the music.” I look down at the girl with kind, green eyes that hide a world of attitude and spine, then I flash a grin that sets her temper alight. “I wanna write a song for the guys anyway. It’s my turn to come up with something, especially now that Sam’s always writing about Sammy all the damn time.”

“It’s kinda funny they both have the same name though, right?” Finally, she releases her bag and allows me to stuff the papers and things back inside. “Sam and Sammy. It’s a bit silly.”

“Sam Turner and Samantha Ricardo.” I roll my eyes and slide the zip closed. “Dude swears he’s gonna marry her.”

“Are you ever getting married, Luc?” Kari glances across and studies the side of my face until her stare feels warm on my skin. She appears angelic for a moment. Sweet. But then she sneers. “You’re not gonna marry Sassy St Slut, are you?”

“Slut?” I slap a hand over her mouth and shoot a look in every direction of the forest, like I’m worried a parent—or worse, Marc—will jump out to punish her. “Who taught you that word?! That’s a bad word, Kari!”

“We know that word,” she giggles. Wrestling my hand away, she slides out of my grip and twirls in the filtered sunlight.

Finally, for the first time today, I see her smile.

“You should hear the stuff Jess and Laine say when you’re not around.”

“Jess and Laine are pains in my ass.” I hitch her bag up and shake my head. “They’re gonna give me infinite headaches in the next few years.”

“Nah.” She swings her hair and speeds her steps. “They’re sneaky enough, you won’t even notice they’ve been arrested and posted bail.”

“Jesus fucking christ.” I mash the heel of my palm into my eye and groan. “You’ll tell me, right? If the girls are setting shit on fire, you’ll stop them long enough to let me know? ”

“Maybe…” She glances across, sly and cunning. “What will you do for me?”

“I’ll tell you before Marc is heading your way, so he won’t catch you doing shit you really shouldn’t be doing. And,” I declare, making up my mind and setting my temper to the side for later use. “I’m gonna take care of Mod Podge for you. That way, your problem is solved, Marc never has to worry, and Mucus will stay away from you.”

Her smile flatlines and her eyes narrow. “What are you gonna do?”

I flash a grin and replace hers with my own. “I’m gonna deal with it. Now let’s get to Popcorn Palace. I’m hungry, and your cheese sandwich is looking kinda tasty right now.”

“That’s my sandwich! Luc!” she smacks me again. “I was saving that.”

J ess rocks in the nursery chair, her eyes wide like saucers as she gently pats Billy’s backside. “What did you do?”

“I ate half the sandwich, we shared the juice, Kari did her homework, and I wrote a song.”

Frustrated, she snags a burp cloth from the arm of the chair and lobs it my way, though it falls to the floor listlessly long before it comes close to me. “I meant what did you do to Maybel? I didn’t even realize until right now that she kinda just… disappeared.” Her eyes grow impossibly wider. “Should I turn you in to the chief, Luc?”

I snort. Finally, a soft, almost real laugh rolls through my chest after the world’s second longest day that ever occurred in history.

The first, of course, was the day Billy was born.

“I kept watch for another week or so.” I reach back and take another potato from the plate Jess prepared for me. If I don’t eat, I’ll feel even shittier tomorrow than I do today. And the bar is already pretty fucking low. “I caught her messing with Kari twice more. I wanted to give Bear a chance to stand up for herself. Ya know, like teaching someone to fish, instead of giving them a fish.”

“She never did?” Jess sighs. “She never stepped up?”

“No. She was more worried about protecting Marc’s mental health than she was her own, so she took that bitch’s shit twice more. The first was another ‘ kill yourself ’ bullshit. The second, Mucus Plug popped her in the belly.”

“Maybel punched her?” Jess gasps. “With her fists? Kari never told us that!”

“Of course she didn’t. She’s the martyr, remember? Malarkey got one hit in. One time. She thought she was brave, cornering Bear when no one else was around and slamming her into the lockers when the teachers were looking the other way. But I’d been watching closely.”

“Because you were head over heels in love with her already and too scared to admit it?”

I chuckle, shaking my head side to side and chewing my dinner. “Not yet. Not at that point. She was way too young for me back then. And I was way too interested in every other female who walked the planet. I was acting in a big brother capacity only.”

“Mmhm.” She relaxes back into her chair and presses gentle lips to Billy’s head. “I think our hearts know, even before our brains admit it. Back then, it wasn’t allowed, so you didn’t outwardly have those feelings for our sweet Kari. But in the very depths of your soul, I think you knew what was coming. You knew she would eventually hold your heart in her hands. So your instincts were to keep her safe and wait until it was okay.”

“Yeah, well…” I shrug and twist to select a green bean. “Maybe. I dunno. I just know, back then, I wasn’t looking at her like that. She was my best friend’s much younger, and hella protected, little sister. We weren’t flirting or anything. Not till way later.”

“So what happened to Maybel?” She nuzzles Billy’s peach fuzz hair and inhales. “Because now you’re telling me you ‘ took care of her ’, and I’m remembering I never saw her again. Kinda sounds homicide-y to me.”

I roll my eyes. “You spend way too much time with Kane Bishop and his crew of murderous thugs.”

“Yes, well, considering he’s my husband, I suppose it means I enjoy spending time with him. Did you whack Maybel?”

“No.”

“Punch her in her stupid face?”

“No.”

“Run her down with your car?”

I drop my head and grin. “I actually grabbed Laine that day. Brought her with me.”

“Laine?” Jess’ eyes pop wide. “You took Laine and not me? What the hell?”

“Pretty sure you were in detention because you rode your blades through the school halls earlier that day. Which,” I glance up and meet her eyes, “you knew you weren’t allowed to do, considering the detention you sat for the same crime the week before. Laine typically learns from her mistakes the first time, so she was free and clear that day. I pulled her along with me, we stopped in the same hall, on the same corner, at the same time of the afternoon as every other time Malaprop cornered her, and we found her holding Kari by the throat.”

Jess growls, dangerous and promising.

“She hit Kari just once, and by that point, I didn’t really have to do shit. Laine tore that bitch’s shitty hair out, blackened her eye, and punched her in the tit, all before Kari had a chance to realize what the fuck was going on.”

“Good.” She sneers, and yet, gently pats Billy’s rump. “She deserved worse.”

“I pulled Laine off and separated the three girls before I became the idiot at the bottom of a pile on. Then I let Maleficence know I would end her fucking life if she came near Kari again.” I take a bite of my bean, the crunch audible across the expanse of Billy’s bedroom. “Not my proudest moment, considering I’m the nice guy who wanted all the girls to like him.”

“Plus,” Jess snickers, “you grew up to make a vow to help people, not harm them.”

“I didn’t harm her,” I shrug. “Not technically. I wasn’t gonna go down as the guy who beat on girls. But Laine made her point?—”

“And never uttered a single word of it to me.”

“I told the bitch if she came near Kari again, I’d ram my fist so far down her throat she’d choke on her own lips and shit herself in front of the whole school. Then I suggested she beg her parents for a transfer to the school across town. Probably even change her name. And if she ever saw Kari again, if she so much as spied her from a mile away and they were walking on the same side of the street, then Muu Muu was to switch sides and stay the fuck away.”

“You intimidated a little girl.” Jess firms her lips. Though I don’t miss the sly grin she works to hide. “Big, bad, flirty boy Luca Lenaghan bullied a child.”

“I wasn’t a bully.” I push away from the changing table and turn to grab my chicken. Since Jess went to all the trouble to cook it, I suppose. “Sassy was a bully to Mole Rat. And Megalomania was a bully to Kari. I was merely… ”

“The messenger,” she finishes. “And Laine was the weapon.” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe she never told me.”

“Kari wanted privacy. And we were sworn to secrecy so Marc would never know. Laine had some pent-up aggression she needed to work through, Kari needed a champion, and Miscreant needed to be put in her place.” I take a bite of my chicken leg and groan when the juicy flavors burst on my tongue. “Jesus. This tastes good.”

“You’re starving. You should have eaten hours ago.”

“I’m eating now.” I nod toward Billy. “Can I have my baby back yet?”

“Not yet.” She shrinks back into her chair and crushes my daughter close. “My girls aren’t tiny babies anymore. I miss this.”

“You gonna have more?”

“God no.” She chokes out a fortifying laugh that brings my lips up. “Having a baby is hard. Having two at the same time, worse. Having Kane Bishop’s twins?” She exhales, shaking her head. “I love that man, Luc. I swear I do. And I love my daughters. But hell if I’m getting back on that roller coaster a second time. Especially considering my likelihood of getting another twofer.”

“Yeah, well…” My appetite dissolves, like fog on a warming morning. “They say, as a male, I’m no more likely to make twins than anyone else, even though my sisters are twins, and one of them had twins, too.”

Jess’ cheeks pale. Her throat bobs as she swallows.

“Sometimes these things just happen, huh?”

“Luc…”

“We didn’t get identical, though. The universe thought it would be cute to give me a daughter to care for, and a son for Kari to watch over. Was that supposed to be poetic, or…?”