26. Luc
26
LUC
ANYONE UP FOR A RIDE… ON A CARGO SHIP HEADED FOR GREECE?
T he best part of living and working in a small town is that our first responders don’t typically work the same as big city first responders.
Elsewhere, cops and paramedics and nurses are on wildly different shifts. They’re not connected, and they’re not reliant on one another. But here, most of our team comes in at the same time, and like clockwork, we tend to leave at the same time.
It’s nice, really, since that means I get to hang with the same crowd more often than not. Nicer yet, because as the end of my shift approaches and the town surrounding us slumbers, I wait out on the ambulance dock with a can of Pepsi and get a chance to finally breathe. Because with the loss of the sun, comes a little reprieve from the heat.
And with the end of my shift comes the end of hers .
I sit on a tiny, raised wall, only two feet high and two layers thick. I’m not even sure of its purpose, except, perhaps, to discourage cars from driving over here.
But it makes for a good seat, and it comes with the perfect view of the back of the ED, where the double doors swing wide and anyone coming off shift wanders out. Usually, I take my time. Head to the locker rooms, have a shower, and chill the fuck out before I go home. But tonight, I didn’t even change. I have someone’s femoral blood on my pants. And someone else’s tears on my shirt. But I also have a little girl inside that building, traumatized and broken, but she’s alive.
And better yet, for her, her mother is alive, too.
She’ll always carry trauma from today. But it won’t be quite as heavy as the burden Marcus carries with him. Or as hidden as the load Kari walks around with daily.
“Why are you staring at the doors?”
I startle and twist in my seat, grinning when I find Mitch in fresh jeans and a shirt that is surely lighter than the uniform I wear. He’s showered and his short hair has been combed clean; I guess I had time to change after all, though I didn’t want to risk it. Shaking my head as my thundering heart slows, I turn back to study the hospital and bring my soda up. “You scared me.”
“You’re skulking outside a safe place, hiding in the dark with your hand in your pants.”
I sip and snicker, flexing my hand as though to prove where it is. “Maybe I really like sick people.”
“Or maybe you’re on a fast track to being slapped with a protection order.” He comes around and sits on the wall, too. Dropping his duffel so it lands on the concrete with a thud, “What’s your plan if she doesn’t want you, Luc?”
Aching, I turn and study the side of his face.
“There has to be a plan that doesn’t involve prison and stalking, right?”
I roll the Pepsi between my palms and enjoy the cold metal on my skin. “You think I should move on?”
“I think you should consider the possibility.” He reaches up and swipes his hand through his hair. “It’s been six years, bro. People change. Wants change. The world changes. She’s been gone a long time, and you’re counting on the word of an eighteen-year-old to ride in and save the day.”
“I’m not counting on her word.” I glance back to the ED doors and drag my bottom lip between my teeth. “She didn’t promise me anything back then.”
“So what are you?—”
“I’m counting on her heart. Because it’s pure and perfect, even when wrapped in pigheadedness.”
“She’s dating someone else.”
“She’s friends with someone else.” I push to my feet when the doors swing open and three women step out. Two of them are old enough to be my mother. But the one in the middle… her eyes shoot across the wide dr iveway and stop on mine. “He’s actually pretty nice,” I finish. “She chose well.” I couldn’t peel my gaze away from Kari even if I wanted to. I can’t look away from the color in her cheeks or the flex of her jaw. But I stay put. I give her that hundred feet and allow her the chance to make a choice. She can turn and go with the older nurses. Or she can cross the concrete and be brave. “You should leave now, Mitch. I’m done talking.”
He scoffs. “First of all: that was rude. And second: it might be best I stay. When you end up in handcuffs, the cops are gonna want a witness statement. Considering you’ll scream that you’re innocent, my respected word will carry weight.”
“Respected? Your brother is a firefighter. He’s the chief’s enemy. What makes you think X wants anything to do with you?”
“You’re just being hurtful.” Mitch stands in my peripherals, ducking to grab his bag and straightening out on my left. Then he claps my shoulder. “Be safe. Do whatever it is you’re gonna do. But I’d really like for you not to get arrested. I’ve spent years training you to be a reasonably non-annoying partner on the job. If you make me start again with some other asshole, I’m gonna pay a prisoner to shank you in the showers.”
“You’ve put too much thought into this.” I hate that Kari only stares. That she freezes in place by the doors, clutching to a backpack and watching me warily.
Like I’m the enemy.
Like I’m dangerous.
“Good luck.” Mitch taps my shoulder one last time, then he continues forward, filling in the space that separates me and the pair of green eyes that stare. He approaches her, unafraid, smiling and throwing his bag over his shoulder. “Hey, Kar.” Friendly, he wraps her in a one-armed hug. “You rocked today. I saw you bossing Dr. Eastgate around.”
“Got a little ahead of myself,” she blushes. “But I didn’t get written up for it.”
“It was a damn good shift.” He steps back and follows her gaze when she looks across to me. Then he shakes his head, chuckling. “You’re as bad as each other. Take it easy on him, okay? Whatever choice you make about this, be gentle. His intentions were always to do the right thing by you.”
“Don’t be that guy.” She peels her eyes from mine and meets his stare. “Don’t become the messenger and make me hurt you.”
He lifts his hands in faux-surrender and backs away, amused. It’s easy for him, considering his whole world isn’t on fire. “I’ll catch you tomorrow for your second shift. Maybe I’ll see what kind of roadkill I can scrape off the pavement. Make you fix a raccoon or something.”
“Raccoons?” Sly, she looks him up and down. “Isn’t that your brother’s job?”
He snorts and turns on his heels. Lifting a single hand in the air to say goodbye, he wanders to the other nurses. The older ones. And hustles them away. Since I suppose they’ve taken it upon themselves to protect Kari from the big, bad jerk who breaks hearts.
Taking a fortifying breath, I set my Pepsi can on the small brick wall and turn back to meet Kari’s terrified eyes. It’s midnight. The cicadas scream, while the rest of town slumbers. We’re outside the emergency room of a hospital, but all is silent around us except for the sound of my heart thundering in my ears.
“You need to stop staring at me.” Kari swallows the nerves in her throat and plays with her fingers. Fussing. Nervous. But she doesn’t run away. So I take that as a decent sign, at least. Promising.
I start forward, empty-handed, since my bag and clothes are still inside the hospital, still in my locker. “You’re asking me to do the impossible.”
“You need to move on,” she rasps. “Find someone else to harass.”
I cross the distance that separates us. My boots gliding on smooth concrete, and my pulse sprinting in my throat. Who needs Mitch to act as witness to my stalking when we have the hospital’s entire security system zooming in on the side of my face?
“Luc,” she tries again, dropping her hands and lifting her gaze. “You need to find?—”
“There is no one else.” I stop just a single foot from where she stands, her perfume slamming into the base of my lungs and her long, brown curls whipping forward to tickle my arm when the breeze kicks up. “There is no one, Bear. There’s just you and me. And there’s nothing else I want outside of us.”
“Luc, I don’t?—”
“Marcus asked me to drive you home.” I lean closer and inhale her exhaled breath. Because I want it. And I knew she’d release it when I told her I’m her ride for the night. “I know he said he’d pick you up. But I was here anyway, and he has to work in the morning. So I told him I’d get you home.”
She brings her thumbnail up and nervously nibbles as she looks around. “Marcus isn’t coming to get me?”
“No. Because I’m here.” I take that last step forward and stop only when the toes of my boots touch hers. Fuck knows what stains my shoes, and a little girl’s blood marks my pants. It’s why we wear dark clothes on the job. “He trusts me to get you home, Bear.” I duck my head just a little lower. “He’s trusting me to get you there safely.”
“In his truck?” Her eyes wheel around, searching for it. Desperation radiating from her pores. “Did you bring the tr?—”
I tug a set of keys from my pocket and let them dangle from my finger. And when her eyes swing back and her brain registers her new reality, her cheeks pale while my lips come up.
“No.”
“We’re going on the bike, Bear. Which, I recall, was something you always wanted to do.”
“When I was eighteen years old! I’ve grown up since then, Luc. I’ve matured.”
“Cute.” I grab her hand and turn before she can run. “I haven’t.”
“Luc!” Her sneakers slide against the concrete. Her nails, digging into my wrist as she works to peel my fingers away. “Luc! You can’t just force me onto a machine without my permission! I could fall off. Maybe I’ll let go, just to teach you a lesson.”
“Great lesson.” I spy my battered bike, parked between a couple of cars, and steer us that way. “You’re the one who’ll have road rash on your ass. If you get hurt, I’m a paramedic, though. Can’t say I won’t jump straight to CPR.”
“You’re a child!” She fights my hand and, if the cops just so happened to drive by right now, her flailing would be hella incriminating. “Stop!”
“Stop making a scene.” I lower my voice, but my lips split wide into a grin. Taunting her is way more fun than watching her cry. “You’re gonna get me arrested if you don’t stop screeching like that.”
“I want you to get arrested!” She balls her fist and slams it against my shoulder, her backpack sliding along her arm because of the momentum of her swing. “Go to prison, Luc! Maybe then I’ll get through a single friggin’ day without seeing you.”
“I’d miss you, though.” I stop by my bike and release her hand. An action, I’m sure, she didn’t expect. Because she stumbles back, almost dropping to her ass if not for the car to her left. “Get on the bike, Bear. Your world won’t end if you give me this.”
“But I think it might,” she whimpers, heaving for breath and searching for someone to save her. Her cheeks are too pale. Her eyes, terrified. “Luc, if I get on that bike with you?—”
“You’re at risk of admitting you still love me?” I grab the helmet I made damn sure to bring today and turn to face her. “God forbid you give in to what your heart wants.”
“My heart is wrong! And why the hell do you have a helmet? You never wear a helmet.”
“Because you need a helmet.” I snatch her bag and set it on the bike, then I bring the helmet up and smile when her eyes desperately swing to mine. “It’s the middle of the night, Bear.” I set my finger beneath her chin and tilt her head back until her gaze moves to the sky. “The stars are out.”
Her throat quivers. “Luc…”
“Anything that happens in the dark, stays in the dark. We’re in those magical hours before the rest of the world exists.” I release her chin, but I cup the helmet between my palms and bring it up until it hovers over her head. “Give us this night. Get on my bike and stop worrying about all the bad shit that could happen. Think, instead, about all the good that could come of this.”
“What good?” she trembles. “What good could possibly happen? I fall in love with you… again ? I forgive you? I become hopelessly dependent on you, just like I used to be? What, Luc?” Her eyes dance with unshed tears. “I have nothing left to give you.”
“Give me this.” I lick my dry lips and swallow when her gaze drops to the movement. “Give me this ride, and I promise to make sure you get home none the worse for wear.”
“Physically,” she groans. “I’ll be safe, physically. But what about my heart?”
“I want to heal that, too. I want to make everything better, Bear. Not worse.” I examine her beautiful eyes and prepare to get on my fucking knees and beg if that’s what it takes. “I’m not here to hurt you any more. I want to fix what I broke. Let me put your helmet on and take you for a ride.”
She’s petrified. Shaking. Her mind sprints a million miles a second, so plainly obvious in the way her eyes flicker. Her lips tremor, and her hands fuss.
But she draws a deep, shuddering breath, and nods. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Fine.” She brings her hands up and claps them over mine, yanking the helmet down and taking back her control. Her hair sits in her eyes, long brown locks puffing in every direction and annoying her as she huffs and digs her fingers into the helmet to fix the mess. But she makes quick work of it, fastening the strap beneath her chin and flipping the visor upward to meet my eyes. “If we crash, you’ll probably die, you know that, right? Helmets are important when riding a bike.”
“Careful, Bear.” I turn to the bike and grab her bag, then handing it back, I slip my leg over the seat and wait for her to get herself organized. “If you keep that up, you might be accused of giving a shit about me.”
“I’m more concerned with the walk home if we crash and you perish.” She sneers, visible even with the helmet between us, then she steps back and examines what comes next.
Wrapping her legs around my bike and snuggling in tight is next. Sucker.
“If we crash and your brain is smeared on the road, don’t expect me to find a bucket so you’re buried with all your parts.”
“Your concern is endearing.” I twist and pat the seat. “Now get the fuck on my bike. You’re wasting time.”
“And you’re an asshole,” she growls. “Still. Perhaps, unbelievably, worse. Which is quite the accomplishment, really.”
“Uh huh.” I grab her hand and yank her in, feeling only mildly guilty when her chest clashes with my shoulder and her breath races out to bathe my chin. “This is the longest non-conversation I’ve ever had in my life. I’d like to get away from work before my next shift starts, if that’s cool with you.”
Snarling, she jerks her hand from mine and tightens the straps on her bag as though terrified it’ll fly off during our trip. Then she approaches her section of the bike, unsure where the hell she should put her hands and still maintain her air of rage.
“On my shoulders, beautiful.” I tap my shoulder and glance back to meet her fiery eyes. “You gotta touch me to make this work.”
“I could touch a shovel and dig your grave. That sounds more fun.”
“Your threats are oddly specific and slightly awkward.” I practically fucking tremble when she throws her leg over the bike and settles in behind me. Though I’ll be dead and buried before I show it.
Just as dead as I’d obviously be if I ever accepted the six inches she places between us.
She thinks she’s so fucking clever, sitting so far back and holding me with the tips of her fingers. But I hook my arm around instead, cupping the small of her back before she can stop me. Then I yank her closer, swallowing down my groan when her chest crashes against my back and her legs hug my thighs. Her core is like lava and her breath is sweet on the back of my neck. “That’s better.” I look over my shoulder and smirk. “Now wrap your arms around my body. Kinda how you would if we were fucking.”
“ I think this might be my stop.” Jess pushes off Kane’s lap and shakes her head, circling away from the table and snickering. “You’re about to tell those stories. And I’m not sure I need to hear them.”
“I wanna hear them.” Kane lounges back, opening his legs wide and grinning. “I know there are years of built-up frustration here, Lenaghan. And it’s all about to blow. Bet you a million dollars shit gets violent fast.”
Jess mock gags, heading toward the living room to where the twins play and giggle. “La-la-la-la-la-la-la.” She plugs her ears. “I don’t need to hear this stuff.”
I meet Kane’s eyes and chuckle. “Kari and I didn’t hook up that night.”
His lips flatten, disappointment like sparks in a bonfire. “Lame.”
“But I got her on my bike. And I sure as shit didn’t take her straight home.”
At that, his eyes lighten and his lips curl once more. “Attaboy. Kidnapping them is my favorite thing to do. That line between consent and non-consent…”
“Kane!” Jess barrels back into the kitchen. “He is my brother! Can you not?”
Kane only snickers, his chest and shoulders bouncing. “I love that gray area between yes and no. It’s a fucking thrill.”
My stomach jumps with disgust. My nose, wrinkling with horror. “I don’t need to know that.” Then I look at Jess and point. “You’re lucky you’re already married and mostly happy. Because if I knew this shit years ago, I’d have put you on a cargo ship headed for Greece.”
“Yeah,” she rolls her eyes. “Lucky me.”