38. Luc
38
LUC
NOT SNEAKING AROUND
A t some point over the last couple of years, after Jess moved out to live with Kane, Laine moved out to live with Ang, and when Britt shacked up across town with the world champ, Kari’s apartment was essentially left mostly empty.
The rent was still paid, and the sparse furniture remained behind.
The place was, technically, somewhere any of the girls could go to get a little alone time when they needed it, but as the years passed on and memories fill the rooms they left behind, everyone just… stopped going there.
It simply stopped being somewhere anyone went to find comfort.
Now Kari’s things are in my apartment. Her clothes are in my closet. Her shoes, littering my floor. Her dream catcher, the one she hangs above her bed, now hangs above our bed. And if I’m being completely and totally honest, I’m not sure I could even pinpoint when exactly we started living together.
It was never a discussion we had. We never sat down and decided where we would live or who would pay which bill. No one wrote out a chore chart, assigning dishes to one person and the laundry to the other.
We just stopped sleeping apart. And now here we are, her tampons are under the sink, and her hair litters the shower floor.
And there’s not a single fucking thing I would do to change it.
“Let’s go, Bear!” I button my shirt and stare into the mirror, a grin on my face and trembling giddiness bubbling in the depths of my stomach. “Swear to Christ, if you make us late again, I’m gonna be pissed.”
“I’m doing my best.” She slides along the hall and collides with the clothes rack at the end, sending hangers flying, and grunting as the metal pokes her arm. This apartment is tiny. Smaller, even, than the one she left. Which means our closet just isn’t big enough for us both. “Ouch.” Hissing, she rubs her arm and scowls under the mess that is her wild, brown curls. “Have I told you lately how much I hate that thing being there?”
I shrug and watch her in the reflection of the mirror. “There’s not enough room to put it elsewhere. Let’s go. We have reservations for seven. And it’s currently…” I glance across at the clock on the over-filled bedside table. We’re not messy, dirty people. We’re just two busy human beings, cramming two lives inside an apartment the size of a shoe box. “Six fifty-nine. Dammit, Bear!”
“Don’t come at me.” She tears a dress off the rack, pinging yet another hanger to the floor. Then, stepping into the fabric, she yanks it up and tucks herself away from my hungry eyes. “You didn’t get out of the shower until five minutes ago. The fact that I can shower after that and still be mostly dressed by now is a miracle. You don’t get that kind of hustle with Jess and Laine.”
“Yes, but I’m not in a relationship with Jess and Laine.” I turn from the mirror and walk the five steps from one side of the room to the other. Then I spin her around and grin when her hands come up automatically to push her hair out of the way. I grab the zipper of her dress and gently bring it up. “I’m in a relationship with you. And you, my beautiful little pain in my ass, are gonna be the reason we’re fuckin’ late. Again.”
“Oh please.” She peeks over her shoulder, eyes narrowed in dangerous slits. “You make it sound like I’m one of those girls who can’t get their shit together. I’ve been late once in my life, and you think you get to make it my whole personality.”
“Says the chick whose alarm clock now reads seven.” I release her zipper and slap her ass, forcing her forward with a squeak and a growl. “Shoes on. If we’re not sitting at our table by seven fifteen, we lose it. Then we’ll have to get burgers and eat in the car.”
“Which is a perfectly valid date, just so you know.” She wanders all three feet to the bed and sits down with a grunt. Then opening her legs, she drags the blankets up and searches for her shoes beneath the bed frame.
We’re classy like that.
“Heels?” she ponders. “Flats? ”
“You can go barefoot for all I care.” I drop down on the bed beside her and snag my boots from beneath the bed. “But you have thirty seconds to get your ass out the door before I smack it.”
“If we didn’t have so much shit scattered across six hundred square feet, maybe I could find a hairbrush easier. Or shoes. Or a whole outfit. Or!” She decides on a pair of pumps and slips her feet inside. “If your shower was larger than a port-a-potty, maybe we could shower together. Save time and money.”
“You mention saving money, but you ask for a luxury bathroom big enough to fuck in.” I grab her face and smack a noisy kiss to her lips. “You’re high maintenance and needy.”
“And you’re an asshole.” She shoves me off and pushes up from the bed, then she snags her phone and a tiny purse from the top of our drawers. “You’re being a jerk. In fact, you’ve been a jerk for the last few weeks.” She stalks through the door and makes a beeline for the living room. “Stress is a cute excuse, Lenaghan, but we both work demanding jobs. You only get that pass for so long.”
I follow her out and head to the front door, holding it wide so she can move through. “Or maybe you’re being overly sensitive and critical?”
She swings around with no care for the fact that she could overbalance and topple down the stairs. No care because she intends to tear my heart out and stab it with the heel of her shoe. “Excuse me? Overly sensitive?”
“What?” I slide my arm around hers and lead her downstairs. A fight is a fight, and that’s all good and well, but we’ve got somewhere to be. So we’ll call this a drive-thru domestic . “We’ve been together a while now, Bear. So I know when you cycle.”
“Cycle?” Her eyes widen, feral and ready to rumble. “Did you slip in the shower and hit your head? What the hell, Luc?”
“What?” I move to the car—it’s safer than a bike, allegedly —and open the door. Then I practically toss her in and skip around to my side. “Women cycle, babe. It’s okay. It’s completely normal.”
“And sane, smart men know not to blame natural monthly cycles for how women express their feelings. I mentioned our small apartment, and now, according to you, I’m hormonal?”
“ You mentioned hormones, not me.” I fix my seatbelt and kiss the tips of my fingers. Before she has a chance to argue, I slap them to her lips and clamp down on my own when she growls. “Love you, Care Bear. All the way to the stars.”
“Let me out!” She makes a grab for her door, but I switch the car on and slam it into reverse before she gets the chance. Then speeding onto the street, I chuckle, almost completely silently, and reach across one-handed to snag her seatbelt and buckle it up.
“Luca!”
“You’re so pretty.”
“You’re a jackass! What the hell changed between, ‘ I’m going to have a shower: we have a date ,’ and this?”
“You changed.” I slow at the end of the block, glancing to my right so I catch her fiery eyes. But I only smile and continue around the corner. “You shouted from the shower because you hit your elbow.”
Scowling, she cups her elbow in her palm and rubs. “It hurt.”
“The shower has been the same size since its date inside a manufacturing warehouse. Nothing changed, Bear. Except you became less tolerant of the small space we have.”
“So instead of agreeing with me, you thought picking a fight and invalidating my feelings was the smarter choice?”
“I think being with you every single day is all I need to be happy.” I take her hand, prying her fingers apart and sliding mine between instead. “I don’t care that my back rests against the wall when we’re in bed. And I don’t care that my elbows hit the taps in the shower. I don’t care that your hair tangles in my toes because you don’t clean it out of the drain. And I sure as fuck don’t care that we keep clothes on a rack in the hallway.”
Her entire face wrinkles. Her chin, nose, lips, and brow. Like a little kid who was told ‘no’ to dessert, she scowls and says nothing.
“I care that I wake up beside you.” I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the top. “I care that I get to have you, openly and for the world to know. I care that that douchebag Roy at the hospital is afraid of me, so he doesn’t openly flirt with you anymore.”
She coughs out a small, almost silent giggle.
“I care that you want to be with me. And that, even though we live together and practically work together, you still say yes when I ask you out to dinner.”
She firms her lips and scowls deeper. “You’re being romantic and sweet when I thought we were having a fight.”
“Hormonal cycles. It happens.”
She swings her hand out of my grip and slaps my stomach until my lungs evacuate and the car swerves. “Bear!”
“Don’t mention hormonal cycles if you wish to live, jackass. I’m allowed to have feelings about things and them not be because of the time of the month.”
“Are you sure, though?” I snag her hand and force her to hold mine. “Because I’m noticing a certain pattern, that’s all.”
“Where are we going?” She squeezes my hand and growls when I turn another corner and snicker. “Pinocchio’s Restaurant is the other way, dummy. And we’re already hitting ten past seven. We don’t have time to?—”
Her words come to a sharp stop as I bring us over the train tracks and out to the edges of town. I turn into an overgrown driveway, amidst tall trees and a raggedy For Sale sign with a shiny new SOLD sticker slapped across the realtor’s face. Then she spins, her eyes alight and her cheeks bright red. “Luc!”
“What?” Parking the car and cutting the engine, I lean over and unsnap her seatbelt. “You were saying some shit about needing extra space?”
“Luc!” She pushes out of the car when I pull back and do the same, slamming the door and stepping back to study the sign out front. “Are you serious right now?”
“What?” I wander her way and take her hand in mine. Then I reach into my pocket with the other, drawing out an extra set of keys from the depths. “Why are you still shouting at me?”
“Did you buy a house?” Her voice breaks. It literally crackles and squeaks as we meander across gravel and an overgrown front yard. This place has been deserted for too many years. Renters lived here before, and the landlords lived here before that. This place belonged to a couple who are damn near a hundred at this point.
Now… it belongs to us.
“You can’t buy a whole house without talking to me about it!”
“Can’t I?” I draw her up the stairs and stop by the rickety wooden door. The sun is still out despite the hour, summer holding on once more, but inside the house, darkness prevails. I’d know—I’ve been here each night for a fucking week, sneaking around, preparing, and probably, now that I think about it, planting the seeds of the fight Kari thought we were gonna have tonight. “Do you tell me when I can or can’t buy a burger for lunch?”
She growls again. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not controlling your money.”
“And you don’t tell me when I can buy shoes, or jeans, or hell, a new guitar.”
“Trick question. You never buy jeans or shoes. I buy them for you. And you have seven trillion guitars already, which is ironic considering you prefer the drums. ”
“Drums are for playing in the band. Guitars are for sitting on the couch and writing songs about you. Come on.” I slide the key into the door and turn the lock, then I push it open and reveal… well, not a lot of anything. Dirty floors. Dusty walls. A staircase straight out of a really rich motherfucker’s house. And massive picture windows that’ll someday, after a bunch of cleaning, become the focal point of our forever home. “Buying homes,” I finish with a grin, “is for proving to you that we’re forever.”
“You bought a whole friggin’ house!” With tears in her eyes, she charges ahead of me, stalking across hardwood floors so her heels clip-clip-clip and echo from wall to wall. “Luca! It’s a house. For us?”
“It’ll take a few months to fix,” I admit. “Bunches of hard work. The upstairs bedrooms have carpet we’ll have to pull out eventually. And there are a few walls with body-shaped holes in them.”
“Oh god.” Snickering, she turns and starts toward the kitchen. “I don’t even want to speculate about those holes.”
“The kitchen is original.” I follow her through the house and stop in the doorway to lean against the frame. “Like, Scottish Highlands original. So good luck with that when you’re relegated to housewife duties and I’m too busy to help.”
She snorts and runs her fingertips along the laminate countertop. “Jackass.”
“But Marc said he’ll help.”
Stunned, she yanks her hand away like she thinks the laminate will bite, then she looks at me with wide eyes. “Marcus?”
“Yeah. I mean…” I fold my arms and shrug. “He inspected the place with me a couple of times. We walked through and drew up some floor plans.”
“Marcus?” she breathes. “My brother?”
“He wants to be in charge of refinishing the stairs. In fact, his exact words were, ‘ if you touch these fucking stairs and ruin them for me, I’m gonna slit your intestines out and feed them to the cow .’ Which is such a random and inaccurate threat, considering cows are herbivores. But when I went ahead and pointed that out, he assured me he would buy pigs if he must.”
“You talked to Marcus about this place?” Her eyes dance with unshed tears. Just like I knew they would. “He knows?”
“He gave his blessing. He likes homes with good bones, and he thinks this one is gonna be good for another two hundred years. According to him, it’s safe enough and, once we patch those holes in the walls, classy enough, for his baby sister.”
“You asked my brother if you could buy a house with me? ”
I lift a single, nonchalant shoulder. “I’m buying it for you. Not with you.”
“But I?—”
“A symbol of my love for you.” I move away from the door frame and across the kitchen, taking her shaking hand and tugging her in till her body melts against mine. “I’m not here for a good time, Bear. I’m here for a lifetime.”
“Luc…”
“Come upstairs. I have some stuff I wanna show you.”
“Marc’s not here, like…” She gulps and looks around. “He’s not here right now, is he?”
I bark out a laugh and lead her back the way we came. “Fuck no. I love the dude, but I’m not in a relationship with him. He doesn’t need to be a part of everything we do.”
“And he just…” Her head swivels around as though on a stick. She notices the stair treads. The sconces on the walls. The light fixture. The yellowing wallpaper in some sections. “He knows buying a house with me, or for me, is officially, like… moving in with me?”
“We’ve been sharing a bed for years already.”
“Right. But that was an informal arrangement. No one discussed it, and no one labeled it. Buying a house… that’s…” she exhales a noisy breath. “That’s super official. And he was cool with it?”
“You are damn near thirty years old.” Chuckling, I crest the top step and hold her hand to bring her up beside me. Our future bedroom is to the left, and our child’s future nursery is to the right. It’s so easy to see. So easy to plan a lifetime ahead with the woman who simply makes life worth living.
“You realize he doesn’t get to boss you around anymore, right?” I tug her around and press a smiling kiss to her lips. “He’s married and a dad now. He’s busy with the farm and the cow and the life he’s living where he’s not controlling your every move.”
“You say that, and yet, you sought his opinion on the house.” She drags her bottom lip between her teeth and studies my eyes. “Admit it, Luc, his word still matters.”
“It matters to me because it matters to you.” I kiss her again and savor, tugging her bottom lip from her worrying teeth. “Anything important to you is important to me.”
“I can’t believe how utterly annoying you are. Picking fights and poking me into an argument just for fun. Then you bring me here and remind me exactly how romantic and sweet you are. ”
“What can I say?” I slide my hand up and stroke the long column of her neck. “I enjoy seeing you get angry. Turns me on.”
“And then you go ahead and ruin a moment by saying shit like that.” Laughing, she turns on her heels and starts toward the main bedroom door.
So I let her go. I allow her to explore.
Then I hold my breath and wait as she opens the door. Startling with a cry when she finds the ceiling aglow with fairy lights. A thousand tiny bulbs strung up to create the illusion of a night sky.
Tulips fill a hundred vases, creating a rainbow of colors and a smell almost as sweet as the woman who stumbles into the room with her hands over her mouth.
I follow her to the doorway, my eyes on her back while hers are everywhere, all at once. She spies the picture window, filled to the brim with out-of-season flowers that Mitch’s florist sister helped me procure. A massive, brand-new bed sits in the middle, overflowing with luxurious blankets and cloud-like pillows.
While the rest of the house is in complete disrepair, this room has been refinished already. New walls. Plaster. Paint. The carpet was pulled up in the moments I could steal away from Kari’s notice, and the brand-new bed was delivered just this morning.
Because fuck it, we deserve the best.
And we’ll hand wash our dishes for the next few years, since we can’t afford a dishwasher.
“Luc…” Her voice cracks, emotion clogging in her throat and drawing tears to her eyes. But she runs her fingertips along the sheets I’ve already made the bed with. The blanket rolled to the end of the mattress. The tulips laid on top, just two of them, waiting for her.
Then she glances at the bookshelf Marcus built for her by hand.
“Oh my gosh.” Her entire body trembles, her dress moving because of it. “Luc, I don’t…”
She turns my way, so I lower to one knee and dig a hand into my pocket for the ring I’ve held on to for… fuck. A long time.
“Oh my gosh!” she repeats, though this time, it comes on a cry of surprise. “Luc!”
“I’m only gonna say his name once, since this is our moment, and I don’t wanna think about him too much.”
Her eyes spill over as she moves closer.
“I asked Marcus for his blessing in this, too. So now that’s out of the way, I don’t want you to bring him back into this conversation. ”
She chokes out a teary laugh and nods. “Okay.”
“I’ve thought about everything we are, Bear.” I bring the ring up, pinching it between my fingers and staring past the diamond into her eyes. So much prettier . “I’ve thought about who we were way back when we met, and then who we became over the years that followed.” I drop my gaze for a beat and chuckle. “I’ve reflected on who I was in high school. And who you were. The demons you fought and the secrets you kept, all to save everyone else from pain.”
Swallowing, I reach out and take her hand. Her entire arm, shaking. Her fingers, quivering. But I don’t slide the ring on. “I look at who we are now, and I know that there is nothing in the world I can’t live without… Except you.”
Tears track over her cheeks and dangle from the edge of her jaw.
“I could live in a tiny apartment for the rest of my life, so long as you’re in it with me. I could live here in this giant house with holes in the walls, but only if I have you. I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter where I am, Bear. Nothing matters to me, except that I have you. That’s why I couldn’t move on when we were younger, and it’s why I couldn’t choose the brotherhood I had with Marcus over you.”
“I thought we weren’t bringing him back into this?” she snickers. It’s snotty and tear-filled, which is honestly so fucking cute, I wanna puke. “ You did that.”
“Shush.” I tug her closer and stop only when her leg touches my knee. “I can’t choose anything else over you. I’ve tried,” I groan. “I swear, I’ve tried. But there’s no me without you, Kari. And so, if you say no, then there’s no life for me beyond you.”
“Emotional manipulation?” she giggles. “That’s where we’re taking this?”
“You’re being an argumentative pain in my ass.” But hell if my eyes don’t itch. My heart thunders out of control, and yet, there isn’t a single shred of doubt in my soul. “I’m telling you that we don’t exist outside of us. We’re two halves of one whole, Bear. It’s always been that way for us, which is why we’re so fucking willing to set the world on fire for each other. We don’t mean to harm anyone else. But we…” I shake my head. “We belong together. There are no other options.”
“Yes.”
“Hush. Don’t interrupt my proposal.”
“But I’m already saying yes.”
“Shush!” I drag her closer, not a single shred of guilt in my heart when I force her to kneel, too. “I will prove to you, every day for the rest of my life, that being my wife is the right choice.”
“I already said yes.”
“I want to marry you, Kari. I want to spend my life coming home to you. I want to see you at work, and I fucking thrill watching you do it.”
“Did you hear my yes?”
“I want to have a giant, stupid, romantic wedding, where you walk the aisle in front of everyone we know and love, and I want you to kiss me in a church until God blushes. I want to swear my life to you in front of our friends and family. I want your brother to see me?—”
“ You brought him up again. And I already said yes.”
“Shut up!” I grab her lips and pinch them shut. But her chest still bounces with laughter. Her eyes, spill over with tears. “I want to make babies with you, Kari. I want to make a whole fucking family tree with you, starting in this house and enduring into forever. And so…”
Releasing her face, I guide her up again, helping her to her feet and grinning when she looks down over me.
“If you would say yes, Bear. If you would promise to love me forever, then I swear to cherish every single moment we have. I promise to come home to you, every single night. To make you happy, and to bake those chocolate lava cakes you love so much. I promise to kiss you so often, Marcus will want to stab me.”
“That’s four.”
“I want you to be Mrs. Lenaghan. And when the time comes, I want you to be the mother of my babies. But more than anything else, I want you to be happy. With me.”
“Yes.” She slides her finger closer, hooking it in the ring I hold and pausing only when it grows tighter at her knuckle. “I choose you, Luc. Even when you pick fights with me for the sake of fighting.”
I chuckle. Or at least, I think I do. I try to. My heart pounds so heavy, I’m not sure what the fuck I’m doing.
“I choose you, even when you annoy me,” she tremors. “Especially because you do it so well.”
“Decades of practice.” Slowly, I slide the ring to the base of her finger. “It took us till now to make sure I’d perfected it.”
“I choose you.” She lowers into a crouch, pushing me back until I drop to my ass, then she straddles my lap and presses her knees to the floor. “And you choose me,” she whispers. Settling over my cock, she smiles and looks down into my eyes, like the fucking vixen she is as her hair drapes around us like a curtain. “You created a room for us where I get to sleep under the stars every single night.”
“And tulips,” I add. “Even though they’re out of season.”
“And books.” She looks at her sparkling ring and beams. “I see the books. And the chocolate. You remembered a conversation we had a lifetime ago, and you made it happen here, tonight, in the forever home you bought for me.”
“You deserve all the stars.” I cup the side of her neck. “You especially deserve a man who listens when you list off all your favorite things.”
“Even though that night was the beginning of six years apart?”
“Most painful years of my life.” I pull her closer and stop only when our lips are a hair’s breadth apart. “Six really fucking lonely years where my brain reminded me, over and over and over again, the things that would make you happy. I locked that list down and burned it to the back of my consciousness so I would never forget. Because on the off chance you came back to me, I wanted to know how to be the man you deserve.”
“I love you so much.” She dives in and takes my lips with hers. They’re wet from her tears. Trembling for the same reason. But she grinds down over my cock and turns a sweet moment into something else entirely. “I love you, Luca. I always loved you, which is why it all hurt so friggin’ much when we weren’t together.”
“Never again.” I pull her bottom lip between my teeth and glance across to the bed I made up for us already. “Wanna get up off the damn floor yet?”
She barks out an evil, seductress laugh that has my blood running warmer and adrenaline skittering in my veins. “We could spend time right here on the floor. Then we can go over there and try it again. Then we can try out the kitchen. And the hallway. And the bathroom since we have forever.”