CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN #3
For as long as I can remember, I thought if I just kept going, filled my life with noise, didn’t commit to anyone, and simply did my own thing that I could outrun those ghosts that reeked of soot and chanted an endless ringing.
But I was wrong. It wasn’t keeping a beat that brought me peace.
It was finally stilling to hold the unexpected beauty who could bestow it.
My strong, relentless, unwavering Nightmare, chasing away all those haunting spirits.
Turning back to the men who would understand that more than anyone could, I say as much in a simpler way. “Mom would have really loved her.”
The full weight of that statement settles on them, and deciding I’ve devoted enough time to this discussion, I rush over to Tessa, scoop her up, and crash my mouth to hers.
She’s reserved at first, which I anticipated, but then she cups my face, opens for me, and purrs into my mouth with the sweep of her tongue.
Other than that, I keep it PG because Remy is running around.
But hopefully, she sees that nothing about us is a secret as far as I’m concerned.
“You’re grabbing my breast,” she points out through gritted teeth.
“Oh fuck.” I tame my smile, glancing between her doll-like face and her perky tit in my hand. “Look at that. I was just internally praising myself for keeping it clean.”
She huffs a quiet chuckle. “Now that you’re aware, you should probably fix it.”
“Nah.” I peck her sweet nose and switch to the other breast as I sway her to the music. “These are mine now. I’ll grope as I please.”
She either loves that or is ready to kill me. That’s always a fine line with Tessa.
“Since you two are practically dirty dancing …” Jax’s voice trails off.
When I pull back, he’s at the record player. He’s as sober as ever, despite his inner monsters surely raging after this morning’s ordeal. He flashes a conspiratorial grin at us. One that Mercy reads before he even elaborates.
She hops off the couch and slides the coffee table aside.
“Couldn’t hurt to get some practice in,” Jax drawls with his signature beat-too-long pause between words, “before tomorrow’s festivities.”
We have a Last Man Standing dance competition for the employees at our Independence celebration. Because our roots are Prohibition-inspired, at least every few songs are electro swing, and the corresponding dance moves are required. It adds an element of difficulty to the already ridiculous event.
Tessa shakes her head. “Dancing isn’t really my thing, so—”
“It’s the only approved foreplay today,” Cash pipes up. “We’ve already had the hot tub drained and disinfected.”
Her face blushes crimson. Bashfulness on my girl is a rarity, so I drink it in.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she whispers.
Not quiet enough though. My brothers and Mercy all howl with laughter. Even Remy and his puppy join in—without grasping the humor.
I tug her closer to me and lean into her ear. “Do the Charleston with them, or their innuendos will only get worse. You know how family is.”
She cackles, tangling her arms around my neck while I lift her off the ground. “I can say with complete confidence that the sentence you just uttered and my idea of family wouldn’t have coexisted before this moment.”
“I think a lot about your idea of family is going to change, baby.” I still for a beat, letting the swing music and pattering footfalls of dance steps my brothers and I grew up doing with my mom all take center stage, while Tessa’s lips part in awe.
Then I thrust her into the mix, lowering her without warning. “But it starts with a dip.”
She’s a bit stiff, but she goes with it, allowing me to guide her and twirl her around, while Mercy, Jax, and Cash show off. Ryker even hops in and gives his wife a spin.
It’s an odd practice and not one we partake in often outside of balls or parties.
But it always transports us back to leisurely days with my mother, when she would let go of her sadness and tell us to get lost in the music.
Those are my favorite childhood memories.
I think that’s true for all of us, so from time to time, when life feels too heavy, we dance.
After a couple of songs, I plop onto the couch with Tessa in my lap.
Axel is standing back, observing. It’s the only cause of my hesitation to go do what I need to, but I also know that once he fully embraces Tessa being mine, he’ll do anything for her.
So, I don’t stress about his need to process and examine every angle. That’s what he does.
“I have to go take care of something. Will you be okay?”
She sinks her teeth into her lip as she peers around at my family, those turquoise beauties landing on me with a hint of vulnerability and an inner battle she’s not sharing. “I’m good.”
“Don’t let my brothers fuck with you,” I warn.
“Fuck with me? Oh great. Sounds fun.” She plasters on a fake smile that could frighten Christopher Walken. “How long will you be?”
“Not that long, baby girl. Funny how, less than a month ago, you were wondering how to shake me, and now you can’t bear to have me leave the room.”
She shrugs and flutters her eyelashes, as though she isn’t gluing herself to me. “Maybe I asked because I wanted to celebrate my freedom.”
“No freedom here, Nightmare. I know you claim to hate that, but I promise I’ll make being chained to me the ride of your life.”